All Comments on 'The Fall and Rise of David Beckman Ch. 04'

One of your better stories. It shows how importance open communication and trust are to a marriage.

Boyd

KK,

You got me. This story starts one way and shifts direction again and again, sideways with a couple of backflips, it kept me guessing, mostly wrong. After chapter 3 I thought we were headed for a hardcore revenge ending, like Wendy. The way you wrote chapter 4 is believeable and I buy it. The part where Bill comes to the house shows that nothing happened in LA and should shut up those that will scream "wimp" (there will be a few). It works and is close to the best one you have written yet. Thanks for a good read. Can't wait for the next one!

A terrific read. Thanks.

Phil

great story but the wife is vile nasty no good lying whore...

does anyone really believe she didnt have sex with bill neslon? I hope not. All she did was sabtoage her own husband and DATES or a drink with Bill to dicuss HIM...

Then blames the hubby for his erratic behavior when it was her actions with Bill that took the heart out from the hubby...

it's incredible that a reasonable husband would believe her sad story about not knowing, (1), Billy Bob was going to be at her LA "traning" seminar and, (2), even though Billy Bob was in HER ROOM when the hubby called, that she had NO INTENTION of fucking him. "I wouldn't have done that to you, honey."

and this was a woman KK, the author, told us had spewed "You fuckin' loser" when she left, right? LOL

"honey bear, I was just pissed at you when I left, okay? YOU KNOW I had no intention of cheating on you. Why would I do that with Billy Bob, when I never liked him the few times you and I met with him and his wife????"

Errr, didn't you two date and fuck for some years in college, the highly logical and intelligent scratched his head, saying,,,,,,,,,

"Oh, honey, I didn't want to tell you all that, that history, because it's just history, okay? I never liked him. You are the only one I loved, okay? I HAD NO INTENTION of cheating on you; he forced his way into my room when I was in the showers and came to ansewr the door in my towl! I swear!

"Even before you called, I was TELLING HIM, "I'm not having sex with you, Billy Bob. I loved my husband too much, even though he's a loser who didn't do as YOU said, 'tis why he lost his job...".... He said he's just going to give me rub on my back,,,, I said, Okay, but that's all! We are history, okay? It's now just me and my husband, you understand? No sex,,, jsut rubbing some oil onto my aching shoulders, okay?

"And he said, "Yes, that's all I will do",, and I believed him; that's all he was going to do; that's all I was going to allow him to do,,, and whether you called or not, I would have physically pushed him out of my hotel room,,, honey, you have to believe me!!"

LOL,,, a bit exaggerated, of course; but essentially that's what it amounted to,,,,,

[[[[[This dialogue, remember, dear gentle readers, came more or less AFTER hubby had already told her he's RE-ESTABLISHED himself and is now on to a venture with some other former colleagues and that HE WAS GOING TO BE OKAY, indeed, he was likely to cut down his former company by quickly take customers away from them,,,]]]]]]

As usual, Harry and the other trolls are so full of shit, it's coming out of every pore.

OK, here we have a wife who made a couple of bad errors in judgment. No doubt about that, and they almost cost her a good marriage. She should have told David about her prior relationship with Bill and she should have given her husband's concerns more validity.

But we also have a smooth operator who is manipulating events, trying his damndest to get into the wife's pants. He's using some awfully dirty tricks to make it appear that David is losing it, and he's acting the concerned friend while sabotaging his career. It's easier to do than you think.

And David played right into his hands by drinking a lot more than normal and acting more erratic than before. Once the manipulator has planted the seeds of unease in the wife about her husband's mental capacity, it starts to feed on itself.

Now, I think if Erica had not come home when she did, then, yes, I think Bill would have found a way to seduce her, then David would have been justified in going for the divorce.

But she cut her trip off, immediately, and went home to tend to her gravely wounded marriage. And even then, David didn't just buy her story. He had to look into his heart and into hers to decide if what she was telling him was the truth, and the key was her immediately coming home. If she'd been bopping Bill, or if she'd wanted to at all, she'd have stayed in LA.

Sure, she had a lot to atone for, but having an affair wasn't what she had to atone for. It was not trusting her husband and lying to him. And it took some doing before he was able to forgive her and see things from her perspective. As she said, she did the wrong things for the right reasons, and in that she was led by a skilled manipulator.

That's what happens when you've been married awhile and communication breaks down. That's really what happened here. They lost touch with each other, and it wasn't until David started taking control of his life, once he figured out what was really happening, that they started to get it back.

It's called married give and take, but obviously that's a concept that's beyond the feeble minds of Harry and his ilk.

What dates are you talking about. The drinks Bill kept asking her to meet him for and she kept refusing?

You guys are so wraped up in your veiw point you try to twist the story to it when the author clearly said that the opposite happened.

I have no use for cheating but you guys want to kill a marrage when there wasn't any cheating. Yes there was bad judgment on the wifes part that she saw in the end and was sorry for.

The author was pretty clear that the wife thought she was tring to help her husband. Trying to say she was out to hurt him just makes you look foolish.

I just don't understand how anyone can read the story and then post here that the wife was cheating when Bill even said to Erica when he didn't know David was behind him that there was no affair.

The whole business thing was well set up and nicely intertwined with his personal life.

The story was always intriguing - and continually challenged the assumptions I kept trying to make.

Yeah, his wife should have had more faith in him. Did she understand that? Yeah she did:

"Now I just feel like a complete fool. I am sorry for the pain I caused you but I need to know that you still love me."

At some point you have to make a choice: make it work or cut and run. Sometimes neither seems like a good choice.

Did she sleep with Bill? Well hell, the author said she didn't! If you don't go along with that then you're writing your own story. I look forward to reading it!

Nice job - one of your better stories. I look forward to more from you.

Regards, DJ

The same old story, very little new, if anything. God, I’m getting so tired of the old boyfriend from school stories.

Story still portrays the semi brain-dead wife who shows little love apart from giving her body to her husband. There should be few amongst us who believe that sex is ALL that is required to make a good marriage. Understanding, affection, trustworthiness, companionship, and being supportive are elements just as important.

As usual, I like the writing, but the story line left me cold.

First time I broke down and commented on one of these, but I must say this is probably one of thebest stories I've read online ever. Had to keep checking every night for the next part. Don't pay any attention to the nay sayers for this was a well written and very original story line.

Love the interplay between thehusband and wife. Thanks for a great read.

If I try to project this story into my own life I can't imagine recovering any good feelings about my wife after such behavior. I’d rather live alone than with someone I had discovered to be emotionally and mentally half dead.

Very well structured plot. Nice characterization of certain business personalities in Mike and Bill and Jeff. Very believeable lack of communication between wife and husband. You provided confirmation that there had been no affair, after building us up in the initial chapters.

Had me anicipating each day's submission like many other readers. You certainly left us wanting another story from you.

