All Comments on 'The Blow-n-Go'

Not here. Just dumb. Nothing funny, interesting or erotic about this piece of shit. Just awful. Were you trying to write the worst story ever?

You should leave the funny business to people that are actually funny. This was just stupid. What a shit story.

Was this written by some junior high kids? WTF? Fucking grow up, man. This is supposed to be an "adult" site.

That was ugly. One star.

This was akin to mountain lion in his prime trying to catch two rabbits in same time frame just for the hell of it, uncaring about the results . One agenda seemed to pen a madcap story based on cutting edge idea much like imhapless. Agenda no.2 seemed to be fanning flame of feud with a very well known persona. I'm not sure how much time swingerjoe invested in this.... probably not as much as his other stories would be my guess.

Tomorrow is another day. The one star chili deal heh , heh. Ok ...next !

pure shit.

This story has its funny moments...Not many, but some. Even the analogy to the one star rating has its humor. The bad part is that analogy was the primary goal of the story. So all the fun about the robots served as background as the main event were the crockpot ratings. And with that what was really funny lost its impact...2* for making me smile...

Kimi has really gotten into your head! You wrote a whole fucking story just to get some shots in at someone who makes comments you don't like? Get a fucking life, dude. She probably won't even read this shit. How stupid are you?

What a fucking retard you are. You're like some playground bully that never grew up. You think this is funny? You just look like an idiot. LMAO at what a loser you are.

This reflects poorly upon a writer with your talent🎭, swingerjoe.

Ummm, I still ⏳am looking forward to your next new story.

Thanks for the effort.

AMerryman

Clever, well written, and it made me smile.

I guess I can give you one star for taking a cheap shot. But the story itself was droll. I've read about several people building very realistic, lifelike "sex robots". This story really didn't take advantage of those creations. Neither funny or entertaining.

1 star

Just embarrassing. Not sure how you expect anyone to ever take you seriously again after writing this. I think the score says what most people think about this juvenile prank. Do you go out and toilet paper peoples trees? This is the writing equivalent of taking a dump on someone's lawn I'll give it the chili score. 1* Just giving it a comment is more than this deserves. RPL

That tells you all you need to know about this shit pile. One big gold star.

Which is funnier: this story, or all of the humorless "Pammys" who are one-bombing it?

LMAO!

How sad is that?

You managed to make yourself look like a fucking moron, and make “Pammy” look like someone with class at the same time. Great move. Now that’s funny! Talk about bending over and giving it to yourself in the ass! Smooth.

What an interesting experiment this has been. First, it's interesting that almost all the comments have been from anons, and almost all are angry old men with zero sense of humor. It's Friday, folks! For those of us still in the workforce, that means it's time to relax and maybe laugh a little.

Secondly, it's interesting that so many people seem to recognize one of the characters in this story based on the fact that she's a despicable little troll who gets off on insulting people who are kind enough to provide her with free stuff! Whatever makes you think I modeled this fictitious character after someone in real life? LOL.

Finally, it's interesting that no one picked up on the fact that this story is written with a sitcom template. You know: two parallel subplots, one-liners delivered at regular intervals, the main characters getting into a wacky situation, only to have it wrapped up in the end so that they return to where they began. Hell, it even stars an overweight leading man and his way-too-hot-for-him wife (a sitcom staple!) Oh, well.

In the end, this was just another writing experiment for me as I continue to spread my wings and challenge myself. I didn't really expect any of you angry anons to get it. Forgive me for trying to shine a tiny ray of sunshine on your miserable lives. Please return to your murder-porn.

Fascinating characters. Use them again.

i just hope this bar really does exists, and doesnt cost an arm and a leg like good escorts do.

I thought this was a clever story. Well written with an intriguing premise. I think men would be down for robot play far quicker than women. I thought the secondary storyline was clever as well, made the whole thing more entertaining.

I wasn't going to bother replying to this, but I had to rebut your self-serving comment.

People "recognized" who you were poking because you made NO effort to disguise her. You COULD have left her name at Pamela, but NO, you had to use Pammy, just in case we were to dense to get your subtle "humor."

As far as "getting" your sitcom template, once your intent was obvious any further analysis was a waste of time.

As Trump would say, SAD.

