All Comments on 'The Camping Trip Ch. 03'

Loved it. Dammed good.i can't wait for the next chapter love all your stories

The author has decided to self edit but refused to heed advice to learn about the difference between where and were. He told his critics to go wright their own stories. Why didn't he say right there own storeys? Then his hero ejaculates galleons of cum. Wow! Shiploads? If he was a yank, I'd just laugh but I'm embarrassed because he is Australian. Still, he probably went to school in NSW. Maybe at Kings?

A superb continuation of an already grey story. You managed to include the family really nicely and there is actual chance to convince the dad that it was all only a dream. Though the possible alternative of a free-for-all family fun are far too alluring to let it go to waste.

One thing though, try keeping it in the family and do now widen the circle of kids fuck buddies out of it. Include the aunt and their mothers dream threesome and thus you'll have the father hooked in no-time. The rest for the fun is self explanatory - kids know and watching secret, they secretly join and no-one minds as they are all too engrossed in it.....simple as that :)

As far as the grammar goes - it doesn't matter on the greater scale of things. You are telling your story and a mistake here and there doesn't thwart the image as a whole. Those grammar nazis can spit their souls out all they want, you just stick to your plan and keep delivering.

I love how pissy critics always post anonymously.

If you're going to say it, own it. Don't be a coward.

Please don't write nonsense like this; if you ever get a real woman you'll find that it doesn't happen.

"Helen watched as Haley's vagina squirted all over the place, lathering her face in the fluid as the ejaculate spewed out all over her front, dribbling down her exposed breasts."

...To post anonymously, jerkwad. Some of the critics have their own stories on Literotica and don't need assholes like you giving them one star out of spite.

Besides, is that your real name, or just a username? You are just as anonymous, you dipshit.

when you are living in a glass house, don't start throwing stones!

Getting pissed off with others only provokes people into pointing out your own failings.

Yes, I am Registered on Literotica but the reason I Post anonymously is because I also do Editing and don't want my work mixed up with that of dimwits.

Perhaps you are right, however, why not sign anonymous comments with a "nom de comment" so that true dialogue can continue between anonymous commenters.

~Palewriter

Firstly to the person who said "To user fuckyeah123..."

I don't get it mate, are you directing the comments about anonymous feedback to me? Just in anyone for some reason thinks I have myself posted without owning my username put that to rest. If i wanted to control the comments like that wouldn't i just simply delete some of the less favorable ones?

As far as grammar and spelling is concerned ONCE again...

I've read far far worse edited stories than the ones I have posted so far where everything is just mashed together with absolutely no separating paragraphs, or where it actual becomes difficult to see who is even talking. At the end of the day if that is how you want to wright, who am I to judge or take the piss out of it. As far as I'm concerned, if you want to construct a story then good on you.

Leaving a comma or full stop out every so often, spelling poorly or even misuse of where and were certainly isn't the end of the world, and judging by the vast majority of votes, I believe I'm not the only one who thinks that.

To me, the story line its self is far more important than grammatical errors. After all isn't that one of the big ideas of this website? To give amateurs or even simply people with absolutely no experience the chance to post a story of their own?

If grammar, spelling and punctuation are truly more important to you, go out and buy a professional published novel from a book store and blow your load over the magnificence of how well the author and editor has constructed their book. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself :D)

If you simply want to critique every time I've used "your" in place of "you're" accidentally in some attempt to show off your amazing English editorial skills I honestly couldn't care less.

At the end of the day I will continue to post stories with shit spelling and next to no grammatical correctness. As long as I at least attempt to keep the story interesting that's all I care for.

Oh and for those of you who post anonymously yet DO have an account with literotica... Try to have the balls to post with your user name rather than worry about some low life deciding to give one of your story a bad rating. I for one have hundreds of votes on my stories be those votes good or bad, so I cant imagine some tool who wants to rate me poorly is going to affect the overall rating in the grand scheme of things.

Sincerely, Ben (is that my real first name??? You'll never know for sure so deal with it)

PS... Seriously Anonymous users... Crikey, don't you think its time you fucking grow a set??? ;p

To everyone else, hope you had a good read!

Was very good, I don't understand the debate about who is posting what.

Yes Anon women do squrit

Great story and updates from Mom !! Its obvious that Alex, Haley and Mom will still be doing sexual activities once they get home and Mom will straighten hubby out. Hopefully, the 3-some will continue with Mom as the teacher ....... Hot and please write more. Thanks !!

The purpose of language (written or spoken)is to communicate. If it achieves that then it has served it's purpose. Sometimes I see small grammatical mistakes and they jar a little but that does not really detract from the story - and these are free amateur stories.

The stories I do find difficult to read are those where names are frequently switched or a person is in two places at once because the wrong name has been used. These are very difficult to follow and understand what the author intends. This is NOT a problem with this story that is relatively easy to read, and written at appropriate speed and detail.

As for technical issues (buckets of cum, floods of girl cum), this is fantasy folks and a little bit of exaggeration is to be expected.