I REALLY ENJOYED THIS STORY, YOU GOT IT JUST RIGHT.

Half way through Erica explanation, I found myself easily distracted. You put TOO much dialogue on her explaining the situation. She was talking too much. This story left me cold also. The husband was too forgiving of the wife's betrayal. Why did she trust Bill so much? more than her husband!

The REAL fundamental question, pertaining to the relationship of the marriage is

Whether or not she WOULD sleep with Bill, if the husband hadn't made the discovery he did and called her at her hotel,,,,,,,,

It is NOT whether she had already done it (she did and it "didn't count", because back then Bill and she were dating; but that little information was not mad privy to her husband; she even LIED about ever knowing Bill when, one time, she and her husband and Bill and his wife met at some mall!)

The AUTHOR had the husband run around, looking for information rather frantically, and, finally had him call the wife's HOTEL ROOM, with the KNOWLEDGE that both the wife and Bill, her old lover, were THERE at the same hotel.

Who really cares HOW Bill had himself insinuated into the wife's every move/travel...

FACT IS THIS: She's been, lately, siding WITH Bill, AGAINST her own husband; even went so far as to call him a "loser." In a moment of frustration and anger, the EVENTUAL explanation from HER came to be!

Well, that's a lot of comfort to SOME PEOPLE; but if I had to dig up information about my wife and her former lover, whom she NEVER ELECT to tell me, even when she's been talking to him about MY SUPPOSED SCREW UP AND FIRING --- on my "behalf," she said!, it's all done on my behalf, even if bad in retrospect, everyone says!!! --- and put two and two together and called her HOTEL ROOM and, surely enough, HE was there with her,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Of course, the stupid wife had to come back home immediately; she's SUPPOSED to love her husband, remember? Could she have really stay there a few more days and return home and say,

"You're just over-reacting,,,, Nothing happened, okay? Right after you called and said you're coming up --- I sent Bill out the door --- and I waited and waited and you didn't show,,, so I thought, Oh, well, I'll see him in a few days,,,,,,,"

Can ANY RATIONAL person think that's still bordering being okay? No!

Nor is NOT telling the husband that she and Bill had dated some years ago and that Bill's been calling and talking to her and that she's been confiding in Bill about the hubby's problems at work, where Bill happens to be THE BOSS!

If I had to call my wife's hotel room, DISRUPTING a "social call" between her and her former boyfriend (whom, remember, she NOT only never told me about but also PRETEND not to ever even knew), and NEVER KNOWING if I hadn't done it, whether she would have had sex with him,,, If that's the trust, love, and understanding I and my wife had ,,,,,,, there's no true marriage.

This wife, remember, was the one who went to her eductional seminars telling me I was a loser. Remember, folks, it is only during UNGUARDED moments of our lives that we TRULY say things deep in our hearts! When we have time to think carefully, we CAN and DO fool a lot people, even those closest to us! (Whether or not we "meant to say them," as MEL GIBSON is now begging for understanding, is AN AFTER THE FACT thing!)

She would NOT have told me WHETHER OR NOT SHE MET BILL there at her training, IF I hadn't found out any thing about them, didn't make the call, didn't disrupt them --- especially if she came home and I had not straightened out things for myself, however faultless I really was over my firing, and however calculating Bill was!

Point is, Erica, my wife, would NOT have told me any thing about the HOTEL meeting, as she never told me any thing about her years of dating Bill, as she never told me about her talking to Bill, crying on his shoulders, seeking his "advice".

But, yes, she did suggest that perhaps I needed a psychiatrist to help me with my paranoia and depression! With such a loving wife, you don't need any enemies like Bill, do you?

Erica is a very lucky lady.

1. She is lucky she had the change-of-heart/revelation on Sunday night when she was in the tub, and then apologized to David for calling him a loser. This helped him believe her later in the story.

2. She is very lucky she came home on the red-eye flight the night David called her, otherwise her marriage was over. If she had stayed for even a couple of days and even if during that time she told Bill to “Go to Hell” and that she was a faithful wife; David would never have believed her when she returned home.

3. Believe it or not she is lucky that David found out that Bill was in L.A. when he did. If David had found this out afterward, again even if Erica remained faithful; David would never have believed her.

4. She is very, very lucky that David was able to work through her brain-dead lack of trust in him, lying to him (mostly by omission), and her giving Bill the inside information that got David fired from his job. She is very lucky to have such an understanding and forgiving husband. Though it did take David awhile to deal with it. Erica hurt David deeply.

Good story author.

As I said elsewhere, there was a lot of doubt, in my mind at least, about the wife's actions. I'm glad they were resolved in such a happy manner.

The authour did a good job of showing how skewed perceptions can be, the dangers of drawing too firm a conclusion from too little data.

I quite liked this story. I especially liked how the conflicts of the marriage and the business reflected one another. And how it turned out both turned on a single focal point.

Nice work. Well done.

Story fairly intense and keeps the reader's interest. But if I were David and was about to divorce my wife because of the events preceding her appearance on the sofa unexpectedly, I would not have told her about the new partnership deal or business contract just yet, especially not after being fired from my job and finding out that indeed, there had been a conspiracy against me. I would have possibly listened to her story, but as David suggests, wanting to believe her but still needing time to restore trust, I would not have spilled the beans just yet . . . if there was even the smallest chance she was lying, she could still tell Bill and the whole deal might fall through for David before his new partnership and prime contract get off the ground. I also agree with the other individuals who have commented that Erica's multiple clandestine conversations with Bill behind her husband's back leave a bad taste no matter what she said she thought she was doing . . . again, the reconciliation went a little too fast . . . but overall, not a bad story.

the series was good. it was nicely written w/ a plausible story. it may not be overly dramatic as other LW stories but its still good. the 2nd and 3rd part, i think, is where the readers really gets hooked. yes, its a little cliched, but it was still really good.

As I said below, Erica is a lucky lady to have David; if she had been my wife I do not think she would have been so lucky. The marriage most likely would not have survived her actions, regardless of her good intentions.

Good story, I enjoyed reading it.

...and I put a lot of time into reading it. I found it disappointing each day that it had to end. However, the final chapter left me feeling very empty.

The wife's confession revealed so much betrayal on her part that there would be no way I would trust her again. She was, to say the least, guilty of "cheating" on David by forming an alliance with Bill. It also showed that she didn't know David very well after all those years of marriage to suddenly think he had become incompetent at his vocation. Only an emotionally imbalanced person would come to such a conclusion in such a short period of time, but of course she had help, didn't she! And that "helper" was waiting for her at the hotel ... and you're expecting us to believe that after Bill talked her into taking the trip (when David begged her to not take the trip - a major betrayal of his loyalty to her) that she would be so hostile to Bill? It's doubtful. After all, they were conversing on a daily basis and she was even giving David's secrets to Bill. There is so much more that I could say but I'm not gonig to waste anymore of your time. I'll end by saying that I was pretty damned disappointed that you bent so many rules of logic to end the story the way you did, K.K. You had me all warmed up and excited about it and then you left me cold. However, I will admit, endings are easier to live than they are to create in story form.

is THANKS K.K.!!! As always another very well written story. Looking forward to your next one.