The mutual butt-hurt by the Pammy apologists is entertaining, if nothing else. All I had to do was describe a thoroughly-pitiful and repugnant creature who gets her thrills by hurling juvenile insults at strangers who are kind enough to provide her with free stuff, and readers would have figured out exactly who provided the character's inspiration. The name is superfluous.

I enjoyed it. Not too dramatic or emotional compared with other stories in this category. I think it could use more descriptive sex scenes. But it is not bad . I don't know why you have so many people posting hateful comments. I don't see the same thing that they do I guess.

You just keep making it worse. It was bad enough that you posted this crass, classless piece of garbage. Now you keep opening your mouth and shoveling in more shit. You're losing it, mate. Kimi is making you lose every shred of credibility you had left, and she's making you do it to yourself without ever lifting a finger. You are stark bonkers, and getting worse. Talk to your wife, see a doctor, do something. Take a holiday. This is terrible, seeing a grown man break down like this.

Entertaining and clever. Joe's robots are far more realistic than QHML1's protagonists suddenly demonstrating Delta Force skills mid-life.

Sigh. If the name was "superfluous" why do it? Were you afraid that you were too subtle? ROFL!

Because I thought it was funny. It made me chuckle just writing it. I often name characters for my own entertainment.

When I first read about this robot BJ bar, I thought it would make an interesting LW story. If you cheat with a robot, does I count? But when I tried to think of a way to address that question seriously, I came up empty. It's just too ridiculous. So I tried my hand at comedy. It's okay that most readers didn't think it was funny. Comedy is far more subjective than any other type of entertainment. If you didn't even get a single smile out of this story, I will send you a full refund for the price you paid to read it.

~Last words of celebrated British Shakespearean actor Edmund Kean (4 November 1787 – 15 May 1833)

I made it through the first few paragraphs thinking I might be able to actually read a Joe Swinger story. I was wrong. This is some of the more horrendous collection of sentences I have seen in a while.

I gave you a 2 because you do at least know how to construct sentences. Creating an actual story worth the time to read? Not so much. What has made it worse is seeing your fall back for every putrid thing you put out here: "I'm doing an experiment to see how many yada yada yada. Man, everything you write is an experiment in how to waste cloud storage.

With this constant theme of yours of trying to denigrate other authors or commentators on the site you really come across as just another variety of internet jackass. Why not allow a bit of maturity to help you past the juvenile stump you've fastened yourself to?

And it looks like SJ has returned to his old habits . Last time you pulled this little stunt of placing Lit authors in your little story , if memory serves , they bowed up on you . Then of course you got your feelings hurt .

Maybe Kimmi can get MFH to go in on a ..................................

Hey, great to see you. You still think I ghost-wrote Kublicon's story? LOL.

You seriously think my "feelings were hurt" by Randi and Vandy thoroughly embarrassing themselves like that? Good lord. Their attempts at satire were embarrassing only for them. Instead of cutting to the bone, they resorted to tired old cliches that had nothing to do with me. It was the worst type of lazy hack writing. Like watching a comedian bomb on stage with knock-knock jokes. For satire to truly sting, it has to hit close to home and ring true.

Which is why so many of "Pammy's" pals are so angry today. Stings a little too much, I guess.

It only requires 750 words to have a story approved. Even a blank page would quite adequately enrage the commentariat, so long as the author was identified as Swingerjoe.

I do hope the fisherman has been entertained.

Lue

Ps: So now I'll read the story to find out what all the fuss is all about.

My main question was, how much did she spend on this fuck toy? That had to be expensive; what a waste. As to the plot or moral or whatever the point of the story was, I thought it was kind of cute, if ridiculous. An entertaining farce.

Thanks.

If SJ put as much energy into learning how to write as he does denigrating other writers and commenters, he might, just MIGHT start being a better writer.

He’s about where he’s going to be. I don’t think he’s that smart. He doesn’t learn anything else. He went after the three best writers around today, MFH, Van1 and BR1958. They embarrassed and humiliated him. He didn’t learn. He goes after kimi1990 nearly every time she makes a comment, and she just destroys him. He’s just not in her league in the brain department. You can tell by how quickly his comments go to “stupid cunt, or “this is kimi’s life,” or “Mommy issues” or something about the way she looks, which he has no idea, of course, or some personal insults. He’s not smart enough to know when he is outgunned in brainpower, so he probably isn’t smart enough to learn to write better.

