All Comments on 'The Currency of Time Ch. 03'

and the coin of the realm is never stationery. TK U MLJ LV NV

Three sections of gratuitous and senseless violence with very little relevant information added to the story. What's the line from the Sandler movie "we all feel more stupid for listening to it" ? And I looked forward to reading this next installment? What a waste.

So you've deserted the grownups for the male adolescent market. Probably a shrewd call for this site, but not my demographic.

You're a horrible writer.

Self-wanking to the max.

And to his ex I humbly say: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Also it's obvious that they are gonna end up talking again. For some reason it's hard to get away from a woman with all the resources 250 million bucks can provide.

Can't believe DQS has lost his form ...this part was so disgusting ...after the spellbinding 2nd part ..I was expecting a volcanic eruption and outburst from McCarthy with fire , anguish , heartburn and revenge , but all we got was fire and bullets from some gunwielding bodyguards ..... too disappointing ..let us see how DQS salvages his reputation in the next part , if at all he does...

Looks like someone took offense to people pointing out that his male characters tend to be pathetic, gutless wankers who are incapable of standing their ground and really fighting for what they want in life. From your balding, waddling, monkey-suited "Angel of Death", to whoever the hell this fool is, you don't change.

But then, just to prove us mean old critics wrong, you go out of your way to present us with this lame-ass POS about a group of wannabe Expendables. Oh, you mentioned that what's-his-face was a bit of a badass "offscreen", as it were -where the things he's done are vaguely mentioned, but he never actually does anything. But now you've turned him into a walking armory!

Bravo, you've shown yourself to be unimaginative AND thin-skinned. Much like your characters, so that explains a lot. Oh, and you've also shown you know fuck-all about firearms and couldn't even be bothered to do a little research. An FNX 45 REVOLVER?! With 16 rounds?! Oh, I'm sorry, "shells". And then there's his Patriot 45 and Stinger SS. I have to wonder, why the hell would he be carrying three different guns that are all chambered in .45 ACP? That's fucking stupid. What, he doesn't like to reload, so when one gun runs dry he just drops it and draws another, like pirates with the old Flintlock pistols? 'Cause that's the only point I can see in having three different weapons all using the same ammo.

But that's alright. It's plain to see that you did this on a whim and put next to no effort or care into it. I don't know what you thought this would accomplish, but all I see is a shameful display from an author who jumped the shark a long time ago, and gets angry when people start pointing it out. Just go back to your little formula, DQS1. It's all you're good at.

you felt the need for a third chapter. Hmmmmm. I'm not sure that's curable. It seems to be a case of Writers Tourette's, the spontaneous and inexplicable ejaculation of a lot of words with minimal to no positive result. Fuck! Next chapter will probably contain a pean to Mustangs. Oh goody.

The last $1000.00 bill was circa 1918. Nixon took all bills over a $100.00 out of circulation by order of the Federal Reserve. Crisp bills indeed.

She cheated on him, humiliated him, accused him of rape, abuse and everything else and she thinks she can buy his forgiveness?

It was 5 years ago, theyve been apart longer than they were married. Time to let it go.

The $1,000 bill was discontinued in 1969, there are 165,372 remaining $1,000 bills, the Treasury actively removes any they get.

Not really likely there would be many in Guatemala, it isn't big a drug supplier like Colombia.

This was utter nonsense just to give in to the demands of a closing you wrote something up. Could have been better.

...Dreadful ....as bad as it gets ....expected better from this writer ...

This was really bad"

None of the other readers, read part 1...This is a 4 part story...This isn't finished yet...About this part: I always liked action movies, so I liked this part!!! Pity all his friends were death, but greed is the worst enemy of peace...Of course DQS1 could have made this part just 1 page, but that isn't for him, that likes to write. The suspense of the story still is up: How the writer will deal with the stupid woman that accepted back the man that had made her life in a living hell, and for that divorced the man that loved her above all things? Still 4*

Not my cup of tea. The mentality is that of a 14 year old boy that doesn't know what life is all about. Better would have been if he had moved to Texas, continued to work in the oil industry, found a decent woman, gotten married, had some kids and was truly living the good life. When his spoiled slut ex came looking for him, he'd tell her politely that he had what he wanted and wished her the best. She would wander back to shitty old Jacksonville and live out her life of shitty short term relationships with low class Florida trash.

