All Comments on 'The Beach House'

Too much of your story is waffle, and not enough of it maintains the hook of the story.

Hope she isn't prego. Hope you add in Lucy in the future

but please continue this with the brother & sister thanks

Disregard negative comments, this is by far an outstanding read and i am eager for.more!!!!

Cum into my body? lol

That was a fantastic build up, I'm really looking forward to the inevitable confrontation with Lucy. I really, hope you continue this story!

Passion ,yes but love too. There seems to be more to the story .I hope that there is.

Superbly well crafted story. More, please.

This was one of the (if not THE) BEST most erotic stories I have ever read, ANYWHERE. Keep writing Hot_Sister. THANKS :)

I loved this story! Hopefully there will be another part to it. You are on my favorites list now! 5 star story

This is really great start. It has all the necessary ingredients for more chapters. Characters development is excellent and enough sexual tension that it causes one contemplate their actions and feelings for one another. As for Lucy I am looking forward to the confrontation with Michael. I truly believe that while Sarah was away that she saw Lucy for what she really is; a user and a sexual predator that's only in for herself and has no feelings or respect for Sarah or anyone else for that matter. I certainly hope you continue this story. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Too wordy to be the great story it could have been. A 3 page story at best.

Very descriptive, and the characters are well developed. I didn't really like the brother, I felt like he was too quick to be pervy, and wasn't honest with her either. That took away from some of the story for me. But it's a personal preference, having nothing to do with the great story you wrote. I hope there's a part 2, just because this ending was rather bittersweet. Excellent ending, but bittersweet. I'm a sucker for the romantic ending.

A story that doesn't have the F word every third sentence, a story that draws you into their private lives and thoughts, how refreshing. Please add more, I'm looking forward to it.

It is a great story and I hope you continue with it. I like to way it developed and would love to read what happens between them and Lucy. So please continue the story.

but hated the ending,

hope theres more to come,cause it can't end there

so please next chapter ASAP

You write extremely well. Vivid language, active verbs. Characterizations are much, much better than almost any I've ever seen on literotica; you show what makes them tick, rather than focus exclusively on body parts and sizes (which don't tell anything about character but are a fixation for most literotica writers). Plot is well-spun and well paced. Very believable people, places, and events. Lucy really is a nasty bitch, eh? The brother and sister are very appealing people. I'll join the chorus in saying, Please continue this soon!

You are incredibly descriptive and I can tell how passionate you are by how you writ... But because you are so descriptive I feel that it takes a lot out of the reader.... I was reading just while he was watching his sister strip down and it seemed to go on and on... Then when he finally did slip into her I felt like the emotion had completely left the story due to you just going on and on; at this point I was honestly thinking why should I care... I feel that you were trying to turn this piece into a piece of artwork... There was really no reason to make the story last that long and I am against a short story lasting over 3-4 pages.... (I did not read your whole story; there was no point to doing that) I feel stories like this are big reads always for little rewards... Its really good to be descriptive, and honestly I ussually write these reviews upset that the stories onhere are not descriptive enough... I feel you should go less flash in your next story... Descriptive about only stuff that your audience will care about... I dont want a 5 paragraphs describing her clit;past wet, shiny, shaved, trimmed, ect... All I need... Nice job at describing her thong though, I also did not like the ending... 7 pages for a brother to have a submissive personality is always going to be weak...

A long story, but worth reading through to the end. Hopefully this isn't the end. We need to find out what happens between them, as well as the rest of the story with Lucy.

Your writing is beyond what I usually find here at Literotica. And like a great novel, I couldn't put it down once it got going. Congratulations. I'll be looking into more of your work.

This story holds eveeything I look for in an erotic short story. Wonderful characters, interesting plot, and it's not all about sex. Very well done.

Some of the best descriptions of the actions of sex I've come across (excuse the pun)

This author has a thorough knowledge of the human anatomy and the feelings and sensations that accompany the sex acts. I find him to be much more creative and descriptive than nearly all on this site. He has found (for me) the right mix of the normal storyteller and the classic porn novelist. I have told him privately that I believe he has the talent to write professionally (ala 50 Shades of Gray.) He is at the top of my Literotica contributors list!

Could have been an excellent sibling love story without the les gettin into the act.

Only very rarely do we come across someone on this site with your English language skills. Your insight into emotion and sexual feelings is also way ahead.

stands on it's own but leaves a way to be continued. Would like to see more. Perhaps Sarah being pregnant and telling her brother about Lucy and that she found out what she really was.

Very good, your use of descriptive words are beautiful, one can tell you have a passion for love-making. I would bet you are wonderful lover as well in the real world. And please don't take any discouragement from a negative comment here or there.

Just a beautiful story. But left me wondering what was Lucy's motive. Wonderful imagery of the stone cottage and the terrible storm. And very erotic, I might add.

