All Comments on 'The Currency of Time Ch. 04'

And not particularly well done. Too little interaction between the primary protagonists.

"You can't take money with you and it's not the measure of whether you've led a good life.

'The currency of time, the measure of what your life has been worth, are the memories you make, the people you've loved, the impact you leave behind you''

A great line, but (IMHO) very poorly exectued here, particularly by an author who has done much better in the past.

Better than most on this site, but not particularly great. I think because we know what this author is capable of we were let down a bit. But we are comparing him to himself instead of comparing him to the other worthless stories on this site. That says something about him. That says that he is in a league by himself and it isn't fair to compare him to other authors. Kind of like if Lebron James played a pick up game against a bunch of high schoolers. If his team only won by 2 points and he didn't dunk on somebody, we'd be a bit disappointed.

I'm still a fan of this author and I hope he continues to write. I can understand him not bringing his A game stories to this site to be read for free. He's already been paid for his writings. If you want WWWM quality material, you have to pay for it. That's America people.

Thank you Mr. Steele for your contribution.

D.G.1. , THIS was one screwed up story. none of the characters were like. now she got pregnant and saved the egg. had his baby. what a wacked up story.

Still a talented writer, and providing something that sits well beyond the tired idiocy that is 90% of the dramatic LW stuff these days.

But I wish you would branch out from the pulp stuff. Find a story about human beings with problems, instead of some fantasy world where the bartender is a former pro boxer, the woman serving drinks is a former Vegas call-girl, where there is always at least one millionaire involved, and where every other character isn't defined by their "type" (every lawyer is a hungry dog, every foreigner in a bar is connected to a dark underworld or drug organization, every female everywhere is gorgeous and loves being hit on, every criminal is a hardened thug, every psychologist looks like a German book keeper who secretly loves S&M, every bodyguard is a hulking brute who adores violence, etc).

There's nothing wrong with pulp. It's just a limitation placed on yourself, when you make it the only thing you are going to write. And you are too talented for limitations.

Dis-tracting.

You're good at writing sappy melodrama.

What's next? Julian getting out of prison and Dierdre claiming the boy is Julian's son? Or maybe Gramps can come back from the dead and he's actually Michaels father and Dierdre is an adopted child...the list is endless.

Neither character is worth liking or hating.

i dont always drink beer, but when i do i drink DOS EQUIS. you wrote a story based on a person from a commercial. 4 chapters of soap opera drivel.

A different take on the reconciliation formula. Creative. I liked it. The overall storyline of the 4 chapters would work (maybe better) in longer (novel) form. Despite the protag's explanation in this chapter, I never felt the connection between the two as much as in other stories such as Ghosts and Separate Vacations. 5 stars.

fallen into mediocrity with this tale, but wow did that change on page 2 with the discovery of a son. Suspending disbelief that a growing embryo can be harvested from the womb, the writing of the discovery is spell binding and produces much emotion in the reader. From there the story flew to the end.

Great job, thx for your efforts.

This was really a strange but interesting story. I understand that it is fiction and that takes the path the author designs. Ch. 3 was too violent and did more distracting than clarifying and explaining. DQS, you write very well and design interesting scenarios but this one was not your best. The ending was different and not a true ending but leaves the reading thinking and drawing his own conclusion.

Try again in the near future since you have a future here.

Tiny Tim

The salvation always comes through a child...This was the only way to save their lives from darkness...thank you for the story...4*

He hates everything. So I say 5 for effort and content and fuck you annony you hog!

so fuck you dear annony, eat shit and die

. . . that can possibly tame the Wildcatter is the sudden appearance of the unknown son. Some never settle, some finally do make the transition. A well told love story of a sort. Good job DQS.

What a horrible whore. She cheats, breaks his heart. For all purposes she aborted his children, because if it had worked with Julian she'd never have had them. She found a loophole for her morality.

Then she fucked around some more, and then decided to go after him. Got herself pregnant and cost him years of his child growing up, and the joy of those early years, and then uses it to trap him.

I couldn't despise her, or him, much more.

Which is it???

He is lost OR He has lost

This is one of your side stories...now show us how it fits into your (hopefully) continuing saga do WWWM.

There are 2,maybe 3 stories on this whole site I have said this about,and this is one of them. The best thing is you left the Deidre thing open. He didn't say he was staying for her, but for his son. Great jon.

Please keep this story going!

