All Comments on 'The Cuckold Diet Challenge Ch. 08'

You pulled some twists at the last minute, but still managed to make it work in a natural way. Well done.

Rick read like a real guy, just trying to do what's right while also trying to do what will make him and those he cares about happy. May not be a BTB fantasy, but it was a hell of a compelling read.

I enjoyed reading your new chapters.

Thank you

But, your ending was predictable.

If he was just Joe 6 pack, instead of Mr. Smartest man in the room with unlimited money who gets his house wired to prevent future attempts to trick bag him, he'd have been sitting in jail forever courtesy of the wife and Shelly's setups and phony stories. The wife had been married to him for years, yet she admitted she'd destroy him in a heart beat for big "Meat' and being allowed to Walk On the Wild Side. She deserved no mercy. 1 *

After she signed the papers he should've burned her deep and hard anyway.

You can be proud of this story. Fluent writing, good plot and few twists, just great. If some readers say the ending was predictable, don't pay attention, that's easy to say. The chances are always 50% with yes he's taking her back or no they go for divorce.

I liked the soft landing although he could have destroyed her. Nobody gains in the end and the children are the victims. So good choice. Let some more stories come our way. Thanks.

Excellent finish. All the fucking cunt had to do was stay faithful. Stupid bitch couldn't, and now she 's the fat fuck needing a trainer. Except she's alone. Fuck her. Way to go. man. We think alike. On to the next fucked up tale.

Great read...a compelling page turner story line...solid writing and Rick was a stand up guy who was not a wimp chuck. Kind of like the real world. Really enjoyed it.

5x5

"But, your ending was predictable."

The ending was no more predictible than real life. But it was one of the best stories yet.

After the way you ended chapter 7, I had no idea how you could possibly make the story work, and didn't think you could. I was wrong. Excellent ending, nice little twist, and I didn't detest any of them at the end. He seemed to genuinely want to make his family work, and she got stupid, but wasn't an evil bitch, but the stunt she pulled was enough for me not to feel sorry for her, after you'd gone through all that trouble to make her seem halfway decent. Hell, I almost liked Shelly at the end. Felt bad for the intern Gina, but all in all amazing finish to a really crappy original story. 5*

I did have my doubts as to where this was heading, but at the end aou managed to turn it all back to the way it should be. Some masterpiece you have surprised us with. Extraordinary character developement. Don´t you dare stop writing!! 5*

The story wobbled in a few installments, but never fell down and finished very strong. I have to repeat an admiring speculation that FTDDS is an alter ego of TexasTallTales. 5*s regardless.

Knew they were going to be divorced. Just didn't know the final reason. Ok She turned into a size queen. Got it. Now she's just a fat assed divorced 45 year old woman. Too bad. She deserved it. He still should have burned them, especially after the last twist/stunt they pulled. Danielle and Shelly could never stop lying. Stupid women. And what was up with Angela?

The whole series turned out great. Just a little tedious. 5 Big stars and kudos for a very good read. Thanks for finishing a POS first story.

Just a few questions. "Who T F is John?" Why did you even bother introducing him? Especially through the kids. Second, Who is Teri? I guess this was a typo. Did you not mean Tina? Finally, it seems now a days everybody goes to counseling. Why did that not come up at least once? That was kind of strange. Oh well enough said.

Not going to suggest an epilogue to clear up introduced and unexplained characters. Don't think it's necessary now.

but I think it went a little long and mistakes were made due to that. Toni became Teri in the last installment. John, as someone has already mentioned, was never explained.

I did enjoy most of it so good job. I'm sure that you've found plenty of stories that need finishing so I'll be watching for them.

Not the ending I expected. I figured they wouldn't end up together. I just thought it would be because of the difficulty in getting over what she did - the dynamic of the relationship had been damaged beyond repair. Unfortunately, it ended playing into a some of the more popular beliefs on this site - once a cheat, always a cheat - once she gets a big cock in her, she will never be able to give it up. I wanted to believe that love could conquer their mistakes. You had us believing that. I guess the wife had been honest in how much she loved him and wanted the marriage - even in the end she was convincing in her desperation. However, she was mesmerized by big cock and just couldn't resist. Such is life. You may not have burned the bitch, but you did burn any notion of hope in this world.

who knows what will be caught in the web. TK U MLJ LV NV

She:cuckolded him, forced him to eat a creampie, lied to him repeatedly, humiliated him in front of friends family and neighbors, cuckolded him again and then again. Finally she framed him for felony domestic violence.

So tell what would she and Shelly have to have done for him to actually get angry, kill one of the kids?

It's time you started writing your own stories because you are more that good enough to do that. It would not be too hard since all of the themes are the same and the results are all fairly predictable varying according to what your outlook at how humanity should operate.

It means giving up the idea that you can finish the story better than the original author but you can handle that.

Good story. Another scenario that works is that John was Danielle's boss Jonathan-gps shows going to work and back and lunches. All with John-Jonathan- how convenient to screw at the office early or late in the evening. But Danielle to fall for a lowlife like meat-how unsophisticated is that.

The first couple of chapters started off great but way to many twists and turns that not only added nothing to the story but dragged it out unnecessarily along with a main character whose IQ level raised and lowered way to much just for the sake of yet another twist.

In the end Rick let Danielle off way to easily imho. After all the cheating, lies, humiliation she then tries to send him to prison for domestic violence which would not only see him in jail but cost him his career and access to his kids. Once she pulled her last retarded plan to frame him he should of gone nuclear on her ass but sadly he was all talk and no action.

