All Comments on 'The Cotillion'

excellent modern take on a classic

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Waiting for another of your stories was worth the wait!!!

Enjoyed it as I always do with your stories. I will hide under the veil of anonymity for this comment since I too write on this site and have achieved a few coveted red H's. But I don't want to admit to my username when I write like Peter danced compared to your George-like ballet of words. Your characters are real, the reader rises and falls with their emotional state. Since the framework was known, the challenge was probably greater given we knew where it was going. That didn't detract from the tale at all, it was fun, engaging, well written and presented a nice modern twist on a classic. Thank you for an excellent read, a chuckle or two and a great start to the day.

Would you mind if I point something out? It's aloo tikki, not kikki. Everything else is great :)

it's a very interesting story ,

i have to admit though that the first 3-4 pages sounded cliched and when i was just about to quit the FBI angle turned it around and i am glad that i finished it.

I knew I was in for a treat when I saw you had posted a new story and I wasn't disappointed. Thoroughly enjoyable read that only left me confused with the Jaq and Gus name mixups (I guess that was the noir). Given the underlying basis of the story I also had to chuckle at her alias and her name when put together, Cindy and Ella, too funny. Other little humorous items abound and all in all it made for a nice modern twist on an old tale. Thanks for gracing us, yet again, with a wonderful gift.

I admire the way you were able to keep so much of the story while making it completely new. Well done indeed. Well done enough that your self-editing wasn't frightening at all.

But a little disappointed by no 'bippity boppity boo' from the seamstress. Was Gus a bit chunky? You write so well. Five of the starry things for you.

Good story with some predictable moments.

Predictable as all get out but what a wonderful romance! Hats off to DC for a creative take on a classic.

I thoroughly enjoyed your story, recognizing what a challenge you had bringing something new to the tale. The FBI piece was a delight...what a neat twist. The characters have stuck with me all day.

Of course, nobody has seen Cinderella. !!

A bit long, perhaps (maybe in two parts?) for reading late at night but you have a good grasp of humour in what is quite a taut story line.

If there's ever another part, I would dearly love to hear of Agnus and the 300lb dyke; and not all lopvey-dovey.!

Thank you

HP

Recognizing the Cinderella framework was actually a boon; I relaxed into the story knowing that Agnus really would get hers eventually. I was also tickled by the 500% increase in plot-relevant footwear over the original story: tales do get exaggerated with retelling, after all.

As always, thanks very much for sharing your story, talent, and the joy which clearly underlies both.

A charming love story, expertly told. DreamCloud is one of the most distinguished authors on this site.

NICE !!!!!

I really, really, really enjoyed this story. A modern day Cinderella story with a twist.

Fun read. Always like the positive stories.

I love this story. Wonderful job.

Very entertaining and i like how you beautifully paint a picture with words!

two thumps up!

You're one of my few favorite authors on this site, and this story is a great example of why.

Taking Cinderella and bringing her into the 21st century was simply a fun enjoyable read. Can't help myself, but I like happy endings. Thank You.

Of course, I really wouldn't want what I think of as noir. I like your stories just as they are.

Well done.

and laughed et each and every one. The puns, word play, and name games were fun.

thanks for an entertaining story.

Great spin on old story. Never seen one better.

Yes, definitely a good spin on Cinderella.

Very enjoyable, thank you for this.

When I saw you had posted a new story, I got super excited and immediately book-marked it for reading! :-) I loved your other recent story, 'The Festival', a lot - the Romance genre is definitely your forte!

Coming to this story, I really enjoyed it from start to finish. It was Cinderella-ish with a very today setting, nevertheless extremely entertaining. I also loved that you used sex as an emotional outlet - its not just about super hot and steamy physical pleasure, but rather a way to connect your characters emotionally, and the way you write the sex scenes make the butterflies in my stomach flutter, lol!

The whole FBI angle and court case plot had me on the edge of my seat, but like Cinderella, all's well that ends well! Awaiting the next story eagerly!

PS: I am of Indian origin, so I hope you don't mind me letting you know that the only mistake I noticed in your story is that the fried potato dish is called 'aloo tikki', not 'aloo kikki' ;-)

I'm a guy and I liked it.

