All Comments on 'The Best Sex'

Hot Hot Hot

Some of your descriptives are weird- don't model your work off 50 shades. It's a terrible piece of literature.

For sure, your story was hot. But the Richter scale thing was terribly inaccurate and immersion breaking (face palm inducing), and the volcano metaphor just got weird by the end of it.

Try to immerse yourself in how the character feels. Use the five senses, and describe things the way they would /feel/ to you. What would you see, hear, feel, smell, taste? Describe it. And use your own words, your own way of thinking about things.

Otherwise, conceptually it was pretty great. Although, the main character's motive was a bit skewed. She was very easily swayed. This is all constructive criticism, of course. The story was, in fact, very nice. And it was quick and to the point. Short but sweet. Which is how I like my smut fics, personally. Keep up the good work!

Good stuff.. but definitely needs some editing to make it best...

Especially with K1Kelley but also with Mr. Anonymous who commented about the Richter Scale and Volcano metaphors. You can write better than that. It was kind of a sexual Stockholm Syndrome, a Patty Hearst (Tanya) conversion story, if you will. One last critique: "I also knew I was pregnant, don't ask me how I knew, I just did." This was just gratuitously stupid, thrown in there with no follow up. Sure, pregnancy is always a fear with unprotected sex, and so is disease. It might have been more kinky if she had had an STD and became scared her kinky captor had caught it, once she had developed affection for him. In spite of these criticisms, somehow, the story worked. Five stars. Nice job, JB Edwards

MORE AND MORE PLEASE!