Overall I think a good two and a half chapters could of been shaved off this story to cut down the boring and repetitive flip flopping of the main character, plot twists for the sake of plot twists and maybe giving Rick a much needed backbone.

"John" was never explained at all (Gina and Jenny were the teenagers and working late was just the slut working late I take it?) and I honestly feel trowing out misleading Red Herrings that are never explained is just piss poor story telling.

could have been done in two chapters. Too many "I'm sorry", I screwed up, Forgive me." for my taste. As a writer of BTB stories I obviously would have much rather seen the nuclear ending with total destruction of the wife.

Oh well.

FTDS you are a good writer. I agree with some of the other comments, you should write some new stories and not just try to finish other authors incomplete works.

Dr_Know

After several chapters of BTB setup... nothing. The character development failed to give resolution to the WHY questions. Why did the wife go off thinking that her original response was rational? Was Shelley simply and chronically stupid? Why did Angela's response change so dramatically? And most importantly why did Rick forgo his planned vengeful response with everyone (except the big dick)? With the extensive lengths documenting Rick's pain, the rapid and relatively painless finale had too much deaus ex machina in it and felt rushed. It was almost like the author read some of the critical responses that said it was taking too long to finish the story and just wanted to end it. The story had promise and the author has skill but the promise for this story was ultimately unfulfilled.

that piece of shit is over.

I suspect "John" is friends with the kids, based on the context, but other readers are correct, John is never explained. There were a few other loose ends -- I doubt the authorities would easily drop fraud and conspiracy charges against Shelley and Danielle for trying to frame Rick for battery and domestic violence.

Maybe because Danielle is a lawyer she might get to plead to a lesser charge (the system is corrupt, let's face it) with mandatory psych counseling. At the least, her law license would be suspended. Rick can't simply tell the authorities to drop the charges unless the DA owes him big time, and that was not mentioned.

I liked the story and the writing was fairly good. The first few chapters were particularly exciting. But the plot dragged after a while, and the story hardly advanced, so I think the elimination of some extraneous parts/chapters would really tighten up this tale. Sometimes less is more.

Another inconsistency: Rick's weight loss was too fast. Total starvation with water alone yields 1/2 lb. weight loss per day. Even combined with exercise, no way could Rick consistently lose weight as fast as he did in this fantasy. Still, this story was a solid four stars in my book. Thanks for writing.

An excellent first novel could come out of this, perhaps with showing Daniella's side of things. How did the detective agency miss the encounters with Meat?

I will never understand Angela's behaviour at the party, though she basically is right, by trying to get over it, he gave Dani enough rope to hang herself, he did not need to plan anything. If I were Tom, I might take a hard look at Angela...... I guess I am just suspicious by nature..

Basically Shelly and Dani are a danger to society and should be locked up. It would have been the simplest way to handle the divorce. I really could not back Rick as Senior Partner or Managing Partner after this debacle on his part.

FDST -- change your monniker and start turning out more good stories of your own. You can take existing setting and modify them (Just like Will did).

And now all we need is for some superstar out there who doesn't like your ending to attempt to finish YOUR damn story.

Then the story that should have died will be constantly reborn.

And oh, and I'm pretty sure the original author still likes their story better. You've accomplished little.

I'm done here.

Weird plot decisions. She cheats again but he doesn't go nuclear on their fraud? That makes absolutely no sense with the powder keg you turned him into. There are more but this turned into a disappointing story by the end. Curious if she would have confessed had he not talked to Shelly. Not that it matters, I don't honestly believe she would have done that. The only way that makes sense is how you kept having him notice how she was in bed with him. Perhaps he was just happy (relieved?) the inevitable happened. I just don't think you kept true to the characters you built up. I think I've said it in other chapters, you make plot decisions that don't agree with character/personality decisions you've created. I'm sure others will disagree which is the way of the world.

This was kind of a long read, but I did check every day for the next chapter so obviously I enjoyed it. I'm glad he didn't fall backwards. But I was not satisfied with the ending. I think you need to do a better job of BTB! I ended up giving this final chapter a 5*, based on the whole series.

this chapter feels like a cop out. It's like you just didn't care anymore, and didn't even keep some of the characters as you had previously written them. I was really hoping for something different than the tired "slut for big cocks" path you took.

... his wife's final indiscretion with Meat is artificial and completely out of character. The ending felt oddly "attached" as if you were having troubles wrapping up the series and chose to force your characters into a situation that would allow you to do just that. The same goes for her bff. The story would have been better if the protagonist simply had decided that he couldn't do it after all and walked out of the marriage.

That being said, you have still done a fine job and you're obviously a good writer. You probably just painted yourself into a corner and needed a way to finish the damn story ;-)

Well paced writing and well-written dialogue. Ending is very good - wife never did overcome her natural tendency to be a manipulative bitch. Well done FTDS - your writing has really improved.

you didn't need 8 chapters to dump a cheating whore. She should have divorced his ass and moved on. But instead she moved to Whorestown, PA. They both where fucked up. And it stopped being a BTB story from the minute she brought out the contract.

Those were loose ends that were never tied up. What did Shelly mean by "no more teenagers"?

The kids NEVER explained who John was, either.

Ok, so I was partially wrong. No thermonuclear strike. More like the precision use of a Delta Team near the end. Give her enough gas and matches, and Wifey burned herself. You took a very roundabout and admittedly repetitive route to the foreseen outcome. He was still too nice to her, in my estimation, but oh well. At least it wasn't a RAAC. Nicely done.

4.7 Stars for the whole shebang.

Now, as was stated already, create a new account with a different name and write your own tales! You have a lot of talent. Keep this one in case your teeth itch to finish one, of course. But yeah, create your own worlds and write in them.

