The Billy Goat Hill Pundits Ch. 03

"Will, you can trust me on this: no one believes that crap!" his dad exclaimed. "From the beginning, I had people seeking me out and telling me they knew it was all bullshit: but everyone was afraid to speak up! If the Parkers had joined with the Smithermans, as it seemed, speaking up would result in the loss of their jobs, or worse!"

"But your songs did something to the people of this community, Will. Well, to us all!" exclaimed Peggy. "It was as if someone shown a spotlight so strong it destroyed the darkness, and we all saw the Smithermans and their cronies for the cockroaches they are, instead of Big Bad Wolves that would gobble up their enemies!"

"Now that they have been exposed, and other employers and the savings and loan are moving in, it's as if fear has been erased!" Al added. "That's why every member of the ruling cabal has an opponent, and why those opponents will sweep the elections!"

Will snorted, then chuckled. "So the pen IS mightier than the sword - at least when the swordsmen are cockroaches, right?

"Okay, let's get to the bottom line: your little gang of four has convinced me, I suppose. I'll probably have more questions later, but I'm going to let my anger toward you go. I would say, 'forgive you', but I guess there really isn't anything to forgive - you were doing what you decided was right for your grandchildren - my children - and I don't want to deprive them of your wisdom and love.

"So, on my end, everything is... okay... now, but I do have a major request. I'm going to do everything in my power to be here with the kids, but I have responsibilities to the band that are going to take me away from time to time. My hope is that the four of you, or at least two, can travel with us on the weekends when I have custody of the children and a scheduling conflict. That way, when I'm on stage you guys can take care of Andrew and Saralyn, and maybe enjoy our music from time to time."

The grandparents looked and nodded at one another, so he interjected, "Just to test that decision, our next two gigs are on weekends when I don't have custody, but we play the Arneson River Theater in San Antonio on New Year's Eve, when I do. I'll rent a suite for you, or two rooms if you'd rather, because I want the four of you to come with us and take care of Andrew and Saralyn.

"If possible, I'd like for you to be there in time to eat with us mid-afternoon, bring them to the concert from eight until ten, and then join us on a barge for a river tour. If they can stay up, we can all watch the fireworks at midnight, and celebrate what I hope will be a much better year."

While they were consulting and planning, Will went to get Lila. "Lina, can you and the guys play games with them for another ten to fifteen minutes? It's time my girlfriend met the grandparents."

Lila's eyes went wide and she looked down at herself. She was wearing Wrangler jeans and a pale blue hoodie, with colorful athletic shoes. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, and, after playing games with the kids, she was practically devoid of the light makeup she had donned early in the morning. "Will, I don't think now is a good time..."

He grabbed her by the hand, winked, and said, "You look gorgeous, the kids love you, and they're gonna love you! Come on!"

She half-heartedly resisted at first, but drug along by Will and assured by Lina that she looked perfect and it would all be fine, she stopped, gathered and composed herself, straightened her clothes and hair, and entered first while he held the door.

Affecting her performance persona, Lila had a pleasant smile, erect posture, and agreeable demeanor.

The grandparents were standing in a circle talking until Lila and Will stopped about ten feet away. They turned to face them; Will smiled and said, "I have someone I want all of you to meet. This is my bandmate, Lila Rebecca Tate. Lila, this is Peggy Parker, and this is Al Parker; the Parkers are Andrew and Saralyn's maternal grandparents - Sarah's parents. You met my parents earlier, but I didn't complete your introduction at that time."

Will wrapped his left arm around her waist before continuing. "Now I'm sure you guys have seen and heard Lila perform on our shows and heard her amazing voice on our songs, but what you don't know is... she's also my girlfriend."

The welcoming smiles broadened on the faces of the two men, but those of the women immediately morphed into forced smiles barely hiding curiosity and concern. After hands were shaken and personal introductions carried out, Bea and Peggy hustled Lila off to the kitchen, "for a little coffee and conversation."

Will took the men outside, introduced Al around, and, after warning Lina to check on Lila, took over playground duties. Lina disappeared inside, and the grandfathers came over to help Will. "Andrew, Saralyn, I want you to know that I've been talking to your Grammy and Gramps, and now I understand why they did some of the things they did. I love them, and I know you love them, so we're going to be staying together a lot!"