You gave us a good story, one more. Was the joke on the evil stepmother voluntary?

It’s funny to see such a « wicked » character named « lamb ». Agnus is the latin form of the word « lamb » , but I’m sure you knew it. And you couldn’t name your character « bitch » or « barracuda » .

Thank you for your excellent stories

I don't know why this was making me so nuts - maybe it was too much time on her situation, but all I kept thinking was all she has to do is contest the will and bring in the evidence of misappropriation of funds along with the whole janitor. Even if she can't get the inheritance early, she'd be able to get a new, court appointed manager.

Good writing, just personally got too frustrated.

Much too long. Should have been in chapters. Nice modern twist on Cinderella. A bit sappy, but readable.

An absolute treat. Thank you very much.

Captured my attention on the first page any held it to the end. Worth 10 stars!

I agree with one of the anonymous contributors in that up until the end I was wondering why she didn't just get a lawyer and find out why she was getting screwed.

But, that aside, I very much enjoyed the story and was glad to see the Agnus 'got hers' in the end and Ella found her prince.

I'm glad I read the other comments. I had missed the 'Cindy-Ella' play on words for the names!

I really enjoyed the story. At first I was nervous about it being predictable but I love how you told the story with surprises. For instance, Peter knows who she is and the future mother-law uses the shoes to find her. One of my favorites stories! Well done

Was Beatrice (makeup) humming Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo?

Wonderful story! I know it's going to be good day whenever I see you post something new.

Thanks!

I love feel good stories!!! Good writing. I would give your story a six if I could!

Your story grabbed me right from the start and pulled me in. I ended up reading it start to finish in one sitting. Finished at 4 AM! I'm slow. Loved how you wove modern day themes around the core of a classic fantasy. Sad to say, I totally missed the Cindy-Ella connection until I read another readers comments. True genius. Was glad to see Raj and his family ended up coming out of the story smelling like a rose and that Raj hacks the FBI files for Peter to get the video. Another wonder story. Look forward to your next one.

As always, an entertaining story with a modern Cinderella theme.

BTW, it's "aloo tikki" not "aloo kikki", and yes, even today inter caste marriages are not only frowned upon in some areas but lead to so-called "honour" killings.

As I have come expect of every story authored by you...a pleasure to read!!!

A real joy to read. I have read all your works. You have quite a talent. They are by far the best I've read on this website. Please keep providing us with your words. THANKS... Their great!

What a delightful modern twist on a timeless tale.

I always look forward to reading your your stories. I've yet to be disappointed. Another very good read this time. I love the way you set the story up. Thanks again

Dream Cloud,

I loved the story, b/c I love happy endings. You have no idea how much of my own personal life has been represented in your story, albeit by happenstance. The law, the false charges, the evil step-mother, and love found. Yep! It's a lot of relevance for me.

Keep writing and I'll keep the hankies handy!

Exonerated

You have written some great stories but this by far is one of the best

Such a beautifully heart warming story of true love. Thank you

I was thrown off by Agnus, which is correct Latin spelling, though that is the masculine form. The woman's name is usually spelled Agnes, but I had to laugh when it was (likely autocorrected) as Angus, which makes me think of beef.

excellent story! I could "ditto" all of the positive comments here! Thank you for writing! I noticed the Cindy and Ella while reading the story. It was so nice that Peter accepted Ella's story so quickly after the cotillion, and stood with her to help her after his own rantings riled up the FBI and Army!

Pre entree appetizers are hors d'oeuvres, not au dourves

The bits of hair that are loose from an updo are called tendrils, not tails

Very cute, charming story. I read this because I was looking for regency or other period piece type stories, but this was sweet and well done.

This was sweet and funny and much needed, thank you.

P.S: its Aloo tikki..(if any cares).... :))..made me laugh as Aloo kikki,,and also the one about shaving that guys sideburns off.

sam

shadowysam@gmail.com

This story grabbed me in a choke hold I couldn't get out of. I was so engrossed with it I was almost late for work, and I'm a hopeless workaholic. I had to finish it as soon as I got home. A talented writer has the ability to offer the details that paints a vivid picture in their reader's mind & endears them to the characters, however small like Tom & Jerry, and you do such an excellent job. Thanks for your posting, I look forward to reading more of your writing.

