by DreamCloud
A story of nine pages has to be good to keep my attention. This was not good it was excellent. Keep up the good work. Thanks.
This story sounds like it was written by someone acquainted with pain in ones soul.
Only technical issue was that the name "Bob" is used numerous times instead of "Wally" ... The context was clear which it was, but a little disconcerting nonetheless.
Very good story... I cant tell you the way this story has touched me.... as someone who suffers depression and has trouble seeing past the bad... you have a great thing going here... THANK YOU!!!!!
I don't usually comment or vote. I gave this story 5 stars and commented. It was worth the effort.
Read this with increasing interest,this was a great Story line. You should write for Hollywood I vote for J-lo as Mia
KUDOS! 5 Stars; again. So far I've read four of your story's, and your batting a 1,000. You have a new fan.
Best story I've have read in a long time. I had a hard time putting this down, had to read the whole story to the ending. This was a tremendously great story.
You have a real talent. Erotic Romance of the best. Thanks, and thanks to your editor too - excellent punctuation!
I don't often read the Erotic Coupling stories. Can't think why I started on this one, but it is superb! Thank you very much.
A little bit hurried in certain spots, and I agree with the others who said that it belonged in Romance.
Loved the finale
Not many stories get me out of lurk mode to comment on, but this story required a slow read and was worth the entire read. As your Dale character said before he met Mia read the whole story it may be worth it. This was beyond worth it
I agree this belongs in romance, too! I don't have words to describe this story, except wow!
This is certainly one of the best stories on this site. Thank you and may there be more where this came from.
I normally try to finish all the stories I start to read, just to see if there is any pearls of wisdom hidden within. I didn't have to try with this one. It led me through it very well. Great job! I will now go and read some of your other stories. Thanks.
This is absolutely the best story I've read here... Amazing, well done... Thank you for sharing it!
I truly enjoyed this story. The humor and tears, the serious moments and the fun all made for an entertaining story. Thanks for sharing.
Yes, I agree with all the others about this being the best story I've read here...enjoyed it thoroughly! I'm looking forward to reading more from DreamCloud!
This fairy tale has it all - 9 pages, though, but they went as a breeze, causing laughter and tears - and arousal. Extremely well written (- but Monica carrying that final envelope in her purse in a wedding that was a complete surprise...?)
Thanks for sharing!
I will now definitely have to look at your. other stories.
It was wonderful, as usual. A wee bit more sex would not have hurt. Seriously, keep it up.
I read into the title looking for a heavy amount of sex as is typical on the site. When I began reading and not finding the heated stuff, I was about to quit short. But for some reason,I never did. You caught me. I found the story compelling and the sexual parts satisfying. Thanks for the good read.
I loved this piece! I loved how emotionally in depth it was. Like other readers I was expecting a ton of sex, but the limited amount fit perfectly with the plot. Keep writing, your work is amazing.
I couldn't put this down, I really hoped for the ending to be just as it did.
Bravo, trust and true love wins every time.
Thank you for sharing your stories with us.
I've read your catalog, can't wait for the remaining chapters of "The Job".
Thanks again.
C
I found myself hurrying past the erotic parts to find out what happens to the characters. Stunningly written and wholly engaging- thank you!
I was reading for sexual exciting...but this is the 1st story I took the time to read...I loved it!!!!
liked the story, like the relationship, how it evolved over the pages. edit advice, several times you interchanged "Bob" and "Wally" in the story, one sentence you would use Bob's name then in the next sentence switch to Wally, I think you even switched Bob and Charlie so at one point I thought Monica was married to Bob, cute idea if it had turned out. there are also some sentences that need to be cleaned up, words typed twice, missing words and spelling errors. thanks for the story, I was entertained
I usually read in the NonHuman genre, but was bored, and found this story.
What a find it was. Enough sex to be "tittalating" (pun intended), and well written enough to be thoroughly enjoyable. Kudos!
U definitely should write novels!!!
