All Comments on 'The Good Girl'

I can see your sincerity stamped on every para. Great narration. WOW! Cheers!!

I enjoyed the story up to the point of the attempted rape and ending with them doing bondage, I not into beating on women and bondage. I gave it 4 stars

So, this is the start of a series?

HOORAY!

@starhunter - Much appreciation! So glad you enjoyed it.

@sexymeup - I'm sorry. I am considering a revisement of that scene. My intention was to bring a climax where not only would Dave be there to save the day, but it would also convince him he needed to be with Zoe... I didn't want Zoe to cheat on him for him to want to be with her to keep her in line. But my approach may not have been correct, though. Thank you for your honest thoughts.

@PygmyCoho - Yes, it is the start of a series. However, it is a series of individual stories where each submission is complete and unrelated to the rest. At least that is my plan. : )

SSW

I loved this story. Good twists at the end - I thought there might be a scene filmed with Zoe and Zach, but great ending to surprise us all. I've read many of your stories and love everything so far.

And your grammar list on your profile is classic!

Keep up the good work.

Dave

@Daveindenver - Thank you! So glad to not only keep you intrigued with the new story, but also with my previous work.

My English Lesson has gotten quite long with all of the suggestions submitted. I've had to condense the rest of my bio! Lol

SSW

I thought it was a beautiful love story. You hit the right note in every chapter. Several times l thought it was going in a different direction, but then you would twist the story and I'd have to keep reading to find out what happened. I liked the scene when Dave returned. It meant he had real feelings for Zoe. The erotic parts were very hot. You really know how to weave them in seamlessly. Can't wait for the next installment.

You know I love your stories. You know you're one of my fave authors on Lit. ;) I don't think anything will top Raw, Taken and Worlds Apart for me, but I think I have read every one of your stories at this point, and I have loved every one of them - this one was no different! I am a "story" person, so I love story and character development before the action, but I did feel that this one was a tad long before Dave came home. But after that - it was action packed and exciting.

So... the part of what I love about your stories is that many of your toe the line of something really taboo (or something I hate personally), yet you manage to deliver it in a way that is really hot. lol So, for example... Taken... there is a lot of non-consent. Rape doesn't do it for me, but your story did. Raw... BDSM... I love certain aspects of it, but not when a male is dominating for power and he is disrespecting a woman. Your depiction in Raw was perfect. Worlds Apart... I have a very real fear of snakes. Yet... I found your story very effective. Good Girl... Zoe... borderline incest (which is NOT for me), yet... I loved it. I have to hand it to you for the way you weave a tale. :D

FYI... I read a few of your scenes from this story out loud to my husband. He approved. ;D ) Thanks for something good and naughty to read.

@ Pinknite & LadyMireille You know I aim to please! And you both know I love you and your stories, too. As always, I appreciate your insight since I give you mine as your editor. : ) Hopefully the next episode finds your favor as well!

SSW

an amazing story, showing the development of a young woman's feelings. Thanks for the images. The dialog works well. The pacing is fine -- though I think the ending needs a bit of a tweak to better hint at the time between scenes.

Outstanding --

This is one of the best stories I’ve read on this site. You kept me captivated to the very end. I was amused by your characters’ names. Really,the Mitchel Brothers as porn film producers!

@jsmangis - I can honestly say it was purely a coincidence that I picked those names. I had no idea there actually were two brothers who were porn producers! LOL

SSW

(Only error I noticed was "racking" instead of "wracking". You rack pool balls, you wrack your brain)

@anonymous - Actually, I am correct, per Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary and several other sources. This concise explanation is provided by the Grammarist website.

SSW

Rack [one’s] brain

Rack [one’s] brain is one common phrase in which rack in the torture-related sense is figuratively extended. To rack one’s brain is to torture it or to stretch it by thinking very hard.

To wrack one’s brain would be to wreck it. This might sort of make sense in some figurative uses, but rack is the standard spelling where the phrase means to think very hard. Wrack [one’s] brain is so common, though, that we have no choice but to consider it an accepted variant (some dictionaries agree with this).

Great job of handling multiple threads without losing the primary story line.

Awesome work with the aspect of the narrative of the main character.

I loved this story and I only wish we got more of Zach! I hope he gets his own story!

GREAT. Needs a tad bit of proofreading - The sense of loneliness you managed to convey in the opening sequence was so overwhelming and heartbreaking to the degree that it actually brought a tear to my eye - Didn't Dave communicate with her at all while he was in California? - When she was venturing down to the basement, the sense of apprehension could be cut with a knife - After losing her virginity (pain&blood) her post coital reactions were just about what one could realistically expect them to be instead of the usual screaming orgasm two seconds after having her hymen ruptured -

Oh yeah, was it just a coincidence that Dave's sir name was 'Mitchell' as in the Mitchell Brothers of the golden age of porn?