The Divorce Attorney

My eyes continued to journey down her body taking in every curve as I inched down her. Suddenly my eyes stopped at her arm as she raised it to remove her towel from her head. The scar on her inner arm started close to her wrist and finished just short of her elbow.

"Can I ask how you came by that?"

She paused just long enough to realize what I was looking at and smiled, her cheeks now ever so slightly red.

"We took the snow board into the house when I was nine so my brother and I could see how fast we could go down the stairs. I went first and things went really well until it came to stopping before I went through the glass door at the bottom of the stairs."

I winced inwardly, thinking, "Ouch!".

She noticed and nodded her head. "Yes, indeed. I learned two things that day. Rolling off the board could actually save a lot of pain, not to mention the thirty plus stitches it took to close the wound, and never use your arms to stop yourself hitting a glass panel in a door."

MJ shrugged her shoulders so matter of factly. She even ran one of her fingers along the scar before saying, "Hey, what can I say? Back then I was young and stupid. Now I'm a lot older but just as stupid."

Even as I watched her it was plain to see she wanted to add to that comment. She never did, at least while she was standing, choosing instead to climb back into bed and hug me. It was both our stomachs reminding us that we needed to eat that not only tore us from our hug but the comfort of her bed as well. I would be a fool to deny that that evening and even the morning after was a turning point in our relationship, and yes, we did have a relationship. I cared for Mandy Johnston a great deal, but I couldn't ignore the elephant that MJ had in the room.

Something about us just didn't sit right and she had already told me it had nothing to do with her being my ex-wife's lawyer. I desperately wanted to find out what so it could be fixed before I reached that point of no return and told her I loved her. I had been so close on a couple of occasions now.

*******

It was Mandy who decided the time and place; we had dinner at her place for a change and then she placed a drink in my hand. It was only then that I knew I was going to be introduced to the elephant at last

I sat and watched her pace for a moment.

"So how do you want this, me answering your questions or a short speech that covers everything?"

"Go with the short speech, MJ, but I reserve the right to ask questions later if that's okay."

She paused mid-stride, looked down at me and smiled, then came over, straddled my legs and sat on them, placed her arms around my neck and kissed me. As she stood again, she looked just a little flustered.

"Yes, that's fine, and thank you for taking my feelings into consideration."

Once again, she paused; her eyes took on a far away look for just a moment, perhaps trying hard to figure out where to start, before she said.

"I left for college with one boyfriend under my belt. I gave him my virginity the night of the senior prom; he gave me an STD and a told our friends that I was the one that gave him the STD: so much for unrequited love. The reputation has taken a heck of a lot longer to get rid of than the STD, I can tell you that."

She took another sip of her drink and paced the room some more.

"The sex was a huge disappointment, but my body had now switched itself on and wanted more. My roommate at college was Josie, almost the first thing she did when we first met was sit me down and tell me she was gay and did I have a problem with that? Like I said, my body was now switched on, so between us, we cut a deal that worked for the both of us all through college. We became exclusive, Mac; other than prom night you are the only man I have been with."

I knew she wanted me to say something, so I was truthful with her.

"We all come to a relationship with baggage, MJ. Hell, you were a lawyer to part of mine. It's how we deal with it that has to count."

"Then if I was going to hold you to that statement, my next question would have to be how are you going to deal with it, Mac? Josie is and always will be a part of our lives. I don't mean in a sexual way, but we both still go to her restaurant and she is good friends with both of us."

I shrugged my shoulders, not really finding a clear-cut answer to her question. She sipped her drink again and then placed it on the table. She came and sat next to me, our eyes met for a second and I could see she was trying to work out how to say what she so desperately wanted to say.

"Mac, our agreement was that we were exclusive all through college and both of us kept to that agreement. Once we both graduated, then sexually, we went our separate ways, Josie has her own partner now and it's starting to look like I have you. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I can be a selfish bitch where relationships are concerned."

