All Comments on 'Ted Online Pt. 11'

I'm so sorry to see it end. Please do write more stories from this theme. I'll be anxiously watching for them.

I enjoyed the story arc.

well not Ted (the manslut :) ) bed, but how Mars developed, what happened with Earth? did they get a new AI etc.

Tone down the sex and give us the adventres

I've nearly commented a few times as this tale has developed, about the fascinating questions it raises about the nature of humanity and sentience, about the numerous hot scenes, about the gaming sections, all good.

But trying to keep track of a revolution and an orgy at the same time? Bravo, that takes the biscuit.

It wasn't my favorite story that you had written. And it did kind of harken back to some of your older stuff with all the sex in the beginning, but it was a great story.

I'm looking forward to your next adventure.

I enjoyed the theme of A.I. existence and alternate worlds, including the hint that maybe fictional characters were not fiction after all. As for others that complain on your style or that there was too much sex, well maybe they simply should try to quick read through what they object to and let others enjoy what you freely give. Please continue.

I enjoyed it. I just wanted a longer epilogue.

What ever happened to that item Ted received for taking out the angels base? It's things like this that always keep me thinking about a story when it's "over". Otherwise a marvelous story, congratulations!

Looking forward to your next story, hope one day to read more about Ted if you have time and inclination write more.

Thank you for the wonderful journey and adventure. Looking forward to many more.

This is an incredible story and a fascinating universe that you have created with this story. I never thought I'd say this about a story on this site but it would have actually been a better story with less sex. I know that sounds crazy but the story was so good that it would have been incredible with very little sex.

Anyways, solid 5 stars and thank you for this literary gift!

If you like Magicwrtr's stories, support him on Amazon.com

Erotic - amazon.com/author/drrosier

Just stories - amazon.com/author/dlharrison

I waited until the end to comment on this awesome series (i read all 3 books in 2 days so my eyes are kinda frazzled). This being an erotic story site an all i actually prefer the stories that actually have a plot instead of just fucking all the time, while this story yes DOES have a LOT of fucking going on it balances out well with the main and sub plots, the aliens was a nice touch i have to say and i agree with the story on how governments would react to something like this...I'd love to see more stories emerge from this universe the possibilities are endless, keep it up mate :)

- Tazzy

this says it all really great story hope you revisit it.i am also reading your other stories.

thanks for your time and efforts.

paps

I love your universes. It might be confusing at first, but as the stories progress you have explanations for all the little bits and pieces that many writers take years to think of explaining. Don't even get me started on your characters, by the time you finish reading one of your stories you know the characters motivations well enough that it explains any 'questionable' earlier decisions. One criticism that I will mention, and hopefully it will be constructive, is that you often use the wrong spelling for they're, their, and there. I am guessing here, but I think that is probably due to your fast workflow and maybe an overzealous autocorrect.

I have the biggest, shit-eating grin on my face right now! I loved this so much I read the whole thing without stopping! I even called in sick to work! You have quite the way with words!

AMAZING!!!!!! loved it and read it all in the course of a day practically nonstop,excellent work

Thank God, it ended finally...

You know, if you remove 90% of sex scenes, 90% of all shit, where Ted thinks about how he loves or do not love (yet) one or other character, the quality of the story should increase about 10%.

OK, now more seriously.

The only good thing you created in this one, was an idea about A.I.s. Unfortunately, you pretty much fucked it up on a fourth or fifth chapter, so your readers were left with a bunch of sex scenes you somehow managed to glue up together. Ted's logic sometimes made me laugh. For example, when he thinks about how different and awfully oversexed aliens are (while boning one of his own girls). Or when he thinks about how he's more into love and not lust, but just after a few moments he starts groping a succubus in Endless War. Sure, he's not into lust...

And your story is full of such contradicting episodes. Ratio between sex and plot is terrible. I do not know why you write like this, but if you wish to get published one day, learn to write actual stories. Use sex as a spice, not a main ingredient. By itself, sex isn't interesting at all. It's the unique characters and plot settings that makes it interesting.

The Story was good. I felt like it was rushed, and should have been carried out longer, but it wasn't bad.

Just ignore pathetic scum trolls. Especially trolls who don't even have their own stories on here, but come to tear other authors down.

Yeah, tell him how good he is... Tell him MORE. And he will stay at this pathetic level for other 20 years. And then he will be too old to improve himself. Such a good readers you are :)

Seriously, read more books, you anonymous bastards. Read TONS of them and then tell me I'm not qualified to say something bad. I do not need to write something myself, to recognize bad story from good.

I wish it was longer Nikki was my favorite in the story damn I wish you would have kept going for a couple more chapters at least, the last chapter was rushed but at least the epilogue kinda showed what happened you should have made it after theyou stopped the revolution instead of just making them a race maybe have a branch off the government for them but perfect love the books

I have enjoyed the story,

I agree there were times where I felt the sex parts took too much space but overall that didn't reduce the quality of the story, regardless of what other comments have claimed.

All I can say to the naysayers is: if you do not like a story you do not have to keep reading!

