All Comments on 'Thank You Ronnie Milsap'

Ugh. Always the happy ending with a slice of forgiveness. That's how you know its fiction.

It is fiction, and thank Christ we get a happy ending now and then. Fantastic story, adevilru12!

Let's see Jim lives in Long Island, NY with a wife and two kids and makes $38 Grand a year. The NYC sanitation workers make $68 Grand a year....get real...know your subject

... though from page 3 through 5 it was severely flawed. If you're going to tell the tale from two perspectives I would suggest holding back details from one perspective and presenting them from the other. Otherwise you're literally reading the same story told twice. VERY boring. You did do this a little, but large swaths of dialog was essentially restated. Even worse, you had just enough new detail as to make it difficult to scan-read, but not enough to make it enjoyable to consume at a normal pace either.

Keep up the writing. A massive improvement from your first submission and far better then most.

but his visions are proven with his songs, TK U MLJ LV NV

For me, it the story answered the big question in relationships, are you smarter than your partner or spouse? Here the answer is no. I found it hard to understand why, if Jim had very little value financially, only sex, then why put risk into it? Of course I thought perhaps the intense feeling of sexual pleasure of sneaking around, 6 months, and nothing, well, I wonder what inspired this story, not just the song, but real life. What took me by surprise, how the TSA agent caught on and she did not need 6 months or a song. Too bad, I know divorce laws in New York are brutal and more so for cheaters. I am sure Jeff really could have put the hurt on Jim financially through the courts. I am also sure Loren got almost nothing, a house rental? All Loren can do is come to a BBQ and watch Nina walk with a man worth a fortune now. I can understand why she was alone at the party.

Good but a bit simplistic. Loren was such a selfish bitch she clearly didn't love anyone but herself, and never would. To forgive her is a waste of time. What she did was simply part of her character. If her husband had faced the truth about her long ago, he wouldn't have gone through that mess. To associate with her and her mother after the divorce is nothing but a painful reminder of a slut daughter and a doofas husband who never really knew what he was marrying. Normal people would not do this. If they were foolish enough to do this, they would have to be crazy to try to force their son into a surprise meeting with the selfish slut. He should have been polite, said hello to everyone and then departed. On his way out he should have told his father that he fucked up, and that if he and his mother wanted to have anything to do with their grandchild in the future, they had better not pull that shit again.

Looking forward to you next one

I went to page 6 from page 1 when Jeff initially makes up with Loren so his bud can have sex. APOLOGIZE to Loren? At least THRRE things to not like there. First, his bud needs to grow a pair. Apologize? Not in this life time. Third, what IDIOT would take Loren back after what she did? And this guy is a Wharton grad?

I guess you never heard the expression "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME." My preference is not to read about the life and times of IDIOTS.

Even on page 6, he's still a wimp and thus a longshot for bank prez in real life.

What he should have told Jim's wife is that Jimbo should just resign himself to move out of the area and that Jimbo is simply getting what he deserves and that if they need more money, Jimbo can work LONGER hours.

OR that she could do with him (Jeff) what Jim did to Jeff's wife and even the score that way. Her choice. But whatever, F*CK the phone call crap!

And then Nina tells Jeff how Loren, THE EX, is in such a "fragile" state??

Nina must TRULY be a living saint as no woman I have ever met would have given a flying f*ck about Jeff's ex, not to mention wanting Jeff to "make up" with Loren and then possibly dump her (Nina).

And Jeff's PARENTS invite Loren and the ex-MIL to the BBQ??

They do this KNOWING what Loren did to Jeff?? LOVELY parents.

YUCK and DOUBLE YUCK!

You are not alone in doing it but I can't understand the need to tell the same story twice.

The first part of Loren's tale was just a repeat of what we'd already read, all the same conversations with very little added. IMHO it would have been better to start that part at the point where Jeff's phone calls stopped

Could have been shorter. The whole recap of Loren's perspective didn't offer enough new information to be warranted.

This is just personal preference but I'd have rather he held a grudge and forced Jim to suicide and refuse to ever see or talk to Loren ever again.

I like what DeYaKen suggests, it would have been a smoother transition that way. Nice story overall. I didn't really like the epilogue but not for expected reasons. It seemed rushed and forced which most epilogues do. Wrapping things up with a nice little bow to force the conclusion takes away from the effort it took to make the package.