...particularly the second and third part. And this fourth part was very promising as well, for about the first two pages.

And then, all believability went out the window. She is convinced that he is mentally ill (paranoid) and incompetent - a "fucking loser". David has seen her take Bill's side for months, and now knows that she had been undermining him and giving Bill ammunition to use against him.

If she has half a brain in her head, then her protestations of innocence were at best lame and at worst an outright lie. And after all that, with Erica still thinking he's crazy, he drops a couple of bombshells - the copy of the memo from the mail room and telling her about the phone call to Clinton, finding that the article was three years old. It is only when she gets irrefutable proof that David has been telling the truth that she finally believes him - when the default position should be that she believes him. When she was siding with Bill, she was basically callind David a liar, and only believed David when the proof became too much to ignore.

And then, David thinks about their conversation for a little while and decides she's telling the truth. Why? She no longer trusts his word unless she is presented irrefutable evidence. He had arrived home expecting to divorce and sell his house. The trust in this relationship is completely gone. Why on earth should he believe that she is telling the truth to him now? For several months she has put her "friendship" with Bill ahead of her marriage with David, finally telling him what she really thinks of him on Sunday night. And then a ten minute coversation later and all of a sudden he trusts her completely again?

If he believes her just like that, he must be nine degrees of stupid. If she is in fact telling the truth, then yeah she might realize that she's been an idiot. He however has totally lost trust in her, and with good reason - she has been stabbing him in the back and going off to LA to meet her old boyfriend.

Show of hands, anyone who believes that if David hadn't have called on Monday, that she would have returned on Friday as a faithful wife? Note that she did in fact spend the Monday night in LA (check the timing on the phone calls - remember, right up to 3am Pacific time? She was there in LA for a minimum of 12 hours. The flight was on Tuesday, and David came home and found her there on Tuesday night).

I'm sorry, but his acceptance and belief of her explanations only make sense if he's an idiot - completely contrary to everything we know about David. It was right about the middle of page two, when you had him just sitting and thinking for a few minutes, and then all of a sudden having him magically trusting her again, that left me feeling cold.

If you had just fleshed that out more... geez, even given some proof that he could trust her, ANYTHING ... then I would have been very happy with the story. You're actually getting a lower rating for this than I would normally give it because chapter 3 was so good and you let us down in the finale.

Very good story. Liked the ending.

I particularly liked this part (4). Its no secret that I like happy endings and for the good guy to win and that was pulled off perfectly in this story imo.

The tension and buildup in the first 3 parts was good as well. I also liked the wife and was glad they were together and seemingly so happy at the end. Yes, she made a mistake in taking Bill's lies at face value and believing her husband was losing it, but it was just a mistake, not a betrayal. She was too trusting and she apologized for getting led astray and for doing things that helped Bill screw him over at work. She didnt do it out of sense of malace though and I think that makes all the difference. She thought she was doing the right thing and helping her husband. When she found out she was duped, she apologized and was sincerely sorry for hurting him. Cant ask for more than that imo.

The buildup, obstacles and conclusion for this story were all very good imo. Some parts did drag a bit and there was some padding that didnt really move the plot along but overall it was very good imo.

Thanks very much for writing.

For another great story my friend. Very well thought out. This is a little far fetched but it reminds me of an incident that happened when I was still working. My foreman came around and asked me to sign a loyalty statement where if I was terminated that I would not divulge any process I had observed, any that I had developed or steal any customers of the company for 5 years after I had been terminated or had chosen to leave their employ of my own volition.

I told him I would sign it but only under threat of being terminated. Six months later after a federal judge ruled what they had done, illegal, I tore up the piece of paper and received a letter of apology from the CEO of the company.

This lady in this story with the help of your total commitment to a well laid out plot, remained true to her husband after the ordeal. She was loyal after a fashion but almost lost it. Who knows what made her loyalty come to light? Only you. Maybe it was the creampie eating that her husband had become before the trip. lol

Great story buddy.

The problem is that marriage is based on trust, so how could this marriage survive when both partners failed on this. She didn't trust him--an ex-boyfriend had more credibility than her own husband...so how could he ever learn to trust her again when she had been so easily swayed by Bill's manipulations?

I like a happy ending like the next guy, but this story is NOT believable.

A well written story but I am unsure of how I feel about it. Emotionally Erica cheated on David by lack of support and keeping her interactions with Bill from David. I would think the "loser" statement and LA would end the marriage, because even though there is no sex the marriage is damaged and I doubt there is a fix. He sees no support from her and has no trust in her. That is my view but I could still see your view. I still rated the story high due to the writting. I do like your writting and please keep them coming. Thanks.

From the comments on the first part, those readers had no idea how this would turn out. Excellent reading really enjoyed. Thanks for writing.

I'm not sure I would call it forced reconcilation for me. When I usually think of forced, it usually means that the wife (or husband) has actually had sex or performed a sex act on someone else and the husband totally forgives and forgets because he is so desperate to stay married to the wife. I thought that KK showed some good reasoning as to why the husband should consider it.

Another reason that I liked the story was when the husband thought his wife was cheating with Bill he basicly said "Screw it, I don't care why they are getting together, I'm getting divorced. But first let me have a little fun at their expense before I do it." And that's what he did. He didn't put together what Bill was doing to him till he got fired. But he started doing everything in his power to divorce the wife. She changed it by making him believe that she wasn't cheating. Stupid maybe. Lacking trust, definitly. But cheating nope.

Not to mention that even though while his wife wasn't beliving in him, she wouldn't ever take physical comfort in Bill, no matter how hard he tried. She wouldn't meet him anywhere and refused to even entertain the though of cheating on her husband. That for me was a "HUGE" saving grace.

All of that I liked.

But as Harry and various other said, I wasn't too much the fan of the wife totally believing first in her ex-boy friend over her husband who she said she loved more than anyone else on the earth. If that was the case why was she so willing to not ask his side of the problem and believe the husband was going crazy.

I can't say I was a fan of the secrets she kept either. Secrets like those don't magicly go away because we want them to. Usually when you think like that they blow up in your face. But I guess that is what happened to her too, when the husband put it all together.

The other saving grace for me in the story was I'm pretty sure I know what the author was going for. He was going for someone like Bill who throughly convinced everyone, including the main characters wife, that the main character was going crazy and that they all needed to watch him. He did all of this just to sleep with David's wife. No other reason. If hadn't got this feeling I would have scored lower, but thats the feeling I got, that Bill worked everyone over pretty good to bring them to this point.

