Tales of the Apprentice 01 Ch. 09

"I thought I might find you here," she said. "It's quite a sight, isn't it?"

He shrugged.

"It's a field with a sprouting crop on it. Nothing I haven't seen before."

She smiled.

"Yes. And yet..."

He nodded.

"Yes," he agreed. "And yet."

"You put your Energy in it, Galen," she pointed out. "Some of your own life force is in there. You can't help feeling some of that. It's a bond that you can't just ignore."

He gazed at the field, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"That happens far more often than most people think, doesn't it?"

She nodded, only mildly surprised by the acuteness of his insight.

"Yes. I'm sure you've noticed it before. When you were working as a builder, and you built something really good, something you could really be proud of, didn't you find it hard to walk away from it?"

"Sometimes, yes," he admitted. "Are you saying it's the same thing?"

"Yes. It's exactly the same thing. Sex magic is not the only way in which we invest our life force into something. Most people do it on a regular basis without even being aware of it. It's a form of love. You can be in love with your own handiwork almost as much as you can be in love with a person. It's an investment of Energy. It's why parents love their children. It's why men and women love each other. It's a transfer of life force, nothing more."

"Nothing more? It seems like quite a big thing to me."

She nodded.

"It is," she agreed. "But it's also an everyday thing. Love is Energy, and Energy is life."

"And what about other feelings?" he asked.

Serana paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts.

"When you really get down to it, there are only two... elementary feelings, I suppose the term is," she said then. "Those feelings are love and fear. Everything else is just a combination of those two, in different measures and different forms. Things like courage, pride and hope are mostly love and a little bit of fear. Anger and hatred are mostly fear but love is also in there somewhere. Things like hope, sadness, curiosity or courage can be any combination of the two. And so on."

He stood there, silent, thinking about what she had told him. Then he slowly nodded.

"Pleasure and pain. Light and dark. Life and death. All different sides of the same coin, and none can exist without the other."

"In a way, yes," she said, impressed by the depth of his understanding.

"And love and fear always go hand in hand?" he asked.

"Yes. They do. When you love someone, you also fear losing them. When you fear someone, that fear is driven by your love of yourself and your love of life. If you genuinely don't love life or yourself, you have very little to fear."

He nodded as his eyes caught hers, and she knew that he understood far better what she had been telling him than even she herself had realized.

"Is that it?" he asked. "Is that really all of it?"

And she knew it was too late to take back her words, and the look he gave her told her that he knew it, too.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he said calmly.

She stood there silently for a time while the light slowly turned soft and pink with the approach of dusk. A stillness seemed to settle about them.

"Alright," he said. 'Then I'll talk about it. We Melded last night, Serana. We linked our minds. All our minds. And through that link I saw a few things. I don't know all that much about it yet, but I really get the feeling that a Melding does not automatically lay your entire mind bare to everyone you Meld with, is that right?"

"Yes," she admitted. "Otherwise nobody could ever be a Channeler."

"Oh? How do you mean?"

"A Channeler acts as a... conduit. A Channeler bundles the Energies of a group of mages and uses the combined total to power an Intent. But while all mages taking part in that process have to agree to let you use their Energies that way, they cannot share all their thoughts and feelings with the Channeler. It would simply overwhelm the Channeler's mind. All these Energies are, by and large, mostly just that: Energy. It's all much the same. But the thoughts and feelings and emotions of dozens or even hundreds of mages would all be different. It would be like diving into a maelstrom. No mind could handle all that without drowning in it."

He nodded slowly.

"That makes sense," he said. "I hadn't really thought about it, but yes, I see what you mean. But..."

"But what?"

"But that also means that you could have hidden the things I saw last night. You could have kept it all from me. But you didn't. None of you did. And that can only mean that you wanted me to see what I saw."

Serana said nothing. There was nothing to say. She knew he was right.

"Ayden and Irya love each other very much, don't they?" he asked.

Serana nodded. Galen thought for a moment, then looked at her curiously.