Perhaps they meet again in an assisted living facility in southern Florida where his grandchildren would often visit. After the beating the Saudi's gave the oil industry, and the advances in natural gas and solar production the oil industry had thinned out the herd including her poorly run company - she was far from wealthy. She was now a childless old lady with various incurable STD's living out the rest of her days and her sentence for being a cheating slut.

Looking forward to part 4.

He was told all the killing was his fault because he burned up the original 10 million dollar check. Really?! He told the cheating slut ex-wife to leave him alone and she didn't listen. The blood is on her hands, not his.

Seemed most of this chapter was not necessary unless you like a little filler violence.

Why do I feel reconciliation coming in next chapter?

And silly. I like your previous work. This just isn't up to your standards.

Let bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the floor. Talented writer decides to out-tarentino Tarentino. I enjoyed the installment, but fear the narrator's coolness under fire is a prelude to reconciliation. DQS is trying some new geographic locales, exploring some different fictional niches and acquitting himself fairly well. One more installment to go ?

It's been an eventful ride, but I'm betting now that the narrator's macho bona-fides have been established' ultimately the siren song cannot be resisted by this author's hapless heroes . Sinatra had Ava Gardner. Michael apparantly has Deidre. Call it a hunch. Full marks . Sure DQS is slumming it, but his talent trumps all other considerations ( at least in this installment). *****

Really liked the first 2 chapters but thought this one was badly paced, felt like filler and a little ridiculous. Not up to your normal stands IMO.

Ok, now onto the rest of the story.

...to the previous two chapters. Instead of developing your story I feel that this chapter had little to do with it; seemed rather as if someone had to let out his rage by killing almost everybody in sight. You lost me here, sorry.

Somebody mentioned timeline problems in chapter one. For me here as well. Not to mention a few issues of the described violence of chapter two.

I get it. You are trying to write action scenes. Good. Nothing wrong with action scenes. But I have to say, FOR ME, (can't speak for anyone else) they haven't been executed as well as you might have hoped. I am reading and trying to visualize cinematically what is happening in the gun fights, but it is like you want to have action "slowed down" (a slow-mo camera capture), and then so sped up the next minute, in contrast, that it is hard to follow just who shot who.

My big issue, that perhaps you should revisit in this chapter.....

When did Larry have time to kill the others? While Overhauser was sticthing up Mccarty? The meeting in the den, couldn't have lasted more than 2 minutes( of dialogue anyway) before Larry is busting in to shoot Overhauser. How was that enough time to eliminate the rest of the people? Maybe it made sense in your mind as you wrote it. And maybe I just missed something. But what I can assure you is that it WASN'T as clear as it could have been. Also, who was driving the boat again? Wasn't one of the guys killed laying out on deck? But the temp pilot didn't notice anything amiss. Later, Mccarty is the only one driving. Was there 3 or 4 left alive? OK fair enough, IF I reread this, maybe it will be clearer, what you intended. But I respectfully submit to you, that a reader shouldn't HAVE to reread a passage over and over to decipher what the author's probable intent was.

I don't know or care about the guns used. I can tell that other's do. But for me, I know a gun shoots, and kills, and that is enough to visualize its effect while reading about it. I think you worked TOO hard on describing the weapons, and NOT ENOUGH on describing the action (CLEARLY).

As far as what this chapter did or didn't do as to adding to the overall story, well? Now more than ever, he seems to have LESS brains than brawn. Did he really burn the second check? All of the set up in Gautelmala to establish him as a guy who SHOULD take, and COULD use the money? Afterall, he has alot of people to pay off, and new body guards to hire.

Not taking the money ONCE, seemed like an EMOTIONAL failing. Not taking it THIS time, just seems like an IGNORANT one. There is no nobility to the gesture anymore, especially after people have DIED for it. How can he be broken up over the deaths, but still have no thought beyond letting the BANK retain the cash?

I think that is why many of the comments have been harsher on this chapter, so far. You have forcibly introduced WAY too many contradictions, in an action adventure tail that aspires to be more than it necessarrily needs to be. But still, we all know where this is going to end up. and at this point, the RAAC ending you will attempt to attach onto this will feel as false and confusing as the ability of one guy to betray all his partners unnoticed and still kill several people in less than 2 minutes.

But make no mistake in interpreting all of the preceeding. I KNOW these 2 things:

1) this is still LIGHT YEARS beyond what I could do myself, in terms of writing

and

2) this is still SO MUCH Better and more entertaining to read than very nearly every story posted along side of it, in the days since chapter one appeared.

