All Comments on 'The Food Desert'

Since I have inside information and know that this is just the first chapter, let me quell the "unfinished" cries. There is more, much more, to come, and it is the bomb. Great story, Q.

Let us now imagine that following on the heels of this epic story, there is a return, after a long hiatus, of one of the OGs around here, Longhorn__07, with a major story. Then, imagine that Q and Longhorn come back with new stories, in August, along with Todd172, HDK, DTIverson, Laptopwriter, and many of the best writers around. Stories of fantasy and relationships, changing as the times change, from some of the all-time greats. Fun!

Safe to assume that this is chapter one?

Is this a part of a series ? The story feels unfinished to me. It's a good story though

I thought the first pages was laying the foundation for a great story and then it ended. I feel cheated and have wasted 3/4 of an hour getting into something that didn't exist. Poo

but left me high and dry. You did not mention this was chapter 1, but I can live with

that as long as there is a continuation. If not.....WTF?

Is that the end of the story or are a page or so missing? I'll hold out rating for a few days, see if there was an upload error or something... Enjoyed the beginning and middle hoping there's an ending...

a good start to a good story

... and thank you for the great story. I learned something. Very good job.

This meandering tale was a fun read. Not what I expected when I started reading. Wonderful story!

Kudos again to qhml1! I started reading your stories a while ago. I especially like your more recent ones.

When I was in VISTA I saw some of what you write about firsthand. I still see the effects of “food deserts” when people from nearby poor areas come to shop in our neighborhood either because there is no grocery in their area it their local stores gouge them. In addition to telling a good story, you do a good service by bringing attention to this type of situation.

Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to whatever you decide to write next.

Then it just devolved into a bunch of happy horse shit.

I hope the author gets back on topic soon.

Thanks to blackrandi1958 for letting us know there is a part 2. I was totally gobsmacked that the story stopped so suddenly. No other word about his ex wife or the wedding in a few days time. Is reconciliation on the cards or his his ex wife working on a scam? Looking forward to a conclusion. 4 stars at the moment for the quality of writing.

I can confirm (good sources!) that there is a lot more to come and that it is a great story! Maybe a chapter 1 indication would have been helpful, but that is a detail...

Fantastistic news about Longhorn_07 et al.!!

Another great story from Q,

And i hope beyond all hope your right Randi, Would love to see some more works by those other authors as well.

Blackrandl1958 chimes in with the big tease!

Great story line, great writing from a great author.

Thanks you as always for sharing on Lit for free.

C

You always have good stories - well-written and -proofed. The grammar geek in me thanks you. :) I will impatiently wait for the rest of the chapters of this tale.

I thought I submitted all of the story. What you read is just a small fraction, I don't know if something glitched when I posted, but I will check with the moderators and resubmit immediately. Sorry.

Q

After reading all that, I hope there is a part 2 to follow??

Good basis for a story. Looking forward to a continuation or completion to fill out the story line. Good read as far as it goes. Thanks.

something went amiss. Q will not leave you hanging, so worry not. There will be more to this story.

You may or may not recall, Q was just cutting his literary teeth when Longhorn__07 last posted on Literotica. In fact, Q sort of filled the void of sweeping action stories with characters larger than life, a void created when Longhorn__07 became a monk. Fast forward seven years and we have the clash of the titans! Great stories from both Q and Longhorn within the space of a few days! This is huge!

This story is about a food desert. Literotica has been a bit of a literary desert lately, but the arrival of Longhorn is no mirage! He will help lead us from the dust and dirt of bad BtB and willing cuck tales to the promised land of well written stories with plots, character development, angst, love and redemption. Is it possible Literotica will emerge from the Dark Ages and enjoy a Renaissance? I look forward to August and reading stories from some real powerhouses, and a couple of coattail riding clowns.

CLIT is bringing it to the lucky readers because it can, and because that's what CLIT does. PAXIFICA can only watch in dazed wonder as it scratches it's collective, figurative balls, grip the pickaxe handle tighter and wonder what the hell happened.

I’d give it a 5. If not then a 3 because it feels like the first 2 pages are a chapter 1 and the second are a chapter 2 and it should be in non-erotic. It was really well written but felt like a whose the guy and then an uplifting story about a poor neighborhood. The cheating wife was an afterthought.

Bring Kara in without a reason. So I'll wait a bit, the story is too good to have a trashy ending.

Excellent start, dragged me in straight away. So much in so few words. Can't wait for more...