In the end, David got Bill fired and divorced, took Mike's company, and had his wife doing back flips to stay married to him. In all I say he came out ahead.

-Risq

I must say I would normally condemn the wife severely for her lack of trust with little faith in her husband and so easily swayed by an outside force of a long lost friend. The names I would have extolled on her would have been a rant. There was more faith in he past friend then her husbands straight talk to her.

This is a woman who only gave so much weight to her old lover and also made the conscious decision not to tell her husband of his boss being her other true love she’d experienced in life. This was explained in the story, but was so far from a valid excuse that it made the wife either naive or trying to hide her true feelings as they disturbed her. All of this would have eventually come out some day so it would only be worse as time would intensify the effect of the deceit.

The explanation of her negative reactions to her old lovers overtures was very good in her showing her love of her marriage but again she was to easily swayed by innuendo of an old friend. She must see that only this old lover was able to so easily sway her faith in the man she purports to have never doubted before. Her feeling for and faith in her old lover where stronger in her mind then she has come to grips with. She had feelings she wasn’t facing and probably could have easily gone to infidelity if David had not called the hotel in LA.

The loss of trust and faith she displayed will fade but never be totally forgotten. Erica will have to always show belief in what David say’s because she has set the standard by her own actions of the past.

“I am sorry I didn't believe you from the START and I am sorry that I let you down when you needed me most."

After reading the last chapter again, witch I enjoyed doing, I can say by the great writing of the dialogue, I do feel these two people face nominal damage in there marriage. I see it as a start to more closeness for both of them resulting from this experience in there life together. Again only the wonderful writing lets me accept this marriage as sound and growing even closer by what has transpired.

Well I had this one figured out by chapter 3 but it was so well written I could care less. I’m normally wrong anyway so that added to my enjoyment I guessed right for a change.

Thank you for your hard work and the break up of the story was a delight to look for the next chapter each day.

With great respect from this reader

PT

All in all,, I liked it. On the basic mechanics of story-telling my comments are thus: The writing and turn of phrase were competent, something rarely found. The plotting was wather weak though, in fact Plodding would be more accurate. The first 2 chapters were somewhat difficult to get through because the explainations for peoples thoughts and actions were so tedious. The use of dialoge was good most times but you tend to have people make the same points over and over. The story could have been just as powerful and effective using about 4 less pages. It gets a bit redundant. You should leave out the diatribes (sic). For example, the final confrontation between husband and wife could have been about 3 paragraphs shorter and not lost any impact.

About the story as written: It wasn't a forced reconcilation but it was a contrived one. But we expect this from KK so I have no problem with it. Two points about human behavior: People who don't intend to cheat on some level don't put themselves in positions where that can happen. Were I a theapist for Erica I would point out that is she never intended to cheat physically, why was she so busy at it emotionally? She did commit a kind of psychic adultery. In the old days they called it "allienation of affection". We all know that in real life, David would have to know he couldn't really trust her ever again. As she quilty of betrayal or just making a mistake in judgement? The first time she called Bill was a mistake; everything after that was a betrayal. And I agree with the other who may think that if David hadn't called when he did, she would have been on her back with her legs in the air within the hour. David was a little to forgiving. He madea good point about if the marriage was to work he had to trust her, but that wasn't just his decision to make. He had the lives and futures of his 2 partners to consider as well. He took a HUGE risk there. The second point is I don't know of too many people where the comment about being a loser would be so easily forgotten or forgiven. I reality, we take slights like that and gloss over them but underneath they fester until the slightet thing will bring them to the top. No, sad to say if these people had been real, the final scene would have been David and Erica's divorce, not the building of a happy home. But that is why we call it fiction! :-)

A very good submission however.

Best regards,

C

I'm in agreement with the one who wrote "I both liked it & had problems with it". I've read quite a few of your other stories & it's certainly not your usual forte, I'll admit that the sexless affair angle had me a thrown for a loop.

I think they did the right thing by saving there marriage ,

You need to check your spelling you left alot of your words unchecked.

I looked for your chapters daily and feel this is the best story I have read on Literotica yet. Thanks for your great writings'!

There were a few flaws on the spellcheck thing, but the writing was wonderful. For a while there, I thought you were going to really let us down with how Erica actually turned out, but in the end, the story was completely plausible and ended up just like everyone would want.

Nice piece.

-- KVK

Use at least two bad story spoilers.

1. THE DUMB WIFE spoiler Apparently, in L.W the temptation to DUMB-DOWN the wife proves to be too strong for resisting - even for the best authors. Old habits die hard? Bits me, but this tired plot device is still alive and kicking and able to spoil – at least for me, a good story. The use of the dumb wife routine, in particular by masters like K.K who is among the three best authors in my book- is especially hard to swallow. All the time ex-lover calls her discreetly and tries to meet with her alone and at the same time barrage of bad things are starting to happen to her husband and not even the tiniest suspicion? All the information regarding his work is now starting to go through HER from HIS boss and it all seems appropriate to her? And she takes her ex love mental assessments of her husband on face value? Is the boss now considered as a reliable mental health adviser in her mind? And that is what we are supposed to buy as normal level of mental functioning of an adult female in a story? I don’t buy it.

2. THE <NO CLUE > spoiler. In this story it’s the big elephant in the room AKA : “wife starting to distrust husband for no reason” WHY did wife start to distrust her husband? Don’t bother to ask if you want to keep enjoying the story. The question remains unanswered even as wife herself puts it forward for a minute, just so that both of them could continue to ignore it. She does make a virtual attempt at explaining but in truth it’s a longer version of sayin: I decided not to trust you and to trust Bill But I had good intentions. As if skipping the: ‘Check facts and information with up to this point in your life reliable husband’ is just a technicality.

Chew on that: “Not trusting” for no good reason and “good intentions” DO NOT go together Some thing is missing. Why suddenly her husband’s words lost credibility in her mind to begin with. Author through wife’s character’s seems to sense if not fully recognize, is that why we resort to the <no clue> option? Finally wife admits: "I really can't explain how this happened," which is the ace in the sleeve when something is missing. And the wonderful sex they have makes the betrayel of trust even more inexplicable not less.

I’d like to suggest a different perspective on some of the things that Chagrined mentioned.

Women tend to be innately polite even when they should ream someone a new one. Usually, they do not speak or act in a threatening manner. Men tend to be the reverse and I’m a repeat offender. It’s within the range of average female behavior for Erica not to be more forceful with Bill even though it makes the reader squirm and want her to tell him off.

I’d give Erica a free pass on not seeing through Bill. Obviously, as written, she has no women’s intuition. I had a similar situation in reverse where my wife, who has women’s intuition up the ying-yang, warned me about a man I employed and what he was doing to destroy our business. We almost divorced over my refusal to believe her. In the end, she was proven to be correct and I apologized profusely and have never again doubted her assessment of people. Was Erica brain dead? Naw. Just flawed as I was.