As usual I really enjoyed the story. I didn't mind the length at all and actually understood the vacillation of the main character going back and forth on how to act. Having been there and done that, it is exactly what happens. One minute you feel like things are going to work out, the next you want to burn her world to the ground.

Only thing I was surprised at was the soft landing at the end. I really expected him to go for the jugular when 'Meat' came back and she went to him again. 4.7*

The ending shows that a cheater is always a cheater and never to be trusted. It really is that simple. It is not about love. Its about trust.

and done well.

It was fun! Thanks

I enjoyed the story and was surprised you carried it into multiple chapters. Most importantly, I was glad to see you put up the next chapter most everyday...that is something many don't and I know it takes a lot of dedication to get it done...and it is appreciated!

I knew there'd be a tipping point reveal & the carnal lapse by Danielle was not a surprise. What did JUMP out at me was sterling quality of her intense but futile confession and futile plea for forgiveness. Her intensity contrasted so well with Rick's detachment. Her lie/promise mea culpa was a study in desperation.

It was annoying with the story stringing out on aforementioned tipping point but most of the installments had at least one GREAT scene that redeemed the daily read. One last thing, this auto 1* guy is a first class-no life prick. There are so many authors in LW that aren't suited to my taste. I shrug and let them go by. Life is too short.

My mind boggles at who has such a void in their so- called life to purposefully seek out storries they know they'll dislike. The only thing is certain is that they've no idea of how hard it is to try to make even a semblance of something out of nothing. If course that's how it goes for the most virulent critics. More's the pity.

Wrapped up everything neatly, and appeals to my sense of justice. All is well, good job bringing this to a close.

I presume new Teri is old Tina .

When did Rick start seeing into future? Why would wife need to add physical abuse ? She already had Rick on mental cruelty and adultery. On and etc.

FTDS the short form, upto about 8pages you do very well. This is the 2nd very long , multi-chapter story. It wanders, is repetitive and actually gets boring. Something I thought could never happen to something written by you. Few are the gifted like DQS1 and Rehnquist .

Well I will happily await your next attempt to finish the damn story, already!

AMerryMan

But you turned Rick into a wimp midway through. Wifey does nothing but lie through her teeth for 7 chapters and hubby let's her off practically scot free and even holds off Jenny moving in with him so as not to upset the cheating cunt right after she tries to send him to jail. WTF! If ever a brb ending was needed to a LW story it was here.

Worse, not any explanation about john or the teenagers.

It's not the size it's how you use what you got, anything over 7 inches is a freak. And no women can take one that long and enjoy it. You would think she was addicted to crack cocaine that she would risk everything for a large cock and a man with no brains. No attorney in this world would put herself in that position. This is the first story I ever heard of a women addicted to a 12 inch cock. That's one dumb ending . So much for a long drawn out story.nt

Good turn-around! How many ' just one last chance 's can be requested? Infinite! How many should be granted? One - sometimes NONE!

Sweetie's threat to 'go postal' if Hubby didn't cave is just MORE evidence that she had not fundamentally changed! And held Hubby in disrespect, despite protestations to the contrary. Wish Hubby had pointed out that contradiction!

THREE comments from LSDawgg, and many other Towers of Perversion! And positive! Double wow!

5*

To give a shit what happens to any of these people.

ending far too easy. Then the two women (one a lawyer) beating each other up made it a total slam dunk. By the time you reached your conclusion, it was foregone. There could be no other ending. It took a very long time for our hero to arrive at the same place where the readers were parked and waiting for several chapters. He kept warning her, so she had no reason to worry. He never enforced any of his warnings, so she ignored him, much like a child would. The readers tired of the warnings, but the wife did not.

So he ended up not wanting to hurt someone who tried to have him put in jail for assault? Damn what a pussy! The author fucked this up royally in the end. Some people just don't have a clue!

I enjoyed the series though I found her last round of cheating predictable and her expectation for forgiveness incredible. A better ending and perhaps more angst for him might have been if she cheated AFTER the third time and BEFORE he decided to trust her. At that point he was willing to let the past go but would he forgive #4? Alternatively she could have been visiting Shelly and drunk Meat shows up and rapes her (would hubby believe that?) what would be his response.

As to his calm reaction - it was perfect. Unlike when she blind sided him this time he was merely taking out the trash. They wanted negotiation last time this time they had no leverage and he called the shots. He was nice to her if she went along because of the children.

The requests for FTDS to write original stories are well placed. My only concern is whether he can create the pathetic situations initially that he now so ably repairs?

All 8 chapters, well written and well conceived. Thanks for a cuck with dignity.

He should have had some "take care of " Meat months before. Guys like him always think they can get away with it.

I loved the story. Now there are cuckolds and wimps abounding on Lit at the moment that are just 'screaming' for your attention :-)

LOL I think a brutal total BTB would not very tasteful. He began an escort girl so the unwritten rule of Revenge stories do not let a total revenge possibilities for him. The Author has brain so a light revenge was in his kitchen. From me a 5***** for this good taste.

Great story, especially after reading the original. My only question would be, if he had Danielle and Shelly both on tape committing a felony, why not let them both stay in lock up and be convicted? The in-house tapes would've done so without anything else, and our "hero" could've walked away with everything and eventually told the children what he felt they needed to know. Afterwards, he could have issued a warning to all of her "friends", anyone trying to help or visiting would get the same treatment. Again, great story, and I'll definite keep looking for more of your work.

5 stars from me,

Dave

I really enjoyed it. Well written, lots of twists and turns. You did a great job.