Great to see a story by Q. Would love to have more. What a great foundation.

Thank you for the glimpse of the future Randi. Really looking forward to all of those stories.

It's a good story, but lacks the depth & richness of the version posted on the other site.

Still, it's nice to see other possibilities in the story. And good to see that Q is still posting good stuff for us to enjoy.

P.s., any hope for part 2 of Love Shack?

Story started off fair enough .

I thought we were just being treated to some extensive background .

It reads like the first half of one story with the second half of another very different story .

Not good .

steeltiger01, which other site? I'd like to read the difference

When I saw the name I thought I was reading a Slirpuff story. I am a bit disappointed though because it is wanting a continuation. Great to read another story from one of my favorite Lit authors.

The two stories seem to be very different however I know you have a plan to bring them together. You have also shown a part of bigger cities many people don't ever think about so thanks for that. Good stories are supposed to make you think as well as forget your own lives for a few minutes.

I am glad there are writers on here like you.

I just checked the other site, and there is much more there. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but knowing q I'm sure it will be worth it!

First, thank you Q for the fun read, even if it's only a partial.

Looking forward, with great anticipation, to the rest!

Ok, Steve Moore! Is that a nod to Slirpuff?

Will we be seeing something him soon as well?

Please!!

Thanks again and please keep writing!

Incomplete! Needs another chapter!

Outstanding story. Has all the key elements: realistic dialogue, believable plot, and great character development. This is from a true master of the art.

Really enjoyed this. Would like to see continuation of entire plot.

But choppy, sappy plotting...the ex really doesn't serve a purpose in the story. The main thing, though, is that Q obviously has never lived deep in the "neighborhoods". The characterization of that whole "scene" reads like a Hallmark movie fantasy written by a white wine sipping liberal who lives in a safe neighborhood. I've lived there. If Q lived "there" (e.g. South Side of Chicago, East St. Louis, Fifth Ward in Houston, Hunter's point in SF, etc.) with the sentimentalized vision he apparently has of the places and people, he end up badly hurt, if not dead.

Well, not really. I've been reading stories on this site for close to three years, but have had difficulty signing up. Finally, on my latest attempt I was successful.

This story, and others like it have made it all worthwhile.

I've noticed in the past that some stories end abruptly, and I'm OK with that.

If this were the end I would still rate it as amongst the best. But now I have something to look forward to, and from previous comments, I know I won't have long to wait.

Thanks, to the many fine writers that submit their work here.

Definitely, 5 stars!!!

Otherwise the beginning with the extensive introduction of the x-wife makes no sense.

It would be nice if the author used something like Ch 1 or TBC or To Be Continued.

You know, just a little info for the natives.

Also knocking it down a point because of the above. 4*

This story is in the wrong category. It should non-erotic. The story also seems like it is two separate stories cobbled together. Therefore, you lose a star.

You kind of went off on one and ..., well, what happened with the ex? Still, I enjoyed the story and your humor had me laughing out loud. Will chapter 2 put us back on course?

.... but there is no way this is a stand-alone story. He has introduced a couple of threads. Now, we wait to see how the tapestry unfolds. I agree with the rest; it's good to see Q back in business. I could compose a 'Ten All-Time Favorites' list from his work alone.

You are thoughtful in your story, which is actually two separate stories about the same man . The first half was Your Family and the second was your Acquired family and how you achieved your wealth. I don't know how to write so I Will Not try to tell you how to do what you do so well . Please , tie the two sections together and continue this story . 5 STARS

Good writing. Would be great if it had a coherent theme. But as others have pointed out, it is at the very least incomplete. I’m assuming there’s going to be a continuation...

I'm assuming this is just a part 1 and there's more to come; that seems to be the case here. However, I need to gently point out, with all respect due to a great writer, that finishing stories hasn't been your strong suit of late, so I really hope it happens. Love your stories Q, and I'm eagerly looking forward to more. Thanks for posting.

Well, it ain’t got no sex so I guess it’s a grocery store manual.

The writing, however, is first class, as I've come to expect from anything you write.

Really would like the rest of it - hate being left hanging.

Really happy Randi confirmed a continuation, 'cause, man - when it's THAT GOOD, it better not have an opened ending like this!