I thought this was a light-hearted, well-written story which made a serious point about how sensitive couples normally are regarding their sexual performance and how reluctant they are to share. Oddly, none of your many critics appear to have picked up on the irony of you, of all people, writing such a story. I admire your capacity to reflect viewpoints other than your own.

Re-read the story. Assume that the aggressive female character is called Mavis or Helen or some common female name other than Pammie. (Even Luellen if you prefer.)

Would it then be an acceptable story? Not a classic, perhaps, but as Joe says a story structured within the sitcom framework of two parallel threads. I agree with all the points made by TwentySeven, it was a good story. It was good regardless of what so many have assumed was a dig at Kimi..

Joe is not renowned for subtlety in his return digs at those who take a dig at him (which I think is unfortunate) but he does have considerable talent as a writer in various genres.

Try objectivity, Anonymouse.

Lue

If Nancy was trying to tell Ed that she wasn't bothered by him having sex with a robot as much as she was by him not being open with her about it, the sensible thing to do would have been to buy one for him so he could play with it at home. Or maybe a pair of them so they could each have one. Or at least buy him his own faceless "Black and Decker" so they'd be on a level playing field for sex toys,

So it seems to me that what Nancy really wanted was not to promote equality and openness in their sex life but to use "Alex" to embarrass Ed and maintain a double standard in which she gets to have her choice of sex toys but he couldn't have his.

Ed should have just sat back while "Alex" operated, flipped through the manual and pointed out all the cool features Nancy should try out next.

for cum-eater-joe.

Yes, Lue, the dueling sex toy story was decent. If he had stuck to that, maybe even put some effort into making it better, instead of trying to zing Kimi, maybe he would have done better.

Heck, he could have left the critic plot (I won't call it a sub-plot, because that was his main objective) and as you say use a different sounding name.

Then he could have shared a giggle with you about how his foes either didn't get the joke, or got it and couldn't say anything without making his point for him. By his use of "Pammy" he turns it into an insult at Kimi instead of a satire.

This is just swingerjoe using bad smut to show he is a douchecanoe.

fuck off. You're an insane old ugly fat fag fool!

Why do you keep going after this girl? You make her more relevant than she really is. When you do dumb shit like this, people forget about the retarded shit that she writes, and they turn her into the victim. Let her die a death by her own folly, not live because of yours.

Please stop engaging her. Let her go back to pumping herself up anonymously.

I don't think you care, but if you're curious, here's how my creative process works.

I'm always looking for story ideas. Always. Sometimes I get a flurry of ideas in a short time, and other times I'll go months between ideas. As you're well aware, I hate repeating stories that have already been told a million times here, so finding new angles in the LW genre is challenging.

Anyway, I came across this story about a robot blowjob bar, and I thought it would be an interesting topic for LW. I tried to think of a serious way to tell that story, but it was impossible. I mean, come on. Robot blowjobs?

So, I decided to try writing my first "comedy." And since I know nothing about writing comedy, I searched for a template and found one for sitcoms. I thought it would a fun exercise -- and it was.

The template calls for two or three subplots taking place within the same episode. If you've ever seen a sitcom, you're familiar with the formula. I needed a second subplot. I came up with the chili idea a long time ago, but it wasn't something that I ever thought I'd use (since it has nothing to do with LW.) Still, I thought the concept was funny, and this was the perfect oppprtunity to use it.

When I first came up with the idea, the chili critic is representative of any number of anons who come to this site on a daily basis to hurl insults and complain about free stuff. I had to give the character a name. Who better represents that group? Who is the all-time QUEEN of that group of ingrates? The choice was obvious.

So, it wasn't my "main objective" to poke your pal. And it isn't meant to be an "insult" toward any one person, but a satire of that entire group of people who richly deserve any mockery or ridicule that comes their way.

Except for the last two paragraphs, that intent just didn't register with me.

Giving you the benefit of the doubt on the primary plot, if the objective of the critic was o represent the Anons, the why not use the name "Nonnie,"

Agree with her or not, hate her or love her, to lump Kimi in with the Anonymous bomb throwers is more a commentary on you than on her.