Thank you.

well-written and very erotic, good sex scenes-nice couple [bro and sis] thanks

she is obviously a pedophile. The people in the story have to be 18 by law, but you don't go to scope out schools looking for victims and care about age.

Hauntingly beautiful, brings forth the whole range of emotions. Definitely one of the best.

Should be another chapter. I think this Lucy is messing with her. When does she get a modeling job? There absolutely needs to be more.

I see potential for part 2. You left us hanging, this kind of story requires substantial plotting with happy/sad ending. The way I see it, there's more; Michael's struggle to save Sarah from the carnal confusion imposed by the selfish predatorial Lucy and to earn her forbidden yet undying love, and he must confront his past mistakes he'd done, the pictures, the invasion of privacy, the revealation of Sarah, will she forgive him or not? And Lucy, how she will react when Sarah confront her that she'd been with a Man, and the epic finale; Michael's confrontation with Lucy, who will prevail? Will he save his beloved sister or loose her to Lucy? Sarah's decision to choose between the two forbidden relationship; Michael or Lucy? I see more chapters. This is just a foundation you've written, and it is exceptional, we need to see more. Besides, The Beach House needs to finished. Cheers.

I really enjoyed this. I didn't mind the technical interludes pertaining to the restorative work since these things enter into one's thoughts at such a time. Hell, I write like that too on occasion. I was a little sad that the future looked somewhat indistinct, but from the vantage point of of a likely cool and windy ride back to civilization in a fisherman's boat with a load of things on one's mind, I can understand it.

So Bravo (or Brava, if it applies). I've found an author whose work I now wish to read more of. 0_o

Thank you! That was a hot, well-written and thoroughly satisfying piece of writing. It was one of the best stories I've read on here with a very startling twist at the end.

You have true talent! The level of detail in the imagery your words invoke paint a crystal clear picture of not only "things" but emotions, tactile feelings, and even experiences, technical and natural!

The sex scenes were descriptive and very satisfying with just enough "raunch" in them to appease even those who look JUST for that.

You are one of my FAVORITES. This piece justifies that selection once again.

Please don't stop writing. This could be a career for you, even if you save the erotic literature as a side thing, done purely for you (and our!) pleasure.

Keep it up!

X-Man

So many things left unanswered... Would still be reading if there was more.Excellent characters, even after being thrown in the middle of the story.Finish the cottage, Reunite after some time,older.Definitely HOT!!!

... its not really finished, is it ?

Like a Hitchcock film, we're left to make up our own ending. But it's your story and it needs you to finish it off as you want it to finish.

Please do, you're a great author and it doesn't become you to leave one of your stories only half done.

Thanks !

I do know you are gifted. But why demean some one as great as Mother Teresa.

That's why I voted one star though the story deserved five stars. Skip religion and great personalities out of this.

touched me in an unexpected way tonight,

Not my first time reading this nor the last

Thank you

From the bottom of my heart, please don't leave the story as is. Even if the culmination leads to Sarah going her way, and Michael left to his own end, the story needs a closing. Please use your skill as a descriptive writer to close the book, so to speak. I will be checking back from time to time, to see if my wish has been granted.

This was a great story it deserves an ending I know its difficult to continue a story but the character depth the love the feelings all were so exceptionally detailed it must have an equally detailed ending.Please consider this and continue it. Regards DK

Your stories move me; sometimes in ways I don't like. I liked this one, very much. Some of your stories take my emotions and wrench them. I'm never sure what you will do to me when I start one of your stories. Sometimes I have to read something else to free myself from the grip of a story. Your Chelsea stories were like that. You have a gift of the true story teller. Your stories are not light reading... ever.

The first 2-2.5 pages are pretty coherent, as are pages 6 and 7. Honestly, you can skip pages 3-5 and most of page 1 without missing anything.

There's no indication of continuing the story. It's not marked "Chapter 1"; there's no author's note at the start or end. Judging solely based on what's here, I think the 3 stars I gave it were generous.

I like long stories. I like developed characters and conflict. Some stories definitely should be 7 pages (or longer!). This is not one of those stories.

I'm giving this 5 stars because I enjoyed the romance and how well written your story is. Despite the fact that the characters were well developed, I did not like the personalities of the Brother. I'm not quite into the whole "controlling/possessive" nature some boys have. Still, very well written, very romantic. I will start reading chapter 2!

I really hated the brother character came off as a possessive jealous stalker

I really like these longer stories, because its all about the story. The eroticism is a bonus, but no amount of romance or sex can salvage a bad story, which must be able to stand on its own. To those who thought the ending wasn’t finished, it was perfectly finished. The author even gave you a clue as to the outcome. You just have to be of enough of a positive mind to see it, and, “look forward again, to the future.” Well done. Five stars.

Single instead of double quotes around spoken dialogue is so wrong, and totally distracting.