Whether this is "slumming" as LordSlamDog said, or not. Your return and contributions here ARE VERY appreciated and have been most welcome.

But, are we so wrong to expect nothing but the very highest quality out of you?

Thankyou DQS! (just in case it doesn't get said enough)

you go in so many directions, its impossible to believe all that is going down. the killings etc. the plot , the set up, all these characters are not likable, Deirdre and Michaels story is not believable. one of your worst stories. it just doesn't work.

feels rushed, not of the quality of the first two. Hopefully Chapt 4 will tie up the loose ends, primarily why did she send the second check?

Despite the naysayers, I suspect you've developed a plot and a conclusion that will surprise and fulfill our reading pleasure.

I was thinking that I wish I had the hardcover novel so I could sit on a beach or an easy chair and read it all well into night and go to sleep fulfilled.

You are a great writer and I hope this is one of many yet to come.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

Thanks for sharing.

gave up on this one. Maybe there were to many characters for me to picture/remember. Fiction - I know - but still over the top. If RAAC, why would he go back? TAGS - Wasn't he in Guatemala?

this chapter advanced the plot. If it were a novel, I could see this action packed sequence. But it's a short story, so words matter. He found out that the snake she married was still a snake and that she divorced him. He could have gotten an email from an old friend and accomplished as much a in a couple of paragraphs.

Hopefully the "author" gives Literotica an editor's credit in the acknowledgements when he tries to sell this story.

Regarding the 1000 USD note:

"The Federal Reserve began taking high-denomination bills out of circulation in 1969, after an executive order by President Nixon. As of May 30, 2009, only 336 $10,000 bills were known to exist; 342 remaining $5,000 bills; and 165,372 remaining $1,000 bills.[10] Due to their rarity, collectors will pay considerably more than the face value of the bills to acquire them. Some are even in museums in other parts of the world."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_denominations_of_United_States_currency

Regarding the FNX 45 "revolver":

http://www.fnhusa.com/products/handguns/fnx-series/fnx-45/

Gonna be a long coupla days waiting for Chapter Four.

BTW, the FNX 45 is a semi auto not a revolver (It IS a badass weapon). A 16 shot revolver would be something to behold...

It is not a loving wife story,this is more like novelle.

Too much names in this story.

Five years went really fast,what happend there ???

This was just violence, partially even not believable. If all the casualties of this story are really needed for the plot, it could have been done with less details. The descriptions of all the weapons they carried were just boring, the violent scenes were disgusting and nothing for Lit, at least not for LW.

I was allways attracted by DQS' stories , but this was disappointing.

This chapter had too much going on that seemed out of place with the rest of the story. It was entertaining and interesting, but in three pages of words the only thing new I learned is that her husband is a snake and is getting butt fucked. While that does achieve a sense of karmic justice, I do think that these three pages could have been put to better use by adding things that furthered the plot. Just my opinion.

Waiting for the final chapter.

I was afraid it was over after the Second chapter, I like when your Brought the DA in,glad you're back here,I paid for your other works and thoroughly enjoyed them,please keep up the good work

I have my usual quibble about firearms. The FNX is an automatic, not a revolver. Also I don't understand the the complaints from the ubiquitous "Anonymous". If you don't like DanielQSteel1 then don't read him. Better yet, write something yourself(selves).

THAT THIS STORY IS NOT TO BE FINISHED SANS 1 or 2 MORE CHAPTERS. tk u mlj lv nv

Hopefully the final installment does not follow the pattern set: Ch 1 - four stars, Ch 2 - three stars, Ch 3 - two stars.

About 10 dead people so she could send Micheal a "forgive me" note and money he did not want. Who walks around South American bad lands with a brief case hand cuffed to his arm? Even with multiple "body guards" it broadcast "kill me and rob me". Loads of people to accommodate that wish from bad guys to police to generals to politicians. It was letter and damn check that would fit quite nicely into a pocket. It South American bad lands, not Wall Street.

Most importantly, it was all really unnecessary for the story line. One guy could have showed up with a letter and check, and provided Micheal the update.

But then, I like violence. It's far more effective than arguing with a liar or reasoning with a imbecile. The slut's pretty much out of the picture, and Michael's trying to not fuck married women. The only problem I see is I'm starting to like Michael. When I considered him a scumbag I couldn't care less if he ended up back with Deirdre; they deserved each other. Now, as he is shaping up as a decent man; it would be a crying shame if he ended up back with her.