If there's one thing I'm hoping to read about, in the next chapter, is why do a MC like him keep having wives running away from him. Kara made some sense (being young, beautiful and materialistic rarely make a woman into a good wife), but Maria? That relationship needs to be explored a little bit more - she was hot, could cook... but then disappeared? Why? There's also the whole mystery behind Kara's reintroduction into his life - that, of course, needs to be explain.

I rarely vote on any chapter of a series before it is completed, but, to encourage qhml1 to give us his next installment asap, I'll make an exception here. A way deserved 5★... 'can't wait for more.

You can read the whole thing on stories online.

Not your best work, qhml1. Far too much narration on growing the grocery business which went on interminably, to the detriment of interaction between characters.

**** Be warned... spoilers! ****

As soon as you introduced the ex-wife, it seemed inevitable you'd put them together again. She cheated on him and dumped him for a richer guy the first time around... so why would he take the mercenary bitch back?

The grandmas who took him under their wing should have set him up with a beautiful girl from the neighborhood. Considering he was worth over $300m by the end, getting back together with a barren old slut that had cheated on him was ridiculous. It's incredibly easy to find a younger second wife if you're wealthy...

The ending wasn't uplifting, it was just sad. Although he wanted to have children of his own, he never had the chance, because Kara wasted her fertile years being a gold-digging whore.

and tell a great story, and there is no doubt that inner cities have food desserts. For that I give 5*. As to why this story is in loving wives, I haven't a clue.

I don't get the point? How did we get from the ex-wife to food markets? Help me out here.

As long as there is a part two, then this is really good. Without a second part, not so good. The original characters and storyline dropped along the way.

It's a great story so far, with your usual great writing. It seems to be missing page 5 and 6 though. I look forward to you posting them.

....but where is the ending? So much left unanswered.

College baseball is equal to low A minor leagues. The best college baseball players might start at high A, but never AA. They could not compete coming straight from college.

Q we all know you're one of the best writers on L, hell you're a "Master-of-the-Quill" but your presentation of this story is either missing or you're being sneaky testing the waters for interest in a part 2+. You ended this segment very unfinished for a L-LW posting - and that is a departure from your style. I will say your story line shifts lost me a few times making the story a lil choppy.

Q are you going to leave us hanging, like TTT 'Town without Honor' or Soldierboy never concluding the Sheriff Quinn saga - both were promised over 2 yrs ago?

There is a lot to unbox here. The title is the most accurate portion of this entire post. Not even at issue with the non erotic nature, however, as stories go i would compare it to a one night stand that lasted for months.

We as readers were given tons of information, including hints at secret dealings and plot twists but were left with fresh collards.

Here's to parts 2 through completion.

Well written story with a very real believable theme. I understand that the rest of the story will be coming soon but I was confused about the comments that referenced Longhorn__07 - is there a story here that I missed?

It felt like you abandoned the story I cared about to get sidetracked on the implausible story of the Great Ghetto Grocery Gambit that somehow turned him into a rich man by giving all the profits away, and then completely forgot about the main, "Loving Wives" part of the story. I'm guessing there's a part 2 coming, because it didn't end. It just stopped.

Thanks for sharing.

Cog

Usually, after reading a few paragraphs of a story, I can determine if it's an over-used plot, and I start skimming.

It was a pleasure to sit back and read this story slowly, taking in every word.

Looking forward to the continuation. 5*s

Well, there might be an LW in wifey1, but this is mostly about Community Development. Three-plus LIT pages of it. Good if you intend to be a community organizer (it worked for one potus), but gimme a break.

I read stories for my enjoyment, some I enjoy more than others! I don't have the

talent to write, so I keep my thoughts to myself. I liked this and would read more.

Thanks for taking the time to write this story.

Longhorn and Qhml Wow. Come on DQS1,we're waiting for you

I'm still waiting for Part 2 of The Love Shack.

as always. im hoping this is just a first part if not why even mention or have the ex-wives in the story and the mention of that business meeting that kara mentioned. i really dont think ur that mean or dumb lol so im looking foreword to the next part or parts ty for the read

The story starts with him meeting with his ex, and then talks about what he has done in the past. A lot is missing, and hopefully he finds someone special to share his life with.

Fun to read.

Might have been more professional

to add "Part 1" to the name of the story,

but the plot is good and positive.

4 out of 5 from me.

of a new story. I admire your style of writing; the ductus and flow of the storytelling let me just sink into the narration. Very enjoyable. You are my favorite author.

I'm reserving my rating till the story is finished. But so far it's really good.