Chapter 03 was a little more difficult to believe but it was always going to be a difficult one to make believable. Overall, the author made a relatively good job of it and I enjoyed it. I did wonder why Hayley didn't take her mother's place and seduce her dad while he was too drunk to realise what was happening - but I am sure the author has something in mind instead. Overall - I give it 5*.

As for dispensing with your editor - I didn't see a big issue. Don't worry too much about minor technical language issues as long as you keep telling the story at at a good pace and level of detail. The main thing to look for when reviewing your story is continuity errors (so far - not an issue) that can make the story too confusing to read with enjoyment.

I'm so nice not to read petty comments from people who simply seem to want to have a winge about a couple of commas I left out or a few misspelt words so thanks for that.

As for any believability issues, I do have to admit I have to stop righting for hours sometimes days at a time to gather myself and try get any specific ideas I've had into the story line to make it seem realistic as possible.

Sometimes it's a tad impossible to do so without adding some impossibilities to the storyline so thanks for overlooking those and I'm glad people are enjoying reading as much as I enjoy wrighting :)

Looking forward to Helen's sister joining. Richard might enjoy himself also

Only child here, never had fantasies about parent/child relationships, only about sibling relationships. So up until this chapter, I was enjoying the situation, I guess for me, the mother joining in ruined it for me, its gross to me. But I won't knock it, because obviously there are people that do enjoy it.

GOOD: A rollicking story of adolescent sexual discovery with believable likable characters, plenty of illicit sex, vivid descriptions of the acts involved and a plausible, for the most part storyline.

BAD: Minor technical language issues: e.g.

1.sisters bowels (sister’s)

2. de mount (dismount)

3. arise any suspicion (rouse)

4. emerged from the tent (-one by one)

5. camp fire (campfire)

6. make a mends (amends)

7.the twin’s reactions (the twins’)

8. re-visited (revisited)

9. girls pussy (girl’s)

10. where looking (were)

11. rent to resume (went)

12. Helens hands (Helens’)

13. waist band (waistband)

14. referring too right (to)

15. 3am (-in the morning)

16. bush land (bushland)

17. gaging (gagging)

18-19. Helens nose was now toughing his chest (Helen’s) (touching)

20. re aligned (realigned)

21. rose bud (rosebud)

22. galleons of sperm (gallons)

23. nights activities (night’s)

UGLY: The supremely arrogant attitude that miserably fails to provide objective justification for doing writing that is lackluster at its pinnacle of effectiveness: “I had a crack at the editing on this one myself. I don't have any university degrees on story editing like some of the people on this site (I have never heard of “any university degrees on story editing”) , but if you don't think the punctuation and grammar is UP TO SCRATCH, go WRIGHT your own story.“ “I have to stop RIGHTING . . . try (to) get any specific ideas” I don’t think this defense is WRITE on many levels. I will defend my ignorance to the death. I will never try to improve my writing. Piss poor is my standard and I will adhere to it without change forever. A writer does not need a facile command of the English language, that is relegated to the reader.

Lewis Carroll, the noted English author once opined words to the effect that words mean whatever I choose them to mean. LC would be proud.

DARE TO BE IGNORANT AND DO SO AT THE TOP OF YOUR VOICE!!!!!

Did I strike a nerve with that comment? Who's more arrogent, the person who commented on my grammar ever after I let that smart arsed comment or the person who simply wants to edit his own story?

Getting someone else to do your work for you is a sure fire way of learning exactly NOTHING. I would rather make a mistake and attempt to learn from it rather than have someone automatically fix them all up. I've got no problem with constructive criticism, but when people bring anger into their comments just as you have done, the whole constructive side of it kind of drops off the radar there.

The truth of the matter is this, all writers (no exceptions) learn more effectively with a good editor... and not only for grammar, spelling, etc. The quality of your storytelling will greatly profit if you put hubris aside and get one or more sets of other eyes to read and comment.

I didn't read your story and won't. I hope you continue to write. If you absolutely refuse to get an editor read your story aloud several times and at least once from back to front one sentence at a time. It really helps.

(I really need an editor for my comments)

when the comments are more entertaining than the story.

thanks

I enjoyed one and two. Keep up the good work. As far as the editing comments go I really wouldn't let them bother me. Just keep writing. I don't care if you use to or too just keep the story going and keep writing. You are doing a very good job.

Came to the end of three to put it in my favorites so I could find it and read it tonight. I"m sure I'll enjoy it as well.

It would appear that after one Obtains a College Degree they have Nothing better to do than make Rude Comments about your writing Abilites.. Do they NOT UNDERSTAND the degree of difficulty in writing with 'One Hand '. This is a Story to make the reader Aroused, not elicit unwanted comments. Keep writing, 'Practice makes Perfect '. ...☺

I don't think I want to read the next chapter. Hate it when they bring in another male.

Woo hoo! You got it all here. Reefer madness. Poor dad laid out: One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor... plus Kinky booties and galleons of sperm. (Were they Spanish or Imperial galleons, one must ask.) What a ride. Damn hot!