Are you fucking kidding me? Is there any other person on this site, with an actual username, who issues more childish insults at the writers than she does? Has she ever had a single kind word of encouragement for ANY writer outside of her clique?I'm the bad guy for pointing out what a viscoous little troll she is? Are you kidding me?

I'll never understand your defense of her. You seem like a nice guy otherwise.

P.S. Nonnie is a stupid name.

It's someone with an even more stupid user name than "Nonnie." It's swingerjoe. The most insulting comments come from you. You're the worst troll around. That's why it's so fucking funny to see you complain about someone else. I'm an anonymous asshole, but I can't hold a candle to you. Kimi only insults you, and it's very funny.

I actually think Kimi is the best and funnies commenter around. I've seen other people say that. As for not saying anything good, I think she said something good on one of your recent stories. Having a little memory lapse?

Name one.

I only "insult" those who insult me or others.

And with that said, go fuck yourself.

(See what I did there?)

I really wish you would stop this. I get that she irritates you. But it just lowers you to attack her like this. Another anonymous suggested that you just stop engaging her. I agree. It isn't worth it.

Didn't really enjoy the story because it seemed personal. Satire against a general audience is one thing. Attacking a person is another. In one of my stories, I took a shot at Harryinva. But I made it clear that I respected him and I did it in good fun. I actually enjoy his comments, even when he calls me a vile human being. I hold no animosity against him.

The two of you have a personal grudge against each other, which makes this seem like a cheap shot. Just my opinion.

Since I pretty much ignore sniping and feuds in the comments. So my attention was primarily on the robot plot and what was to me its obvious one-sidedness.

Ed goes to the robot sex cafe, but doesn't see it as cheating because Nancy has her sex toys too. Nancy and the other women protesting the cafe see the robots as demeaning to women. Ed doesn't see it because to him a sex toy is a sex toy, but once Nancy explains her point of view he's got no problem with not going anymore.

Nancy, on the other hand, just can't let it go until Ed himself has felt demeaned so she goes out and gets "Alex." But Ed doesn't feel demeaned by Nancy having a sex toy with a face, so Nancy takes it way over the line and demeans Ed by having "Alex" perform sex acts on her THAT SHE REFUSES TO LET ED DO, and for good measure throws in some emasculating small dick taunting.

And then Ed caves instead of going out and getting his own robot and having it do something for him that Nancy won't do. Which is the real reason why he should feel like a big, fat, fool.

@javmor: points well taken. Had I named my character by any other name, no one would care. Lesson learned.

@sdc: Also good points. I really wasn't taking this story all that seriously, as I was more focused on the "comedy" than pretending something like this could actually happen. If anyone wants to pick up the baton and write a serious story about robot blowjob bars, you have my blessing.

Whilst thee and me may occasionally find the ongoing feud between Joe and Kimi to be an unedifying series of what you call "cheap shots", they both obviously have fun in doing what they are doing.

Nobody is forced to do anything on this site, so commenters clearly make comments purely for the personal entertainment of doing it, in the same way that authors on the site submit stories for the personal feelings gained by seeing their stories published.

And it's fairly obvious that most of the regular members of the commentariat come here with rigidly fixed attitudes and opinions, so surely nobody expects to actually 'win' an argument.

Would you be the Grinch who denied people their entertainment? Not you, Javmor, you're one of the nicer people.

Lue

I don’t think many people view anything Swingerjoe does as “good fun.” Very few people think flinging poo is fun. I think that’s mostly monkeys, Swingerjoe, and Luedon.

Try reading what I wrote. Then try to understand.

At what point did I suggest that anybody other than Joe himself should consider what he wrote as "good fun"?

Lue

When Randi wrote a "satire" about a loser who lives in his mother's basement, who has a secret crush on his mom, and works a miserable part-time job, that was HILARIOUS!

When Vandy wrote a "satire" about a "swinger" whose wife secretly hated him and left him for another man, forcing him to hook up with the local tranny, that was HIGH COMEDY!

But this? How DARE I desecrate the good name of a woman who is only here to provide us with kindness, compassion, and encouragement?! I've clearly tread on hallowed ground and touched the untouchable.