For the most recent anondiot, maybe if you would have not skipped that many pages of the story you would not have made as many mistakes or assumptions in your comment. Thank you for writing though, it made it quite clear just what a complete moron you are.

Sorry, another anonymous slipped in while I wrote my comment. "Didn't like it much" was deserving of my rant. But I can assume readers could have guessed that.

I for one liked the recap from Loren's perspective. And forgiveness, absolutely! This would be a terrible world with out it.

very popular on LW. It was almost boilerplate. Just fill in the names and a few details, like "voice activated" or "parabolic microphone". We've all read this basic story a hundred times, and it still works when done well. That said, you really, really need more help with punctuation and dialogue. The wife repeating the same story detracted from the whole thing. I always wonder why writers feel the need to describe their dating ritual when it has nothing to do with the story. I realize you wanted to show how she shit all over him once before they were married, which would make one wonder why they were married. You are improving in leaps and bounds, so keep on writing!

a fitting end for a piece of trash

The editing made the finished product much better.

I will leave the other comments stand as I agree with a lot of them, both good and bad.

Typical, but thats a good thing. Keep it up please.

Loren should have been made to suffer more for being a whore!

i was waiting for peter pan to show up from the comments to the story, a fantasy and a bunch of foolishness when she said what he makes was her reason for staying marriage it showed a shallow character who no one in their right mind would take back and everyone loved it, people don/t act that way where i'm from and i am happy about that.

I LIKE YOUR STYLE,PLEASE SUBMIT MORE

Thanks for sharing.

You are improving, keep after it! The repetitive dialog from Loren detracts from the story and causes the reader to start skimming. A cheating wife story such as this needs a harder edge to be believable. The "nice ending" for Jim's family and Loren just doesn't work well. Life goes on, but real people, especially rich ones, hold grudges. Thanks for writing, I look forward to your next story!

Great job, overall. The male character was pretty much a wimp through out the plot. The cheating ex got off way to light as usual but you finished it with a happy ending.

I've really enjoyed both your stories! Keep it up, you are improving, of that there is no doubt.

For a guy working a real job, trailing a cheating spouse may be in the cards. For a guy who makes money at an unreal rate, a PI is in order. The truth is that many of these self investigations should end up with the investigator-spouse stepping all over him/herself. 4*

I liked the story. I like it when things work out as expected, as they should.

The wife's POV really detracted from the tale. It's one thing to offer a different POV when the reader has not already been told a story. For the different POV to work, there needs to be A LOT more added. In this case, it was just a retelling.

As far as the wife's story goes, it was never clear why she cheated. Yes, there was a trite explanation: the guy was a hunk. But, to be a hunk, don't you have to actually have more than a body as a redeeming quality? He seemed boring and unskilled as a womanizer. And, really, he makes 35K but is offered a 9-day trip to South Beach?? Shit, I make 3 times that amount and my company wouldn't do that.

In all, I was left a little dead by the tale: his intuition and a country song told him his wife was cheating. Heck, you didn't even tell us the lyrics. And for all the wife's POV, we know as little into her motives and feelings as if she hadn't taken up 2+ pages of ink.

On the bright side, I did make it through the story and appreciate that the wife and the husband got what they deserved.

I thought The Gift was decent, and this was actually pretty good. I agree with the comments about unnecessary repetition with Loren's side of the tale, though.

Working with an editor was a good idea. I noticed they missed some small issues with quotation marks, but the most glaring error (in my opinion) was in Loren's remembering the man with the Mets cap in the restaurant. Wasn't he specifically wearing a Yankee cap as part of his disguise because he was a Mets fan? Not really a big deal, but that part stuck out to me.

Thank you for the good story, and I hope that you continue writing.

Cog

Enjoyed the story, ut the re-hash was too much.......Looking forward to more

Beginning was very good, but the quality started to decrease when it came to loren's pov. Seemed like you had thought of a nice start but didn't know where to go from there.

Never did like the cheating wife that thinks no one is ever going to get hurt. You could have left her version of the story out. It seemed repetitive and didn't add anything to the overall story. Good effort. Looking forward to the next one.

It was considerate of you to use an editor/proofreader. Both for the sake of your writing as well as readers. There have been many authors for whom American English is not their native tongue and they have plunged onward much to the disgust of the readers. As a result, of course, poor story numbers. This was good reading. Jeff was a wimp too many years, however. To each his own. Cheers!

Happy to say I've read everything you've written, another good one!

you are 2 for 2,,,hope you keep up the fine writing streak

You did a good job writing this and holding it together. Keep writing.