Saralyn smiled and ran to Gramps; Andrew looked skeptical, but relented when Will whispered, "I'll tell you about it later," and signaled for him to go to his grandpa. The grandfathers took over playground duties, and Will crept back to make sure his girlfriends weren't being tortured.

He saw through the kitchen window that the girls were laughing and talking with the Grandmothers, so he let out the breath he had been holding and returned to his bandmates. They were picking guitars, beating on the table, and working on a couple of new songs that needed 'something'. The paused when he approached.

"No blood on 'ya," Woody commented. "Can we assume things are coming along?"

"You can," Will replied before picking up his guitar and joining the workgroup.

An hour later, Lila came back outside arm-in-arm with his mother, and both were smiling. Lina led Peggy, Al, and Dad out. "Where are Andrew and Saralyn?" Will asked.

"Watching Disney on that huge TV with a thousand channels," Dad replied.

"Who owns this house?" Al asked, "And whose -W brand is that on the gate?"

"This was my Uncle Talbot's ranch until recently. His health is suffering and Aunt Minnie is in a nursing home in Pleasanton, so he needs to be close to her and his doctors. He was having a hard time getting out here to take care of things, so he sold it to me," replied Woody.

"Forget to fill us in on that little detail until right now, Buddy?" asked Will with a chuckle.

"It's no big deal. I hired a local couple to take care of the cattle and house, so owning the ranch won't interfere with our music."

"Well, since you've begun putting down roots, I need to share some news of my own. Remember Vincent's Crossing on the Nueces? The rich SOB who bought it from my great-aunt started running out of family money and decided to get rich in Cryptocurrency. That didn't go so well, and it seems he had some unsavory creditors.

"They ran out of patience just about the time I made him an offer of 50 cents on the dollar, cash money, so he took it.

"I haven't been out there since Aunt May inherited it from my grandfather's estate thirteen years ago, I bought it sight unseen, and I paid a truly stupid amount of money for it, even if it was a half of the asking price! For all I know, I could have bought a money pit!

"My realtor, Tina Welch, assures me he improved the roads and fences and built what she called 'a fantastic lodge with guesthouses,' but she admits she hasn't been out there in several years. She didn't even get to go look when he called in a panic asking if she had a buyer who could pay cash, immediately!

"She called me, knowing I might be interested because the ranch was my great-grandfather's homestead, and that I might have the cash available to buy quickly. I told her I was interested, but not at that price. She asked me to counter, so I offered half, saying that's all I could afford. She laughed at my offer, but he didn't. I guess his life - or maybe his nuts - meant more to him than the ranch.

"Woody remembers the place, but the rest of y'all have never seen it, except looking west in the dark from Billy Goat Hill, which is a couple of miles away. The Nueces River runs through the middle of the place, and there is an old county road that is now private. It has a steel-frame, wood-floor bridge spanning the river. That thing must have been built in the 1800s! We used to swim in the river, and take girls for picnics under the oaks.

"Tina says all but one of the old wooden buildings my ancestors built have been torn down, and the new buildings sit on the brushy hill that overlooks the river from the northwest, where we used to hunt rattlers.

"The owner has until three this afternoon to remove whatever he wants to keep, which is why I begged off the practice session tonight. I'm extremely anxious to see it so I can decide if I want to keep it or turn it, and plan on being at the gate about three-oh-one; any of y'all wanna ride along?"

Lila knew all about his secret purchase, but the others abused him about keeping a secret like that - before declaring that they wanted to go see it too. Will's dad had tears in his eyes, thinking that the historic ranch was back in the family, and he gave Will a big hug and pat on the back. "I'm glad you two are using some of that easy money to buy something substantial! I guess it's like they say: you can take the boys out of the country, but can't take the country out of the boys!"

Lila and the kids rode in Will's pickup; their bandmates rode in Woody's pickup. The grandparents took the Parkers' SUV, after dropping the Callaghan's SUV at the high school parking lot.

Tina met them there; she was another friend from high school, and she was bouncing with excitement about the Old Callaghan Place belonging to a Callaghan again.

