Taps

It was mid-March and Sage was looking forward to the summer. All two months of it. She was even thinking about possibly taking a vacation to somewhere exotic or at least interesting. She'd never traveled much and the thought of going to Italy or Spain or maybe France seemed like something she'd very much enjoy. She'd completely forgotten about Brad Harmon until another letter arrived with his address in the return area.

"Dear Ms. Moore,

Just wanted to let you know I'm headed up your way during Spring break next week. My sister recently married a guy from the Seattle area and they just bought a home in Tukwila. I don't know the area, but I'm sure that rings a bell as I know you live fairly close to there.

At any rate, I'll be there for most of the week. If you would like, I would be happy to get together with you.

Brad

PS. I did immediately recognize that smile. (I see where he got it and his good looks from.) Hope to see you soon."

Sage put the letter down and found herself experiencing a flood of emotions. Most them were about the mixed feelings she was sure she'd feel should she actually meet with Brad. Down side or no down side, Sage wasn't about to let fear rule her life. She needed to talk to this young man who knew her son. The man who was right next to him the last moments of his life. She would meet with him, share stories about Thomas, and do her best to make it into a positive experience in spite of knowing she would cry and probably cry a lot. But she also knew that was the price she would have to pay in order to learn as much as she could about her son's last few days on earth.

She received his letter on Friday and was more than a little surprised to get a text from him the next day. It read: "Heading your way right now. Please let me know when you'd like to get together. Brad."

She just assumed she'd have at least a couple of days to get emotionally ready for this, but now that he was on his way, she didn't want to wait until mid-week to meet him.

"Is this evening too soon? I can make dinner or we could just have a drink. Your choice. Sage."

Several minutes later she got her answer. "Tonight is perfect. My sister is a terrible cook so if a real home-cooked meal is possible, please sign me up. Let me know what time and whether I should bring red or white wine. Brad."

Sage smiled. "How about 7 o'clock? I'm making pasta primavera and I have both red and white so just bring your appetite. Sage." She added a smiley face and hit 'send.'

The day dragged on in spite of Sage having tried to get all of her photos of Thomas together into one place. She felt a little silly as she got ready starting at around five o'clock. What difference did it make what she wore? He wasn't there to see her, per se, he was there to share his experiences with her late son. Even so, she wanted to at least look nice so she spent some time doing her hair, nails, and makeup before deciding what to wear.

She settled on an off-white cashmere sweater and a pair of black pants. She thought about wearing heels but that seemed over the top. She chose a pair of flats and added a gold necklace and a pair of matching earrings and called it quits but not until she took a final look in her full-length mirror. The aerobics had improved her fitness, but her figure didn't need improving. She was so used to seeing her own reflection she no longer fully appreciated just how good she still looked. Her legs where slender and shapely her butt was tight, and her waist melted into an hourglass figure capped off with two beautiful, round breasts that were nicely highlighted by the form-fitting material. Her golden hair fell loosely around her pretty face and touch of lip gloss pulled everything together quite nicely.

She got dinner going by 6:30 knowing it didn't long to get primavera together. She had some French bread she'd split open, buttered, and got ready to warm up before adding a touch of garlic salt, then went to work cutting and dicing a crisp garden salad. She selected a bottle of white wine and all she needed to do was serve it up whenever they were ready to eat.

Sage found herself checking her small gold watch every few minutes starting at 6:30 as she busied herself with setting the table and keeping an eye on the pasta. Even so, she was startled when the doorbell rang and she nearly dropped the pasta strainer before pouring the contents into the large bowl on her counter.

As she headed toward the front door, she noticed it was exactly 7: 00pm. "Talk about punctual," she said. She took a quick look in a small mirror that hung in the foyer before opening the door. When she did, she was so nervous about meeting this young man, that just how attractive he was escaped her. She found herself smiling so broadly it hurt as she said, "Brad? Hi! I'm Sage. It's so good to finally meet you!"

She let him in and opened her arms as she did inviting him to hug her. He smiled and told her how good it was to meet her too, before accepting her offer. They stood there and held each other for several seconds and Sage found herself somehow thinking if she held him tightly enough or long enough, she might find or feel some part of Thomas in him. When they let go of one another, Sage closed the door, and found her eyes already moist with tears.