I appreciate all the comments, all the way through the story. They will help me in crafting my next effort.

I admit that I still need a lot of practice writing. The written word is part of my day-to-day job, for over a decade, but fiction is new to me. After reading your comments I see many ways I could have improved this story. I recognize that things that make sense to me aren't clear to the reader. There are so many small issues, I see I have a long way to go.

John? Who the hell was John? In my mind John was just a throw away name, one of the kids from school. I had no idea it would be taken so seriously by so many readers. That was all it was meant to be, not part of a secret conspiracy involving the kids.

Teri/Toni/Tina? Obviously I need to work harder editing. I had the help of a reader for 5 of the 7 chapters, who provided useful feedback. They didn't help with the last chapter and it shows.

Teenagers? I thought that a drunken woman might refer to his young assistants as teenagers, exaggerating the age difference. It only confused things.

Unsafe Sex: Rick was a hypocrite on this subject. He should have been smarter about his relations with the girls, or at least brought the subject up, not ignored it.

Lying: Rick was a hypocrite. He was lying about his job, and why Shelly got let go. It served no real purpose, other than to weaken his high-ground stance. He could have quit and gotten his job back, perhaps with an understanding. No need to lie about why Shelly was fired. Thanks for the comments about this, it opened my eyes to his behavior.

Unneeded characters: I received a very telling email taking me to task for introducing unnecessary characters. I guess John is part of this, maybe Weston as well. Danvers also, there was no need for the 'coincidence' of having his wife cheating and him returning to the fold. Anna provided very little value. Lots of named characters could have remained invisible - Dot the secretary, Danielle's new boss, Sin & Candy, which I thought was cute but useless in furthering the story.

Story length: Although I started with a plot in mind, including the final ending, it seemed to take me forever to get there. I took a lot of side trips which were unnecessary. I spent much longer than necessary on repeating the key issues over and over again, as so many of you have pointed out.

Wasted writing: The Angela party scene was unnecessary. The poker game and cigar bar was way too much effort to try to associate pay-for-sex poker chips with the credits he'd been buying at a much higher cost. All the Weston meetings didn't go anywhere, a plot twist the petered out. I don't know why I made Rick fall off the diet wagon for a couple of weeks, other than it made him seem weaker than I intended. After review I agree with many of the commenters, chapters 4-7 should have been half as long. I was happy with chapters 2 & 3, although they could use some improvement. With practice and editing maybe I could have completed this in 4-5 chapters instead of 7. I started with chapters 2,3 & 8 in mind, as well as most of the events that happened in between. I started and ended as I intended, the middle was not as solid.

Ideas I didn't pursue: The story would have been even longer if I added all the things that were bouncing around in my head. The element of making Danielle gain weight was a plot twist I at one time meant to carry a lot further, including a counter contract. The final cheating was going to be more extensive and exposed by the sister Anna, with a more BTB ending which was abandoned early on. Angela was going to revisit the contract at an earlier point with an intervention, to make it balanced and useful. Weston was going to become a bigger part of the story including the use of his beach house for unnecessary debauchery. I'm scared now to think how carried away this story would have been if I included everything.

Ending: Duna is correct(!). In my mind, and the way I try to write my continuations, the more egregious the initial story the more extensive the payback/revenge. In this case, Rick was completely at fault and that limited his response. His wife had been loving and supportive, there was no reason for his failure to stay faithful or in shape. Her response was excessive and didn't seem to be in keeping with her initial characterization. That was the impetus for the chapter 5 exposition where we learn he was not supposed to react the way he did. It was meant to temper her initial evil behavior, and lay the groundwork for a possible reconciliation. The third time straying was evidence that she liked it enough to risk things when it was just getting better, so that the final failure on her part would be consistent with earlier actions.

Obviously I am still a novice, with a long ways to go before I produce anything worthwhile. Longer sequels like this expose my weaknesses. I can put words down with some ability but the plot elements, the story details, refining my work, these all need work which only writing more will allow me to improve.

I learned all of this from your many comments and emails. I had not expected the flood of good emails I received each day, both encouraging my effort and pointing out the flaws. If I spent a few days between each chapter release I would have had time to fix some of the flaws, but as it was, everything was written and the entire story submitted by the time chapter 5 came out. I prefer to finish my work before submitting everything, but that doesn't mean I couldn't do some minor edits along the way, based on useful feedback.

My backlog of stories is almost empty. I'm working on two short followups and two longer ones. It will be a while before anything is submitted but I will continue to do what I enjoy, writing completions for work left hanging. Thanks for taking the time to read my effort and I hope to do better for you in the future. Keep the feedback coming, it is teaching me a lot.

Your comments at least some of them were lost on me. Protecting his holdings and planning for a future nuclear divorce promised by his wife trumpted any lies he told her about his job or anything else. I didn't expect his to marry the trainer, thought he would go to the new attorney. Sorry my personality would have ditched the slut long before he got his act together and tried RAAC. I would never have dipped into her BFF knowing her cunt was a cesspool. No reason to die over a slut. The medical testing issues weren't really addressed. He needed at least six months to a year of testing to be clean. There are valid reasons men should marry women 10 to 20 years younger and your story brings some of those to the surface. It was interesting if overly long.

Your best effort yet and with the rest of your cannon, that's really saying something!

Eagerly awaiting your next story.

Only real problem I had with it was that Danielle REALLY needed therapy right from the start. This was proven to me in this last chapter because no one can be that stupid without serious mental problems. Shelly could use it too I think. Hell Tina wasn't quite as off her rocker as those two and she went into counseling.