Entertaining but Michael is starting to read like a Matt Moreau hero on steroids. Meets a slut whore, marries the slut whore, is surprised when the slut whore continues to be a slut whore, then buries himself away in a third world shithole for the next several years to lick his wounds.

Anyone with a lick of sense would never have married a woman who thought it was great fun to be drugged with a date-rape drug and gang-banged while comatose unless his interest was financial. Anyone with a lick of sense would have simply moved on and found a woman who had her head screwed on straight.

Physical beauty is skin deep and fades with time. It may cover, or at least distract from internal ugliness but the ugliness eventually shines through. Internal beauty lasts a lifetime.

She has a $250M oil empire. Problem solvers on the payroll and available at a moments notice and the best they could come up with is going to Guatemala with an obvious assault team and a handcuffed briefcase. She knew what he did to the last check 5 years earlier why would she think he wouldn't do it again? We don't know he did. Wouldn't it had made more sense to open a bank account in his name or in trust for him and have someone who blends in hand deliver her letter? He cant burn the bank account, cant make grand gestures. Either ignore it dispose of it or use it. No one dies.

I hope you does not write Reconciliation.

BTW I read about Belize where the armed men walk on the streets, but the tropical Beach are saftly for tourists.

Lots of action. Great dialogue. Especially the one at the end of the chapter, with Davidson.

No emotional depth. This was Tarentino on the written page, lol.

Most of your characters reconcile by the last page. I hope this isn't the case. Let me harken back to Lyle in the first story you posted here. Walk away !!

AMerryman

......most of the serious commentators are spot on. This chapter was interesting and entertaining but:

- It doesn't really move the story along.

- It was filler; with no real connection to the first two chapters.

- It has timeline issues with the on-board ship violence.

- It was confusing at times (too many names to keep straight).

- It exhibits as lack of firearm knowledge, where there should have been some.

- it seemed rushed.

- It was not up to your usual standards.

Having said all of this, I confess that I am a "reader" not a writer. Never in a million years could I compose something as good as what you share with us on Lit. I truly enjoy your work as it is "head and shoulders" above the majority of writers contributing to this site. And I enjoy it for what it is...................free entertainment.

As always, thank you for sharing your stories with us.

Brujay

I'm liking the adventure part, the characters from other stories, and the larger-than-life protagonist. I'm looking forward to more. Minor but annoying detail: The FNX-45 is a fine semi-automatic handgun than can hold 15+1 rounds. It is not a revolver.

I can't wait , so glad your back

I chuckle at the chuckleheads who want to be editors so much they nit pick events in the story. Even though this is longer than a Phillip Dick short story it still really is novella length. That means in any story where time passes events have to be assumed as occurring off stage. The prose is smooth. Dialogue very believable. Enjoying immensely except. Well except for the burning of the $10 million cashier checks. Have the same feeling I did as when in the movie Titanic the female lead threw the jewel in the ocean. Pissed me off. Waste pisses me off particularly when it for the dubious concept of honor. It is DQs baby and his creative process so he can do it the way he wants it. Good thing I am not Micheal's friend. I would sneak up on him and put him down by beating his ass for stupidity. Ridiculous male pride inherent in our sex. I would have given the first check to Maitland for expenses and the second to the families of those killed instead of wasting resources on senseless and useless gestures that mean nothing to those he is making the symbolic gesture for including himself. God it pisses me off. OK now you all can crucify me for being hypocritical for criticizing others who tried plot modifications. DQ I wish I had been your editor I would have talked to you about that gesture because it makes your protagonist less worthy of our attention and caring.

SHould have edited my comment. Wroting is a new word I found in the Oxford Dictionary. Not really just bad typing. sub writing for it.

Might have given the first check away but this is over the top bad movie noble.

This is approx. the 52nd comment (so far) on 'publish day!' Nothing says 'Welcome Back, DQS!' better than that.

Gotta agree that Hubby's BadAss-ity was well established in earlier chapters! The 'Gunfight at the Chapin Corral' was a large bit over-the-top in plausibility. DQS, please remember that you can get by with one big 'forgiveness of credulity' per chapter or maybe two smaller ones. The GATCC, by itself, exhausted all four chapters' worth. More, if you count the Policia Municipal not hearing OR getting word of the biggest and loudest fireworks display of the year!