"Is that why..." he began.

"Why his orgasm was so intense? In part, yes. Sex with someone you truly love is always better. And of course he's also very good at what he does. They both are. In time you'll get there too, Galen. Ayden already told you that."

"Yes, he did. But I already knew that, through the Meld last night. The intensity of it just surprised me at the time, that's all. What also surprised me was how you feel about me."

And there it was. Serana held back a sigh. She'd known that was coming. She'd known she couldn't avoid it. It had been unavoidable for quite some time. But now that the moment she'd dreaded was here, she didn't know what to say, much less what to do.

"You like me," Galen continued. "I know I haven't got as many years behind me as you have centuries, and I realize that... gap, if you will, is something that will never go away. I also understand that I'm your apprentice and that you want to keep a certain distance between us because you need to teach me. You must be able to tell me what to do and to shut up and do it, and occasionally you'll need to kick my backside when I do something stupid. And you've pretty much said it yourself: loving someone always comes with the fear of losing that person. And yet..."

Yes, she thought. And yet. His earlier words, echoing though her mind, seemed uncannily appropriate now.

"There's a little more to it than that, though, isn't there?" he asked her. "Ayden and Irya love each other more deeply than I knew was possible, and they're not afraid of it. But you... You are."

She sighed, not trusting herself to speak quite yet. He was right, of course. And they both knew it.

He let her have her silence. Serana was grateful. Many people would not have understood her need for it. Clearly, he did. And he deserved an answer.

"His name was Joren," she said finally. "It was.... quite a while ago. I met him one day in the market place at a small village where I was staying at the time. I don't even remember its name. I'd been spending a few quiet years, and then a few more, so I... I looked more the way I did when you first met me, and less like I look now. And he was much older than you are, so... Well, we were a good match at the time. Except for one thing."

"He wasn't a mage," Galen said softly.

She sighed. Strange, how even after all these years she still found it so hard to talk about it.

"That's right," she said, her voice almost a whisper. "He wasn't. And I should have known better. Great Mother, I should have known better. I should have walked away. But I didn't. I was tired of being alone. And I liked him. I liked him a lot."

Galen's arm around her pulled her closer to him, and she could feel some of his Energy infusing her, merely as a result of his wish to give her some strength. She'd have to talk to him about that, she thought irrationally. A mage should have complete control over the Energies, and the lad probably didn't even realize what he was doing, supporting her like this.

"Then, one day, I realized that I loved him," she continued after a while. "By then it was already far too late, of course. I already loved him far more and far longer than I should have let myself. I loved him so much that I forgot who I was, and who he was. And he loved me."

"How long were you together?" Galen asked softly.

"For the rest of his life. About forty years, give or take. He grew old. It was easy for me to change my appearance so that I looked as if I aged about as much as he did. He never knew. Or if he did, he never let on. But I don't think he ever knew... what I was. At least, I like to think he didn't. Maybe he did, but he never said anything. And when he died, when I lost him, I lost a part of myself. And I don't want to have to go through that ever again."

Galen sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said simply.

"It was a long time ago."

"Does that matter?" he asked. "I told you about Bernice, the girl I knew before the plague took her. If she hadn't died, I think I might have ended up marrying her. I know, it was very early for us to think about something like that. But we did. And when she died... I stopped wanting to live, for a while. And you know what? It still hurts. I suppose it always will. Somehow I don't think these things are just a matter of time. But..."

He looked at her, his face serious.

"When we first met, you told me something I'll never forget," he continued. "Let this be your first lesson, you said: for everything in life there is a price to pay. I remember it clearly, because I knew it was true the moment you said it. The pain of losing Bernice was a high price for loving her. But if I had to choose now, I'd still choose the love between us and deal with the pain, rather than not to have had our love at all. I'm glad that I knew her. I'm glad we loved each other the way we did. Losing her hurt more than anything I've ever known, but if that's the price for having had her in my life, then so be it."