I liked that it was dawn out and showed him overreact to pain and anger as well. Yes he started as the one at fault, but by trying over and over to get things back on track when everyone around him was pushing things way too far showed inhuman levels of patience.

I don't feel that it dragged out too long. The point was to show him really trying to make things work and keep the family together but failing due to repeated lies and betrayal from the wife. I don't think it would have come off right if it was shorter.

I was also as surprised as others that he married the trainer rather than the intern. Didn't see that one coming at all. Though I probably should have since he broke it off with intern girl before she started working at his firm.

Tom needs to have words with his wife Angela. Her jumping down Rick's throat at the party about if he was setting Danielle up with false hope. That whole incident seemed off to me somehow. Just as I was about to submit this comment it clicked and I had to add this paragraph. If I followed the timeline right this party was right around the time wifey went back to Meat and now I wonder if Angela knew. And if she did then her jumping down his throat shows her clearly in support of the whore. Which then means Tom's got rough times ahead.

All in all a good read though. Yes there were some editing errors but since when is that new on a this sight. These were also pretty minor compared to many of the stories I've come across.

is hard to cure or live with, TK U MLJ LV NV

Thanks for the story. I felt the pain of the loss of trust and the re formation of the relationship. Appreciated your comments and explanation and background- found it interesting.

For my tastes I really had hopped they worked everything out, so a little disappointed in the ending. Care to try a redo?

and while I would rather the author had found a way for them to reconcile for real, the ending is in character with the original story, and the many ups and downs in between were kind of red herrings. I have to admit, though, is that the character of Danielle is still a cypher. Sure, the simple approach is she is a slut who simply wants the big dick, but that doesn't seem to fit her character, because on the other hand she seems desperate to stay with Rick, and it doesn't seem to be just the financial rewards and such. She is an intelligent women, and while even the smartest people do dumb things in the heat of passion or whatever, something doesn't quite add up (not surprising given that it was hard to finish this one even in 8 chapters). I can't figure out if she simply was this selfish, evil bitch (which doesn't seem in character, to be honest), but there is something else there. Did she deep down resent Rick and want to bring him down a peg? Did she do the whole diet/cuck thing wanting him to lose weight, or was she doing it to try and drive him into being a cuck for certain?

The other weak element is her friend Shelley, she seems like she truly regretted what Danielle had done, yet when big dick comes back into town, she not only sees him herself but also in a sense allows Danielle to fall off the wagon....and then she goes along with Danielle with the horrible plot to get Rick arrested and destroy him, that to be honest makes no sense..I realize shelley is a lonely person with few friends, and doesn't want to lose Danielle as a friend, but she isn't stupid, and she knows that big dick is going to destroy what little is left of the relationship, so why would she not be beating Danielle up and stopping her? Why didn't she tell Rick Douchebag was in town, to stop anything from happening? And in the end, if Danielle wants to be the big dick hunting slut, why does she let herself go? Or with Rick lost, is it apparent that the cheating was something more? There is a whole backstory here, I find the whole women go after the big cock like slaves just a little to misogynistic and simple, and it is one of the holes in the story why Danielle and Shelley would allow it to happen again...Danielle's reaction to him saying it is over is either someone very much in love with him or someone with a mental illness, which doesn't seem to be what she is painted as.

For some reason, as flawed as both characters are, I kind of hoped they would get a chance to make it and really was sad when it blew up. It is nice that in the end they were able to raise the kids successfully and share in that, but it makes you wonder what was or could have been.

A comment on those calling Rick a wuss, even after Danielle and Shelly pull the horrible accusation on him. Among other things, it is unlikely that the police would not charge them with something, at the very least, filing a false police report. They wouldn't need rick for that, the lack of physical evidence on him would prove he didn't hit Danielle (plus also, he was at a hotel, and the time of his entry into the room would corroborate he didn't do it). But given that this could happen, the simple answer is that Rick loves Danielle enough that he can't do it. People writing in stories write how love turns to hate in a blink of an eye, but it doesn't always (or maybe even often). In some ways, I think he accepted that Danielle loved him, but just had something screwed up that let her cheat, then felt regret and was desperate to try and keep him, and that led her to the stupidity. Rick isn't a wimp or a superman, he kind of still feels guilt that his own actions may have led her down the path, plus he also realized that his own actions, his over the top stuff, may have led to this place, too. His friend Tom tells him that you don't get revenge, you get even, and Rick might pull back the hounds of hell because he simply doesn't want to do that to the mother of his children, and also to someone he really loved, as much as he couldn't be with her.

I do have one final comment, all of you who jumped on FTDS for writing this, who were nasty to him, saying how it wasn't the same as the original, etc, if you are so certain that he screwed up, try taking a story that needs finishing and finish it. Some of the biggest critics on this story have been people who did continue other stories, and there work was frankly childish compared to this. More important, it is one of the hardest things in the world to continue someone else's story, Robert Parker tried finishing an unfinished novel of Raymond Chandler and as good a writer as he was, failed. I am working , though not getting much of anywhere, on finishing another tale, and it is incredibly difficult, and I thought FTDS did a great job, even though his ending bummed me out.

Enjoyable scortched earth policy, also found the attempt at reconciliation well done as well. God bless hot trainers in spandex tights! Thanks for entertaining us.

@njlauren

Interesting points but I think you left out a very valid point, Danielle only ever really cared about herself and what she wanted.

While she may have been a good lawyer, her job was a joke. She was the big fish in a little pond who never had to risk facing a real challenge in her career. Her job added nothing to the family and actually took money away seeing as she spent more than she made on clothes and business lunches.