You should write a lot more of these types of stories, I have read almost everything you have submitted and you are definitely one of the best, keep up the great writing.

You've done it again & written a wonderful story.

I truly enjoy your word usage to set a scene & have believable characters with strong emotions.

I have a strong visual memory, and your words clearly paint a picture in my mind.

Yes, I am reading "just words," but as I read the images you depict flow through my mind as if I was watching a movie.

Absolutely wonderful.

Keep up the fine work.

Well, it's one in the morning and later than I had planned on staying up by a ways. But I could not go to bed with this story unfinished.

Well done. Very well done.

Great story, couldn't put it down once i started reading. Personally i felt you could have fleshed out his original anger towards her rather then have him forgive her immediately. However it turned out nicely~ i look forward to reading more of yo- OH ive already read some of your other stories XD

The story was great and flowing.had a great time reading it

Thanks.

niestar

A great remake of the Disney classic. Loved the story.

It was a great book it's just I had some problems pertaining to how rushed it was. I feel as if he shouldn't have forgave her so quickly and I think that the "I Love you"s came waaaaay sooner than need be. I think this story had a lot of potential, if, of course, it was slowed down and added more moments where you could see what kind of person Charming was. It was good...but it had the material to be brilliant.

New favorite.

Very clever. Thanks for sharing.

This story brought the Cinderella story into the 21st Century. A brilliant retelling of the old story, only better. A little long, but every page was worth it.

Thanks for posting. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I have been reading several of your stories and enjoying all the ones I have read. Thank you for writing and for sharing them with us.

I did notice your use of the word 'comprised' in reference to the network that was attacked. It makes more sense to me to use 'compromised' instead.

This is the first of your works I have read, and I must say: you show the aptitude of a gifted artisan. I look forward to reading more of your work, and hope to watch you hone your craft. Best wishes, and many thanks; for the story, and the example it sets.

I'll definitely keep an eye out for your other work.

Excellent piece of writing!

What romance. Loved it. I really like bad guys getting theirs and the good guys living happily ever after.

MORE!!!!!! (please)

A fantastic story! I loved it. Laughed out loud several times; your character's dialogue and witty rejoinders matched their personalities and occupations perfectly. More, please!

Loved the spin on Cinderella story. Was hoping the step-sisters would get what they deserved. Was satisfied Angus got her justice. Sadly I found the mis-spelling of Agnus distracting to the read. Spellcheck or an editor would have remedied it. Otherwise a beautiful tale that pulled out many emotions and left me on a very high note! I love the romance category. Your writing does this category justice!

Well done DC, this one put u in my top 4.

Alphabetical order ONLY.

DC, MP, SS06, SWMOH

KEEP IT UP!!!!!!

i audibly laughed a few times, not just the half smirk that usually gets called LOL

Great story. Happy ending. Thank you for sharing.

All I can say is that this is the single most amazing story that I have read here, Thank You Dream Cloud for gracing us with your prose...

Bright Blessings to You & Yours.

It made very good reading from start to finish. When is your next one coming up?

This was one Awesome story could'nt stop reading it.

Hell of a sexy, romantic Cinderella. Bravo

I have read several of your stories and find you to be an incredibly gifted story teller. You have the knack of keeping a reader enthralled from beginning to end and while there is sex involved, it is proportioned correctly. Bravo!

It is fantastic how you weave love, sex, & romance seemlessly into your stories. Thank you for sharing them.

Well you kind of created or one should say redefined Cindrella

Please write a part 2. I beg you. Please continue Peter and Elle's story . Please!

Please don't leave me hanging write some more PLEASE

This is a fairy tale I need to keep reading, I laughed and cried along with ella. Please please please continue it.

That was a seriously fun read! Thanks!

I thought I had discovered my favorite authors on this site. They have been surpassed by DreamCloud. I have read maybe 4 stories so far and they just keep getting better and better. This one is my favorite. There are not enough words to describe accurately how wonderful this story is. Hopefully there will be many sequels to come.