It was like a movie..!!! Wow
I am soo happy to read this.....i didn't know Literotica would have such amazing stories full of love and yeah I also skipped some erotic parts to know what's next....
I hope u have more such stories to share
Loved every word of it and will read it again! Now if I could experience that in my life that would make my life complete! ;-) You give hope that the combination of real love and loving and rich people DO exist! Kudos to you! This wasn't a cheesy romantic story, it had real life issues and modern words and made me think it's all possible! Waiting for chapter 2 and beyond! :-)
I was looking for the most exotic story I could find for my friend, yet somehow I ended up reading all 9 pages of this story. Very well written story. I enjoyed it completely.
Never in my life have I ever expected to read such quality material on an erotic fiction site. Well done
I agree with those who say this is a good story. However, it does not have enough, or sufficiently explicit, sex to qualify for Erotic Couplings. It really belongs in Romance. That said, I gave it five stars and found it very enjoyable.
I don't tend to read a great deal on here, but am glad I chose your story to read today. I just sort of ended up needing to read the whole 9 pages. The ending actually made me 'well-up' and shed a tear or two...
It still brought tears to my eyes.
A very romantic tale of two lost souls.
Thank you to the Author.
nice story, kept me enthralled, could almost share it with the wife !!
Definitely a MUST READ. Brought tears to my eyes, joy to my heart - Wonderful, just Wonderful.
Absolutely beautiful. Had me in tears at several points. You are a very talented writer, I hope you enjoyed writing this as much as I enjoyed reading it.
What a brilliantly constructed story that flowed flawlessly through dozens of scenarios.
Great characters, incredible insights and a fairy book ending. Absolutely breath taking.
Imagine my surprise in finding this. This isn't an erotic short with color. This is a fine story with sex scenes added for spice. I haven't enjoyed any other story here as much as this one. Thanks.
This story is incredible, truly moving and feels very real, despite it sounding quite far-fetched! Come on here expecting a bit of smut but all I've got is happiness (and some tender love scenes)
I've only just discovered your work and enjoyed it immensely . I'm eager to read all your stories but plan to treat myself with just one a day so I can treasure all of them over a period of time rather than over indulge like a gluttonous meal.
Thank you for your story.
I have read two of your stories so far and the writing is excellent
You don't have to have wall-to-wall sex to make a story erotic. Great characters and a well thought out dramatic narrative with a little spice thrown in is a definite winner! Count me as your latest fan.
This is one of the best things I've ever read, ever. It just felt so damned polished and amazing, the dialogue felt natural, and the characters felt real. Laughed my ass off at the end, having completely forgotten about the hat eating comment. I laughed, I teared up a little, and yes, I jacked it. Absolutely incredible writing.
if they had six star ratings, this one would get seven. Great story.
"We kind of hit it off during the detox" - this one made my day for sure. You have your own style of telling tales and I like it.
From the other comments, it would seem that this is an amazing story and I suspect they're right. Unfortunately, I didn't get to find out as I couldn't get past the first page for the simple reason that the main character is a dick, a total and complete asshole, as he is presented on the first page. I'm not sure how his character develops so perhaps it turns out that he's not so bad after all but I was so offput by the initial characterization by the time I got through the first page that I didn't care to read any further and find out especially since the expectation was that he was a main character who would end up with some sort of happy ending considering it's placement in "Erotic Couplings." It's fine to have unlikeable main characters but it was just too heavy at the front end for me.
Just fyi, I didn't rate the story because I don't believe in rating things that haven't read in full so I'm not trying to bring your average score down or be negative, just give a different perspective on how the story was perceived by a different kind of reader than the others who left comments in case it helps.
This was definitely a romantic story, easily could be a book! Am wondering if there will be anyone for Wally or a story about Monica and her husband. So many possibilities! <3
The ending was a very nice touch. Two flawed people finding each other and healing - makes for a great story. Well done.