"Come in, please," she said as she reached for a tissue on the sideboard. "How was your trip?" she asked as they walked through the living room toward the kitchen. "Please have a seat," she told him pointing to a barstool by the granite counter. "I need to finish up getting this ready."

He thanked her and said, "It was good. Traffic wasn't bad and I went straight to Heather's house. My sister, of course. I got things put away and spent a little time with them which was nice."

"I feel like I'm taking you away from your family, Brad," she said as she finally got the primavera ready.

"Not at all," he told her. "They knew I was coming over here and they totally understand. I'm just glad we finally got the chance to do this."

She began putting food on the table and he asked, "May I help with anything?"

"Um...you could take the bread out of the oven and sprinkle it with garlic salt to your taste," she suggested.

He grabbed an oven mitt and did just that. "I hope that isn't too much," he said. "I do like garlic so you can blame me if I overdid it."

"I'm sure it'll be just fine. As long as we're both eating some, it shouldn't be a problem, right?" Both of them laughed knowing how strong—and offensive—garlic could be in only person was eating it.

As they ate, they avoiding talking about Thomas and focused rather on their jobs while also touching on her recent divorce.

"I'm really sorry, Ms. Moore. I'm not equating a divorce with the loss of Thomas, but that's a lot of stress for one person to experience."

"It was for the best, Brad," she told him. "And please call me Sage, okay?"

"Sure thing," he said with a smile. She'd relaxed enough to be able to appreciate what she'd missed at the front door. He had to be one of the best-looking men—of any age—she'd ever seen. He had very thick, very dark hair, blue eyes, high cheek bones, full lips, and and an amazingly perfect smile. She could tell he was also in great shape physically and felt sure he must spend time in the gym. Even so, she decided to ask him.

"I know this question sounds absurdly cliche, but do you work out?" She couldn't help but smile as she took a small bite of salad.

"Yes, I do," he told her. "I'd like to credit the Marine Corps for that, but I was a gym rat from junior high on. I played football and wrestled in high school and ended up going to college on a wrestling scholarship." He was very modest in his explanation and that only added to his charm. "How about you, Sage? You look like you're in great shape yourself," he asked as he took a small sip of wine.

"Me? Just aerobics. I don't do any resistance training although I know I should. My sister and I go three times a week and we both really enjoy it."

"Well, it shows. I meant to tell you how nice you look, but didn't. I'm not normally the kind of guy who lets things slide but that's twice I've done that with you."

Sage felt silly as she realized she might be blushing. She hoped she wasn't because what woman her age still did that? Then again, how many women her age had someone this attractive eating dinner with them.

"May I ask you another question while I'm embarrassing myself?"

"Sure."

"Have you ever worked as a model or anything?" Sage raised her eyebrows letting him know she knew that was a crazy thing to ask someone she'd just met especially considering why he was there.

Brad smiled and she could see he was trying not to laugh. "Okay, don't laugh but the answer is...kind of."

"Kind of? How does one 'kind of' model," she asked. His smile was amazing and that dimple in his chin was...

"The Marine Corps used me in one of their recruiting videos. I played a guy who was slaying a fire-breathing dragon. I started out in civilian clothes then magically morphed into a Marine in dress blues who pulls out his sword and with one quick slash, kills the evil monster before you hear: the few, the proud, the Marines."

"Seriously? Was it ever on TV?" she asked now genuinely curious.

"Oh, yeah. You can't imagine how much grief I got for it, either."

"What kind of 'grief' are you talking about?"

"Well, let's see. I got called 'pretty boy' for a couple of years by all of my peers. Then there was 'movie star' and a few other less flattering terms I won't share with you. It was all in good fun, of course. Marines don't cut each other any slack." He stopped smiling then said, "That's the only thing I miss, you know. Being around the guys."

"Why did you get out?" she asked.

