The Bastard

I'd been living in the guest room since I came to stay with them, but I never slept there again after that night. We left that room as a guest room and never moved the bed out of Bill's room. I moved my clothes into Dad's room, and we made it look like I was the only one who slept there in case a relative visited.

Bill didn't know it, but Mona's father had left him a trust fund when he died, and Dad had managed it ever since Mona went into the coma. When Dad died, the emergency provision kicked in, and Bill was able to take it for himself. It wasn't huge, but it meant that he was able to finish college without working at the same time. That meant a lot more nights where we'd just come home like a normal couple.

When we were taking care of Dad, neither of us felt like we should take a night off to do anything fun. One night after Bill's last final in December, he suggested we go ice skating. I remembered the good times we'd had when Bill and I were kids, so I gladly went along. This town didn't have an ice rink. When the ice was thick enough, they roped off an area and put up loudspeakers and a hot chocolate stand. I could barely make it ten yards onto the ice without falling, but Bill was there to pick me up. After ten minutes, my knees were ready to go home. Then someone played a slow song on the loudspeakers. I got up to head for the beach, but I saw that Bill was waiting for me to join him. "Come on, Vic, all the other couples are giving it a try."

"Don't call me Vic," I said as I took his hand.

"Worried that someone'll know I have a sister named Victoria? Don't."

Bill pulled away too fast, and I fell. "It's not that," I explained as I got up again. "There was a creepy guy named Vic in a couple of my classes in high school." We only stayed for that song and one more.

On the way home, we passed a sporting goods store with a camping scene in the window. Bill noticed that the blanket looked like the one we'd brought on our one camping trip when we were kids. After dinner, he found it in the basement. He and Dad had planned a camping trip but cancelled it when Dad got sick. I suggested we watch a movie. Bill remembered a video that was part of a big lot we'd picked up one Saturday at a flea market. It was one of those fireplace videos, with a soundtrack of studio musicians covering romantic songs. He moved the TV in front of the fake fireplace for effect. We leaned against the couch and pretended we were in a cabin. Soon we were naked under the blanket. Bill was caressing every part of me, erogenous or not. I responded in kind, but I was too tired to do anything more than that.

Bill looked at me and said, "I know you. You have to be in serious pain if you can't screw. Why are you smiling like that?"

I was able to put my leg over his without wincing. "I like being naked under this blanket. It feels even more intimate than screwing."

He shook his head. "No, that's not it. I mean, you're not lying, but there's something else. Why are you so happy?"

"You called us a couple," I answered.

My next birthday was a Saturday. My mom was expecting me in the evening to celebrate, so Bill and I celebrated in the morning. I woke up feeling something on my pussy. It was Bill's tongue. He was licking all over the surface. "Morning, sweetheart!" he said. He licked my clit back and forth. Then he reached up to separate my pussy lips and inserted his tongue there.

"Give me a star," I told him. He ran his tongue around like he was drawing a five-point star and touched some spots that had been unattended for a while. I put my hand gently on the back of his head. He went in and sucked my pussy lips to the roof of his mouth. "Too bad you can't get my clit while you're doing that," I moaned. Without losing contact with my lips, he moved his mouth forward. His nose grazed my clit and his morning stubble tickled the lower part of my pussy. The three sensations were enough to put me over the top. "Oh, God! Shit! Gimme your cock!"

Bill swung around over me. He still had his pajama bottoms on. He was so hard that I didn't even try to get them down. I unsnapped the fly and pulled his dick out through the opening. I licked the underside and then the head, and then Bill let go of my pussy to beg me, "Take it! Take it!" I took his entire length into my mouth. He started bucking his hips, effectively doing all the work for both of us. His cock head felt like the best birthday present ever as it ran back and forth across my tongue, occasionally touching my cheeks. "Oh, God," he moaned. "I love you, Vicki. I'd do anything for you."