She gave him the keys, remotes, and a USB stick with all the access codes, including those for the security system and door pads, and then begged to come along. "I haven't been out there since a Christmas party he threw five years ago. He only hosted a few more parties after that, but Tad and I weren't important enough to get invited. I really want to see it again!

"I will say this - when I was there, it was a showplace! I don't know about now, and the fact that he wouldn't even let me come see it gives me concern, but I'm certain it's worth at least what Will paid!"

Tina climbed aboard Woody's truck and entertained his passengers with tales about the historic ranch for the short ten-minute trip.

There was a large, ornate steel gate at the entrance. It was controlled by the remotes, with a key pad beside the driver's window for the use of visitors. The road was crushed limestone over a thick caliche base. It needed grading, but the roadway was built up more than a foot above the rich black soil, which they knew became a sticky nightmare when wet.

Tina took charge when they entered the ranch, so Woody took the lead. She called Will on his cellphone, which he put on Bluetooth, allowing everyone in his pickup to hear her descriptions of the sights they drove past. Will and Lila had seen an aerial photo, but it looked very different from ground level.

They drove slowly past the main house, two guesthouses, and a game room, all clustered around a central park of grass, trees, and a swimming pool. The concrete apron around the pool appeared to extend out at least 20 feet in all directions. Metal tables with folding umbrellas and padded chairs were scattered around the apron, interspersed with padded loungers. It all looked like it belonged in Dallas Highland Park, not on a ranch in the Brush Country.

At Tina's direction, they drove a few hundred feet up the gently sloping hill behind the guesthouses to a metal building with what they estimated was about 15,000 square feet of covered space.

It was enclosed along the side facing the houses, with windows, doors, a sidewalk, and a fenced lawn. Covered horse stalls took up the southwest half of the opposite side, and three vehicle bays took up the northwest half. A 30-foot wide concrete alley, with roll-up doors on either end, separated the stalls from the enclosed portion of the building.

About two-thirds of the 'barndomenium' was living quarters: two bedrooms and one bath on the backside, with an open kitchen/ dining/ living space extending across the front side. Further exploration disclosed that the last third of the enclosure was what had served as a tack room, but the saddles, ropes, reins, and other gear had been removed. It had a 10'x 12' office in the back corner, by the door from the alleyway; it was also empty.

Neither furniture nor appliances had been removed from the living section of the barndomenium, and the three vehicle bays were filled. The first bay held a 90-horsepower New Holland tractor with attached front loader and shredder; a plow, disc, and haybaler were parked behind the shredder. The second stall had three double-seat Kawasaki Mule ATVs; the third contained an older but top-of-the-line diesel pusher motorhome with a rear-mounted Caterpillar engine.

At first they had chatted merrily as discovery after discovery proved Will's concerns were unfounded, but after viewing the "barn" and it's contents, the walk back to the main lodge was quiet and contemplative. Will was stunned by what he had lucked into, and the others were waiting for the other shoe to fall - nobody gets this lucky!

When he used the code to open the main door to the lodge, they were astonished - the lodge alone was worth what Will had paid for the entire place!

They entered into the "Great Room" - an open area so large there were three different clusters of couches and chairs facing 86" TVs, and laptops were set up in nooks.

A long wooden table with 20 chairs dominated the dining area, which was separated by a granite-top bar from the modern black granite and stainless steel kitchen, featuring commercial appliances and a walk-in freezer.

Now they were open-mouth dumbfounded, and Tina was reveling in their disbelief. She poked Woody in the ribs and said, "I told you!"

"No, you didn't!" he rejoined. "This is way more impressive than your description!"

Lila leaned into Will and quietly said, "I agree with Woody - you made it sound like a ranch with a nice house with some guest quarters, not a mansion with a pool and guest houses!"

"I had no idea!" responded a dumbstruck Will. "For once, following my gut rather than my head worked out for me!"

"First time for everything!" Woody and Tina chimed together.

The rest of the afternoon was spent touring the six-bedroom, seven-bath lodge and the guesthouses, trying out the billiards, pool, and shuffleboard tables in the game room, and riding the ATVs on the improved pasture roads.

They were surprised to discover that the previous owner had left all the furnishings in the lodge and guesthouses, including the linens and the kitchen necessities and accessories.