I have seen $500 and $1K US bills, in private hands (different people) ... and a $10K and $100K bill in a large bank. It seems odd that, as the value of a dollar shrinks, more convenient bills have been eliminated. Of course, plastic and electronic transmissions are fast making cash more anachronistic!

Although I like this story so far, it HAS moved over to a 'Guily Pleasure!' Actually, since LIT is a GP for me anyway, this tale has become a nestled GP within another!

5* (What the Hell)

for now.

none of them related even remotely to the others.

.

Yet another writer who read some gun magazines and blogs to come up with what he thinks is an astounding array of personal firearms to dazzle novices. Novices such as yourself. Ever travel the world and try to find ammunition in obscure calibers? The hammer spring in your impractical Bond Ranger derringer breaks. Where in Central America do you find a replacement? A Glock in 9mm, a rifle (the AK) in 7.62x39mm ... the most common calibers in the world. Keep it simple, it works for real professionals.

And your shoulder holster fetish needs addressing. We who carry for a living tote our guns on or under the belt.

I'm sticking with you. Although you went way off the reservation with weaponry, I want to see where you're going with this one. I'm a loyal LW/DQS reader. Just don't turn good old Mike into a cream-pie eater that takes Rosie Rotten Crotch (Deirdre) back in tears.

I am glad that you are back.

But this story with almost unreadable plot is so beneath you.

Shocking loss of friends, also like 45 ACP, women can do that to a man and Grandfather (CPA and restaurateur) left letter and 3 1K notes in Dad's SDB still there now. Now I do not have a problem with DQS writing, just saying good entertainment is where you find it...

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

I've read all the comments. Ok, I agree most of them have value and make good points...but I like the story and am with DQS 1000%. Keep writing DQS. 5++

So little plausibility even a strong 4th wouldn't rescue it.

Even the weaving-in of characters from other stories doesn't sit well with the plot as it stands - sorry but this is not up to your previous standards.

leVebit to yourself to successfully add an unexpected layer to a story. It seems you have successfully "Parked" the plot to give us a bit of rare and very much appreciated action (something sorely missing in LW). Looking forward to you throwing the plot back in drive and popping the clutch to take us on the rest of this ride! Cheers

"You always have to deal with the consequences of your actions, no matter how long it takes before the bill comes due."

We are supposed to walk away with the idea that Michael's actions are the catalyst for all the misery that happens on this chapter. Bullshit. The spoiled, insane bitch Deirdre is the source of EVERYONE'S problems. He burned up the check? She didn't even want him to have the money in the first place because her pretty boy, Gutman didn't want him to have it. He left her? She fired him and got him edged out in the area. She chose to replace her loving husband with a nasty, arrogant pretty boy. Michael simply exposed her as a fraud, made her honestly face her actions, and then walked away and had nothing further to do with her. Only an insane bitch would track him down in the middle of nowhere to pay him off to salve her soul.

Michael's only action that might accrue fault was to get involved with the bitch in the first place and love her. She was screwed up when he met her and some broken things cannot ever be repaired. To now "blame" Michael for the consequences is grossly unfair and misguided.

It's really great having you back on Literotica and giving us another dose of your writing. For one I would love to know what the letter said. Too bad it was burned but that had to be I guess.

I'm waiting to see how all this works out in the final segment. I suppose more twists and turns are still coming.

Congrats. The style of this chapter was totally unexpected. Five out of five. Loved seeing Hugh Davidson from Ghosts and Shadows putting in an appearance. Loved the pace and speed of this chapter. I haven't read the WWWM chapter about the gun fight at the court house yet but now I really, really want to.

I wonder if he really burned that letter without reading it. I wonder if he really burned the second banker's cheque. Remember, he just said he did. I assume they are like cash and each time it costs her $10 million from her account? Perfect.

Glad to hear Dierdre's marriage ended the way I hoped it would. Most satisfying. That plot line is almost a parralel version of what happened with Gail Hunt. Very clever.

It is an observation not a criticism, but this story - no matter how much I am enjoying - doesn't carry the same emotional weight of some of DQS's other stories. We just aren't getting into McCarthy's inner self like we have with other characters. Hints but not the full inside the brain tour.

With all these past characters popping up can one hope Paul and Paula are in the next chapter. I swear i would have a story-gasm.

I also love how one of the characters suggested McCarthy donate this new $10 million to charity. That was a suggestion several commenters made after the last chapter. Is DQS reading these comments.