Her revenge on Rick was nuclear and was only ever designed to destroy him as a man. Her claims of him not renegotiating the contact was utter bullshit as the whole point of blackmail is to leave the other person with no choice but to comply with your demands. Even after the first time with Meat and things went to shit all she cared about was her next fuck session.

She had no respect for Rick during this entire story. Not an ounce. Apart from trying to turn him into her cuck and all the humiliation and pain she heaped upon the guy, she not only told her friends what was going on but encouraged them to join in and humiliate him as well. No one could do that to someone they claim to love or respect. Danielle also lied non stop during the entire story and even at the end didn't seem to accept responsibility for any of her actions.

Tina might have started out as a bitch like Shelly and Danielle but she's the only one who seemed to learn her lesson unlike the other two sluts who never did. But this I blame on the author because as soon as Rick seemed to man up, FTDS wussed him out again.

Maybe if instead of the bullshit costing Shelly her job and Tina her marriage then helping them out right away, he just told Danielle the truth about what he had done to the two bitches and left them to rot it could of served as a wake up call for his wife but considering the person she was I doubt it. As even after her revenge, all the shit the couple had to go through to fix things and their marriage being on life support, she just didn't give a damm about risking it all just for another go with meat and was even prepared to send Rick to jail to get her way in the end.

An amazing, gripping story from the remnants of the original story which most of us thought the husband had given in so easily. This new story explains very well why he sign so quickly and the actions his wife and her best friend with their stud lovers.

What does amaze me is how FTDS has dissected the contract, identified the wording flaws and turn the power play back to the husband. When I first read the original storey I thought about half the options the husband could use to get out of it or manipulate the contract. However FTDS has gone much further than any us could have imagine and created 7 chapters of griping, suspense fill story.

Also the development of the characters from the original story still keeps me wondering just were the story may go !

Don't make apologies simply because your story didn't fit the formulaic expectations of some readers. The writing was great, and the characters and different scenes helped make it a complete tale.

He got a better woman and his Ex got Fat. Now she has No Kids and No steady man. just an "old" slut wishing and Hoping.

Danielle's behavior in this story was completely out of left field and completely out of character for the way she'd behaved for the rest of the story. I don't know if the author felt he had to give in to the BTB idiots and trolls and scrapped an original reconciliation ending or if he just couldn't think of a way to justify breaking them up and so threw in the curve ball of her cheating at the last minute and her attempting to frame him in what was possibly the dumbest part of the entire saga.

Still a good story overall, taken as a whole it's a very good story of revenge and the emotional toll it takes on everyone involved, but this chapter is by far the weakest.

Of low life no class over paid lawyers who are too stupid and shallow to be even remotely interesting.

Don't get me wrong; the writing was awesome, but I just really did not care for the last couple of chapters. Case in point this ending, WHY WOULD ANY MAN WITH ANY SHRED OF SELF-MUTH'A-FUCK'N- RESPECT even think about taking such a horrific excuse for a whore wife back after all the shit she did, let alone actually reconciling with the skank! I think it's ridiculous for "wussy Ricky" to think a slut can change her spots--of course given the opportunity/choice she will REPEATEDLY sacrifice her pathetic excuse of a marriage in a instant for a chance at a 12 incher. You didn't give Ricky his balls dude. He even let her off easy in the terms of the divorce, 5 years of alimony or until she re-marries, no child support, $300K, plus whatever the house sell for---?!--- are you on drugs writer?! What universe do you see such a man like Ricky? The wife lost respect for Ricky a long time ago that's why her revenge, humiliation ,belittling, eagerness to have a BIG DICK rammed up in her regardless if her marriage is already on life support. A wife that truly truly loves her husband would NEVER EVER do the things this wife did, even towards the end she humiliated him once again. She wasn't apologetic; she never even took responsibility for her actions. I guess this story is better suited for the sick fucks who enjoys licking another mans cum out of his cum slut wife's cesspool pussy. I think even towards the very end Ricky was STILL A FUCK'N WIMPY CUCK, WHO ENDED UP PAYING FOR HER TO CONTINUE TO ENJOY THOSE HUGE DICKS SHE'S BECOME SO ACCUSTOMED TO. If I was a man & I was Ricky, I'd burn the earth with the whore, no fucking way I'd stick my dick anywhere near her let alone in her!-- yuck! I certainly wouldn't touch her pimp/mentor with a ten feet pole-- why would I risk pissing razor blades or Worse AIDS? The actions of your characters doesn't seem to fit their profession as lawyers-- they both seem really really fuck'n stupid to me. This story doesn't belong in the loving wives section, there wasn't a fucking thing loving about it. A cuck's diet--?!-- what is this? Is this some sort of guide for wives who have a fat bloated wimpy husband at home? This story was just really really lame. I'm a woman & I wanted to see Ricky grow a set & dump the whore. I should've known better by the title alone. Oh well lesson learned.

someone asked "Just a few questions. "Who T F is John?"

I think John is Jonathan Morris, the senior partner at Danielle's firm.

When Danielle first got the job there, Rick wondered if there were ulterior motives. I guess there were. Would have been nice to have it confirmed or not brought up John in the first place.

@tbear69

Read down through the comments as FTDS made a post about alot of the issue's people brought up and some mistakes on his part about story points that went nowhere.

John was just one of the kids school mates it seems.

wimp story ending...... aww we can all just be buddies no hard feeling..... where is the purity of hate?

The change in the repent wife in this chapter does not seem to make any sense. The wife suddenly switches from the desperate remorseful and Pleading wife to big Cock queen... really rulings the end of the story

I realize in the last two chapters when they were having sex and trying to reconnect Rick mentioned several times that he had sensed that when they were were having sex ... that his wife was overcompensating. But the switch or change in the wife's behavior occurs too fast. And that leads to another problem.