Pretty standard story, but well done.

You lost me for a bit in Loren's section when you repeated great swaths of dialogue. I think just reminding the reader of what was said and then further exploring her mindset at the moment would have worked better to round out her character. There's so much more you could have done with her instead of repeating dialogue.

And try and leave the big dick lover stereotype behind. Loren was bored, she wasn't a size queen. Jim wasn't a better lover because he was bigger.

I also found Jeff marrying a VS model a bit much. Just like a big dick is overused, so too is the idea that you only win when you trade up. Jeff, I think, would have been happy with a woman who simply loved and respected him.

Still, I enjoyed reading this. A solid 4.

Very good reading. I like the use of the "he said / she said" and then summarizing it up. I also like how you brought out the humanity of Jeff, both the "harsh" (for lack of a better word at the moment) and the tenderness. By showing us the time after (concluding with the top down...) was nice way to summarize it! Thank you!

Just two suggestions. Several times we see "Lauren" and then "Loren". It can confuse simple minds like me...smiles. The second is while providing Loren's views, it's much like re-reading Jeff's. It might be beneficial to use her view to provide either more facts/details, or, further elaboration on the ones that Jess had already provided. It makes that second view more valuable and worth reading. I think of it as two people offering their own versions of the same accident...together, we get the whole story.

By the way, thank you for reminding of a principle on women. It hit me that When she did ride with both his and her tops down...that she was like another country singer's song, "but when she gets behind closed doors" (Charlie RIch's). It's after they have their social obligations... That was nice (meaningful to me...).

Looking for your next submissions

First ... Totally agree with 17 comments about 2 PoVs to tell the SAME story. Insults the reader! Second: Beaucoup good comments - take heed!

New (I think): To make millions on money exchange rates, a financial institution would have to be exposing, not millions but hundreds of millions of dollars! There are few currencies which fluctuate by more than a fractional percentage a day - and most of those that do, do NOT have very much currency in play.

My Sweetie gets intrigued by a big prong? That would reflect on her interest! I would NOT be delighted, but I could forgive her as we sat down to agree to divorce terms. My Sweetie refers to me as 'Doofus' to her lover? That is massive disrespect aimed towards ME (yet again!) Much worse! Never TALK to her again (unless kids involved, then ONLY on issues about them, and through other parties when feasible!). An extension of 'en vino, veritas!' Yeah, someone else may see respect in her reference to Hubby's work future, but I couldn't see past the disrespect in her opening comment! Disrespectful enough that they were swapping 'marital woe' stories instead of resolving those issues with their own spouse.

Check the ballcap. Hubby is a Mets fan. Buys a Yankee cap because Sweetie would never believe he'd wear it! Then he DOESN'T! Gotta support those Mets! No wonder Sweetie looked at him TWICE in the hotel breakfast cafe!

----most of it, but there two pages too many and that epilogue was over the top and took most of the reality out of the tale. I really did not feel that his getting married to her after his first experience with her made any sense. 4 stars only.

very erotic story. what's the name of the page we are here all together ? horror house dot com ?

The story was wonderful. The writing was great, not too dry or flowery. I loved this story and I have no significant suggestions that would make it better! It is great as it is. Thank you.

Interesting and compelling.

I am looking forward to your next story.

This was truly excellent! Looking forward to your next story.

Repeating everything was pointless. And the ending with the Victoria's Secret model wife and 10 car garage is ridiculous.

Great story, but Ronnie Milsap stands among the worst crap ever.

The story is dragged on for too long. Repeating the cheating weekend from the wifes view does not make the story any better.

Smokey Mountain Rain to the A-HOLE who hates Ronnie M. How do you like 38 Special. The story was good but, too long.

Only one thing missing. You mention the 10 car garage and the Victoria Secret model wife, but you forgot to mention Jeff was a Navy Seal with a 10 inch black cock. Or maybe it was obvious to everyone but me.

The thing that gets me is, why destroy the man? His wife was the one that cheated, why keep taking it out on him, when she is the one you married. He divorced her and that was that, the man. He hires a PI to follow him around, and fuck up his career and lively hood. Yet you do nothing to "her". She cheated and that was it.

Gave it a 4.

I would have like to have read what her thinking was back at the high school dance, that whole thing from her perspective. You did pretty much everything else.

He was an idiot for ever getting back with her after she did that. That was calculated to be hurtful, not just a breakup.