I let him out of my mouth and told him, "Then come for me! My pussy's not an option, but you can come for me right now." I took the head back into my mouth. He thrust his hips forward again. Because of the angle and still having pajamas on, he couldn't reach my throat, and I was fine with that. I could feel the first blast as soon as it came out, and I got to taste most of it before I swallowed it.

After Bill came in my mouth, he got off me. He kissed the side of my neck and moved up to my lips. I pulled him closer and kissed him harder. We ran our hands up and down each others' backs. He pushed me back and sucked on my nipples while he caressed my hip. He started fingering my pussy and I started stroking his cock. He sat up, and I followed suit. I tried to move closer, but his dick was in the way. When he looked down and saw how hard he was, he got up and put a condom on. I was still sitting up when he came back to the bed. Bill sat in front of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and let him move toward me. He moved slowly, and I could feel each inch of my inner flesh as he moved further inside me. "Make love to me," I told him.

"I do love you, Vicki," he said, pulling me up close.

"I love you, too," I assured him. We both started mashing our hips together. He took each of my hands in his and raised them up. That allowed him to kiss my neck, front, left and right. We got into an erotic tug-of-war where each of us was trying to lie back and get the other on top. After a long battle, I won. I could feel his balls slapping me with every thrust and soon I could feel his cock expand and contract as he came.

"That's a first for me," I told him.

"You've never done it sitting before?"

"I've never had birthday sex before. How 'bout you?"

"Only if you count the blow job you gave me last time."

"So you just went down on me 'cause you figured you owed me?"

"No, Vicki! I did it because I knew you'd like it, and I want you to have a good birthday."

"In that case, fuck me again. I'm the birthday girl!"

The entire conversation took place with him still on top of me and inside me. In a shared moment of weakness, neither of us thought to take off the old condom, let alone put on a new one. We were reminded of this when it came loose. Two loads must have been too much for that poor condom to take. Bill evidently felt his dick moving freely almost as soon as I felt his cum inside my pussy walls, because he cried, "Shit!"

"What?" I asked. I didn't really have to ask, because I was thinking about the same thing. "What are you afraid of?"

"I'm sorry," Bill said as he pulled out.

There was no condom on his dick. I rolled onto my back and ordered, "Get it out!"

Bill reached inside my cunt, felt around for the condom and pulled it out. It was not a sexy feeling, despite the motions involved. "Dammit. I wanted this to be your best birthday ever, not your worst!"

I moved to the side and pulled him down beside me. "Nothing you've ever done will make this a bad birthday." He stopped shaking. "I promise you." I was glad he didn't ask what I meant, because at that moment I was wondering where to get emergency contraception. Then he showed me my present. During the fall, we'd been raking leaves and he took a picture of us posing like "American Gothic". He blew that up to portrait size, and we hung it by the front door. I liked it so much that I dragged him into the bathroom, started the shower and told him to join me. We both undressed in a hurry. He ate my pussy again while I washed his hair. He turned me around and washed my back. The soap made it easier when he slid his cock into my ass. Just as I'd done with his blow job, he counted out my age as he thrust into me. Through either luck or very good self-control, he timed it so that he came just as he announced, "24!" This load of his cum was worry-free.

It wasn't my worst birthday, but it looked like it was going to be. My mom was unrelenting about my prospects for both marriage and work, and she wanted to know if I was applying everywhere or just locally. I assured her I wasn't limiting my options. I chuckled as I thought, "on either front." I was so upset that on the way home, I thought I'd actually like it if I were already pregnant just so I could flaunt it in front of her. I rushed home, planning to tell Bill what I wanted. The reader thinking ahead might wonder whether this was the exchange that opened my story. It's not. When I got through the door, I gave the game away. I started stripping my clothes off and told him, "Fuck my brains out. Please! I wanna wave my nine-month belly in my mom's face and tell her I'm having your welfare baby!"