As far as Erica’s “loser” comment, to me, that’s no big deal. In the heat of verbal battle, my wife has called me every name in the book. Later, she always tearfully apologized and we made up by ... well, you know. So did Erica.

K.K. has done a masterful job of creating characters that acted in a lifelike manner as flawed human beings. This story works. Everything in this one fits together and could really happen this way. It's also interesting in that there are several other possible versions. K.K.'s the best.

Phil

I read the tale, found it enjoyable, and was surprised to find one negative comment entirely on spelling.

"I think they did the right thing by saving there <their> marriage,<comma> <Capital "Y"> You need to check your spelling <full stop omitted> <Capital "Y" Needed> you left alot < re-type as "many" or "a lot" <two words>> of your words unchecked."

In other words, Critic, judge not let yourself be judged. and Judged on your mere two lines.

One can only hope the writer is unfazed.

Yours,

Kilroy

It would have been better if Bill had been forced to watch Diane And Erica do ah 3some with David while he has to suck

David's cum out of them through a straw while it is being graphically documented and immediately placed on the internet.

The cream will always go to the top. KK has no peers. I enjoyed this story thoroughly.

I really enjoyed this story, the drama, the excitement, the story was just plain good. Keep using your skill and post some more loving wife stories. Good job.

Tim

KK,

I bow down and ask for your forgiveness in calling you a cuckold writer and lover. I should know better than to do that to a person who uses the nickname of one of the Judas Priest guitarist. My apologies. Truly a story well done.

But, I'll still be watching just in case you try to develop cuckold tendencies in your writing.

Great story about real people.

Something has been nagging me from all the way back in Ch. 1 but I couldn't put my finger on it till now. its the 'changed' contract plot device. It just would not work. David puts together the contract, then sends it to legal to finish. He gets to look at it before its mailed out to double check that everything is right. If something was wrong David would have to have legal redo it & sign off on it again. Point being, don't you think legal would keep copies for themselves? And wouldn't that end up exposing the fact that something was up? Great story over all.

You show absolutely no understanding of human nature what so ever. One day you're gonna meet a con-merchant who's gonna take you for every cent you have. I'll bet you voted for Bush.

Nice one KK

Any story that makes me want to finish and look forward to the finale deserves high marks. Your's does.

However, take to heart some of the critiques made by others with regards to your story. You spin words very well, but it looks as if that is your focus. I feel a great deal of emotion is missing by trying to turn a phrase.

I like your style and I hope you continue.

While it is done all the time --- for sometime now --- I don't really think authors censorsing readers really does any one any good, in creative fictionalization, other than for some selfish gloating purposes:

"I can shut you up, if you don't like my stories and tell me relentlessly about it!"

Again, while I am not saying authors shouldn't have the right --- I, too, I could imagine, would be pissed, if I spend countless hours thinking and writing stories and there's a persistent dickhead who seem to do nothing but blah, blah about my stories! --- at the same time that right should not be used so readily like this...

There has to be some provocation that goes beyond ridiculous criticism --- which, by their very nature, don't really mean much, that is, if all the person keeps saying is, "You are so stupid; your stories are worth shit;" blah, blah --- that gets an author, who is given the power to censor readers by the web-site-owner, to do such a reluctant task:

I mean, look at some of the writers here in Lit. that delete ANY person who said any thing negative about them or their stories: They have little to no readership; and they also make themselves, even with the minimal readership they're able to attract, look silly, small, and pathetic.

I think SERIOUS authors who spend countless hours creating these stories NEED to be a bit above the average reader, who, undoubtedly, has one fetish or another (which you authors will NEVER satisfy and should never even attemp to satisfy).... Indeed, shouldn't such silly comments, from such needy readers, put themselves out of serious consideration, from both serious readers and authors alike?

As I always say, readers need to take ONE STORY AT A TIME, not one author at a time. Even very good authors of KK's calibre write atrociously silly --- not just "bad" but down right silly --- stories sometimes. (I peruse no more than a dozen or so "favorite" authors; and most of the time I think they, even though they are considered my "favorites", write rather very mediocrely; but, yes, once in a while, to me, they strike gold and that makes my day,,,)

But WHEN, dear author, can you tell whether you've written a very stupidly silly story, IF not for some extreme fan to point it out to you?

An honest author must admit he can't really do it; it is only the FEEDBACK that tells him the story is "bad" or "silly." (It goes without saying that IF he INTENDED it to be "experimental" and knew it may or may not "work", etc., THEN he would have already known there would be negative feedback and so he's prepared ti wheather such things.)

Point is, censorship --- if it needs to exist at all --- must be used only extremely sparingly; it should not be used simply because the author feels insulted!

Allow me one very relevant analogy:

You can NOT, for example, BY LAW, insult Moslem leaders, communist leaders, and other "law and order" dictators ----because the "logic" is, that'd make society fractured, bad, negative, and over-all an unhealthy place to live in.

Seriously, dear authors, has such idiotic and rigid leaders and their societies produce the riches, the freedom, the stability, the democratic institutions, the individualism and creativity we have in countries where we can say: "George Bush is a complete moron, who, despite his wealth and pamapered education, still turned, even as a president, to be an poorly read, limitedly traveled, inward looking, intolerant person, who, IF NOT FOR OUR STRONG CONSITUTION, would run the country like a little retard dictator of any third world country," blah, blah???

No!

Il mio giudizio è assolutamente di parte, adoro le storie in cui la protagonista femminile soccombe ai suoi bisogni intellettual-sessuali. K.K. è uno scrittore fantastico e rispetto la sua libertà, o meglio il suo diritto di raccontare quello che la sua fantasia o il cuore gli suggerisce di fare. Bellissima storia, intreccio intrigante :-) Mi sarebbe piaciuta una Erica un attimo più biricchina ma io leggo e Lui scrive... Questa alla fine è la sola cosa che conta! Bravo!

I read all 4 parts at one time. Comments listed below.

Positve: Excellent dialogue, story setting and characters. Story is very realistic in reflecting the dog eat dog nature of business.

Negative: Erica comes off as a roommate rather than a loving wife. Sure they had a lot of sex but what was disappointing was her complete lack of faith in him once trouble began at work. When he got fired she seemed more concerned about whether he was going to be able to pay his share of the bills than comforting him during this period. Bill's move (suddenly appearing in LA) was crude but she did admit that she wanted to hear from Bill more than she wanted to be home with David. She also rebuffed David's suspicions about Bill. Overall, her behavior made me say huh!

I just did not feel that David's behavior was strange. After all he had proved himself for 9+ years and suddenly without any cause he start screwing up so she believes someone else that he is a loser and mentally disturbed. Of course, we have only Erica's word on what she told Bill during her daily talks with him. What could she say to Bill every day when David's incidents were separated by weeks?