This story is a fucking jike right? oh my god... I am laughing so hard at this turd of a story i got go pee.....

I thought this was a good story, well written, you are improving as a writer. Thank you.

Sounds like he got it right the second time. Reading the comments, HDK is probably correct in his assessment. Author captured angst of being dumped and then being cheated upon very well. Good story.

As so many others have said, the Wife's POV added nothing to the story and just dragged it out. Hubby having anything to do with Loren never mind how quickly they patched things up and then getting married, after the callous shit she pulled on him at the dance was pretty far fetched. In both your stories so far, while very well written, the male leads have had zero fucking self respect.

His parent's having Loren and her mother at the barbecue was just bullshit tho. After the shit Loren pulled on him at the dance and then cheating on him during their marriage, the parent's must be utter piece's of shit to have allowed the tramp back into his and their lives. It just wouldn't happen with any sort of normal family.

I agree,the recap of loren's side did little for the story.I think it could be great to try and see why loren was such a bitch to him,why she could do that to him.Jim is a liser,big cock or not,and there is little reason for loren to even want to be with.him (btw,38k a year on long Island is chicken feed,in reality,would be 65k,plus the getaway makes no sense.I agree that the end is over the top,the whole supermodel/head of company is out there,Having him married and doing well is fine,but that is different than the ending. Loren's tory might have made a better epilog,to see why she could be so cruel when it seems like you believe she loved jeff..everything in the story seemed to say she was a shallow,gold digging bitch using him,so why?And why with someone who is a nothing? You have potential,you just need to get to why people do what they did,your writing isn't bad.

I hope to see you continue writing. Loren was a self centered person who. Only thought of her own. Pleasure. Jeff was a fool, burnt once he never should have gone back with Loren to be burnt again. The salary Jim Beckmann made was to low , you cannot live in Long Island with less than @ 125k. 38 k you are in poverty , you left a 1 out before the 38 k.

As Stated earlier, wife's POV at closing should have been expanded and greater detail given to her 2nd marriage with 'Billy Barber' (Extend the Pain of the BTB novella)

BTW: Currency Trading is known as Arbitrage and is practiced by ALL MAJOR Financial institutions, not just Banks…

You pulled me in and I couldn't let go! lol

I dislike country songs. So I start reading with an attitude . I know this 2nd story

is going to be a big dropoff from your 1st. Well, this man is glad he was mistaken.

By the middle of page1 ,attitude forgotten and interest captured !!

I enjoyed it very much ! You improved the technical writing aspects( watch out grammar Nazis). All the actors were well fleshed out. No dumbing down nor

one note characters..And the plot moved briskly, wow. Another 4* effort.

Well, this time I'm not the first to comment.I am glad to say I am looking forward

to the next story as

AMerryMan

Excellent second story. Your writing pulls your reader emotionally into your tales making you one of my favorite story tellers. I thought he was nuts for marrying her in the first place but it made a hell of a good cheating wife story.

Would have been five stars but the cut and paste dialogue was a major annoyance. When Loren rehashed the events it was word for word what was stated earlier. You must of clearly cut and paste. Bad move. No need to do that when writing. I just read it, don't need to Reread it. Summarize, add new details, something to further the plot, but never repeat verbatim. Imagine if you went to a movie and they replayed the exact same scene. Your writing is excellent. The plot was engaging and your resolution impeccable. Four stars, but I look forward to reading more of your work.

Thanks for sharing.

Telling the audience how much and how many times you cry over a girl is just not a very good way to start a story.

I got over the repeated dialogue (her story) by just scanning past to the new storyline, but then got to the epilogue - which really looked rushed. Yes, we expect the hero to do well, but a 10 car garage (3-4 would have sufficed) and a Victoria's Secret model (a 'normal' hot Romanian orphan would have been a stretch enough)?!

Still, overall a good, formula following story.

is portrayed to be a wimpy crier.

ruined otherwise very good tale .

3***

keep posting.

You improved, made it up a notch with this story.

I read and understood enough comments to realize that others, they see it too.

Great story & writing. You even received many many comments from anon readers who may have read it but again beware of the shit from anonymous assholes...

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

X

I didn't like the repeat.....and Jim her boss and lover made $38K per year - too low...and a 10 car garage - too high. Less excesses would make it more believable.

However it was a very good story...I liked it better than the Gift which was also very good. It would be nice if you wrote a little more often than once a year!

but still liked it.

