All Comments on 'The Book of David Ch. 03'

NO! Not Ellie!

Story is getting better and better. Keep it up!

Excellent story, but very sad. Fiction should not have deaths that's for the newspaper.

VERY well done!

Man I gotta say you are the best thing smoking right now. Keep it up

Great story Its nice that for once all that clich stuff is avoided. I was sad for Ellie but it also gives something different!

Great work!

Given the twist so far I can't wait to finish the rest. Wonderful work as always. Love the ability to do what others won't, kill a person people love early. Keep it up!

i think i love you. i KNOW i love this story. i've just found you and cannot wait to read your other works. however, for now, i'm simply going to savor the gorgeousness that is david's story. thank you so much for sharing. *c

Ok lets see Ellie dies, I cry. Wanted 2 kill you. Happy that he find some friends who force him out. Almost cry again when he does. Happy about his mood after. Ps never stop hating you for killing her but will still enjoy reading.

I was really sad about ellie, and I'm glad that you made this story about the hardships of real life rather than a fantasy, makes the story so much more emotionally touching. and p.s. PLEASE CONTINUE THE ORDINARY SEX LIFE OF A TEENAGER! I didn't want ben and dawn's story to end!

Some writers on this site may or may not be successful, published authors. Who knows...I do know that investing emotionally with well established characters, in a well written, well rounded tale, is a rare, and sweet benefit for the reader. Ellie's tragic death took me by complete surprise. I felt like crying...Well done bluedragonAUTHOR...

great story so far, cant wait to read the rest of it. ellie's death took me by surprise.

love the E-beth twist except him thinking about love within a year of losing Elli is too far fetched but loving it thanks. I still hope he bangs his sister and her girlfriend who clearly wants him since watching him fuck her lil sister silly.

If my girlfriend died, (assuming I ever get one, the social reject that I am) I would be so traumatized that I would most likely live out the remainder of my life lonely, with a possible stab wound in my chest.

lol jk, but not the lonely part

I totally agree with suplup. ;x

Great series of stories. But when the phone rang, I knew that Ellie had died in the crash. And I can see the relationship with E-Beth, but not quite so soon. I had the same experience when I lost my wife. I started dating one of her friends, but, unlike David, I had realized that we would just be friends and not lovers and broke off the relationship. But, unlike David and E-Beth I do not see her any more. By the way, my name IS David. I intend to read more of the story.

Wow...just..Wow..beautiful..

The first page with Ellie's death had me crying :( I've never cried so much with a read before. The fact that David was beginning to fall in love with her and even had baby thoughts on his mind made it terribly hard to read through.

But, then the last page made me ridiculously happy. I thought it was so sweet how he did that for Elizabeth and those last paragraphs were beautiful. I think it would be awesome if they got together.

All in all this chapter had me going from extremmmmely sad to pleasently pleased with the ending. When I get done with this series there is no way I can read it again..or at least the first couple of chapters since everytime Ellie would be mentioned I would probably cry knowing she is just gonna die.

Man youare the best writer ever. I swear. You make me laugh, and relieve me when I'm horny all while deliviring a great plot. You are a great author, and at times I may not agree where the story line is going ( ie when Dave agrees to go to prom, a big emotional stronghold for most teenagers, you still used great writing to make the plot come through. You are one HELLUVA AUTHOR and if you still feel like replying, email me at duhbossmancometh@live.com. Thanks and keep up the good work!!

Just... wow. I shed a tear or two while reading the beginning of the chapter... Amazing.

You have a lot of balls to kill off someone that early in a chapter. But damn if that wasn't as realistic I as it could be. Poignant and wonderful. This is a story I would buy if I could, the sex is secondary to how much I want to hear about be characters and their lives. And that is what every writer strives for.

You killed Ellie! Bad, bad blue dragon!!

That was absolutely fucking beautiful! :). I can't ven begin to describe how happy I am with this chapter!!

The nerdy girl on the Big Bang, or E-Beth? Just curious. I've seen that show a few times and remember a nerdy girl on it that used to talk the same way E-Beth talks. Or like that other dude the 'star' of the show talked. Btwn you and me, I think the show is retarded. It can be funny I guess, but to me its mostly retarded. Anyways was just thinking if E-Beth came first, then whomever wrote her part, probably read this story. Possible they didn't even realize they'd gotten the idea from here. Or it could be the other way around. Again just curious.

And now that I'm over the pain, I can let you know just how ticked I got when I was crying over Ellie!!! Jeeze, that really hurt(s). You invested so much time into her personality, and I got to know her, then 'WHAM!'! Next thing I'm having to explain to my best friend/roommate that Ellie was killed in a car accident, and that's why I'm on my laptop bawling my eyes out. And no, she's not a real person, but I felt like she was. Really embarrassing. You see, he doesn't read, so he's looking at me like I've bumped my head or something. Or something!

It wouldn't have hurt to give warning that this chapter could make somebody emotional. I still would have read it, only I'd have been prepared. Snivel snivel.

Really good writing. You should have it published.

pobrat

What an emotional roller coaster ride you're given us. Unpredictability brilliant..

I'm not quite sure what's going to happen next, but I'm truly enjoying the ride!

Great emotions, truly hit me in the gut when Monica gave her cherry to Nate, and then another kick to the chest with Ellie's death. You gave a nice foreshadowing with E-Beth, and I'm really happy you made the emphasis on Elizabeth such a big deal for her. All in all it comes down to your attention to detail, and I'm very happy I found this story!

J

A remarkably tender story

Whew, gut punch of a story. Thoroughly enjoying this story. Not sure how I didn’t find it sooner. Such great work!

Incredibly good writing! And to think I almost skipped reading this story. Glad I didn't.

You should be a full time author. Very talented story teller. I enjoyed it immensely! Thank you.

If i hadnt read your other work i would've quit after Ellie died. But everything that happens in your stories have a purpose and im so glad i kept reading. I cant wait to see what happens next.

Ooooohhhhh!!!!! I really wanted to call you some bad names at the start of the chapter; killing off Ellie like that...most UNCOOL...YOU MADE ME 😢 CRY!! Which I do quite often anyway (my wife says...), and your is not the first to make me do so...I think it was the phone call from Ellie's dad that did it for me...I am retired Law Enforcement, and I WOULD NEVER DO A NOTIFICATION LIKE THAT...IT WAS "IN PERSON"!! Either myself, if it was my case, or another officer if it was long-distance. That is a respect thing, for anybody...would not want my family retreated that way, would not do that to anybody else.

Plus, you threw that in as a SHOCKER...commenters on previous chapter had read story before, gave a warning...still, I was gonna read for myself.

ELIZABETH...my favorite girl's name...lucky bigger, that David!!

**5**Stars!! Thank You!!