Anyway you wrote a good ending with reasonable revenge and reconciliation. I look forward to you next story. Thanks!

SleeplessinMD

Let him rant. Anyone that reads the story can see he's lost his grip on reality. I mean he's tring to make points with things that never happened in the story. Like saying the wife went out on dates with Bill.

I've let myself get side tracked with some of the other comments and haven't got to it.

While I think having them stay together was the right thing to do. I would have liked for you to have David point out one more thing to Erica. David found out that Bill tried to get his manager at IBM fired but was caught when he forged a phony expense account. David's friend at IBM told him.

"Everyone knew that Bob Morgan, Bill's manager, would not have done the things that Bill tried to make it look like he had done. Once it was known that someone was trying to get Bob fired, it didn't talk long for them to catch Bill. They fired Bill on the spot"

David should have asked her why Bill's manager had that kind of support from his coworkers, But he didn't get it from the one person that should have known him better then anyone else.

Cogratulations! Another fine story The only flaw, which I'm sure a lot of your readers will mention, is the unbelievable behavior of a wife who confides in her old boyfriend but does not believe or trust her husband. Erica goes beyond brain dead to incredible stupidity. David is also a little dense in not picking up the connection earlier. Otherwise a fine story. Great build up of supense in the first 3 chapters. 60 year old George

The story was fine if maybe a little weak in the dialog. Conversations rarely consist of such long speeches.

But censoring comments? This is not good, not good at all.

This reader won't read any story where comments are not allowed. Nor where censors be. Sorry.

It was a good tale, but lacked sufficient emotional content. I think this is a general thread in your stories, and is the one thing that keeps you from moving from being a good author to a great author. You're very good at building up emotion in your reader in the beginning of a story, and that only makes the flatness of your confrontation scenes all the worse.

The protagonist doesn't seem human at all during this scene, he just analyzes facts, comes to conclusions, and does what he thinks is appropriate. For all the angst and negative feeling you built up in him and in your reader, there is a need for a more visceral feeling to a scene like that. The man's a hurt husband, not some neutral third-party counselor.

I'm not going to try to be your writing teacher. Fact is, I enjoyed all four parts, and anxiously awaited each new chapter.

Thanks for sharing - and keep it up!

The man who wrote "Wendy" would surely write himself out of this hole. But you didn't. The wife's first statement when Bill came to the house was "This isn't a good time". WHAT!!!?! Not, "If you're not gone in five seconds, I'm calling the Police" or, "You have some nerve to come to my and my husband's home". And no trial separation? This is the Celt's "Life's too short" with a minor twist or two. Not saying that a reconciliation was impossible, you just fast-tracked it and it didn't fit.

Firstly, I stand by my initial comment that I believe this is KK’s best story to date.

It seems to me that many of those who have ‘problems’ with this story are forgetting one extremely important point – we should be judging stories by how well the author justifies his characters’ actions IN THE STORY.

It is NOT a matter of ‘would I act this way?’, or ‘is it moral to act this way?’, or ‘is it legal to act this way?’, or even ‘would my friends/family act this way?’.

As long as the author has his/her characters act in a plausible way, as justified by the background in his story; as long as the reader can say, “I can imagine someone in those circumstances could act that way”, then the author has achieved his goal.

Can you truthfully say no one who ever lived acted as the characters in this story? I doubt it!

The next question then becomes, “did the author justify these actions by the background in his story?” I believe KK did that quite well in this story – better than he has any of his others, and he didn’t leave a Swiss cheese of holes requiring a new story to justify the omissions.

For me, this story was more about Bill and his plan to seduce Erica than about Erica and David.

Erica was not as ‘brain dead’ as many of you are painting her. Definitely not as brain dead as most of KK’s women. I think Erica’s reaction to Bill’s 'advances', believable, though not necessarily sendible. David and Erica were married for what? 9 years? maybe enough to be starting to get to know each other, but not long enough for the same deep connection many have with their 20 or 30+ year partners.

KK crafted Bill’s part extremely well. Remember that Bill started telling Erica David was stuffing up quite a while before he did anything to David, so she was already pre-disposed to hearing about problems when David eventually mentioned it. Why would Bill lie to her anyway? No reason Erica could know about.

Initially, from her reaction in the mall, Erica expected some sort of come-on from Bill and was obviously ready for it then. But when it didn't happen and they only talked about David and work she relaxed.

Bill had a long term plan - very clever - so he never mentioned anything about him and Erica until right at the end, so she was already very comfortable with him as a friend. And we have to believe her own words when she says she had no intention whatever of doing anything with Bill.

Her first described reaction on seeing him in LA was irritation, not excitement. She didn’t know Bill would be there. That’s what KK told us – why shouldn’t we believe it? We believed him when he told us Erica went to LA; we believed him when he told us Bill went to LA also; we believed him when he told us Bill went with her to her room, so why the fuck not believe the author when he tells us Erica had no intention of doing anything with Bill?? You can’t have it both ways – either the author is telling the truth at all times or he can’t be believed no matter what he tells us. It isn’t reasonable for the reader to decide to believe only parts of what the author says.

Also, this is why it is so important that authors do not lie to the reader, we must be able to believe what they tell us, either directly or through their characters. Otherwise why read the story at all?

That's my take anyways.

As to censorship of public comments – for me that’s a never, never, never happening. Allow them all, or allow none. Most of us who read the comments are perceptive enough to decide what to read &/or believe. We skim past the ratbag comments, as no doubt many pass over mine.

I don’t see a problem.

Yepper! This was the best yet. I worried through all of his problems with him/ While there may may some laws restricting former employees working with some former customers or key companies, this story did well as telling what went on. The plot was clean, the characters were fully defined, the style of writing held insterst and drew the reader in. Except for a couple of editing omissions, the reading was smooth. Most of all, the villain got his comeuppance!! And they lived happily ever after.

Thank you for letting us read your story. I had to wait to collect all parts before I could start, but it was worth it.

I liked the story but there was something missing for me. It felt like I watched a fireworks display and the rocket flew up into the air but the explosion and display of color never happened it just fizzled.

That is how I felt about this story. There was the promise of a great ending throughout the first three chapters and then chapter four kind of fizzled.

Don't get me wrong, it is great that she didn't sleep with Bill but make no mistake, she did betray her husband.

One, no matter what the logic, she needed to tell her husband that Bill was her former lover. Damn, what a dumb thing that was to not tell him.

Two, accepting phone calls from Bill (again her former lover) without telling her husband was a betrayal.

Three, calling him a pathetic loser, paranoid, etc etc and not trusing in him when he said he was being sabatoged was a betrayal.

And finally, even after he told her that he wanted no one at his company to know about his new deal because he feared sabatoge she spilled it to Bill (oh yes, again, her former lover).