Frozen sperm, eggs are as possibilities. I have not heard about frozen human embryo, but I could be wrong. Let's look at Wiki.

Two categories as Forgivenness and Reconciliation. Yes for sake of his son (after DNA test Ronald Reagen's words and he told his ex he did not believe her words) Forgivinness may be, he should be in the life of his son, but Reconciliation...........

..are distracting. Makes me think you really don't care very much about your work.

Yes embryo cryopreservation is..........I could use in my serial story.........

Great story...thanks for sharing.

Is the best story DQS has ever written? No. Is it better than 90% of the stories posted on this site? Without question. Some writers establish their own standard of excellence. DQS is such a writer.

Certainly one of the best story.

Regards

Thanks for the entertainment. You sir are a craftsman, when it comes to writing. I do enjoy reading your stories. Mike from Texas.

She is still the same

He has moved on

only difference is the master manipulation hook

the son

He could stick around to be with the son

but he could do that by being near-by, not in the estate

or she could implant an-other and have a daughter.

no real ans-wers

and the formatting glitch with all the hy-phens was annoying.

the sickos that wrote on this day can read your story and think of the garbage they posted, maybe now they will go away.

Must've been a fire sale on hyphens at the grammar store. Danny even got a bunch of double hyphens. Hope he didn't pay his 2 "professional" editors. Better yet, I hope this chapter was self-edited and they never even saw this before it was posted.

If you've seen Speilberg's A.I., the last bit of the movie was in "tribute" to Stanley Kubrick since he died during filming. I feel the same about the last 2 chapters of this story that I do about the end of A.I. Holy fuck was it god awful and useless. I'd like to think if Kubrick was alive, he'd have cut and shredded that ending from the movie. This story should've ended after chapter 2. Chapters 3 and 4 were just useless fodder.

To the RAAC comments, DQS' stories are all RAAC stories. Even Maitland's going to end up back together with what's her name.

That was a crazy-assed improbable story but very entertaining. A five. (What was with all the hyphenated words?).

Great story DQS. a very good return to literotica. I hope many more coming along! :D ! smitty

There are things might be forgiven for the sake of my kid, that would not if it's just myself. I was 100% hardcore and deadset against reconciliation . Now I dunno. No immediate forgiveness , NO WAY. But I might waver in that resolve after some years slide by . Either way, I enjoyed the ride that DQS provided, of that much- there is no doubt .

There is also no doubt that it would be great to know the fates of ' Paul and Paula '' even if its as an adjunct reveal in process of setting up another story entirely. Full marks . *****

sequel? As for this one the main character was pretty stubborn so i doubt he reconciles with her

Glad you are back, or should I say, hope that you are back. Yes, some of your characters are over the top, but what good story or novel doesn't have such? Mundane unremarkable characters aren't interesting to read about. Most of us live that life every day. We safely escape that life by living through the over the top characters that you and other good authors create.

Don't like the ending not a great story you've done better

DQS,

I cannot say I "liked" the ending, but it was a very interesting ending. Your stories always have this aspect about them. Everything is just a little "off plumb", but also with a level of realism that makes your stories so fascinating. Excellent story and well told.

He should have just killed the cheating slut of a whore and her asshole lover when he first found out what she was. Think of all the pain it would have saved him. I know some people will see the ending as a chance for him to get over what she did, but I see it as her doing her best to add to his pain and suffering.

She dangles a child in front of him that she outright tells him she won't share custody with. She tells him she knows he would not take the child from his mother, then lays out her plan for him to be the child's guardian if she dies. In other words she is torturing him with the knowledge that he could have his child if he kills her, knowing full well that if he kills her not only will he hate himself but the child will end up hating him as well.

She ruined his life and he got away from her, the child is just her way of chaining him so that she can keep him close enough so she will always be able to torment and torture him. This slut is purely evil. Oh, even if she did die she would still be torturing him because by tying him to the child and the business she would have taken his freedom from him. I don't think he is written as the kind of man who would enjoy being held in slavery, and not being free to live his life as he chooses would be slavery to a man like him.

In the end everyone still loses and the pain and misery will just go on and on.

Why do not this carachter want total (not only DNA relative) own kids...........He was almost a sperm donor, the ex wife talked about him to his kid, but he was not part of his life. The true revenge to find a new family with kids..............

