All Comments on 'The Extended Family Ch. 11'

This series has become a repetitive and non erotic,the warning lights were on in ch 7,several like this series,in my opinion,[and it is only mine]this has gone exactly the same way as other similar series.I gave you a hint Ch 9.Still thanks for the read I will call it a day now.

Not a bad series but methinks you are hurrying things a bit.

While I found a few inocrrect words slightly annoying... the really bad thing was a change in tense that even happened in a single sentence. Switching from third person to first person in a story is not good... but doing so in a single sentence is really a detraction.

In spite of a minimal number of editorial difficulties, your story is a great read and I will be recommending it to friends. You took this story where I felt it should go without me making a recommendation... thanks. Please continue.

DO SOME PROOFREADING!!! Five women provide 5 pair of breasts, not eight (the number of people in the group). When you start getting nothing but adverse criticisms in response to a chapter, as is the case here, if you have any respect for what you are spending your time and our time on in this series, you should get an editor or take the time to proof your work! If you did that, it might take care of the criticism in one of the other messages about the deterioration of the erotic content.

I'm very much enjoying the exposition of the philosophy shared by those in the group. Yes, they get and give hot sex but there is a love and appreciation of each other which makes the sex a much more meaningful event. Thanks for sharing all of this with us.

I was lost in this chapter and Chapter 10. When you indiscriminately write in the first and the third person, and present and past tense, what could be a very enjoyable experience becomes more like hard work. Please obtain an editor. If you already have one, your editor has not done his or her job. Every author, amateur or professional, requires editing to truly turn a story into a finished product.

I may be having some difficulty accepting your philosophy, but I still believe you are writing a good story, and it is worth the effort.

So fucking sucking decadent and depraved, all participants

totally fucked up and in love with cunt, cock and cum. Just need to let my three

Milfs and girlfriend take me to sex heaven. Cunt lapping sex maniac Lanc's uk

i really enjoy all your stories. very sexy!!

As the first married couple to be involved, neither Rachel nor Carl experienced any form of angst or jealousy. Carl especially seemed completely OK with his wife having sex with effectively two complete strangers. Any husband would have certain misgivings, would she be comparing her new sex partners to himself? The male ego is a fragile thing and it would be natural for some form of uncertainty to be involved.

It would also introduce some drama to what is becoming a rather repetitive story.