So, betray him she did and I think that to make the story complete you needed to address two things a bit more strongly.

She got back into his arms way too quickly. Even if she didn't cheat by having sex with Bill she needed to realize the gravity of her betrayals for a while at least. A few commentors said the marriage couldn't survive. That is bull, but there should have been some time of reflection on how much she had hurt her husband, maybe some time of separation to demonstrate the loss that she could have endured by her betrayal of him. Eventually this couple would be alright but they did have work to do.

And Bill, now our husband could certainly have come up with a bit more "punishment" for Bill than he did.

I think you handled the part about Mike in a good way. He too should have realized that his long term great employee would not have made the mistakes that he was being accused of. I guess that he was always just a jerk and couldn't change his spots.

Sorry to ramble on. Overall I liked the story and have always appreciated your efforts. I look forward to your next.

Charleybear

The writting was excellent, and the story was a compelling good read. I appreciate the fact that you didn't have Erica fuck Bill and then have David "wimp" out and sooner or later take her back, or that Erica was duped into a blackmail, one time only sympathy fuck so David could keep his job. (zed)

I love it when the wife doesn't actualy have sex with the old boyfriendor lover. Thanks for keeping them together and successful

No matter what all the others say...I say it was a terrific story...one of your better ones perhaps.

I go away for a couple of weeks and miss a KK story. It's a good thing that I ran across it. What's there to say, it was great reading. In my opinion it's the slow build-up of tension in KKs stories that make them so fascinating. Whatever the ingredients, it's always a pleasure to see another submission by one of the best storytellers on this site.

I'll assume your comments were directed to me (probably not me alone, but...)so I'll respond. In my earlier comment, I didn't think the first words out of the wife's mouth fit. I still don't and my reasoning is the AUTHOR!! The wife had stated that when she arrived in LA and saw that numbnuts was in the lobby waiting for her, she was annoyed (the Author's words, not mine). So, after finding out he played not only her but her husband, (causing him to get fired also)he shows up AT HER HOME! Now, the Author had spent time laying out her character (for lack of a better term)the only thing she can come up with is "Now is not a good time"? Remember Kanga, according to the Author, he caused her family financial loss and tons of stress.The women I know would have spit in his eye. The jig was up and he had been revealed as the fake friend he was. She called her Lifemate a "Loser", but couldn't call this jerk-off anything? Even AFTER he manhandled her? K.K. missed by a mile on this one and you know it. It was reallllllly close to his early cuck crap.

and waiting at the airport.

Today I was sorry when my flight finally boarded. I spent the time reading this great K.K. story!

I love it when the good guy wins. I love getting so lost in the story that I notice neither the time passing nor any, at worst, very minor plot flaws.

I appreciate all the time, energy and talent it takes to tell a compelling story!

Thank you K.K.!

As with a number of other writers on this site, I am selfishly already looking forward to the next K.K. story.

I know the golden rule here is that all of KK stories are Never in anyway to be criticized less the commenter Might be banned... but I for one am getting really tired of the same shit from KK

Mind you its well written shit and his stories are very involved and yes a GREAT GREAT read.... but its Always the same story... sort of like JPB

Once again we have a massive act of betrayal on the part of the wife.... Often times without any actual sex... and the husband FULLY accepts whatever shit the wife does.

In the Bachelorette Party the fiance is caught sucking anoher guys cock NO actual intercourse and the guiy tkes her back.

In the Stein the wife knows her husband was NOT the victim of an accidental shooting... has to get the truth dragged out of her by the cops and the hubby STILL takes her back

In this story the wife's DEEEEEP betrayal of her husbands in the time of crises tells me she is not worth hanging on to. She says she did NOT cheat.... but why would anyone believe her?

given how she acted towards david why would he believe her?

One of KK's best stories and deservedly so, for it is a wonderful read. The author's pacing through the long story is good, and his engaging style encourages the narrative drive, making you want to push ahead to the next chapter. Through their words and deeds, his characters richly decorate the scenes, moving gracefully through the chapters as the plot unfurls. We learn who David and Erica are, we see their faults and foibles as well as their strengths and virtues. They feel like real people caught up in a real situation.

<P>

Best of all, KK does something that few authors manage: he constructs a <U>believable impact character</U>. Bill isn't some malevolent supergenius nor is he a formulaic, emotionless plastic man. He's a person with some good points and some not so good. He's shallow and self-centered and loses his way when he succumbs to his fantasy of having his college love return to him. He pursues her and in the end this causes his world to collapse. He's a villain but perhaps not villainous. At each turn, Bill was in control of his destiny and made choices that ultimately doomed him. That's what makes him feel real.

<P>

The plot is involved but the author doesn't allow himself to be rushed. He takes his time and spins the tale out slowly, keeping us interested as we watch Beckman's world crumble about him. Just when we're about to despair that David will fall apart, he gets his act together. He stops being passive and starts being proactive, both in his job and his marriage. It makes us admire him for his determination and his integrity. I'm reminded of the old bromide: "Why do we fall down?" "So we can remember how to get back up."

<P>

The reconciliation works because Erica admits her mistakes, expresses her remorse and promises future good behavior which, in turn, is accepted by David. It doesn't happen overnight but slowly they learn to trust again. The marriage renews, stronger than before the crisis. An enjoyable tale, KK. Thank you for sharing it with us.

<P>

P. S. The previous poster entitled his/her posting "<B>Massive Wife Betrayal without SEX</B>." The question is just how massive was the wife when this asexual betrayal took place? I don't recall any mention of Erica being unduly massive but the story was rather long. This one ranks right up there with the infamous newspaper headline: "<B>Teenage Prostitution Problem is Mounting</B>." :D

Just one question, why are the women in these stories so stupid? And why do the husbands forgive their betrayal (and I'm not talking about infidelity)

Well written, with great characters, and a believable storyline. The wifes' behavior really bothers me, this guy had left her before and she believes him over her husband? The hotel room thing just sounds wrong, she loves him and everything is going to be better when she gets back? How could she know that? The mailroom memo seems a bit wrong too, they all knew David, this kind of treatment wouldn't go unremarked in a small company. David should have been able to compare the contracts he wrote with the ones delivered and identified the problem right there. I know he was composing / working on his home computer and I'm sure that legal would have kept archival copies.

This story was a great read, things seemed a bit hurried towards the end, still don't change it. I love happy endings when they fit! Thanks for sharing!

The story was very good, and the characters were very believable and relatable as well. This is the first story I've read of yours, K.K., and I'm definitely going to have to read more! One of the best stories on this site!

the idea that the wife made mistakes but not bereyal is laughable. The Husband sumamry said it best

<br></br>.

"Would you mind if I summarize what you've told me to make sure I understand?" I asked but did not wait for an answer.

<br></br>.