We hugged for a major part of the evening, what came next, from the deepest recesses of my thoughts wasn't exactly a light bulb moment, but perhaps the easiest way to put our pasts to rest between us and simply find, US.

"Can you get some time off, a week maybe?"

MJ's questioning look took on a flood of emotions. Her eyes challenged me for a moment and it was then I had enough.

"Look, we need to get away, a long weekend if you wish, but a week away would be better. At the moment, no matter how we try, we are going around in circles. We eat at the same places, go to the same places and know the same people, all of which is fine. But I need to see only you; we have to talk to each other without life getting in the way,"

I paused over what to say that would nail this statement, and then it struck me. "Or even one of my past partners, hurling abuse at us through the restaurant window."

The indecision was still there, she seemed to be trying to understand me and hide it at the same time and that angered me a little. I didn't want secrets from this woman.

"Dammit, MJ, we need to be alone so we can find each other. I don't want to date you forever to find out who you are. Give me a week and let's find out who we are together."

The smile got there first; the understanding followed along with a nod of her head. She reached into her bag and pulled out her diary. For the next ten minutes we talked times dates and locations. It still took us until the end of the day to get everything organized, but watching her write it in her diary seemed like a finalization to me.

*******

At first MJ told me that she was fine with me making the arrangements; that slippery slope wasn't going to happen. This was going to be a joint venture, so we talked about where, and we would finalize the dates over the next week. I actually found myself looking forward to the time off together. A week with Mandy, just thinking it brought a smile to my lips.

It was Josie that came up with the solution when she reminded us that the whole point of the week away was a get-to-know-you break.

Why spend a fortune and time traveling to whatever destination we found when it would be easier to find a place more local? It also seemed Josie's family owned a lake house; they loaned it out on occasions and a twenty-minute phone call got us the week we wanted. A detailed map and directions from the owner of the grocery store that we stopped at for fresh vegetables and bread meant we didn't get lost once.

The place was just over an hour from MJ's apartment and other than bringing our own groceries and a donation towards the upkeep of the place, it was ours for the week we wanted it.

We both thought it would be a great idea, a place away from it all and no distractions. Well, no distraction if you didn't count the view of the lake from the back porch: it was stunning and held us there for an age.

"Seems Josie's folks have owned this place longer than I've been around; they've had offers but never wanted to sell it and, looking at that view, I can see why."

My arm wrapped itself around her waist and with my chin on her shoulder we spent a moment just soaking up the view. If nature ever had a picture of pure beauty in mind, she built it there on that lakeside. The peace and the call of nature's wildlife could be felt through every pore, just standing there and looking out afforded me and MJ a tranquility of true rural life. A sigh escaped her lips causing her to also snuggle closer as we tried so hard to watch everything.

I strongly suspected that MJ was a country girl at heart. There seemed to be a gentle sway of her body as both of us stared at the view.

"We need to get inside before I root myself to the spot."

It was with the greatest of reluctance that we both pulled ourselves away from the scenery in front of us. We did spend the rest of the day with the door and the windows wide open as a compromise. I was even handed a 'to do' list, a first for me, I will admit. A smile and a kiss on the cheek were, seemingly, the down payment.

The slap of my ass came when I looked at her and said, "What, no tongue?"

That set the tone over the next few days; the banter between us seemed to keep us less than a few feet away from each other at any time. MJ set the radio to some station that played soft music and every once in awhile one or the other of us would reach across and softly shuffle 'I don't dance' to the music. It was then I found something else out about Mandy Johnston: when the music took her, it really took her.

A song came on the radio that Mandy must have liked: at first she hummed along and eventually started to sing alongside the singer on the radio, and that made me stop shuffling and look at her in genuine surprise.

MJ, for her part, blushed like crazy and, for the rest of the afternoon, refused to sing again. I'm sure she expected me to drop some smart-ass comment into the conversation until I pointed out to her that this was why we were here in the first place.