Deidre is evil. She is just torturing him more. First having the affair with Julian, and sucking face with him in the settlement room. Claiming it was because she was young and foolish. Then having the audacity to get pregnant 3 times by him, and interrupting the pregnancies. She is truly a vile and evil woman. But McCarthy is an honorable man, and he cannot turn away from his child. But he will never touch her again. Please

........................but I really liked it. I read for MY enjoyment. The "larger than life" your characters are are, the better I like them. Your stories are fun and enjoyable to read. You sir, have found a unique story formula that is truly makes the read well worth the time.

As always, thank you for sharing your stories with us and welcome back!

Brujay

I can even overlook that Michael is ridiculously larger than life and that Deirdre the gazillionaire has been quietly waiting for him for 10 years as the only suitable man on the planet. You still create characters that we care about and cheer for. Well done again!

I do not normally comment on stories I read at this site, but this chapter was the icing on the cake. It was a first class setup. His so called friend, O'Brien and his shank of a wife, were the two that led Michael to the gallows. Why couldn't they keep their noses out of Michael's business and let him lead his own life is beyond me. His ex-wife was nothing more than a whore before and after they were married. She cheated on him when he was trying to make a better life for her and she had the guts to run around with her lustful first love. Michael is and has been living the life he wants and now everyone wants to change that with money or kids. He doesn't need the money and I doubt if he really wants the kid. His ex-wife has once again been able to sink her claws into him because that is what SHE thinks is the BEST for HIM. Funny thing is, none asked him what he wanted or thinks. I say this because this is what I think and feel.

DQS you had me with this one ,right till the end. Main character was a noble hardass, something I can relate to. The girl was stupid and immature, but was written well enough that even with her shortages I was still hoping for her. Then you left the ending way to open to give closer to the chapter. My ending would have added one more line.

O'Brien looked over at his wife smiled and said" he is a good man , I think he may have found his way home. Time will tell darling time will tell."

Leaves the unanswered question floating, gives you the ability to continue the story and gives a more closed ending. But just my feelings, as always love your writing.

So big deal. DQS writes well. That's all I ever hear. But when I read his stories, I want to vomit. His men are all soul mates to vile, evil cunts. DQS is obviously, at least in his mind, a big-time voluntary cuckold, because he can't get over the bitch to whom he was/is married. He and his characters are forever tied to one woman who will torture them for the rest of their lives. Jesus fucking Christ, there are lots of good women out there. Get your head out of your ass and go find one! Oh, maybe they all don't have the big tits you require. Your loss is my gain, asshole!

You were gone too long. So many of us really missed you

That's what most of your critics are. The ending was just brilliant. After the first three chapters, I could not imagine how you could bring all this together. And then the (totally unexpected) child. Gimmick? Maybe, but a wonderfully inspired one. It's still not Ghosts and Whispers--the greatest DQS ever--but it's still damn good. This is a wonderful entertainment.

It sounds like you read all his story. If you have read all his story and they made you vomit, why read his story?

in the end you make him loose. Not very believable. But overall the story was entertaining.

nother fun DQS story. Worth a 5. I need to think about the ending like always.

Bitch

This should not be the last chapter to this story. It is a very good story. This can not be the end of the story. Make it a 5 and add another chapter to his life. Maybe he is more human then we are lead to believe. Great end to the chapter tho.

a load of mixed up crappy characters...who gives a fu.. aout any of them I allways read your storys just to see how bad they can get and I am never disapointed ---they get real bad

pud

He lose...

Did not like the end but such is life, the writing was good as always...

It feels unfinished. Also, you have more small spelling errors and such than you have in your past stories. I didn't intend to give you 5 stars, but these fat fingers of mine did it anyway.

The female character’s motivation better than most DQS females… she was wrong as hell, but sufficiently within the realm of the understandable stupidity of misguided, spoiled youth to generate some empathy for her position – very unlike most DQS female leads that are simply selfish skanks (i.e. very interesting and well-written selfish skanks mind you!) that always have some mystical power over the protagonist – Such power that is really only comparable to Kryptonite’s power over Superman… as all of DQS’ male protagonists are Greek-hero quality. Perhaps that’s the best way to view DQS’ work – as a Greek mythology variant of the LW drama…

Greek mythology plot outline (modified for LW):

Birth-development-love-conflict/cheat-death/divorce (aka swallowed by a monster, time in purgatory, captured by Hades, etc.) then rebirth (which DQS equates to some form of reconciliation)

Needs more to finish the story!

Very good story. Lots of action and a complicated plot. Make it a little contrived really.

The lack of emotional development of your characters made the ending lose impact.