Also I can't believe how many negative comments there are. This may be a case of trying to tear down the king. Or it maybe because there isn't too much sex. Just ignore them DQS. Hope the last chapter is nice and long. Cheers Steve

Let's see - the $1,000 dollar bill thing struck me too - while $100 bills run the drug business, anything larger is no longer currency and is a red-flag collectable.

The chained briefcase also was a bit of a red flag - but I suppose one could use the SOD check for that one... I mean, that's the way it's done, right?

D. is still a drama queen. But some of the others are not that much better.

We get a little more about M... the "catch at the throat" moment was the real reveal, not the will-kill-as-it-becomes-necessary.

Dark nights of the soul... not yet, but coming soon.

Good topic - I'm looking forward to the conclusion. I don't see the same as most, in fact I see a philosophical point that has already been made... and now a denouement that can only reinforce that point, not the invalidation of it the commentariat seems to obsess about.

Green-something

(I see dead people.... no, actually I see market research. I think the goal should be handkerchiefs, but you don't have much time to vest in the duo to drive that kind of resolution, and the solo bit you seem to be heading for is weaker than a two part revelation. She needed the jerkoff's kid. Actually, she may have the jerkoff's kid. Humm.... you may have to pay me for that one.)

what the hell is this? I thought I was reading a Loving Wives story on litEROTICA...

just silly

Because this story is falling apart fast that why? What did this chapter do for the story? Ton of pointless violence

but we did find out that all of bad times events hard ship that everyone has gone through is all Michael's fault? I mean that is Just offensive

But I have to agree with several others in that it did little to advance the plot. I could care less about the inaccuracies (1,000 dollar bills, etc.). It's free fiction. I don't expect thoroughly researched stories here. After most of the cuck crap that's been inundating this category of late, this is a breath of fresh air from an author I've missed.

While they are paid for in advance like money orders and burning them does not return the money immediately, checks and money orders generally have a six month expiration if not cashed.

Then the buyer can get a refund with the receipt.

This is to allow for them being lost.

So no money was lost forever.

To throw shit up against the wall and see if it sticks!

Now you know it doesn't.

I love your stories and the first two chapters were great, but I wasn't sure why we needed this chapter? Things were zipped up after chapter 2. All that happened here was a lot of good people got killed because the drug needing, gang bang queen, can't handle rejection. So she and her millions go chasing across the world to ultimately destroy Michael's life again, killing his family, friends, and innocent people - all under the belief that these actions equate to love. They don't. They can't. There is no need for another chapter either. But if you do, after the devastation Ms. Lancaster-Gutman created in this chapter Michael cannot accept reconciliation. Davidson and Henry cannot work for Deirdre again - the results of her decision to have them do this for her proves she cannot grasp the potential risks, she is mentally unsound and she is far too incompetent to lead a company like Lancaster Oil. Lastly, Mr. Stephens' daughter should go after Deirdre to avenge the foolishness that killed her father. Just don't have her hire the same hit man Gutman did...oh wait that cop is dead too because of Deirdre's bad decisions...have her use Grove...that outta set things straight.

When did they start making those?

As with all of the stories written by dqs1 the grammar is good.

But all his stories follow the same plot.

Wife leaves husband after having an affair, lives with new guy for a time then leaves new guy and ex husband takes her back.

It's just variations of the same theme.

Even though the writing is good it does not excuse the lack of creative imagination, and that is the most important aspect of being an author.

Ok, so now he knows about the "revolver" mistake. There are numerous responses just about that. Quit beating him up about it.

For the responder talking about the same caliber choices being wrong, I kinda disagree with that. Having compatible calibers to me means, that if one goes down, then you can use the ammo at least in your backup if you have time to swap it to other magazines.

To the poster. Here's my constructive criticism. First, on the guns, since you seem to like the .45ACP, if you have a Glock 21 and the smaller Glock 30 Subcompact, the magazine from the larger Glock 21 will fit in the smaller Glock 30, thus enabling the caliber compatibility you might have been looking for to work the best. Second, the guys are right about shoulder holsters rarely being used. I know a guy that does it when he's riding his motorcycle and it makes sense in that situation to do so. It would've been better to have it in an IWB (inside the waistband) holster and an ankle holster with the backup and a spare mag holster on the opposite hip.

With all that said, this chapter seemed to me to rushed. Very rushed. Lots of gratuitous violence as well. Still not sure without the fourth installment whether it fits with the flow of the overall story. We'll just have to see.

