All Comments on 'The Family Mansion Pt. 01'

Damn you kinda left us hangin

That was a nice start.

But it's hot as fuck. The premise is just absurd, the characters are unrealistically gorgeous and all the women lust for Nathan. As a story it's not good but as a porn (and not erotica) story it's really good. I want more and more of this story.

This is equivocally the most structured, well written, orgasm-inducing piece of read over my years of being a Literotica member.

Thank you, ever-so-much, for crafting and sharing this masterpiece

I anxiously look forward to what I hoe are many, many more chapters of this wonderful saga!

About half way through I started just skimming the story. It got monotonous, maybe it was too much description, or too much of the characters thoughts and feelings. Your prologue was a flashing 50ft. Banner for incest videos and photos. Not that it's a bad thing but, subtlety has its place. I like the plot and characters, but maybe cut down on the "I act like I hate him because I cant admit even to myself that I love him" a good storyteller only has to mention that type of thing once in a while, not everytime they interact. I do like it though, just trying to help. Thanks and keep going you could keep this up for tens of, if not hundreds, of chapters. If your not opposed to incest pregnancy it could be a multi generational story. If you bring in the doctors, maid, gardener and Liz's family things could get wild.

This is much better than the Dr Mom series. It's still pretty cliched in the 'son/brother has a massive cock, therefore I must sleep with him' setup but the writing is a big improvement. Overall, it's more like gonzo porn than proper erotica but it shows promise.

Too much blah, blah, blah.

Best story I've read on Literotica....for eliciting a regurgitation response. I take it back that you write like a 10 year old. You write like a 7 year old.

love the story i would to read a lot more too thank you

Just finished part one, I enjoyed it. The action was a little slow but I understand it's a build up. looking forward to the big dick Nathan to fuck the shit out of his family.

An interesting concept, but your work needs proofreading and editing, you change tense mid sentence a number of times, there are also a number of obvious grammatical errors where words have been left out of sentences making for very difficult reading.