"Dammit girl, don't you ever hide that voice from me again."

This time she went crimson and buried her head into my chest as we continued to shuffle around the day room. It felt like a lifetime before she raised her head again so that she could rest it on my shoulder.

"I'm not sure I should be comfortable with this."

When I looked at her it was with some confusion.

"Other than in the shower, I haven't sung for so many years. Mom took me to music classes that were run by a witch of a woman whose real aim in life was to belittle anyone that had even the tiniest amount of talent. When it was my turn I ran from the class and refused to go back."

*******

That comment alone broke some invisible wall between us and, over the course of the evening and the following day, we shared parts of our lives as well as life's expectations. MJ knew of my divorce, of course. Cindy was my high school sweetheart, who I later found out—after being married to her for five years—looked on me as her ticket to never having to do anything but sit on her ass and bitch about how late I was getting home from work.

Mandy Johnston's life story was far more structured; from birth and up until college her family had already mapped out her life. The only part that threatened to cause a rift was her friendship with Josie. That event was also the making of her; her folk's efforts to bring her back to heel meant she grew more resistant to the point that she herself threatened to cut all ties with her family if they continued to interfere in her life.

They still couldn't resist, of course, but who doesn't have parents that simply can't resist sticking their nose in? By the end of her first year at college, MJ allowed them back into her life and established barriers on topics that were not negotiable and Josie was always going to be one of them. She truly did love her folks, but the time they pulled away from her to teach her a lesson actually taught her the wrong lesson for them.

She smelled freedom and clung to it like a drowning woman to a life preserver. By the time the 'teach you a lesson' cycle was over it was actually her parents themselves who had a fight to get back into her life, and standing right next to her throughout was Josie, holding her up and providing both emotional and physical support. I learned firsthand the new mindset she had carried with her since law school.

I thought I had hired a damned good lawyer when we went to court to fight over the ashes of my marriage, and then my wife walked in with her lawyer and the fight started. Yes, I had seen the 'take no prisoners' look that day from Mandy Johnston, just as I had now seen her inner child she still kept well out of the way of everyone. If that steel within her couldn't find a way to your heart, then that voice as she sang around the cabin sure could. When one or both failed, it might be best to see if you even had a working pulse.

*******

As the sun started to go down over the lake, MJ wanted to sit and watch it. We held hands and I watched her, her mouth open in wonder, and every now and then her head would tilt slightly and she would squeeze my hand, reminding me to stop watching her and watch what was unfolding in front of us.

As the early evening mist started to gather along the far shore of the lake and creep towards the cabin, we relented and knew that our day watching this thing of beauty had sadly come to an end, for then at least. Finally, MJ let go of my hand and fished around for her discarded t-shirt, I thanked the sun that day. The sun's warmth had given me an MJ walking around the cabin for a couple of hours in a bikini top and shorts.

Nature had managed to divide my attention that day, for sure.

"Come on inside the cabin; we need to talk and I'm not catching a cold while we do."

By the time I had placed the covers over the chairs and gone inside MJ had poured us both a drink and had placed them on the table near the fire. She pointed to mine.

"I would prefer it if you sit down, I know I'm going to end up pacing so it's a waste of time me sitting next to you until all this is done. So, make yourself comfortable."

The look in her eyes and her hand on my arm, with her fingers digging deep into me only emphasized her next comment.

"I don't share, Mac, never have and never will. I've stuck with girls because, I had my own hate-men moment; by the time I had figured out I hated one in particular I was in a relationship with Josie. However, despite what you may think, I am actually heterosexual, not bi-sexual. I like cock, but up until now, I have never found anything attached to one that actually had a personality. That first night at Josie's restaurant you made me feel special even though you had more than enough reason not to."

Again, she started to pace the room and I couldn't help but smile as she did; this woman was just so full of energy. Combine that with the fact that she was desperately trying to be as honest with me as she could and hoping like crazy that, in doing so, I wouldn't be frightened away.