I must add this has a bit to much JPB . So 3*s.

I look forward to the next posting , with practice the old skills will return. Thanks again DSQ1.

AMerryman

Gotta concur with BNB & LSD!

The Chapines call it - puro Cinco!

I thoroughly enjoyed the tale, however I feel the the legal team that represented the wife needs some form of punishment for the way they screwed McCarthy.

That's why I'm surprised over the many hyphens misplaced throughout the story. Possibly you hyphenated words at the end of lines and the hyphens stayed in the writing when it was restructured for publishing. In any case, I enjoyed the story and look forward to more from you.

The worst tale of this writter

Sci-fi RAAC, that's new for me.

So she screwed him over once again, had his child, stole the boy's first years from his father and all is fine and dandy. Would it be so unnatural for your characters to just MOVE THE FUCK ON for a change?

I really liked DQS when he wasn't another Matt Moreau. Now, not so much.

I just hope that someday you will see fit to finish WWWM, I'm still waiting for those damn books.

You get a 2* from this one.

That was the worst story ever. I would give Zero stars if I could. One star, only because that is the minimum allowed.

The very last thing Micheal wanted or needed is a kid with her after all the shit she put him through. This selfish, stupid bitch actually came up with and played the "Retroactive Keep a Dude Baby" card. How fucked up is that?

A woman like that would certainly be a worse mother than she was a daughter and wife. Poor kid.

This whole thing should have ended in Part 1 when he walked out and said "You are dead to me".

You are a great writer, but sometimes you wander too much...

in chapter 1 you say that they found the wreckage of Michael's father's plane but never found him, but in this chapter describe the graveyard as the "final resting place of Eileen and Patrick Mccarthy".

Plenty of divorced people have children and still hate their exes' guts. He'll come back to visit, maybe even move back to be in his son's life every day, if for no other reason than to try to keep the kid from making the same mistakes he made as a youth and to try to make sure he doesn't grow up to be like his mother. Doesn't mean he has to forgive the ex for what she did to him. And sooner or later, Junior will ask his dad why he so obviously hates his mother, and he'll learn the real reason why he had no father for the first ten years of his life.

and now Why. TK U MLJ LV NV

Probably more of a memorial than a tomb. A place for closure for the family, not his resting place.

FET is apparently viable, so the child is his. However, the gist of this story is that he fell in love with a spoiled rich manipulator who wanted to make sure that she didn't lose her inheritance. Once daddy died, she took what she wanted, shit all over her husband (whom she never intended to be with for long anyway) and took 3 chances of being a father from him. She is literally the worst excuse for a human being I have seen in any of your stories and he is supposed to fall for her again because she is holding his child captive.

I have went back to the previous 3 installments and given them 1 star, especially the second one where you brought in a previous character for little to no reason (except possibly to drum up further sales offsite for that series). This chapter also gets 1 star. You simply have lost whatever you had, this was a waste of my time reading through.

...but not as good as DQS1's other offerings. "Separate Vacations" and "Ghosts And Shadows" are by far superior, while his magnum opus "When We Were Married" remains the most epic story in Literotica and this recent four-parter cannot be even considered in the same league.

Contrary to what some might infer, this story does not end in "RAAC" but does give the nomadic protagonist a tether to his wayward life. While reconciliation could be in the pipeline, the reader has been provided with enough hints that Michael's priorities lies with his heir rather than his ex-wife.

She on the other hand is not the typically desperate, overly repentant and clingy wife we read about in other RAAC stories. We can surmise her pursuit of her scorned hubby was done for selfish reasons: namely that she used his DNA to produce the child because he was the only one who treated her without due regard to her magnificent empire. So, she used her corrected conscience to "involve" the sire in the life of their progeny.

However, don't let her noble act fool you: even though she has improved from her former malicious bitch self, she still has not fully atoned for her sins. She has made it clear that joint custody is out of the question so she is essentially coercing Michael into coming back into her life on her terms.

I prefer the wanton femmes in "The Last Goodbye" and "Slip Of The Tongue" to the heiress in this tome because they exhibit more grace - but more importantly - are written with greater depth. Deirdre is less fleshed out and comes across as spoilt rich kid who is disparate from the mature version despite what we are led to believe in her brief explanation towards the end of this episode.

Go back to not writing. It's better that way.