If she was really this much as they big cock slut then why the fuck have we been wasting our time reading this long story? The sudden and violent change in he wife's attitude and demeanor simply because the Mr Big cock shows up means that the entire time Rick assessment of how he viewed his wife ... a evil twisted emasculating a lying controlling cunt... was essentially correct.

so what was point of this looooong story?

... That size queen ending does not justify the rehashing, redundancy and tedium. You've done better. If the goal is to finish the story, then you should have kept your eye on the goal and ended it around chapter 4. Panther fan.

In parts this was an excellent development of the original storyline. Too long yes, but enough to keep me reading.

Solid ending without being spectacular. As commented elsewhere, not your best work, but you still rate as one of the best on-site for developing and finishing other peoples storylines in the best way. Thanks for your works, I'll be back for the next ones.

I have to agree with Harry from VA's views. I find that to be an awful fast switch from remorseful wife to completely selfish and unrepentant bitch. It was like after you skillfully wrote a reconciliation that touched many hearts you regretted it and needed it to be a burn the bitch piece. Your downfall was that you made her so likeable in the previous chapters that you couldn't burn her without the audience feeling cheated. You had to turn her back into a cheating narcissistic whore all over again. It doesn't fit with her personality that you built up. After going through all of that, why would she risk it all again? Then on top of that, why would she bring that ridiculous proposal to him? There is no way she would have thought that he would go for it after 8 chapters of him doing everything in his power to fight her in the previous "agreement". I just can't buy that someone would fight that hard for trust and then throw it away so easily. I honestly feel cheated with this chapter. I have to give this 1 star. It pains me to do that because you were so good in the previous chapters.

It was over after she walked out the door the first time in Ch 1.

Chs. 2-8 were just the marriage's dying gasps we didn't need to read.

'nuff said.

PS PLEASE Don't fInish any more stories!!

PLEASE!!

I like your stories. Fuck all of these hatin' pricks. Truthfully, I don't feel like she got near enough punishment but I'm sure that it's my own BTB tendencies speaking. Keep em' coming.

... you go back to your closet and watch ONE of your WHORE WIVE's lovers FINISH IN HER ASS then take your CUCK LOVING stories AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS!!!

... Now "THAT'S" how you FinishTheDamnStory!!!!

Loved this story, the twists and unexpected surprises. Wish you would also consider writing some of your own stories from the beginning, but I love your endings.

Thanks, hugs and kisses in advance for your next work!

did Rick try to get his wife psychiatric help. He obviously could afford it. She was like an alcoholic in her dependance on large cocks and lying. She said she wanted the marriage to last, and in the next step threatened to ruin him. That's just SICK!. Did the author deliberately make her that way or is HE himself sick? Rich

She should have been ejected in the first chapter. Once a cheater.....

oh im so impressed a slap on the wrist...............wow that showed her............oh he's so scary mad........i wont like you any more............YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT VENGEANCE IS.....BURN THEM ALLLLLLLLLL. This is the most amazing thing ever...........GASP AWWWW OH MY GOD!! a cup of warm water thrown in her face yep thats nuclear?

The ending is just awful because it makes no sense. The problem here is that over the story Rick gets smarter. He realizes that he really cannot trust his wife. And given what has happened that DOES make sense.

In addition his intelligence regarding his wife going back to her lover for a third time AFTER she promised not to AND engaging in a massive deceit / plot is also very well done plot development by the author because it is is a key issue.

BUT... if Rick is smart enough and wise enough to to realize the significance of going back to her lover for third time ...

If Rick is smart enough to realize why that's so important ...

Rick is s smart enough to realize he cannot trust his wife and that has the cameras and recordings his own home ....

Then it follows that Rick HAD to be smart enough to realize that her entire argument about the contract and weight reduction program was simply a manipulation : a vicious scheme so that she could fuck other men.

Rick cannot be this brilliant and insightful on one hand then on the other handbe pathetically stupid and not grasp the significance of his wife's deceitful massive betrayal and public humiliation.

And that's what kills the story

I think it was very foolish of the husband to stop surveillance on his wife so early. He might not need the full package anymore, like someone from the PI firm following the wife around all the time, but reduced signal interception (bugged home, recording of telephone conversations, etc) would have been well within his means. That he gave that up when he didn't trust his wife and wasn't sure yet if they could stand the test of time after that debacle is something I don't understand.

The ending, well, that's very much the result of his stupidity. He started trusting his wife again, started believing her lies again and only caught onto her through pure chance, when he saw one of her old lovers in person.

All that said, I'm a bit surprised that Rick was even willing to give his marriage another chance. I can understand cheating and I can believe the need for revenge, but Danielle's choice was so far over the top, that I don't know a single guy in my circle of friends and acquaintances who would allow himself to be reeled in again afterwards.

Did Danielle have another lover Rick never found out about?

That you can refuse your spouse something and then be angry and outraged because that spouse goes and gets it somewhere else. If you do that, you're the one who's cheating your partner in life out of life, and you deserve to lose him/her.

Pity that five stars is all I'm allowed to express my approval of this story - I would have awarded you with an entire stellar system (the clever "U-turn" in the last two chapters is priceless!) . Kudos!

This is a long, LONG short story. As it tries to cover all the distance from initial heartbreak and humiliation to final divorce, but it doesn't begin to cover all the real distance a humiliated man (or woman) would have to go through.

That's not a slam on this story. It's just a realization that (1) this is all fantasy and fiction and (2) you can't tell every significant event that real people go through.

