All Comments on 'Tales after Dusk 05'

Especially the last line, "she forced us to put some aside for our retirement . . ." How funny!

Great twists and turns tho a tad lengthy.

Hi DuskyGirl:)

I can’t pick a favorite because all of these tales have captured me. All the elements, castles, towers, villages, forests, meadows, nymphs, witches, clever strong girls with their wily funny dangerous companions. It just makes me yearn for those fictional times lol. That’s the environment I feel most at home in. How you conceive all these tales and plots is crazy and I love it! I always like happy endings and Alecta’s performance was masterful. Thanks for writing for all of us:) ps: I don’t know how it could be shorter without weakening the tale:) E.

But there’s a halting stilted rhythm to your storytelling. There are unnecessary lines that are more appropriate in a play as an aside. The constant switching from Thorne to Throne and Thorn typos were mildly annoying... how could Jasper ever follow Caraboose home... but my biggest gripe is The absolutely awful name of the villain!

Perhaps if you add a detail like Jasper slipping and spilling a potion of tracking that Kane concocted onto Slyvinia (so much better than Caraboose) that allowed him to track a nymph who can teleport via any door... (yes it’s a run on sue me) it would patch that hole.

And if you do a quick edit and use the search and replace function on those mistyped names. This story would be that much closer to awesome!

Thank you for reading my story and pointing out those errors! I have corrected the typos and uploaded an edited version but it usually takes three weeks before it will become live.

That is a great name for a villain--perhaps I will use it in a future story :) I chose 'Carabosse' for her name because that is her name in some of the older versions of the fairy tale.

Maybe it wasn't as obvious as I intended it to be, but the reason why Jasper was able to follow Carabosse is because she set them up to draw her back to her home...

Maybe Armchair critic jerk didn’t catch the Jasper part because he was so busy looking for mistakes🤪 Anonomous always brings at least one rude miscreant who will try to tear you down and try to show their imaginary genius at the same time lol. Then they always throw in a back handed compliment at the end, as if that will forgive their condescending boorish behavior. Dusk, you’re writing is fantastic just exactly as it is. It is wonderful and I love your style!! Don’t let this fraud get to you. Dusk has the courage to post her fine writing, for free I might add, and I support her efforts and achievements. Thank you for writing for us AD🙃

Your writing is just amazing. Thank you

They flow pretty well.The distinctive characters grow sometimes...Thumbs up!

I've some little quibbles, that probably should be ignored...but...

"Anyways" sounds a usage out of the mouth of southern hill hicks, fine folks they may be,,,"Anyway is quite sufficient.

"Lie/lay/ lied , etc..Please learn the proper conjugations...Misuse is jarring and i'm guilty of that too...But then i was a shitty English student.

Please DO keep writing!