Idk, seems like Q is a bit off his game with this one. The part where the main character inappropriately flirts with his stepsons fiance is gross, and then he goes thru a whole history of what made him successful

We never get back to the wedding, or Kara showing up at it, if she did, etc.

Please, carry on.

So far so good. Can’t wait for the wedding!

Enjoyed the narrative and flow of the story as you set the stage. Looking forward to seeing where you go with it from here.

I considered leaving lit in the rear view mirror because of all the cuck crap. Thanks to the greats for creating a pathway to a more scenic route.

With eternal gratitude

It's been stated that an incorrect version got posted, and is being corrected. There is a better version on the other site.

Well written, good characters and storyline, what more could you ask for in reading material. Of course you can’t beat the price. I hope and assume there will be a part two?! I really enjoy your writing. The quality is always top notch and worth the time to read.

Thank you for sharing and if you keep writing I will keep reading.

This is a great story with engaging characters. I'm very much into the story and want to see where he takes it. Nothing but praise for this one. I hope we have a long way to go.

If Q’s previous work is anything to go by, we’re not going to be left hanging

Looking forward to the glitch being remedied and the rest of the story 👍

It was like there were 2 stories and the first was forgotten. Would have given 5* but the exwife crap disappeared.

Did you put the story down for a while and when you came back to finish, forgot what you had done?

As in NEXT chapter please.

Great story.

What a great story to be placed in the LW section. However, qhml1 needs to finish the wives segment that initiated this story. What happens with Steve and Kara?

Thanks for this wonderful reflection of what could be and needs to be done in some elements of our greater community.

Tiny Tim

I know I will catch flack for this comment. Having read the whole story, it's more a Fairy Tale than a LW story. It might be a good basis for a romance novel for those who like to end up all weepy-eyed but any similarity between this story and reality is purely coincidental. The more I read the more incredulous the story became.

Q's writing skills are unquestionably excellent. I just can't buy the storyline.

"You look on my wall and see very few white faces, mostly black and Hispanic or a mixture of all the races."

This came off as an over-the-top act of virtue signalling. Why did he love so few white people? Was he a racist?

"like me, she never had any biological children"

Which is where the whole story falls apart. He was obscenely rich at the end ($300 million) and was looking forward to having his own children. When he took the gold-digging whore back, Kara was 43. They could have still have had IVF or used a surrogate. There was no reason they couldn't have their own children, aside from it not fitting your united colours of Benetton ending.

"All I could see was Love."

I like a nice happy ending, but this wasn't one. In genetic terms, he's a failure. His line ended because he took back an old cheating whore. They don't even want to be buried next to each other, so it's like they both settled for second best because the loves of their lives are dead. That's not an uplifting ending, it's tragic!

He should have told Kara to fuck off, married a younger woman, then raised his own family. Having kids of his own wouldn't have stopped him from giving handouts to all his adopted/step children.

What a great story. So glad the rest is posted. Yeet! Randi.

is this a rewrite i dont remember there being this many pages the first time i read this but my memory is really bad

A 12 week pregnant woman cry. I wasn't expecting this.. I couldn't put my phone down. I didn't want to put it down.. this was so beautiful. I loved everything about it.

My background is in investment and business, and the business discussion in this story was implausible; however, the moral of the story was too important and I chose to ignore that aspect. As you said at the end this was a fairy tale.

I would have loved two lines at the end of the story. Steve and Kara decide that they wanted all four to be buried next to one another. Steve and Kara next to each other, with Sandra moved to be on the side of Steve and Bob on the other side of Kara. When they made their pact the death of their spouses was too recent, and emotions too raw of feeling fidelity towards the recently passed. When a loved one passes you feel that it's very important that they always be remembered. Now they have two new re-found loves and commitments to honor as well.

There was redemption in so many ways. For Kara, for his second wife's kids, for the gang members who got the opportunity to turn another path, and the community in general. One could hang on to hatred, distrust, anger and bitterness, or one could forgive, and choose to see the good in others. Optimistic people tend to see people as generally good. Not everyone ends up deserving our good faith, but most do.

He could have CHOSEN to hang on to bitterness towards Kara and that would have affected his future relationships and business opportunities. Hard to be successful in business being bitter and hateful. If he stayed bitter at Maria, and wanted to punish her through her children, her three innocent children would have suffered and they would have passed on their own bitterness unto the world with a ripple effect of more negativity and hatred in the world.