Satire is only allowed in LW as long as it pokes fun at those outside of the clique. Anything else is unacceptable.

Well, sorry, but not sorry.

if swingerjoe is defending this then it is bad.

The funny thing was that they embarrassed you for writing them into a slam story, as I recall. They both had the class to take them down after they made their point. Is yours still up? Did you write this one, doing the same thing again? Different rules for SJ?

The story you're referring to had nothing to do with Randi or Vandy. I included a couple of "cameo appearances" that apparently caused those two some butt-hurt because they identified themselves. If I really wanted to write a satire of either one of them, I had a wealth of material to work with. Instead, I merely included a couple of tongue-in-cheek appearances that apparently hit a little too close to home.

After Swinger Joe wrote his story, Luedon was all, "Satire, good fun." After the other two wrote their reply, she was all, "How could you." Not so fun when you're the one getting skewered, is it?

I have no idea. I'll let you know when I've been skewered.

The concept is so absurd that comedy seems inevitable.

If I could write, I think I'd have Ed do one visit to the bar that goes badly. The robot malfunctions and he comes out of it with sores and scrapes, but on his way out he encounters Nancy and the protesters, and rather than admit he's just made a disastrous mistake, he puts on a defiant strut and orders himself a robot.

Nancy retaliates by getting "Alex," but her robot comes from the same factory as Ed's, and she ends with the giant robot's member painfully bruising her cervix when the voice control gets stuck on "fuck me harder."

The story would end with Ed and Nancy in bed recuperating from their respective injuries and watching "Alex" and Ed's blow job bar robot performing with each other. There would need to be be some clever punchline about this being the new definition of "safe sex," but I'll be damned if I know what it would be.

Anonymouse, you may recall that the SJ story was somewhat like the current one. Joe gets an idea for a story and then (unfortunately in my view) includes in that story some names which are easily associated with members of the Randi-Kimi clique.

The retaliatory stories from Randi and Vandemonium were nothing but a return attack. Their stories had no value other than retaliation. They both did the right thing and had the stories removed from the site. All credit to them for that.

Joe's story did have value other than his use of the Vandy and Randi references. If (like this one) he had used different names it may well have been classified as a good story. That could not be said about the other two stories.

Lue

Ps: Anonymouse, if you don't wish to register a name, how about you put an identifier at the foot of your comment. That way we can have a proper conversation.

but I didnt get the Pam the chili critic part? I guess I am dense in some areas.

It was Joe's shot at Kimi.

Not lethally, not lethally! With a flower gun. ;-)

But jeez, what an annoying bitch she is, to anyone but her homies and fellow masturbators and auto-flagellants. Just sayin', 'cuz it's true.

Humor? Really?

Don't you ever get tired of kissing Swingerjoe's ass? Wow, talk about the ultimate defender of swine. As to story, a feeble attempt at humor. Failed.

I don't enjoy stories that are used to poke fun at specific people, but I understand why someone would do it to Kimi. She enjoys the sound of her own voice, and mistakes having a bitchy attitude with being "clever". Her opinions on stories aren't valid, because she judges authors by two different standards. If she likes them personally, or they associate with her girl crush, then they are good no matter how boring badly written their stories are (see sbrooks). If she dislikes them, she gives generic critiques to cover her bias and double standard.

So while i hate attacks, I have to say that I understand this one.

When oh when are the adults who frequent this site—and there are more than a few—going to remember the most fundamental rule of internet usage: Don't feed a troll. Ever. A troll's only goal is to piss people off. It doesn't take talent to be a troll, just an insatiable need to goad others into outraged responses. They're like the monsters in 50s science fiction movies—they thrive on energy, so the more vitriol you hurl at them, the more aroused they become. Nothing like a series of anonymous condemnations to give a Literotica troll the MOAO. The only way to deal with a troll is to ignore it.

Expected robot porn. Got SJW and cuck shit.

Never write again.

I don’t understand Pammy’s role in the story. Nor the chili for that matter. It would have been better if the male robot fucked Pammy’s ass while the female robot stuffed chili down Pammy’s throat.

Don’t see what all the fuss was about. So many comments about nothing.