Your story is very entertaining, hard to put down and easy to read. I'd like to see it made into a TV movie. This story has one of those smarmy, drippy-eyed endings that leaves everyone happy and eyes flowing with tears.
Expectation of an erotic story is what got most people to read this story. There were hints of Monica and Dale being the erotic couple. It is an outstanding lead-in to development of the romance. You clearly swept up almost all the readers with your emotional broom. Absolutely an outstanding literary work. You have a gift I hope keeps on giving. Thank you for your time and effort.
I didn't expect a real story. Intrigue, eroticism, and laughs. Thanks.
I have read a lot of the stories on here but none by far has touched me the way this one did. You did a fantastic job.
*crying uncontrollably from epic feels*
This SO needs to become a movie!
What an incredible story! It encompasses such a wide range of emotions and the ending is absolutely perfect. This writer has some serious talent!
I needed tissues for my eyes and I couldn't stop reading this. It was very enticing and very well written. I myself do not get emotional , but in this I did. Thank you for writing this story and I'm glad I found it. You should think about expanding and continuing the story and get it published. It would be a best-selling book. Keep writing!
I came back. It was just as good the second time, perhaps even better. I do agree with some of the other comments, you do get names confused and your editor does not seem to pick it up. Hopefully that will improve. Your gift of writing about emotions and situations is excellent. Keep up the good work. Doctime
My only problem was that I kept thinking, no WAY would it be that easy to kick a heroin habit. I would have liked to see at least SOME sense that she might backslide, even if she managed to resist.
I liked the story. It would have been better with a bit of editing. Like there are little words missing and mispelt and the renaming on several occasion of Wally. I kept wondering why I was seeing the name Bob. Overall it was a good read. Not all sleaze. Which was great.
This erotic short story is amazing. I'm a successful literary critic who has a weakness for erotica that no one shall no about. What you've written is simply unimaginable, I'd never dreamed to find something of such pristine quality in this collection. Bravo for formulating a work of art, I only wish it may be more widely read.
Admirably,
The Dubious Honesty
This story has everything you could possibly want in the genre. You have captured the whole, complex range of human emotion, weakness and strength within the narrative. Congratulations and please....write a book!!
I was rooting for these two from page 1 on. I didn't know what was coming but I hoped for the best. Good, good job. It was so nice reading a story where 2 broken people help each other overcome all kinds of problems. Thank You for a wonderful story.
What an amazing story. Not just an erotic story, but a great work of fiction. The characters are dynamic, the plot comes full circle and it's so imaginative! I loved it. Loved everything about this. KEEP WRITING. I will be looking for more from you in the future!
Omg, this is beyond amazing! I think this is the first literotica story I have ever honestly loved! It's not just sex and orgasm. It's friggin' true love! Omg this is just perfect!!! I love you dear writer, and I hope you have a Wattpad account! This kind of story deserves to be shared all over the world and not just to people who frequent this site! Gods, this is amazing! It's very original! Got me smiling and crying along with Dale and Mia! The characterization was awesome and realistic and just plain wonderful? Gods, really, I love it! One of the Best. Stories. Ever!
Lovelots, HunterChic1807 xoxo
Ps. Sorry for so many exclamation points ^_^v
Not only was the sexual scenes very arousing the story itself made me keep reading. The ending, simply put, sent shivers of emotions down my spine. I loved every minute I spent reading this. Absolutely Amazing.
This is a wonderful story! You still need some assistance with editing (look up the 'direct address' comma), but those errors are completely swept under the rug with the characters, rise from adversity, and heart of this story. Well done!
I loved the story; I just love things that work out. But, I have known a few addicts and alcoholics and their salvation is not so easy. You should have a couple of chapters where she leaves and goes back to drugs and then a couple more chapters where he rescues her again, but she can't stand him and curses his intrusion. Months later after literally throwing shit in his face, maybe love can overcome all obstacles.
I wish I could give this more that 5 starts....this story is by far the best story I have ever read anywhere...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for sharing it
This is the best I have seen here. Thanks for sharing it!