Anyways, keep writing. Sometimes, as an author, you hit it out of the park and sometimes you don't. It happens to even the big name authors too. Don't let it get to you. But, one thing you absolutely have to do is fact check. Develop a host of consultants. Got a story that features a cool car? Talk to your car consultant. Got one that features guns? Talk to the gun consultant. Got one about boats or yachts? You get the picture. That way embarrassing posts like this with the guns wouldn't have gotten out.

Davidson came up to the wheelhouse, interrupting my musings. Before he could say a thing I had the Bond derringer pressed to his forehead.

"Not a fucking word, Davidson. If you open that mouth I'll splatter your brains all over the wall and toss your dead body into the sea, then go down and toss Henry right behind you. But I won't kill him, I'll just leave him treading water while the sharks circle your body, letting him wonder when they'll get around to noticing him. Understand?"

Davidson wasn't a coward, but he wasn't an idiot either. He knew he'd brought a world of pain and aggravation to me, and he wasn't safe enough in his mind to risk doing something to make me snap. He nodded, slightly flinching as I pressed the barrel against his forehead.

"Good, now you go back and tell that bitch what she caused by her actions. Men died today, men who'd never heard of her and could have given a shit less about her. Good men, men with families, families with children who'll grow up never knowing their father, or with children old enough to mourn them. Bad men died, victims of circumstance and poor judgement. Most had families too. Not that she would give a fuck. Tell her."

I stopped, aware I was shaking and had thrown back the hammer. Davidson was a little pale, but smart enough to stay still.

"And Davidson, tell her the next bunch she sends down here won't have a chance, I'll drop them where I find them. I'll send the briefcase back still locked, the arm still handcuffed to it. Then I'll methodically bring a world of hurt to anyone she's close to. Think she'd enjoy seeing Uncle Mort in wheelchair, permanently hooked to a catheter? Think she'd enjoy seeing that big titted boss of yours with a face so carved up no surgeon in the world could fix it? I've seen your wife, she's pretty hot for her age. Wonder how she'd like some South American hospitality? Are you understanding me here?"

I'd struck a nerve when I mentioned his boss and wife, could see the growing hatred in his eyes. I lowered the gun.

"Good. Now we understand each other. All that needs to happen to prevent all of this is to convince her to leave me alone. Make her understand. Now you'd best go down and freshen up, we'll be docking in about twenty minutes."

I'd felt Henry's eyes on me from the steps leading to the wheelhouse. "That goes for you, too, Henry. Make everyone understand how bad this idea was, and how much worse it will be if there is a next time."

They left without a word. I idly thought about all I'd said and the weapons that were scattered about in the lounge. Davidson would put me down without thought, and Henry might think about it, but he'd try if he had to. Still, I'd given them an out, stop fucking with me and it all went away. Plus they were on my turf, and they needed my contacts to clean up the huge mess that they had caused.

Still kept a pistol handy as day broke, thinking about where I could recruit a new crew, or if I even wanted to bother. Maybe I'd take the money I'd socked away in various places and disappear, find me a nice little Latina and settle down. Maybe even an expatriate, as long as she didn't have red hair.

Either all the chapters should be posted together, or one should make sure that a new chapter appears every day. There is too much gap between the chapters. For me, this is an indication that the author does not really care if people have to wait for the remaining chapters, quite a sadist approach. Learn something from Stangstar06, he always posts stories in one go, even if they are long.

with regards to the story, the first two chapters were nice but chapter 3 was completely not required. and post chapter 4 soon, unless you want to continue enjoying torturing people in their wait.

....I thoroughly enjoyed it. I await the final installment with bated breath.

Chapter 4 was issued 3 days after Chapter 3. You are just writing rubbish. How many other stories are published on Literotica on such a timescale?

Some people just want to complain about the slightest thing. Sad and bitter people that is.

ps Keep up the good work DQS and ignore the imbeciles!

The plot advancement part was rather short. I guess that's why it was only three pages. You sure cleaned the slate of a lot of extraneous characters though. Perhaps it was in preperation for more space for the main players in the next chapter.

I first thought the American visitor's were hitmen sent by Gutman to do Mike in.

How would the story have progressed from that twist. Might make a good alternate ending yarn. What say, Daniel???

So, the families of the dead could have benefited from the $10 million, but Michael's ego was more important. Stevens used his last moments on earth to save Michaels life, but Michael couldn't be bothered to help Stevens daughter. An idiot and an asshole.

five stars. Love the action.

