All Comments on 'Tear's Desire'

Although the futanari genre is not one I have explored the story surrounding this particular use of it is very well done. The characters are well developed, they have nice dialog interaction to bring them to life, and the story has a good flow to it. The sex is hot and in balance with the story. Very nice work, BJ.

critique; When I went through this in beta I pointed out most of what i saw that tripped me up and you changed that. So, as it stands, I can't say I see any problems with it story wise.

I know you left the ending open so you can add to it in your next chapters, that both good and bad,. Good for those stories ... but bad for this one. It left a cliffhanger ending that is never a good idea if you can prevent it. Or it you use one have the next chapter prepared to drop in within a week or so of the "cliff-hanged" story. You can't leave readers "hanging" for very long.

Suspense is good. Taken too long and it can hurt you. (been there, done that, got the bruised comment sections to show it.)

As I said, the sex was smoking hot, and very nicely varied. It touched on lesbian, anal, toys, oral and then the futanari element. That was a lot for one story to bring into play and it worked.

Nice work.

Now go write another one. Lol.

MST

good character development, solid mechanics, (grammar, spelling, dialogue, etc.).

I've read a LOT of authors on Lit, (easily 10+ years & I'm a voracious reader); this is the first story of yours I've read, but certainly not the last.

I don't know if you have professional writing ambitions, but if the rest of your stuff is this quality... look out.

I prefer to read Sci-Fi/Fantasy, but this particular branch is not something I'm usually drawn to, (not elven, dwarven, but dark fey, I thinks there's just something about the name necromancer that doesn't draw me), so I can't comment on your accuracy regarding it; I'll have to leave that to others.

Thanks, and job well done. I will now proceed to work my way through your postings. You'll undoubtedly hear from me again.

GeoD

Very well written and thought out story. Great character development and kept me hooked until the end. Great job!

When I come onto Literotica, my first thought is that I'll be seeing some sort of sexual story, with no real plot or purpose. So I can honestly say I was pleasantly surprised to read this.

The entire story is wonderfully constructed, with great word choice and structure throughout. Your knowledge of the fantasy world is on point, and the development of Tear and Arach was beautiful. Tear's development especially caught me, her inner turmoil eventually leading to the tragedy that follows. Rarely do I begin to feel strongly over erotica or the likes, but I was on the verge of tears over Arach's past and actually crying a bit when she was lost. Call me overemotional, but this one story has already made you one of my favorite authors.

I don't know if you plan to continue this, or create more loosely tied stories to it, but I sincerely hope you do. I'm hooked. Great job, keep up the good work, and if you're pursuing it, I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

It was so easy too fall into your story, now I need to know what happens! I guees I need to read more of your stories now.

There is no way this can be the end! That's too cruel!

Really good reading mate....will be waiting to read another of your creations. Much success in your furture. :)

Disappointing after Leo And The Dragon and Shilana's Trial, which are awesome. The storyline was weak and I didn't enjoy the style. Abandoned it about half way through. Same criticism for The Temptation of Gheeran, Tear's Desire and The Faceless Executioner.

Strand