...so you fir-ed your editor, de-leted Grammer Check, and put together this four chap-ter cut & paste. Hmmm. Continue with your therapy, avoid too much salt, exercise regularly but unpredictably, and stop watching daytime TV. No more Maury for you.

thus was just WRETCHED ... Its so vile and badly done i thought i was reading a matt moreau story.

DQS dude.... You have lost you sill

....but I have to say I don't care much for your reconciliation endings. You stack the deck so far against the poor guy, he's nearly forced to suck up a future as unpalatable as death by anthill.

And I don't care for them mostly because a man that's been that screwed over by a woman should never put himself in harm's way (as regards her) again. It's stupid, masochistic and self destructive.

It is, in my experience, far more common for them both to carry their baggage forward and to never have a deep, trusting connection with another mate again.

I'm a worse kind of fool. I reconciled and am still married to the same woman that tore my soul from my frame.....but I don't trust her any more than the men and women I meet or work with trust their exes.

Some damage, you just don't get over.

At best it can be termed as a futile attempt by DQS to regain his old glory ... nothing so striking about the story and to make things worse ..he tries to create sensation , suspense , sentiments and drama with the emergence of Maccarthy's son and how ..? By the not so believable cock and bull story of preserving their sperm-eggs for future use by his Ex-wife ....

The only thing good about the story I liked is the concept of "The Currency of Time " ...Very true ...the memories , the experiences and how these aspects change the person's life and his outlook towards it , can't simply be measured in terms of the Currency of the State , Currency of Time is priceless ....

Anyway good effort by DQS to reach his fans again ... and I appreciate the effort ...hope we get something better in future ..

Its is so nice to have a well crafted and developed story on Lit again. Hopefully there are a few more chapters to come of this tale

Too much missing from the story. Almost no emotional content, so not much interest for me with this submission.

Nothing about the marriage or their interactions while married.

Story was great until a hollow end.

We know that big tits are good. We don't know why the wife in the story married Michael. We know that he couldn't resist a nice ass. We don't know why the banker guy would travel to some shithole to deliver money to some idiot. We know that big tits are good. We don't know why she didn't deposit the money in an account for the guy and just have a message delivered to that effect. We didn't know she was knocked up three times and never gave birth, but kept the embryos. We know that Jacksonville is home to the most big titted women in the world. We don't know why the new husband didn't just embezzle a bunch of money rather than try to kill a woman that is divorcing him since we do know that the cheating, soon to be divorced husband is always the number one suspect. We don't know why she wanted to see Michael again since she did nothing but shit on him all the time they were together. We know he must be a masochist, but he does like big tits. We don't know how a woman with amnesia can control her finances and deprive her husband of his rights. We know the guy likes duck when it is prepared just right. We don't know how the blood thirsty body guard planned on getting away with killing so many people and grabbing the ten million bucks when everyone knew he went to the shit hole with the folks that died. We know that big tits are good!

I thought she admitted to her abortions in chapter 1, especially Gutman's kid. Not exactly Catholic doctorine. However, at least we discover that she claims to be "sorry" for killing all those people in chapter 3. Not sure how she got absolution for those sins but it seems the penance included going down the block to the frozen fetus store, retrieving one of the many frozen fetuses that she had carved out of her in her younger days, making sure she selected one that was Michael's, and reimplanting it to show a man how much she loves him.

John Hinckley tried to kill President Reagan to prove his love for Jody Foster and he's put away for life. This bitch is 10 times crazier than John and yet no one does anything to stop her. She is responsible for a PILE of dead people. She reimplants a fetus to force a child on the man she "loves". She runs a major corporation. And those who claims to be Michael's friends supports her over him. Why is no one willing to stop this psycho or help Michael ... WHY?!?

This is the end. WTF !!!

This story has no emotions and he is a fool to even talk to her.

What a bulshit story

The comment that Sugar made at the end of your story ;"He's lost." Does that mean we have to read between the lines or that Deirdre has won and she now has Michael knowing that his son will tie him to her? I know that there are days I'm a little slow on the subtle aspects, bit it would still be nice to have it spelled out for people like me. Irregardless, I truly enjoy your writing..

I waited till the end to rate/comment.

Good writing but the pieces don't tie off. All the characters play as portrayed except Michael. To me he comes across as indecisive in one chapter and the flip in another. For me that kind of takes away from the reading enjoyment.

Side note; the end, if it really is, was a dud. I finished reading and mentally commented "That's it? All that for this? A letdown...".

It feels like two different stories, but I'm still glad to see you writing again.

