All Comments on 'The Club: A Beginning'

Can't wait to read more of this story.

It has far too much going for it to leave it here. I loved every word of it -- well done, and please have five stars.

You have me interested, but I'm not sure I like it. I'm fuddy-duddy enough to have a visceral negative reaction to cheating situations. Usually I want the back story, but with cheaters it almost always comes down to the unfulfilled needs blah blah blah.

Sire seems a bit pretentious, but it's not a major thing. It's a power imbalance relationship, but his rules and his alloof portrayal are worrisome. It appears to be one of those all-or-nothing relationships. No mention of a safeword. My way or the highway. Not, I'll keep you safe but don't embarrass me. I am doubtful of his protection. The repeated comments about her asking for this feel like a threat, not a reassurance to readers that this is consensual.

This is happening in her own town? She is not to know who will use her, but will that simple mask safeguard her identity? You've given her a marriage and sensitive job, will you ruin her life for the irresistible pull of Mr Mystery Master and a faucet running between her legs?

The temperature change from a steamy bathroom to the chilled bedroom is potent, but who would put on a full suite while in a steamy bathroom? Ick.

This is definitely worth continuing, depending on how it continues. Are you planning, and looking for suggestions, to subject her to a lengthy list of every possible kink that can be done to her over three days time? Do you want a checklist and cast of thousands? Others must have his permission, so does that mean she must additionally accept that her precious sire allows whatever transpires, given it may not all be good for her? What does his protection really mean in this situation? How well does he know her real desires, her limits, what is enough? Is his rule of not caring about her needs part of the game or an ugly truth? Does the dude understand not all harm is physical? How is she to return from an elementary teacher conference stripe like a tiger and blackmailed by people she knows?

Are you interested in making it more than the usual? Will she be challenged and show her master in a good light while being personally fulfilled and protected?

Oh, and please not another damn pain and humiliation slut/whore/cunt.

This is an awesome start. Not too much detail, but just enough to paint a picture. I have butterflies in my stomach for her. Very interested to see where this goes!!

Great start, good teasers to get my attention, liked the scissor action.

MORE !

VERY WELL WRITTEN !

Well written. Please continue and as for suggestions, I suspect you know what goes on at a club. Given she is where she lives and works I am interested to see how Sire protects her. I also wonder what Sire will allow to be done to her as she only has three days or is this going to lead to full time with Sire and end her marriage. I am not one that condones cheating either, so how that is dealt with in a club where she lives will be interesting to see. I don't think you have called her demeaning names and it would be nice to see this interaction continue without the humiliating names, even from other club members.

I wanted to ask why so many of the story writers including you like to cut the clothes off. Have you been out to buy clothes lately? She made a special effort to wear a bra and panty set she thought he would like and he even destroyed it. What a shame to ruin something she put effort into just for Sire.

Wow

Indeed a beginning and I look forward to continued installments.

One thing...why did she ask to be taken there? Worth exploring perhaps?

Tantalizing start. Need a flashback to understand her relationship with Sire

Please continue your story, this was amazing and I need more!