Serana stood there for a few long moments. To have to have these things explained to her by her own apprentice! He was right, of course. But then, he was no longer the lad who had walked down her garden path a year ago. He'd grown and matured much more that time alone accounted for. Finally she looked at him, a faint smile on her face, and she slowly nodded. Nothing more needed to be said by either one of them.

Dusk gradually deepened as the last rays of the setting sun faded on the horizon and the gentle cool of early evening began to settle around them.

"I'd better go help Ayden in the kitchen," Galen said after a while.

"Irya is taking care of that tonight," she told him. "I think they've decided to give us a little time to ourselves."

"They're good people. One thing I know for sure, after our Melding last night, is that they both love you, Serana. They love you a lot. And they don't want you to be lonely or unhappy."

The golden glow of a lamp shone from the house behind them. In the faint light she saw him smile at her, but then his expression became more serious.

"I know I'm not the one for you," he continued. "I have no silly illusions about that, and I know you don't, either. And that's fine. But I'm still here for you whenever you need me. I just want you to know that."

"Thank you, Galen," she said softly. "That means a lot to me."

"Any time. Shall we go in?"

She nodded, and they turned and went back to the house, into the soft, glowing light of lamps and candles and the smells of dinner.

* * *

Quietly Serana made her way up the stairs, avoiding the creaky fourth step, holding a single candle before her to light her way though the quiet darkness. She stepped into the space underneath the roof where Galen slept, her bare feet making no noise on the wooden floor.

Galen sat up in his bed.

"Did I wake you?" she asked, he voice barely more than a whisper.

He shook his head.

"I couldn't sleep," he said. "All this reading about demons and blood magic and death magic... It's getting a bit much."

She smiled.

"I can imagine," she said. "It's a lot to take in."

"Yes. But that's not why you're here, is it?"

She answered his question by putting the candle down and lifting the hem of the thin, light robe she wore. She pulled it up and over her head, then dropped the garment on the floor. She wore nothing underneath.

The air in the room under the rafters was balmy, but still it felt slightly cool on her skin. She turned, slowly and deliberately, so that the soft, warm glow of the candle played across her body in a way that she knew would give him be best possible view of her: the delicate line of her jaw, the shape of her shoulders; the round, firm fullness of her breasts; her slender waist; the curve of her hips, her marble thighs... Inwardly she laughed at herself, at the vanity that a woman of her age should have become immune to by now. But then, why should she not allow herself this innocent pleasure? It wasn't like she needed to seduce him, but still it felt something like that, and deep within her a few small sparks of girlish joy danced around and made her feel good in all the right places. She felt her nipples tingle as they slowly began to harden.

And the look on his face as he watched what she so deliberately showed off to him was all she could have hoped for.

She sat down on the edge of the bed, took the thin blanket that covered the lower half of his nude body and moved it aside. For a long moment he looked into her eyes, then he reached out and touched her face. He gently caressed it, then moved down, tracing the outline of her jaw and the hollow of her neck with his fingertips, then on past the ridge and dimple of her collar bone.

With both hands he caressed her breasts, the smooth flesh soft yet firm under his touch as his fingertips played across the tops, then down along their outer curves, savoring the firm, round, plump fullness of them. His touch was light and delicate, and little jolts of pure pleasure shot through her breasts as he traced their curves, slowly circumnavigating the delicate tips in smaller and smaller circles. Great Mother, she wanted to feel his touch there, and she felt her nipples continue to swell and harden in anticipation.

When his fingertips finally found those little buds, a slight shudder ran through her and she drew in her breath sharply as he caressed them, rubbed his thumbs across the firm, hard tips and, almost as if by accident, gently squeezed them. She held back a moan with some effort as a wave of pleasure swept through her. Great Mother, it felt so good! She noticed the first of her moisture begin to pool between her nether lips.

