All Comments on 'Tease Me, Please Me Pt. 01'

Right off the bat its too short. There also isn't enough background or character development and those are very important in developing a really good story. Those are the negatives, now for the positives. The storyline premise is good and the sexual tension is there as well, but its missing the key element and that is his perspective, as we already know hers.

The point of her not knowing just what he'd do to her was refreshing and the logical way to proceed. Whether he took her by force or the way that he did puts into focus that he just doesn't lust after her but is probably in love with her. Now that could be a troubling point if she does not feel the same about him? As for the the use of too many ? marks don't bother me as there are questions being asked even if they aren't all being answered.

Definitely needs more chapters and will be waiting to read them. To help give you some insight and help with ideas you might want to consider getting an editor to help you stay on track. An editor isn't just for checking for mistakes, but there to be a sounding board to bounce ideas off of, plus give you ideas if you have writes block. I am looking forward to continue reading about Ryn and Ben and please don't take too long for chapter 2.

look the story is good but it's a bit short you need to keep going and don't just write 1/3 of a story ok do it full we all have seen 3 4 or even more page so don't feel shy and just write ok this one is ok but it goes need some finishing keep going but make it a lot longer!

more and longer chapters

the story is fine shorter than some longer than others, leads it open for more chapters, worked for me mmmm xx

ok, you got us interested but left us dangling. tend to agree that a little more character development would have been nice (what i call the appetizer), but you have to give us more of the main course here....and soon.

We want to hear more .