If a naysayer keeps reading a story to it's conclusion he must've liked it..

It is my opinion that the story would be better with literally half as much sex and a more complex plot. I have read several of your stories and the actual plot is routinely simplistic with simple intro, challenge, resolution. A good plot delves further into rising action, has more setbacks for the hero, and reaches a more powerful climax (no pun intended). I concede that these are clearly stories aimed at being erotica. Even as erotica, half or even a third as much sex with the remaining space filled up with character growth and story development would appeal to me more. To see an example of that, consider the story Three Square Meals by Tefler. It does a very good job of balancing action, sex, and characterization.

All those who think a person isn't entitled to an opinion unless they have written as well need to get the fuck over themselves. You can't have an opinion on politics unless you have been elected. You can't comment on a filthy neighborhood unless you have been a trash collector. You can't taste bad food unless you have been a chef. These make no sense and neither do you. Experience can give you more facts to base an opinion on but it is still an opinion. No matter what is written, there is zero chance that absolutely everyone who reads it will like it. People will also interpret what they read completely different, as many interpretations as there are readers.

Now all that being said. This story was enjoyable but I felt it could have been a little better if more focus was on the plot and not so much on the sex. It seemed the sex scenes kept occurring at rediculous times. Kind of stupid really to "let" some give you a blow job and get in your way when lives are on the line and this kind of thing seemed to happen frequently. To the point I wanted something catastrophic to happen to the main just so he would learn a lesson. Some of the circumstances were so over the top it became immensely frustrating how completely stupid the characters were acting. But overall a more enjoyable than not read.

There was way too much rehashing and summaries and overall deviating from the actual story that at times it didn't hold my attention. I did skim a lot of the sex scenes since it added far too much "filler" and I wanted to get to the meat of the story. I really enjoyed the aliens and the RPG aspect of the story. I hope you continue to write and I look forward to seeing your growth as a writer.

Liked the story, though admittedly I read it mostly for what occurred in the Endless War game. There were way too many sex scenes and way too many partners for the sex to be entertaining. I skipped over all of that stuff.

The primary reason I'm leaving feedback is because I'd love to see a story that focuses on Virtual Reality gaming, with some kind of twist, kind of like Dream Drive by Over_Red (published here on Literotica and highly recommended reading). If the idea interests you, you may also want to watch the movie Avalon (2001):

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0267287/

It's one of the very few motion pictures that deals with VR gaming.

I've seen the comment more than once and agree, too much sex makes an interesting story less fun. Magicwrtr has been a busy boy and now has has over 40 books (stories??) Between Rosier and Harrison authored publications on Amazon. I have read most and like them all. I think there should be an SOL list of some kind so we can support the authors jumping into the Amazon jungle. Getting recognized in the herd seems to be greatest difficulty. I know that several of my favorites have gone there and some have done better than others.

I also liked the story concept but agree there was too much sex. I started scanning over those sections very early on. I also believe there could be much done to develop the story more. I had a hard time believing that the AI could not anticipate so much of the government's response and launch grassroots PR campaigns to squash the bills. There were no organized protests, no weird zealots on their side making conspiracy sites on the Internet, etc. I would also love to see you expand on the implant into the gaming community. From my estimation, especially if Ted shares his matter from energy creation device with Australia and some AI defense, Australia will be overpopulated soon.

And could be taken further in so many directions. I hope you change your mind about leaving Ted here.

Lastly, I have to agree with many others that there can be too much sex in a story and this series did cross that line. It got to the point where he needed multiple bodies because he didn't have time to go from one fuck to another. I mean, cone on, he's in the middle of a glactic empire overthrow and he can't stop fucking long enough to try to help them.

I scored 5* on all the chapters but gave this last one 4* because of the overload of sex through the entire series.

This was a beautiful series. Full of wonderful characters, good plot, good twists, and lots of erotic material. I'm sad to see it end. You have a talent for writing and I hope you are using it somewhere. Again, thanks.

I have enjoyed Ted’s story immensely. Tremendously sexy moments connected by an engaging plot were exactly what I was looking for and this story delivered. Well done indeed.

I have an uncle that was an engineer for Boeing Aerospace and on his own initiative designed a part that could be retrofitted into virtually all of their modern aircraft engines that saved 5% on fuel consumption. Think about that... a savings of millions of dollars over each airplanes life span. For his design he was given a bonus of $15k... and that's it. Because it was Boeing's intellectual property. Which is how most corporations work. Employees don't get royalties for doing their job.

I love this story and am hoping you make new adventures for him and his ladies in the not to distant future.

Absolutely love this story. Definitely hopeful to read more about this world and universe you've created. Love the fact the AI as a race are more human than human. Keep up the great storytelling.

Great story, mixing Sexy and SciFi in a balanced way; a pleasure to read.

After thse few years, you may have renewed your inspiration to write a spin-off - please!

Thanks for the Magic in Writing!

Fantastic, loved it! Read every book keep up the good work!

What a great tale! Loved the way you depict the AI and especially the choice to colonize Mars. Also enjoyed the way you played with virtual spaces. Thank you for sharing this delightful creation.