If he CHOSE to stay bitter and distrustful towards Kara he would have missed out the matured, grown version of the teenager he fell in love with. Even if they never got back together it would have been worthwhile for him to reconnect with her and letting that piece of history be put aside. But obviously he got a lot more than that. What an opportunity lost if he chose to stay bitter, angry and distrustful.

Recently I read about a man forgiving the man that killed his daughter. Both the murderer and his victim were teenagers from the same disadvantaged neighborhood at the time of the murder. I don't blame the father for doing it (it was after something like 20 years and he went to see the murderer in prison), and I can see how much weight that would take off his shoulders, but for me that is one forgiveness I can't see being able to do. But short of that, forgiveness and redemption is a beautiful thing.

A qhm special, one with a lot of heart to it and touching on love,its meaning, and also the consequences of the lack of it. It also says unlike some of the comments said that the family we create is often stronger than the family we are genetically related to. Kara and Steve's story also shows that people do grow and change, Steve learns to forgive while also learning to grow beyond himself, he grows from a young,good hearted man who didn't see much beyond wha life gave him to a good hearted man who learned to embrace bigger things. In a sense, Kara was right for the wrong reasons as a young wife, she saw growth as the country club trading up but growth was something Steve needed to be himself,as shown by the story line.Kara learns that life and love are more about what you give than what you take and that it isn't measured by wealth, and that true love is a rare gift.

One flaw, in the story he is 61 at one point,then it seems to cut back to when he has just retired and then the business with the ex wife getting pregnant at 44 (7 yrs younger than steve), the flow was wrong,the ex would be 54. Prob an editing error.

This is not a rewrite. This was the way the story was meant to be posted. Something happened and the first four pages, only, were posted. After comparing notes, the story was reposted the way it was intended. It was four pages, the first time, and that was a mistake. It is 13 pages, now, and that's no mistake.

We have a story with a good wife that has to die so a shitty one can 'reform' and get remarried to the protagonist. I'm sorry, but you don't remarry a wife that dumped you to be a gold digger. Of course she is fine now, she has her own wealth from numerous failed marriages, so she certainly won't stray from her Uber rich 'first love.'

You can dolly it up all you like, but she was an adult who made a knowing decision. If she had committed murder, she probably would still be doing time. But luckily she just killed her marriage over greed, you apparently can get time off for good behavior in that case.

I love your stories 99% of the time, but this one sucked.

Steve is Jesus without the lumber. The plot is sound but plods on through an up with people montage. Its the White Shadow meets Kotter meets hell Oprah was there too. He is a stone cold killer but only of druggies. This touched on great topics but even though it deals with healthy foods about put me in diabetic coma. Cut it to 7 pages and its an HOF story. Thanks for the saga.

The rewrite of this story made it stronger, but more diffuse. The original story was fine, but the impact is different, and the feeling that is taken away from the story is also different. In an ideal world, both versions would remain on the site.

I very much enjoyed this story, although it’s a little far-fetched, but that’s the beauty of writing.....the author is in control of the world he or she has created. I seriously doubt that in “the real world”, Michael and Miguel and their respective gangs suddenly start cooperating with each other.

Excellent reading...your stories are among the best on this site, very insightful. Thanks again.

the wage gap, the 1 in 4 rape statistic, and the Duluth model of domestic violence

but as all fiction is a lie anyway it doesnt hurt the story

This was really good but a eel downer. I found it so depressing around the middle (shortly after the robbery) that I just skipped to the end.

but you couldn't sell me on Kara.

It's fine, your character deserved his heroic sunset, but I couldn't get by the thought that, except for the happy accident of taking that first shortcut that led to a pinnacle food empire, he could still be just running his farm... Still essentially the same man with the same values, but just like 99% of us, living at ground level, just getting through what you have to do to survive.

And if that were the case, I really doubt that he would have ever heard from Kara again.

She knew his history, had been keeping tabs on him, at that very first reunion. She knew who he was and it was hardly an accidental meeting.

She was back to lay her future path. The only thing that would keep her honest this time around, is how much she stood to lose, even though this time, it's not money that's the trading commodity, it's social contact, community, and love.

No reconciliation for me.

thought something was up just read ur comment lol guess i'll will skim what i already read till i get to the stuff i didnt. a few stories that have been coming out have been fragmented lately may be the sites screw up, ty for ur comment

Quit apologizing for the length some stories need it to get it done!

It's a nicely written story, but drifts into morality lecturing.

What a waste of time and talent.