Feeling I had to ask the obvious, I breathed in and said, "This is important to you isn't it?"

MJ was nodding her head even before she looked up at me.

"Damn straight it is. I'm a divorce lawyer, Mac; I've seen folks walk into my office who genuinely need to get the heck out of their marriage... just as I've seen folks who want their heads banged together and to be told that what they have is precious and don't throw it away."

By now, I had had enough. I pulled myself from my seat. MJ watched me move the coffee table out of the way and hold her. Her body automatically molded itself to me. Mandy was still so deep in her own thoughts that she joined in the gentle sway as the music played its gentle background calm. Finally pulling away from her, I looked into her eyes, she was afraid and yet still unsure what to say or do.

Mandy was still so preoccupied and working on how to express herself that I figured, perhaps it was time for me to join in now.

"You need to listen to me, MJ; I'm not going anywhere, okay? What we have is ours and ours alone. The 'I don't share' is fine by me. I may not have known Josie as long as you have, but I've known about her sexuality almost as long as I've known her. So what? You two have history but it's not her I'm looking to share my life with. You naked sure covers that concept just fine for me."

It seemed I just managed to get to the end of my speech before she burst into tears and shoved her head into my shoulder. The relief from her was palpable. It took her another few minutes before she calmed enough to continue. MJ kissed my cheek and pulled herself away from me before going back to pacing the room.

"The part of my life that contained Josie is over, Mac; you have to believe that. The closest we see each other naked now is in bikinis when I've spent the evening at her house and that's fine by us. I said at the beginning I would be honest and I will; my relationship with Josie was fun, but I don't ever plan to re-live it."

MJ walked up to me, straddled my lap, sat down and held my head in her hands; her eyes blazed a passion that I had seen a few times in her. She had something to say and she wanted me to know she was being deadly serious about what she had to say.

"You are my life now, Mac, and more than enough for me."

*******

As for me, that conversation alone laid to rest every question I may have had, Mandy's tick-list of things we needed to talk about cleared all my questions away, as well; our reluctance to leave the cabin also meant we would return as many times as we could. I could proudly say I found Mandy Johnston that week; she was my friend and lover, and once back home and with a ring in my hand, then I would do everything in my power to make her my wife.

We stopped by the restaurant once we got back, both to say hi to Josie and to eat, since neither of us had much in our fridges. Our relationship became more intense as the weeks went on, intermingled with either MJ or I getting loaded down with work, of course. The need for one of us to move in with the other came about because of our own reluctance to be apart. We sat and worked that out, since the lease on her apartment was a six-month revolving one and I owned mine, logic said she would move in with me.

Josie took the day off from the restaurant and helped us. Of course, that day she was totally Josie, and said that the real reason for taking the day off was that she had to see it to believe that the hard ass divorcé and the divorce lawyer would ever actually live together.

With friends like Josie you just had to wonder if either of us had room for enemies.

Speaking of enemies, it seems the rumor mill had been working overtime. My ex phoned my office; when my secretary put through a call from a Mrs. Beckman I didn't make the connection; I did when the bitch started talking, though. She was so smug about it as well, even suggesting an invitation to the wedding since she introduced Mandy Johnston to me in the first place. Since nothing coming out of her mouth was worth listening to I put the phone down on her.

I even told my secretary not to forward anymore of her calls into my office ever again, and that she had my blessing just to put the phone down on her if the bitch had the balls to phone back. By the time I left the office and got home my mood had lightened to such an extent that I thought it an amusing anecdote when talking to MJ that evening. Her face remained impassive throughout my telling her, when I was done she stood up, grabbed her coat and left the apartment.

Watching her leave was interesting, she was really pissed when she yanked her coat from the rack. My ex made it clear she wanted the divorce, I gave it to her and now she just couldn't seem to help herself by muddying the water. She made my life a walking misery the last year of our marriage and I have yet to figure out why she still seemed to think she had a vote in my relationship with Mandy.