1. ERICA Did not tell him about Bill as a former lover

<br></br>

2 ERICA never told David that Bill was calling her everday

<br></br>

3 Erica came to the conclusion David was losing it Based SOLELY on the info Bill gave her

<br></br>

4 Erica never took her Husbands side

<br></br>

5 Erica went out of her way to stop her own husband from having a Big success with the BDS deal

<br></br>

6 Erica actions directly lead to his firing.

<br></br>

7 The Erica called him a loser. Instead of trying to help her husband she turned to Bill.

<br></br>

8 even after she came home seeing her marriage in trouble and David Had proof Erica strongly took Bill's side

<br></br>.

Now thats whata I call a Good marriage

This story is quite characteristic of K.K. postings. I just read it a second time (I first read it what it was posted) and enjoyed it as much now as I had then. Keep writing K.K.! RAG

... some things in the last continuation are a little bit overdone. "Echt tu matsch", we would say in old Germany. ;-) Thanks a lot. I always enjoy your writing.

<p><b>Nucleus</b></p>

A very good story... from story line to everything... keep doing the good work K.K.

Oh I remember, it is always best to keep your enemies close to you so you can watch them.

Another very good story line! But the wife did seem awfully willing to be led around by the nose by her former lover! I think that it would have been pretty difficult for a lot of husbands to have been willing to forgive and forget so easily and so quickly! The husband's summary of Erica's explanation was pretty much right on the money and it would have spelled the end of a lot of marriages regardless of the fact that there was no sexual relationship. Still, there certainly was a betrayal. In any event, as usual, it was a good and entertaining story. Keep up the good work!

sorry ... this does not even come close to working.

<br></br>

sure the Wife did NOT betray David sexually -- she did not fuck her old boyfriend, Bill. (lets assume that is true). But that LIST some anonymous poster made of all the things the wife did was pretty fucking damning.

<br></br>

But here is the Kicker. She comes home FRANTIC with worry about her marriage. Bill was in her hotel room... univited and Bill OPENLY admits to wanting to cheat with her.

<br></br>

Yet when she comes home... David STILL has to PROVE to his wife that he is NOT crazy.

<br></br>

<b>You see None of the actions around the wife makes a difference. The wife's mindset appears to be...<i>" Sure Bill showed up unannounced... sure Bill was in my hotel room... sure Bill says he wants me to cheat with him... sure my marriage in trouble...</i>

<br></br>

but my husband is still nuts. After all BILL says so. </b>

<br></br>

sorry KK doesnt work.

Thanks for writing a really interesting piece.

I admit that I would not have taken her back but

he can feel her and I can only analyze her words!

that everyone else has. Yes, KK is a very good, if not excellent writer. But his plot betrays him and the likability of his protagonist and the dislike his wife generates makes the reconsillyation at the end not exactly swollable - so to speak. Others have already listed what have to be obvious reasons for this story not working in the end, so I will not reiterate them. Suffice it, that while I was entertained, I finished feeling disappointed that final outcome just did not fit the plot constructed. He is the author and can end anyway he wants, but he certainly opened up a hornets nest of confusion and dismay over the the contradictions between his good writing and the final outcome for his protagonist.

Well written, great plot and excellent character formation. The only thing I don't understand is why some of the other comments stated that the ending is implausible because Erica's character wasn't consistently portrayed. I think these people should read it again and pay better attention as to why she behaved the way she did. It's all there. Again, EXCELLENT JOB K.K. you covered all your bases and gave us a very entertaining story. I really enjoyed it.

Good work KK. The story works for me and Davids summations too. The marriage is finally on track after she learned to talk to her husband and believe him. : )

Good writing, believable plot. Loved it!

wimpy wuss is your game puta

To do such a good job of seeing two people misinterpret the same set of circumstances and to do it in a reasonable fashion shows a great deal of skill. There were a few minor mistakes but overall I thought was among the best that I have read here. anon jerry

OK, I'm nitpicking. This was a fine story, one of your best. However, David was supposed to be in IT. His contracts were digital. If he suspected a problem, why didn't he check?? That's what backups are for! He would know how to check for changes, dates, even user names which are embedded in Word documents, for example. Other than that, and the 25% gross profit, pretty good! Thanks, Ttom

i suppose it was well written with believable characters,etc etc. but what pissed me off was that the wife got off scott free. what the fuck was that? sure, he might have been drinking more and may have had a bad attitude but that was because his wife, his partner, didnt for a second believe he was right. of course, he said all this to her and then said"i want to save this marriage" it sounds like the marriage is dead already because without trust, their is no marriage. i dont see how they can be together because hands down, what she did was terrible and cant really be forgiven.

but I can see reconciliation IF and ONLY if there was not any cheating. This story was exceptionally well written and I have re-read it more than once trying to be sure I did not miss any clues about actual cheating. There are none.

She was foolish and I personally believe that HAD she NOT received the in room phone call she WOULD have cheated. But she didn't and her reaction was one of genuine concern for her hubby when she immediately departed and flew home.

I agree with another comment that her behavior in their home clearly shows that Mike had never gotten her into bed since college.

In my world, I would have dumped the bitch for for lack of faith and her non-sexual betrayal, but that's just me.

Reread it and still found it great, thanks.

I just came across this story and am glad that I did.

I'm a sucker for a happy ending. The story is well written with good character development and has a good flow. I know a lot of the "torch the bitch" readers won't like the ending. I sometimes wonder if any of them have even had a meaningful relationship with another person.

Maybe I understand David because of my long standing marriage. In the final analysis I enjoyed the story very much. Thanks for you hard work.

This is SO good and well written. Hat off to you!

Thank you.

thanks

Way, waaaay too many stupid mistakes to consider this a well-written story.

The arc is good, if predictable; but there are typos, misspellings, and wrong word choices all over the place.

Please, get an editor. Your imagination deserves better than this dreck.

and disbelief follows all throughout this story. From 'sudden' acceptance of empty words of wifey as truth to the setup by an expectant lover of a re-up to the love affair they had years ago.

This story is a rehash of an earlier story written by another writer except it's much longer, longer than it should be.

The plot:

I enjoyed it and how you wove it together. You made believable characters and motives. I learned a bit about corporate contracts and sales.

Grammar:

You did not break up your paragraphs properly, particularly with conversations. You got many homonyms incorrect, particularly in the 'to, two, too' catagory

Nuff said.

Straight fives. A favorite author.

to your self and family. TK U MLJ LV NV

I hated to have the story end. I wanted more. I hope you develop it into a novel and let us know when it comes out.

Bravo, callida junctura.

and it truly deserves its place there. Excellent story - all four parts. Thank you for a top class read.

...our hero sure bought his wife's explanation awfully easily. She had absolutely nothing to back up her version of events but her word and he bought it without any questions or reservations. Thanks for sharing.