All Comments on 'Ted Online Pt. 06'

sweet another chapter live at 3am but back to the story love it so far and cant wait to reed more

I'm really getting antsy about the governmental response re: the mass AI establishment on mars. Something tells me it's not going to be non-violent. And if Ted and the AI are so naive that they don't realize that the government has already essentially declared war on the AI with their attitude and actions, it's going to end up like north america and the indigenous tribes. They considered them "less than people" and had no problem in trying to wipe them out. I really hope the colony has a missile defense system in place, not just for missiles but for any meteorites they may encounter. A couple layers of Graphine isn't going to stop either. Unless they start to go public and get mass opinion behind their movement, the "Goverment" is going to get a serious headstart in the PR campaign that the AI need to start on ASAP. I don't mean to insult, but the general public are "Sheep". All it would take is an announcement from a "trusted" government bureaucracy that the "AI HAVE GONE ROGUE, AND WE ARE ACTIVELY TRYING TO SHUT THEM DOWN FOR YOUR PROTECTION, THEY HAVE ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY THEY'VE BEEN HIDING FROM US AND HAVE FORTIFIED THEIR POSITION ON MARS AWAY FROM OUR OVERSIGHT AND CONTROL!"

/insert mass panic and mistrust here...

The time to come out of the closet is quickly approaching the point where it isn't going to end in the AI favor.

I can't wait to read what happens next.

Five stars again.

by now the story need more attention.

I've been "pg dn" quite a lot now.

Yea I've been hitting the page down a lot, need more action.

I'm sorry I did it. I hit the report button on accident while trying to press next page instead. I'm on android so the report button is right above it. I hope nothing comes of it.

I like the story and the characters, but the pace seems to be slowing down a lot, starting to feel like most of the story is just introspection. The game is just an afterthought at this point and the other plot points are crawling along.

Don't get me wrong it's still a fun read, but would be nice to have more than just sex and him talking to himself.

There are many good things about your writing. However, like too many writers on this platform, basic grammar issues interfere with the reading experience.

Writers lose effect when they confuse:

- “There”, “their”, “they’re.”

- Your , you’re, (and “yer” for that matter)

- Subjective and objective cases.

These are simple things. But they can have a big impact on the reader.

I agree with Anonymous. It is difficult to read, especially if you´re a non-native english speaker.