It's a good yarn and a satisfying finish to a preposterous beginning.

HC

Long, but it went smoothly. First I thought they were doomed, then it looked like they would make it, then they were doomed again, then... well I guess you see the emotions of chapters 2 - 8. Very, very entertaining, I love it.

Not sure how I missed this. Very we'll done, sir!

Good story, good character development, happy ending. He gave the bitch way, way to many chances; she was as evil as she was stupid. Could have been a great 2-3 chapter story if you got rid of the repetition.

BDEarth

I can see the sense of it but for me there were too many holes. In the first place I don't believe either Danielle or Shelley have anything to do with Meat when he shows up. That seems too far fetched. Secondly, Danielle is a smart attorney. So she never would have thought up the scheme to have Shelley beat her. She had it right. She was going to get custody, the house, child support and alimony. She's going to get a great divorce attorney who is going to hire a forensic accountant and all his "hiding" money will be for naught. His firm, starting with Tom, will not protect him. They've already told him a "cuckold" scandal will not be acceptable to the firm. So Danielle is going to have him over a barrel if he wants to continue his career. And speaking of his career, when he gets deposed Tom will tell them that he never quit his job. While I agree he should divorce the cheating slut he would have lost big time in Court in a very messy fight. And her weight gain? That was too implausible. Women in her position depend upon their appearances and go to great lengths to maintain that advantage. So I didn't believe for a second that she put on a ton of weight. Overall a good story. Way too long and too much repetitive stuff. But I enjoyed the effort. Go finish some other stuff. God knows that there's a ton of it out there that's been left unfinished.

no matter the substance, TK U MLJ LV NV

Danielle had been thrown off balance from the beginning of Rick's campaign to beat the contract she had forced on him. You could see her progressively falling apart with each new turn of the screw. She was NOT going to get the house and custody of the kids, because Rick had spent months away from his work as the kids' primary at-home parent and was now working fewer hours compared to Danielle; at best she might have gotten some maintenance if Rick's new position paid a lot more than hers. In other words, in every way that mattered, she had lost the "diet challenge." Realizing that Rick had outmaneuvered her at every move threw off her judgement, which led to her act of desperation. It was the exact reverse of the lapse in Rick's judgement had caused him to sign the contract in the first place.

The money Rick had concealed during the "challenge" and his period of pretend unemployment would be irrelevant to the divorce, because everything in that episode in their marriage had been settled with their previous reconciliation. Danielle's adultery with Meat had led to an entirely new situation.

I could have done without the last chapter, it was actually painful to read as soon as Meat was mentioned again.

I will make a few comments: First, $3000 escorts are way overpriced unless there are rich fools that don't know what the going rate it. Second, Shelly and Danielle were fools with that contract and Danielle was just a horny woman looking to fuck around, I do not believe that she was that concerned with her husband's weight. She was just being a foolish woman wanting to humiliate her husband and get-out-of-jail-free fucks. If she was all bent out of shape and humiliated she could have gone for the divorce right then, instead she wanted to make her husband out to be an idiot (which he was). It was her misfortune to get hooked up with a great big dick the first one she screwed with. Some women are queen-sized cock fools. I know, just a story and a good one. I was glad to see that no feelings were hurt, blah, blah and that the story worked out as well as could be expected considering the way it went. Hubby was just too fair with Danielle at the end (and all through the story). Author, I have read nearly all your stories published here and this is my favorite despite my little criticisms. I did question who John was but did not let it bother me and I thought the poker game was misplaced (as you later did). Being familiar with poker games, cheating wives, cheating husbands, call girls, whores, (no $3000 escorts, way over my head) and similar low-life's I can identify with many people in this story. Hard-nosed lawyers that like to fuck around (until their wives catch them and they find out how much it will cost them to leave with their sweetie) are also friends out of my past. It takes all kinds and I have become acquainted with many in the last 50 years. Kudos again, author, will make you a favorite if I haven't already. Please find some more stories to finish, thank you.

Is she an addict, or just a very selfish and self-centered person? Most of the respondents seem to think she is "addicted to big cocks". But her comments about her husband not understanding, how hard it is to work long hours, and how hard it is to manage your weight, seem to indicate that she is just unable to understand any challenges that she doesn't face directly.

We live in a narcissistic culture. We are taught to believe that the individual is the most important thing. That, coupled with the inherent way that humans conceptualize the world, means that each of us believes that we are the center of the universe. We believe that reality starts with our perceptions, and moves in concentric circles outward. (me, my family, my friends, my community, etc) Subsequently, what is good for me is best for the world.

I like the fact that the husband got what he wanted. And she was gradually made aware of how well off she was, before she decided to "push the envelope". Not real life, but entertaining none the less.

Robert

Now you know why the original author never finished the story. I can't believe how long it took me to read it. I can only imagine how long it took you to write it. But I have to say it was very thorough and entertaining. Thank you Oh and Robert (searching0240) I loved your analysis on how Americans viewed themselves and their place in the world. At least, I thought that was the culture you were referring to.

After a slow and stuttering upward trajectory to reconciliation, you surprised me with the final chapter. Earlier it was mentioned that the wife was working late nights and I thought "Aha! She's back to cheating!", and I had this idea that Shelley was actually going to wind up with him in a twist. Shows what I know. I think there are more fantasy size queens than real ones, but the fact that the wife just can't stay away after all the agony in her marriage seemed pretty abrupt. Anyhow, a great story arc that I really enjoyed. I love the anons who read all 8 chapters then complain that you wasted their time. That was great time spent IMHO. 5 stars.