by Evil Alpaca
Is mentioned in the New Stories Review thread on the Author's Hangout.
The end?? Does this mean this tale is over?Already?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Loved it bytheway .
I hope it's not really the end - it's a good stopping point for the chapter, but what happens in the war with the Savages, what happened to the Seattle Kingdom?
Anyways, apart from that minor detail, a great read. Looking forward to more stuff from you (soon please!)
You are one of my favorite authors. I was not disappointed by this story. Is this the end of the story or will it continue?
...absolutely deserved a 5 full score!
Please make it series... like your other great series...
I hope you'll find inspirations...
the pacing was off, the timing was definatly off, the traveling for months and no seasonal change... and a couple other things i can't think of bugged me about the story, characters were kinda one dimensonal... a little too predictible. parts of the story just seem glazed over, not enough description... basically seems kinda rushed, i've read most of your other stories and i enjoy them very much. this one... not so much also could have used more finite info on the weapons used and their capacities aswell as more descriptions on how much ammo they had available and what was being expeneded... and how that one character lost their eye would have been useful
Read all your other stories and somehow missed this one - a mistake I had to correct! As usual, I loved it... I'm a sucker for a great plot with hotties and action ^_^
impressively epic given how short it is... writing skills! i really enjoyed it, thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this story.
Page 4 was A M A Z I N G. I have never read such a insightful description of comradeship.
I really enjoyed the story...read both parts in one sitting. However, an editor would have been helpful to clean up some repeated words or parts of sentences. These things don't ruin the story, but they can be very distracting. In particular.....you commonly misused the words "your" and " you're." The first implies possession, while the second is an abbreviated form of "you are." When you use them incorrectly it totally messes up the sentence. The same mistake is made by numerous authors here. Again, it's not a fatal error, but is distracting. I enjoy your work. Keep writing.
Thank you for sharing this story. I couldn't stop reading it until it was done. It was beautiful, and the twists and turns kept me on my feet. I will certainly be reading more of your work. I really liked the good ending. You kept setting it up to look like they'd be separated, especially during the Battle of the Bridge.
Evil, evil just in case of your writing talent, becoming sucked into your stories and have to read them ..... Every story its an own masterpiece with fabulous tales
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