All Comments on 'The Clan Ch. 00-01'

by Tarkas3

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  • 12 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Nice but there's problems...

I absolutely loved the story itself. Very inventive with potential to go on for quite a long while. The biggest drawbacks, however, were the typographical errors and some sentence structure problems. I also noticed a few spots where punctuation was off or completely wrong.

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Now, don't mistake me one bit- it's a VERY hot story. But many (most) people can lose the mood a story creates if they have to concentrate on deciphering what the author is trying to say.

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For the sake of your stories AND your audience, you would do well to find a beta reader or editor. Get these stories as clean as possible and you will be well rewarded for your efforts. Trust me on this one!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Great story

I loved your story, can't wait to hear the other 19.

AhabscribeAhabscribealmost 17 years ago
A wonderful beginning!

A brilliant plot idea...I'm looking forward to hearing the rest of the stories...very exciting indeed!

AgnolAgnolalmost 17 years ago
Ambitious Project

Really hope to see this through to the end. Great start.

poirier9poirier9almost 17 years ago
Very interesting plot!!

Great start! You have are our attention right from the start! Keep up the great work and please continue this hot story!! Thank you!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
great story

An excellant beginning!!!!!Please continue!!!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Great

Great beginning.Hope it doesnt fizzles out.

Keep it up!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Great

Great story. Part 1 of 20 I hope. Do avail yourself of a proof reader though. You are too good of a story teller to allow the distraction caused by typos.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
HOT damn.

I was hooked after the first few paragraphs, anticipating what was to come. You delivered! Minor errors don't bother me. I judge a story on the crotch-pressure scale. For this one I had to remove my pants and switch to one-handed reading.

m6996jm6996jalmost 17 years ago
gentle love

i like it i love it i wont more of it. please continue

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Excellent

Excellent story. Mother-fucking is always fun. Having the son fuck his mother two times and cum inside her both times was quite arousing. I enjoyed masturbating while reading that. All I can add is: more mother-fucking.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
THE great saga of motherfucking

What an incredibly brilliant and original concept of motherfucking! Jeremy and his pal Benny talk the other 18 boys step by step on to the path of fucking their own mothers. As they listen, the boys are stunned, they grin idiotically at each other, they mumble, they're convinced, they get very hard. Jeremy asks, So, who wants to fuck his Mom? All the hands go up. Then, Who's so hard he has to relieve himself? A bunch of the lads go outside, amidst general laughter. Jeremy and gradually all the other guys realize that they're natural born motherfuckers, as are all normal healthy boys. They each make their plans about how to get their stiff dicks up between their Mom's widespread legs. One way or another, every one of the young guys will experience the ultimate triumph of every son. They shove their throbbing young pricks up the same glorious cunt they came out of, and they blow their young potent balls up the greatest fucken twat in the whole fucken world--their Mom's!

Anonymous
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