She reached out and touched his chest, then gently scratched him with her nails, moving down across is stomach and his abdomen until she reached the base of his cock. It stirred under her touch, and she took it in her hand. Almost immediately it began to swell as she held it, proof that he wanted this as much as she did. She held it, feeling it grow longer, thicker and firmer with every beat of his heart. She gently squeezed it, wanting the contact between her hand and his swelling rod to be even more intimate, and he moved in response as he sat there on the bed, his eyes still locked with hers. His cock continued to lengthen until the head came peeping out from underneath his foreskin. She gently pulled down on the skin around his shaft to completely expose the head, and his breathing suddenly deepened.

"I want you," she whispered.

What had made her say that? Of course there was no possible doubt as to her intentions with him. But she still could have put some other face on it. She could still have pretended she simply needed another infusion of his Energies to sustain her. She could have told him he needed further instruction in the arts of sex. But somehow her defenses had crumbled, and all that was left now was complete honesty.

And his eyes told her that he understood that completely, that he knew her thoughts and her feelings as well as if they were still linked through last night's Melding. That did happen sometimes, she knew; it was possible for a Melding to create a certain residual closeness. But she also knew that that wasn't what was happening between them right now.

His cock had grown fully hard in her hand, hot and hard and ready. She gently stroked it, feeling the pulse of his life surge through it, and her fingertips delicately traced the taut, silky surface of the head.

Suddenly he turned, put his arm around her and gently pushed her down onto the bed. His hands found her breasts again, and he bent forward to place a tender kiss on the one closest to him. His lips followed the path of his fingers, and she felt his tongue touch the soft, smooth skin. When he reached her nipple, hard and swollen, she felt tiny, blue-white sparks of pure Energy shoot through it.

He ran his tongue across the sensitive tip of her nipple, and she felt it harden even more. With his lips he caressed the sides of it, and then he sucked it, gently, while the tip of his tongue worked its magic across its puckered surface. But then he sucked harder, and she felt it slip deeper between his lips until his teeth lightly scraped the sides of it. The feeling was almost painfully intense. Almost, but not quite. Instead, the pleasure was unbelievable. Great Mother, it felt good, so good! With his fingers gently squeezing her one nipple and his tongue and lips caressing the other, he unleashed a wave of pleasure within her. It flowed through her breasts and from there on down to the area right behind her nether lips, and she didn't need her inner Vision to know that her Energies were building at a pace she hadn't known for quite a while.

Unlike other young men she had known, he demonstrated that he knew the value of patience. He moved slowly, taking his time. His fingertips continued to play across the round curves of her breasts, his mouth alternating between them. The pleasure he kindled there gradually permeated her entire body, and a wonderful but increasingly urgent desire began to make itself felt between her thighs.

In the end it was her patience, not his, that gave out. She put her hands on his head, her fingers playing through hair. Then she gently lifted his lips from her rock-hard, tingling nipples. He looked at her and she smiled as she gently pushed his head in the direction of her stomach. At the same time she parted her legs, in what was unmistakably an invitation. He smiled in acceptance.

As she let go of his head he placed a tender kiss between her breasts, then began to move his lips down across her stomach, her belly button, her abdomen. For a moment she feared he would want to tease her more and spend time on her hips or her legs before touching her where she wanted him to, but he seemed to sense the urgency of her need, and he also appeared to understand that while there is a time and place for such things, right now she needed him to be more direct. When his lips reached her mons, she felt his hands on the insides of her thighs, gently stroking her there, his fingertips finding those places on her skin that sent little shocks of pleasure right to that most intimate area at their apex. She responded by pulling up her knees and spreading her thighs as wide as she could.

The hint was not wasted on him. The hands on the insides of her thighs moved inward, unhurriedly but not wasting any time, either. He moved just slowly enough to let her savor the anticipation, but he didn't tease. It wasn't long before his hands met each other in the middle and she felt his fingertips where she wanted to feel them most of all. They traced the outlines of her nether lips, which had begun to flower open to reveal their pink insides, slick and wet with her nectar. Then he bent down and kissed her there, his lips touching her hot, wet center, and she could not stifle a soft moan as she felt the tip of his tongue probe between those delicate folds.