He wouldn't go for it. "Not like this," he said. "You're too upset." Have I mentioned how wonderful my man is? And to think, I was this close to combining two kinds of sex into angry birthday sex. (I may still have that one day. You never know!) "And welfare baby? Really? We're doing better than that."

I laughed at myself. "I know. She'd just assume we were going on welfare because I'm not married, and that's about the worst thing I could do in her eyes."

Shortly after that, I went on the Pill. Happily, my doctor didn't pry. She asked if I was already sexually active, and when I said yes, she said to keep using a back-up for the first few months without asking anything about him.

On the anniversary of Dad's death, we went to the cemetery together. I told Dad, "You told us to take care of each other. I've done my best for Bill, and he's been wonderful to me." I didn't say anything about us being lovers. It wasn't because I was afraid there might be someone nearby who knew us. In my mind, I was trying to keep it a secret from him! When I was done, Bill started to say something, and then he got on his knees. I couldn't understand most of what he said because he was crying so hard, but I picked up on one thing I hadn't realized before: I was the only family Bill had left! At that moment I understood what a serious responsibility I'd undertaken.

Not long after, Bill was paying the utilities when he noticed that it had been exactly a year since the deed to the house had transferred to our names. Since it was the first public thing that had both our names in it, we started using it as our anniversary. Around our third "anniversary," my doctor wouldn't renew my birth control prescription because of an issue with my blood pressure. Ironically, the same condition made it inadvisable for me to get pregnant. She got me an IUD while we worked out the blood pressure issue. A year and a half later, my blood pressure was under control. I wanted to go back on the Pill, but my doctor wanted to test me for a few more months, so she took out the IUD, and we used condoms until it was safe.

By that time Bill had finished college and we were both working full time. I worked in an environment where everyone went by their first name, so no one knew that the person with the same last name that I'd listed as my emergency contact was my brother and not my husband. On our fifth anniversary, we had just finished making love when Bill told me, "When Dad died, we promised to take care of each other. We've been doing that for five years. Six, if you count the time we were taking care of him too. I intend to keep that going. I want to marry you, Vicki."

"You know that's impossible," I told him. "But if it makes you feel any better, if we could do it, I'd go with you to find a minister or a judge right now. I'd do anything for you."

"I want to tell everyone about you. I hate hiding it."

"Me too, honey. My mom is still dropping hints about finding at least a boyfriend. I haven't figured out how to tell her I've got one."

For Bill's next birthday, I gave him an envelope that bore the name of Dad's lawyer. He read the heading on the first page and asked, "Is this what I think it is?"

"A living will with all the bells and whistles. You get everything if I die. You can also decide whether to donate my organs. You can make medical decisions for me. You can manage my finances if I lose my mind."

"You did all this without waiting for me to do the same? That's confidence."

"Not really. I'm already the only family you have, so I'd have all those things by default. You just moved ahead of Mom in the order of succession. Oh, and by the way, donate anything they can use."

"So it really is like we're married."

"I can't claim your pension when you die, and they can make us testify against each other if we decide to start a life of crime. Other than that, yeah."

Around the same time, we went to a ball game. I'd had a beer, so I was slightly less inhibited. They announced the Kiss Cam, and Bill kissed me. When we found out we were on screen, I kissed him back harder. I thought about moving my tongue to make it look like I was sucking his dick, but instead I just opened my mouth and pulled him backward. The camera turned away just in time to let the viewers use their imaginations. (If they hadn't, the whole world would have seen Bill get to second base!) The club had added a new feature where the couple that fans liked the best won a prize, and we won! We're only casual fans, so we passed up the ticket package in favor of a jewelry gift certificate. We took that as a sign from God, or Dad, or someone up there. He remembered that one of his online acquaintances became a minister over the 'net, so we bought rings and exchanged vows without a license. I made it a point to take my ring off when I saw Mom.