Thank you for a very enjoyable read.

* * * * B T B BRIGADES

I enjoyed this tale.

While she sort of got what she deserved in the end, for me it could never have gotten that far.

I do like Jeff, except for one thing; when it comes to women he is obviously mentally deficient. He obviously has an image in his head of what a woman should be, and then measures everything by that.

But there is one truth that cannot be altered. If YOU are involved in some deception against another and it is brought to light, everyone is the same: you DO JUST WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF DOING!

So.. if you care about how others feel, then your actions will include them. If you are just there for your own selfish reason, you do just whatever you want.

The slut did that at the very start. She actually did him a favor by showing that she was a selfish whore who would even betray someone who was at least meant to be a friend, back at the dance. Anybody with their eyes open would have cut the whore loose then and there forever, and laughed at her if he ever saw her again. Instead, he married her. So... hahahah! He got what he eventually deserved.

The reality of it is that Nina has probably been trained by the old bank boss on the cuck's history, and is helping to hide it better, so he can have a top-notch bank exec, keep him happy, and have the cuck's young sexy wife drop her top for him too and send her home so she can feed him sloppy seconds.

And I don't know how the slut's mom can think that it SHOULD have been her grandson... unless she thought her daughter was gonna be bred by the bank boss too.

what a great story. enjoyed it very much. loved the ending, why do people love hurting each other is beyond me.

with a five, but...

HDK is right there were unnecessary errors even spell-check would have picked up. I thought the portion where Loren did a rehash also was irrelevant. And also, though it's boilerplate, a good story is a good story. How many ways can you slice infidelity?

I disagreed with HDK about the dating thing. In fact I'm in the middle of something where the courtship is singularly important.

Please continue to write, but don't...End a story with gun play, a blimp, a neon sign, a blow up doll, or anything preposterous. We've got Stang et.al. for that. Please also, no Mustangs unless they're real horses. Alas consider a story where there's some reconciliation. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for some Jeff-Loren reconciliation, certainly with a counselor. I know there are many who only want Loren to burn, but hadn't she seen the light? I think it would have been great to hear her remorse. To be sure there'd only been the singular infidelity with Jim. The dance thing was high school shit and didn't matter. The Jim thing was certainly awful, but Jeff was strong; he might have been able to...well

... why re-date (and then marry!?) a cold-hearted bitch who knew she was humiliating and inflicting pain upon her shocked (now ex) BF in one the worst ways possible. This is a betrayal which cannot be forgotten by any man (aside from MM and his cuck following) and if she was truly remorseful desperate to make amends, it would take major promises and sacrifices on behalf of the bitch to make assurances such behaviour would never ever be repeated. Otherwise, a willing sap is worth being called a "doofus!"

The way Jeff described his MIL suggested a revenge fuck was in order but it was not so. It seems a cushy job and a future promotion was not good enough to dissuade Jeff from hiring a PI who would almost definitely do a more meticulous job than his questionable 'rent-a-spy' approach. I mean he was so unprepared, he had to got to a spy store, whilst on stakeout duties, just so he could get audio. This little nugget bothered me.

I'm pretty certain his divorce would not have been that simple. I'd even go as far as assuming Loren could have raped Jeff when push came to shove because his prospective future was the gravy train which kept her from abandoning him.

When a women commits to an adulterous-laden vacation, there is no way she will have any regrets about what she's temporarily leaving behind. She went on the trip knowing she was having extra-marital sex and it is reasonable to believe she would enjoy it, despite the domestic interruptions. The little episodes of regret interspersed from Loren's POV were uncharacteristic and therefore implausible.

2*

This story may not be perfect (in my eyes), but it comes close. You wrote a good tale about a marriage falling apart and concentrate on the most emotional parts. Yes there are many other stories out there that glory in the pain of the aftermath - I'm sure you've read plenty BTB stories yourself - and they're perfect if you're in the right mood.

I value this story a lot more for purposefully not going there however. By that I mean both the BTB sentiment but also the drawn out tale of the divorce in progress. Instead you stopped at the most appropriate point when it was clear that the marriage had no chance and put an epilogue at the end to resolve what needed resolving.

Thanks for this great story! I'm so surprised that you didn't get a hot-rating of 4.50+ for this story.

Just like your previous story. Keep up the good work.

it was a good tale. the only thing I did not care for was the ex repeating

almost everything you already told. it was like reading it twice and did

nothing but make the tale longer but not. better.