I love a happy ending, there aren't enough of them anymore. I also adore fairy tales and this is perhaps the best modern twist on Cinderella ever created. For those commenters wanting more, I thank you for having the sense not to make a part 2 for Ella and Peter. Fairy tales aren't meant to be dragged out past the happy ending, because readers enjoy drama, and drama has a bad habit of ripping a perfectly happy couple apart before sewing them up together again. That's why movie sequels tend to bomb when they try to extend a romance that has already reached perfection. I would however, very much enjoy reading another fairy tale twist. Perhaps Snow White in a modern setting has her own problems most of us might never have considered? I can't get over the ingenuity of how perfectly you set Cinderella up as a janitor, prevented from inheriting her own company... I never could have thought of it. And then you magnificently carried the story beyond the fairy tale boundaries by including the pieces with the FBI and the climactic courtroom scenes, and resolving everything without a hitch and tying the happy ending up seamlessly with a nice little bow. All the while you manage character development, personalities, humor, compassion, etc. with a natural skill that most people have to take classes to develop in their own writings. I don't know how much you write from your own experience, but I just wanted to add that you're spot on when you write about being in love. Before it happened to me I held a cynical distaste for such writings, thinking that nothing was ever that perfect or sappy. One could dream, maybe. Every relationship has problems though, the sappy effortless kind of love, such as the one you wrote in this story, I thought didn't exist. And every relationship does have problems... But when real love develops, be it in an instant or over the course of several months, it IS sappy and perfect and seems to melt all those problems away. And then it's exactly like you described in this story. So I don't know how much realism you were aiming for, but you achieved it :)

Keep up the wonderful work. I never comment on here, but I found your story to be my favorite (I've read some of your other ones, which were also great, I just have a thing for fairy tales) and so I felt the urge to pet your ego, which with your talent deserves every syllable of praise uttered. I know when I used to create stuff, I did it in part for the creative outlet it created for myself, but also I fed on every comment of awe or praise. Giving comments has never been in my repertoire unless I have a true admiration for the work created. In such cases, I unleash every molecule of praise I can muster, hence why this comment is so long. I'll end it here though, so as not to bore you and let you (hopefully) get back to more writing.

I found the entire story to be really formulaic.

How the heck you write like this...?

This is the second of your romances I have read and thoroughly enjoyed both.

I have read all of your work and if I ever actually sign up for an account you'll be listed as a favorite author. Several of your stories I think could be turned into "made for TV movies". Keep up the excellent writing.

There are several comments on the correct spelling of an Indian dish, but NOBODY saw the misspelling of "hors d'oeuvres"???

Jesus wept.

Sometimes the comments can be almost as entertaining as the story.

A well crafted twist on the Cinderella fable and the clever transition into modern day technology was admittedly a little contrived.

What does that take from a well written story from an author with a refreshing voice that they are willing to share with the audience for comments such as these for compensation.

If you can do better, put yourself out there and risk the ire of the lazy bums who have absolutely no talent or desire to be more than a watcher as life passes

Only living to see the world as less than what it is giving them, not what they are making of it.

Good job, ignore the ignoramus and grammar Nazis who can't parse two coherent words together in speech or on paper.

What a delightful little tale! Thank you. It was missing so much of the (forced) lack of communication that so many romances seem to be built around. Thank you for sharing your interpretation of the Cinderella story.

VisualPerv

Thank you for the fun you provided to readers who watch the elegant way that the well know lines of the Cinderella story are laid along a wholly modern trail of plot development.

Very Good read. I love the fact that you inserted Jaq and Gus into the story. You should do more

A fun read. I haven't enjoyed a fairytale since Ann Rice's Claiming Sleeping Beauty. Thanks

This could easily be adapted for a screenplay as another romcom. Hmm I,d try to cast Emma Watson as Ella, maybe Kunal Nayyar as Raj , Jaime Pressley as Agnus (She'd play a great bitch) And maybe an Ashton Kutcher type as Peter.(he's a little old)

...but I want to say I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Thank you!

Best teen/adult version for Cinderella. Not a fan of chick flicks but I would watch this one for sure if it made it to the big screen. U perfectly got the point of this site...it's not just about sex its about the story around it. Thanku for this wonderful story.

Instead of Peter you might have named him Vincent as in "Vince Charming"

You are truly gifted! Awesome!