"I wasn't cut out for war. My fitness reports said I did great, it's just that I took every loss very personally. Thomas was the first of three of my Marines who were killed that first tour. I lost two others when I went back two years later. I was facing a third tour when I decided I'd seen enough. We weren't fighting to win and I couldn't justify killing people I didn't know when I felt we'd just end up and quit like we did in Iraq." He looked at Sage and said, "Sorry. I didn't mean to editorialize or sound political."

"I can't even imagine the things you've seen."

"I'm glad," he said as his smile returned.

They finished eating and Sage poured them another glass of wine and said, "I have a bunch of pictures of Thomas I've been wanting to show you. I know it won't be all that interesting to you, but you know how we moms are, right?"

"I do know how moms can be, but you couldn't be more wrong about wanting to see your pictures. I'd very much like that," he told her as she invited him to join her on the couch. She had three very large albums sitting there on the coffee table.

"Don't worry, I won't make you look at all of these. I just wanted to show you a select few that I earmarked." Brad saw yellow stickies in quite a few places and waited for her to open the first one.

Sage spent the next twenty minutes or so going through Thomas's pictures from new born to high school graduate to boot camp graduation to his two visits back home on leave.

"Those were really great, Sage," he said as he turned his head toward her. "You have so much to be proud of."

"Yes, I do," she told him. She'd been fighting back tears the entire time as she recalled each stage of her boy's life. The final pictures were from his memorial service and it was all she could do to hold it together. "Sorry," she said as she dabbed her eyes.

"Don't be," he said sincerely.

"So tell me about those last few days before, you know..."

Brad explained how most of his rifle company had been on a humanitarian mission to a small village for two days before Thomas's death. "We provided medical and dental care to the degree we could. We did our best to win hearts and minds but it was very difficult because the Taliban would kill anyone they thought might be helping us. Mostly we treated small children, women, and older men. The level of poverty there is astounding. They have no electricity, no running water, and if they're lucky maybe they own a goat. Even the poorest of the poor here in America have a much higher quality of life than the people in those remote villages over there."

"So...how did it happen?" Sage asked. She'd been given general information, but she really didn't know the details.

"Do you have Google Earth on your computer?" he asked her.

"No, but you can add it if you need to," she replied.

They sat down in her home office and several minutes later Brad zoomed in on the northwest corner of Afghanistan. "We were down here in this tiny little village," he explained as he pointed out where they were. "We were headed back to our firebase up north." He showed her where that was at. "We were about half way back being careful to stay off of anything resembling a road or a footpath, but at one point there's one and only only way to go. We have these vehicles called MRAPS and we send them through first knowing that if they run over an IED, no one will be seriously injured because they're so heavily armored. The MRAP went through, then a white Toyota driven by Afghani soldiers went through and it looked safe."

"And that's when..."

"Yes. We were right here at this little creek bed and when we came out of it, whoever was watching us set off the IED by remote control. As I said, I don't remember anything. No sound, no flash, nothing."

"How is it that only Thomas died? Didn't the other Marine in back live, too?"

"He did. It's all dependent on the blast wave and how it comes through the vehicle. It was evidently directly under the driver's seat and..."

Tears were falling from Sage's eyes and Brad stopped talking. "I'm so sorry, Sage. Maybe if I'd..."

"No, it's not your fault, Brad. You did everything the way they trained you. I don't blame you. Please understand that, okay?"

His face was solemn as he quietly said, "Thank you, but I do blame myself and I always will. Yes, we did everything by the book, but we're paid to think and not just react. I can't help but believe I missed something. That if I'd just..."

She put her hand on his shoulder and said, "Don't do this to yourself. Please."

He looked over at her and because her own eyes were so wet she couldn't be sure but it seemed as though his might also be welling up. Not wanting her to see it, he turned quickly back to the computer screen and said, "So that's exactly where it happened. From there, they took Thomas to the air base at Bagram in Afghanistan before bringing him to Dover Air Force Base in Delaware on his way home."

He turned toward and his eyes were perfectly clear again as he said, "Is there anything else you'd like to know?"