Liked it a lot; the editor didn't catch a couple of times where Jim was mentioned when I think you meant Jeff. I agree with the comment about re-hashing the events from the woman's POV. Please keep writing; you come up with good plots.

Somebody please help me out. What is it with these fucking cheating cunts? They're only sorry when they are caught and their words are "Give me a chance to make it up to you." How can she possibly do that? Fucking cunt. I'm glad our hero found happiness and success with a good woman and a great job. I'm also glad that the cheating cunt wife realized that she made the worst mistake of her life.

If these women would just stop thinking with their pussies they might live a good life. Fucking cunt. All cheaters should suffer.

I love the song, by the way. I would have given you a five but you were still a pussy with your ex.....fuck her worse than Beckman.The slut totally earned it.

An excellent sad tale which I think conveyed the emotional pain felt by the wife's cheating period.

The switch from male to female POV work very well.

I would say to any recovering from a break up / divorce. The best revenge is to have a good life and show them what they have missed out on, not what a loser they believe you may be.

LW stories seem to have problems with authors explaining male emotional pain. It's either sobbing, with copious flowing tears, or blinding anger. Actually this hubby was fairly well controlled by the author, but still the expressions seemed to go on and on.

Thanks and please write more

to be cheated on in the marriage. Any loser that takes back a slut that uses him and dumps and humiliates him deserves everything he gets. She was always a cheating cunt, and deserved to die from Aids. He was a loser. Any guy that gets fixated on a woman that he KNOWS is a decietful slut and still marries her, deserves the inevitable. No likeable characters in this one.

Congrats, adevilru12 for your clever writing of the classical repetitious LW story.

That your efforts to trick the annoyingmousies and other BTB lynchmob trolls for the spelunkers they are.

A few of the less stupid ones wrote comments that hint at their dim realization that they are making a mockery of their own sexual confusion.

Just gender reverse the character's conversations and it becomes obvious that these trolls are exposing their own lack of personality and perspicuity.

that's the way life goes, I was surprised at how long it took it wife to figure something was amiss

While my gut feeling was that it was Grace, particularly after she obviously gave Janice her contact info for Tom, it seemed odd that neither Lisa nor Rose commented on who his date was.

Sheesh, get a life!

I am far from a RAAC, if anything I tend towards BTB, but if you really believe that holding a 17-year-old girl's actions from 5-6 years ago makes sense, then you are a sad, sad individual.

Some people learn from bad things they have done, for others it is just bad character. I would take a wait and see attitude, if the person continues then you remove them from your life.

If you had condensed the last two chapters, you would have had a sure fire 5+ rating from me. I was so enthralled with your writing until it went to long and got disorganized some. A solid 5 for chapters 1 through 4. then a disappointing 2 for the last.

He would have been totally committed and in love with her even at seventeen.

She was still plenty old enough to rip his heart out and humiliate him,in fact in the teens humiliation is even worse than it is later in life.

He forgave her but it's not something you forget,rather it's something that would come back as if it were yesterday if it happened again.

... CUCK/WIMP SHIT ENDING!!!

5 years on ,

ex is a wreck

the other guy is broke & has to get his own wife to beg for him.

good ole jeff , is rich , got a supermodel wife , lovely baby son .

let it go , move on , grow up , be an adult ... don't poison yourself with continued hatred ...

only a real cuck/wimp/pussy ....

gets stuck in a negative Hate loop...

10 damn fucking pages?If Jeff would be real...he'd kick your ass royally!!This thing needs a follow up...atleast smething involving little jeff jr.PLZ DO SMETHIN BOUT IT!!!

A rebuttal to all the illiterate critics who hide behind the anonymous tag. Sign in to the web site then you can say anything about the author and their work. This story is well written with an excellent pace that ties everything up in a nice ending. Some of the characters could use more development. Such as his cheating wife, why did she suddenly become an exhibitionist? Just a though. Overall an excellent tale.

thanks for your work I really enjoyed this story

This was an excellent, well crafted story.

I can't find it within me to feel any sympathy for Loren.

She did what she did without any consideration for Jeff at all.

So please excuse me if I don't buy her crocodile tears confession at the end of the story.

Some men are forgiving. Sadly, I am no longer one of them.

Great story! Very well written with a excellent conclusion!

Thank you and please keep writing!

Good story, good ending nothing of forgiving cheat wife or the pathetic story of loving her fuck another man