Not long after that, it was Bill's turn to comfort me. Several of my friends had posted baby announcements. One of them was adopting. When your friends have given up on having kids, you're not supposed to be trying to avoid it. Bill asked me point-blank, "So do you want children?"

"Maybe," I said tearfully. "I've never had a chance to think about it because we always considered it a disaster if it would happen."

"Why would it be a disaster?" Bill asked. I could tell it was not a rhetorical question.

"Do I have to spell it out? People would know we've been having sex!"

"And then what?"

"They'd ... think we're weird. We'd be ostracized."

"That's it?"

I couldn't tell if he was really this dense or just pretending for the sake of discussion. "Isn't that enough?"

"I just ... Well, you might have been worried about whether we can afford a baby."

"I took a course on human sexuality once, and the professor said that if everyone waited till they could afford it to have kids, the human race would die out. We're doing fine."

"Or whether we'd be good parents."

"I've never doubted myself, and I think you'll be great, judging by what you're like as my husband."

"I don't have any other family. The only friends who know anything about my home life know you as my girlfriend, and they don't know your last name. That leaves your family. As far as I can tell, that means your mom and no one else, right?"

"Right."

"I'm not gonna do anything that would come between you and your mom."

"What about the past five years? You don't think that would come between us?"

"If she knew. What I mean is, having a baby would force it into the open, and I'm not going to do anything that would make that happen unless you decide it's what you want."

It got more complicated after that. For medical reasons, I couldn't take the Pill any more, so we went to condoms and not-vaginal. The condoms were a nuisance, but doing more sucking and ass-fucking were a nice consolation.

One night we were watching a movie about a mine that caved in back in the 70's, and two of the people that were trapped were a gay couple. Both of them survived. After the rescue, when there were dozens of TV and newspaper reporters around, one of them grabbed a mike and said, "I've learned that life is too short. I'm Larry. This"--he pulled the other guy in front of the camera with him--"is Greg. I love him with all my heart, and I want the world to know it. Give us your worst, world. We can take it!"

Bill turned to me and said, "We know how that feels, don't we?" I nodded in agreement.

The next day I told Bill I didn't want to go back on the Pill, and he was okay with it. The exchange that opened this story took place a few months later.

He slipped his naked cock inside me. It wasn't fully erect when he entered me, but he got it up in a hurry. He was thrusting with abandon. "Yes! Yes!" I cried. "Fill my womb! Get me pregnant!" He moved his hips, like he always does, and held me tight while he jostled my tits.

"You want me to make you a mommy, don't you?" he asked. I nodded. "You wanna have a little bastard, don't you?"

"Please don't say that," I said.

"I'm gonna come!" he yelled. "Are you ready?"

I nodded. He gave me one more thrust, and I yelled, "I was wrong! I was wrong!"

He was already coming inside me and he tried to pull out. "You picked a hell of a time to change your mind!"

I pulled him down face to face and then held his butt so he couldn't move backward. "That's not what I was wrong about. I said I don't care whether it happens, but I do care. I want it. I want us to make a baby!"

Bill kissed me and answered, "Then I want it to happen too." He tried to thrust his hips again, but by that point he'd already unloaded.

We lay together for the next few minutes. "Please don't say 'bastard,'" I told him.

"Why not?" Bill asked.

"Because the man I love more than anything is a bastard, and I can't stand to hear it used as an insult."

Once in a while, one of us would look down at our conjoined sexual organs and wonder, and the other would smile hopefully. For the next two weeks we fucked like teenagers until I got my period. We resumed trying as soon as we could, with a little help from a leaflet I picked up on charting your cycle.

Last night we went clothes shopping. The pants I'd put on in the morning were a little snug, but I was able to wear them for one more day. I caught my reflection in a glass window coming into work, and for the first time I saw a little bulge. I had Bill take my picture in front of the store sign, then standing next to a mannequin and finally modeling one of several shirts that I don't need yet. It's one of those interchangeable tops with the pleats just below the bust. The whole world can finally see our love in bloom!