The previous owner had neglected the valley of the Nueces River, which was overgrown with brush and littered with piles of debris from floods. Everything else, though, including the luxury hunting stands, had been well cared for.

The children and grandparents were getting hungry, so after goodbyes were said the grandparents took them out to eat, and then back to Sarah's house.

A few cold beers out of Woody's ice chest later, the Pundits waxed philosophical. "Karma! That's what it is... or maybe Kismet!" Woody ascribed with a vexed look.

"After getting fucked over... and over... and over, the gods have intervened and my friend Will is starting to have a run of good luck! First he writes some hit songs, then he gets a gig in a hot new band and scores a hot chick, and then the songs start making money, and now he stumbles into a deal that is going to make his gold-digger ex-wife go blind with envy!"

"Uh, Will, that reminds me: what are you planning to do with the tack room in the barn?" asked Gary.

"I hope you're having the same vision I'm having, Gar!" Lina interjected. "And I'm hoping Will is too!"

"Uh, Gary, Lina, I was thinking it would make one helluva recording studio and practice facility. What were you guys thinking?"

"Great minds think alike, my suddenly fortunate friend! Right Lina?"

"Great minds," Lila snorted. "I doubt any of us walked out of that room without envisioning the same thing! I suppose you looked at the guesthouses and thought, 'roommates'?"

"Actually, Gary and I looked at the barndomenium and thought 'rental unit for itinerant musicians'," Danny replied.

Lina grinned. "Actually, I'm the one that thought the guesthouse by the diving board looked like a perfect home for your favorite roommate!"

Not to be outdone, Woody added, "And I'm the perfect guest for the house next to the game room! You won't even hear me when I bring friends back here to party!

"But, you guys do realize we're going to have to go back to Austin to record, and when it comes time to tour, the nearest airport is a hundred miles from here."

"All true, but my children are less than five miles away," Will replied. "The interstate is a couple of miles over that hill, and there is a very nice airport with a runway that handles even corporate jets on the east side of town - if we ever get big enough that matters.

"Laredo is about an hour south, Corpus ninety minutes east, San Antonio is about 90 minutes north, and Austin is an hour further... assuming traffic on I35 is moving. And, last but not least, Garner State Park and Con Can are less than two hours northwest.

"With the Smithermans' little serfdom being destroyed by the rebellion, this could become a good place to live again. And, if my lawyers are close on the 'monetary damages' I'm due, the jackasses that ran me out of town are going to buy my family ranch back for me!"

"What say you? Do we go get our stuff from Austin and set up down here, or roll back and forth?"

Gary spoke up first. "Well, this certainly ain't Bluegrass Country, or western Tennessee, or the Appalachians, but it does kind of grow on ya. I'm not much of a city boy, so I'll cast my vote for making a clean break... assuming I get the north bedroom in the barndomenium."

It was unanimous, if everyone got their preferred bedroom, and so the Pundits moved to a ranch less than a mile from Billy Goat Hill.

****

Will's phone rang at 8:00 am the next morning. Fortunately, Lila had allowed him four or five hours of sleep and his celebration hangover was rather mild, so he was mostly functional when the investigators gave their verbal report. By the time they finished he had two cups of strong but bitter coffee under his belt, and was raring to go.

His next call was to Savage, who already had an electronic copy of the report and was raring to file new lawsuits; Will cut him loose, smiling as he considered the ramifications. As badly as they had hurt him, what was coming would hurt them far worse, and he planned to wallow in their pain as they had rejoiced in his.

While sitting back and enjoying the fruits of his vengeance, a song began to write itself in his mind. He grabbed his tablet and his guitar, and fifteen minutes later 'Comeuppance' was written.

Will left the office and discovered that Woody had been to town for breakfast tacos, milk, better coffee, and groceries to make a couple of meals. Everyone else had eaten, so he chowed down on a taco, revealing the main contents of the report between bites.

Their laughter and comments lightened the enormity somewhat, but his betrayal was so methodical, unscrupulous, callous, and depraved, it seemed the songs that had brought his enemies down weren't nearly potent enough! The band was ready to go write another concept album to expose the depth and breadth of their chicanery, but Will proposed another approach; the celebration of their demise.