Thousand dollar bills have not been in circulation for 50 years. You can write whatever you want to write, but it is my right to read what you have done and say that it is totally unbelieveable and absurd. You have your hero in one paragraph hyped on testosterone and in the next acting like a pathetic wimp who loves cream pies from his wife's lovers. Pathetic

Your character are so phony. In every story. Like a bad detective novel.

Pretty good story so far and I am curious to see how it ends. One correction, if I may. Or even if I may not. The FNX 45 is NOT a revolver, it is a semi-automatic pistol. And a very nice one, at that. Last I looked they were going for around $1100 or so. D

It s now a good crime story but i have to wait what s going in the next chapter

How you will cut the knot. I wonder if he had read the letter befor burning like in the first chapter he nows a lot more than you tell us.

The predictable twist, in general. But this is too long of a chapter for nothing much going on in the plot else that we learned that "Julian" was actually a "mistake" for Deidre.

Of course now she cannot live without our perfectly moral main hero. Booohooo!

I thought this was a pretty good story. Maybe not one of DQS’s best, but still a pretty good story. Something that bugged the hell out of me was that infernal hyphen. “ - “. That thing. That thing that kept popping up (or “in”) at inappropriate places, especially in this last chapter. I’m guessing it’s just an editing error(s), but JEEZ it’s annoying. One last nitpicking thing: The FNX .45 isn’t a revolver, it’s an automatic pistol. A revolver that holds 19 .45 rounds would require a cylinder probably five inches in diameter. That would be a hell of a thing to try to carry in a hip holster. :)

Anon 3/15/19, a very quick look would show that the FNX45 caliber pistol is not a revolver. It has been used for years as high velocity 45 semi-automatic pistol, by military units around the world. Hiding behind Anon gets you no respect, publishing nonsense just proves your ignorance. It must be the results of a public schools efforts to dumb you down.

Seems DQS1 has a fetish with revolvers. The FN is a pistol. Everyone knows a pistol will out do a wheel gun. Other than that boring. Oh the miracle SAS guy is a weak plot save.

Well played DQS

In any case, you are right about Puerto Barrios. A very pretty shithole filled with murderers and other criminals. If you sell a vehicle to an undocumented Guatemalan, especially if it’s a Toyota, it will end up processed in PB.

Decent offshore fishing, though.

~Enkidu

It started off a good story but like a few of DQS's stories really doesn't finish well. The story of Michael and Deirdre started off as a true love story. Then DQS jumped their first two years of marriage to suddenly have Deirdre in love with her first boyfriend claiming amnesia so that her marriage to Michael can be annulled and she doesn't have to pay him the $10 million in the pre-nup. Then in this chapter, out of the blue 5 years later Deirdre sends him another $10 million cheque for apparently no reason at all other than to possibly get Michael killed when people fight over the cheque.

Not sure what medication DQS is on when he writes these stories but it's gotta be affecting his mind.

This story to me is a fascinating example of how less can be more in story telling. The first chapter was an intruiging setup of interpersonal drama between two characters. The last two chapters have just been completely random melodramatic action. If it weren’t for the character names you might’ve been forgiven for thinking they weren’t even the same story.

Quite apart from how far fetched and unnecessary so much of the conflict of the last two chapters is, I feel completely detached from it because the only reason I got hooked in the first place was the enigma of deidre. Crazy action scenes are meaningless without stakes rooted in characters we care about.

I just loved it........ Every G-damed word.........

Good story getting better and better (jaybee186)

loved it!...

I’m a fan but this chapter makes no sense, his in the lil industry not renowned for shoot outs at the OK corral! Has no link to the story beyond burning a cheque for $10M, which having lost people who died working for him, or protecting, him could have been used to help their families. Families he is aware the detail of. Even in fiction h7man nature should prevail, especially when he’s down to his last million. Utter bullshit!

This story started well but in this chapter he completely lost the plot.

Very disappointed given I’m a huge fan of the WWWM saga/universe.

Sorry, this is utter trash especially page 2 and 3.

There are zero $1,000 bills in circulation, and he never burned the second check or the letter. Details matter.

Plot holes.

Good story, may get better... depends on next chapter... thanks.

Waiiit a second, so his actions led to this disaster? Maybe Deirdre should have acceppted that he doesn't want anything to do with her and not send henchmen after him. Then nothing at all would have happened.