All Comments on 'Taking One for the Team Ch. 01'

I enjoyed this. The general feeling involved on the part of the characters worked. The scenarios painted were good enough for me to visualise. And I liked the background info you gave.

There was only one thing that really bugged me, and that was that one minute I was reading about Ryan and Dave, and the next thing he's being called Jeff - it shook the continuity enough for me to actually stop, and go and check that I'd got the name Ryan right, or if I'd been imagining things!

To that end, I'd advise you just always get someone else to read through your pieces first - I know there's editors on this site that would look through things for you. It happens so often that people check through their own work and miss things like that.

Anyway, thanks for the read. It was good.

I like the way the story is progressing. It has a plot and that is important. It's not just sex and I like that.

a nice start. i would have preferred more sex but i guess i will wait. i thought that the guys would mutually masturbate each other, that would have been hot

Love your stories but this one kind of confused me a bit. You got Ryan's name messed up with Jeff.. out of nowhere, Jeff's name popped out. Im thinking typo but it happened again. either way, love your stories. =)

Im new to the site and this is just the first story that i found and man u are good.

I thought the guy who started the story said "my name is Ryan Matthews ". The story is still good though.