Brad spent the next hour or so telling lighter stories about Thomas and the kinds of things he did, why the other Marines liked him so much, and what he meant to Brad personally. Sage also shared her own stories of what Thomas was like growing up, what he loved doing, and why he joined the Marine Corps.

As they were getting ready to say goodbye, Sage found herself back in the foyer with Brad who said, "He was an amazing young man, Sage. As I said, you have every right to be very proud of him."

"Thank you, Brad. And thank you so much for visiting. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

"I enjoyed meeting you, Sage, and the pleasure was all mine. As I said, I can see both where Thomas got his good looks and character from."

"Good looks? Oh, my gosh! That's very sweet of you to say, but I have a mirror."

"Then you know I'm telling the truth. I didn't come here with any intention other than talking to you about Thomas, but after meeting you...you really are a very beautiful woman, Sage, but you're so much more than that. I know how inappropriate this is going to sound, but the one thing I learned from my time on active duty is that life is short and I don't want to miss anything worth doing or anyone I'd like to get to know. So with that in mind, would you consider letting me buy you dinner while I'm in town?"

Sage's head was spinning and her heart hadn't even stopped hurting. Her brain was screaming, "Say no!" but her broken heart was telling her, "Don't be a fool. He's right. Life IS short. Say yes!"

She started to speak, but found herself having a hard time coming up with the right words. "You want to...I mean, are you asking me...I'm not sure I..."

"If you're seeing someone, I understand. If my relationship to Thomas makes this too strange, I understand that, too. I just don't want to miss the chance to get to know you, Sage."

As she stood there looking up into his eyes, she finally realized he was also very tall. He had to be around 6' 1" or so and the way he was looking at her was sending what felt like an electrical current through her body that was being generated somewhere just below her naval where she was aware she was suddenly growing very wet.

"Well, if you really do want to do that, I suppose it would be okay. I just don't want to take up any more of your time with your sister since you only have a few days."

Brad smiled as he told her, "I love my sister, but we can only take each other in small doses. And as far as my new brother-in-law is concerned, I can't really stand to take much of him in any amount, so you'd actually be doing me a big favor."

"I guess in that case, I should at least be willing to help you out," she said as a jolt of electricity shot through her body.

"Thank you," he told her. "But I really do want to go out with you just because I'm so attracted to you," he told her sincerely. "Not just physically which is pretty wonderful if I may say so, but intellectually and emotionally, as well. You're really an amazing woman, Sage."

"Um, well, okay. I...I'd like that, Brad. Very much."

"Me too," he told her. "At the risk of really pushing my luck...is tomorrow too soon?"

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow is Sunday so um...sure, I think that would be just fine."

"May I pick you up around seven since that seemed to work well for us tonight?" he asked.

"Yes. Seven sounds perfect."

"Well, thank you again for dinner and for sharing your photos and memories of Thomas. This was really nice and for me, it was very important." He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "Thank you. Sincerely. You don't know how much this meant to me."

Sage wanted to reply, but she couldn't. She just nodded her head as Brad opened his arms this time inviting a hug. Sage slipped into his arms and held him again. This time, she didn't want it end again, but very different reasons. When he let go of her she reluctantly let her own arms fall to her side. She looked back up at him and finally managed to say, "This was really good for me too, Brad. Thank you for taking the time to share your memories of Thomas."

He wished her goodnight and told her he would see her tomorrow at seven.

"Bye," she said as he stepped outside.

"Oh, my heavens. What is wrong with you, Sage?" she said as she realized her heart was pounding out of her chest. She closed the door then peeked out the side window to watch him walk to his car. "He's barely older than Thomas!" She thought about it and realized that couldn't be true. She started counting on her fingers. "Let's see. College graduate makes him 22. Five years on active duty is 27, plus out for three years makes..." Suddenly Sage felt a whole lot less guilty for feeling so...desperate and...horny...and for what had seemed like cradle robbing which now only seemed like some kind of silly, middle-aged fantasy.

Sage had no idea where Brad was taking her and she was fretting about what to wear. She couldn't imagine going to Burger King and it seemed unlikely a school teacher would take her to a five-star restaurant. She decided it would likely be something like The Outback or Carrabas and made her decision based on that.