All Comments on 'Taking Mom'

The story is good. The writing sucks.

....get your mind out of the gutter! Or just don't try to write from a teen perspective.-pistolpackinpete

....the school year was over, and finally it was graduation day. Lisa's pussy oozed with the anticipation of a sexy summer dominating her boyfriend's mother. In the meantime, she wanted to do something sexy outside of her boyfriends house. She decided she would pick out a complete outfit, for her boyfriend's mother to wear to the high school graduation ceremony. Graduation day arrived, and her boyfriend's mother was met with stares. The middle aged woman was dressed in a black strapless bra which barely contained her tits. Her nipples poked thru the bra. A tight mini skirt, and high heels, and the outfit was completed with a ludicrous accesory: Lisa made her boyfriends mother wear a graduation cap and tassel. The woman looked like a slutty middle-aged graduate receiving her degree in spreading her legs. the looks of contempt by the prim and proper parents in the graduation hall could have burned holes thru the woman. ...later that night, lisa smoked a big celebratory cigar. Tears dripped from her boyfriend's mothers eyes, as lisa put out the cigar on the woman's left tit. A big burn hole right thu the black bra. "you were a absolutely friggin slutty piece of shit today!, and Lisa smacked the woman across the face. the discipline game melted away into a summer of intense passion. Lisa took turns with her boyfriend, each getting a fair share of time alone with the middle aged bitches pussy. and Lisa watched as her boyfriend conceived his own baby sister that long, hot, passionate summer.

What I hope would be a fantasy because he shouldn't treat his mother so rough. Fuck her, love her, but not be mean to her.

Story line or plot is good but the writing is awful. I would rewrite this and try to write it as an adult would not as a teenager would.