Leaving aside the bullshit amnesia angle of chapter 1, the insane reasoning of a top teir law firm willing to break so many laws they would die in jail all to keep a clients scumbag lover happy along with the other legal antics of chapter 2, the pointless and out of place chapter 3 and the cliche ridden chapter 4 suspended animation kid out of nowhere not to mention the sheer amount of suspension of disbelief required for any of the characters actions in any of the chapters.

The question I'm left with is why did she have Michael's kid. She didn't love him, respect him or care about him in the slightest way and willing aborted his children on the sly. She was happy to fuck him out of what he was due from there marriage despite a deathbed promise to her father and was more than happy to ruin his career and send him to prison by making false rape and abuse claims all just to make her fuck buddy happy. So why did she bother to put their unborn kid in suspended animation just in case and later have the fetus re-implanted?

DQS is an excellent, excellent writer. He's one of the main reasons I decided to try writing on this site. I was absolutely thrilled when he popped back up again.

But the whole story left a bad taste in my mouth. The plot, disjointed scenes, the annoying hypenated words in the last chapter, makes it seems like someone else wrote it. No editor in the universe would have left the errors in. I'm still not sure what to make of it.

I'll still read everything you publish. You're still one of my heroes.

Respectfully,

Q

Good warm up, a little stretching, couple wind-sprints to get that ink flowing, et voila nous somme pret! Looking forward to your next.

This is definitely a story to look forward to in every way- drama, characters, emotional challenge, and open ended possibilities for conclusion.

Thanks for sharing your talent and I look forward to you next effort.

All these people bitching about various mistakes, complaining about freely offered work. I had a roommate who for a while was bringing cases of wine to our group meetings. After a while, some of the people starting bitching about "this wine tastes funny.... This one has vegetal overtones...". Needless to say he stopped bringing the wine. My point is that submitted stories are optional for you to read. If you feel like shitting all over them, does it make you feel good about yourself? Stupid trolls.

I like your work very much and hope that you don't take the negative comments too harshly. I am very happy to see one of the best writers on Literotica return to submitting stories. The bouquet? Excellent.

I am no literary critic but I do enjoy your writing. Thanks for a great story and please don't wait so long to post another one!!!!!!

I feel like this story is not for me, although I quickly read most of chapter 4, just to get a feel of how it concluded.

In retrospect, WHEN WE WERE MARRIED was truly a first rate LITEROTICA piece of soap opera. Long as that was, I must have read it more than twice, and did it very slowly, too, since it was very tragic and emotional and believable... So even some years later, once I started reading a paragraph or two, most of the story came rushing back to me. The story was about two tragic people who were, ultimately, loveable despite their great flaws.

This current story, however, seems to have neither believable nor likeable central characters... from most of the comments and from rapidly reading through the last chapter, again, to get a gist of the main characters and their dialogues, I think it would be mostly a waste of time to try to read it...

That was a BIG deus ex machina, and a BAD one too.

"No. I didn't abort any of the three times I got pregnant.

So I tried and we lost the first embryo. We tried again and Michael was born."

She just KILLED one their children! Can you make her any more EVIL? Why would he let her BLACKMAIL him back? Why do you need to force this RAAC on us? Come on!

On the one hand, the story was fairly well-written and easy to read. On the other hand, the plot had some serious holes and actual mistakes. An example of the former involves the types of weapons carried by the mercenaries in the south-of-the-border bar. Some of the weapons carried by one individual involved mixed calibers -- 9 mm and .357 magnum, for example. Pretty unlikely, because reloading a weapon could result in a delay if trying to load the wrong ammo. That would be awful in a gunfight. I looked up some of the weapon models cited in the story so I believe I'm right about this.

An actual mistake is the idea of removal of an embryo implanted in the uterus, freezing of said embryo, and then re implanting the same embryo years later. Unless this is the science fiction genre, such is not medically possible, at least not yet. It would have been more plausible if Dierdre had simply arranged to jack hubby off, then freeze his sperm while he lay in bed (and she was allegedly going to the bathroom or something). She then could have used his frozen sperm to become pregnant at a later date using assisted reproductive technology (i.e., go to a fertility clinic) when they were divorced.

None of the main characters was particularly sympathetic. And the hyphenations in chapter four were a major distraction and annoyance. The plot was left hanging at the end, and the conflicts were not really resolved at the finish of the story. I liked the author's general writing style -- it was captivating and kept the reader interested. The imagery was generally good as well. But the plot, while containing some originality, suffered compared to other stories by this author -- it needed to be tight and it wasn't. So my overall score for the entire story went down -- I'd give it a 3.5, because I liked it in spite of the errors -- but it is not something I would re-read, like "Separate Vacations," which had a much more coherent plot. Thanks for writing.

Many thanks for posting this wonderful story. I really enjoyed it and will certainly read again.

I knew that I too would fall in love with the bitch from hell, even before she grew up and repented. How can you resist the combination of red hair, deep green eyes and long shapely legs; not possible! So I too am lost.... I also liked the hero: he was deeply hurt and he hated her rightly so. He wouldn't take her money or communicate with her but in the end he behaved like a man and not a wimp by actually being strong enough to swallow his pride and dedicate himself to his son and be with his one true love, despite all the evil and despicable things she had done to him. A story for adult and not the juvenile mentalities who want to 'burn the bitch' at every opportunity.

Probably asking too much DQS but I would love a Chapter 5 where they do reconcile more deeply but with her having to face up to and show true remorse for the terrible way she behaved. Being in love with the dickhead did not justify her abject failure to act with integrity or stand up to his neurotic demands, other than to have her husband murdered!. Neither did it justify her inflicting numerous words and acts of cruelty on her husband before, after and during the meeting. She needs to show true repentance.

Hopefully more to follow, including the rest of WWWM, fingers crossed :)

Okay you bunch of nit-picky dipshits--LISTEN UP! This is a work of F-I-C-T-I-O-N. That means that DQS made it up. It happens in a little corner of his twisted mind in which embryos CAN be frozen and used later. Where guns and bullets CAN be interchangeable. Okay, maybe he should've consulted one of you self-proclaimed experts on that one, but WTF? Really? You say that the bullet caliber issue is a MAJOR plot hole. Most of you bone-heads couldn't write anything anywhere CLOSE to this good, so you snipe at the minuscule BS from your safe little spot on the end of your floral patterned couch, from under your cozy little afghan, while eating bon-bons! Peg Bundy would be proud of you. Until you have the brass balls to try and write something, and put it out here for all the other dipshit Anon's to plunder, just shut up! If you think you have a valid literary comment, present it in a constructive fashion. That doesn't mean that since you didn't like the ending, that it was a bad story. I personally wouldn't have ended it that way, but it was a nice twist and the "He's Lost." comment from Sugar, should tell you all you need to know.

Excellent story...well constructed...great 'quirky' characters...I wish I could give it a 10. Keep on writing, DQ!

WTF The shit gets bigger as it rolls down hill.

But who gives a shit about a couple of adulterers? I certainly don't.

1st - your writing, and parts of your story, were excellent. There were times I thought I was immersed in the middle of an action novel, very good. The insistence though at the end for him to return to the tramp ruins the story for me. She literally sluts, manipulates, and cheats her way through life - and he's supposed to live happily ever after with that? She admitted right at the end that he wasn't who she was in love with - how would his absence convincingly change that? Even more so, how would an absence of 10 years change that ?!?! Honestly, if she's to be believed she didn't really want to, but she was prepared to see him go to jail on bogus charges to satisfy her lover - a guy she knew was morally bankrupt from the beginning. What is there for him in all of that? At best he gets to cohabit with a sicko. No thanks. At the end of the story, I pretty much actively hate her, and care less and less for him.

You have a great gift. Excellent story. I am a slow reader so I have to make an effort to read long stories, but yours are always worth the effort. I have read Separate Vacations four times, and probably will again, because I love the way it unfolds. Your character development is excellent, their intentions and behaviors make sense, and your prose moves efficiently and with fluidity. I am envious. As a scientist, I never learned to write like this. I look forward to your next story. Thank you.

After wading thru 'When we were married' I shied away from your site. Wading thru that tome was quite an investment. Though is was well done and I scored it high.

This was much more redable and enjoyable. First I knew some of the characters and was glad to see them again (Maitland, Pbrien). Second the investment of less read time was more to my liking.

You have a penchant for fleshing out relatable characters. If not relatable, then at least understandable. I had difficulty relating to the characters in Ch. 3; even Michael. The man he'd become seemed more cartoonish, a cross between Indiana Jones and Sgt. John Stryker. And the only plot advance was Diedre's letter, presumably about the son.

Well my predictions from Ch. 01 proved to be totally askew. Good for you - and me.

On to another work.