All Comments on 'The Good Husband'

People will scream about jumping around in time, but I loved it. If you like puzzles this one is for you. I figured out who was supposedly in the van early but I still can't figure Tess sending him after Heather. I am sure that the Moral Right will scream or the Left???

original in its plot line, original in its presentation.

It's always good and extremely rare to read something different in this genre.

But this story is not only different and original. It's also well done and pretty sensual.

something different from all these cheating wife stories that started to be so extremely unoriginal and BORING. Thanks for the tale.

The jumping did put me off at first but the conclusion makes it work so well. I like the new idea you have brought to the loving wife category.

And yes it is a new idea, at least it sounds new. Anyway it was well written but as others have said the time jumping was a little distracting.

Gotta give you credit, first new idea I have seen here in a long

time. Others are right the bouncing around was a little weird

but other than that it was great. Now the bad part, you're really

gonna have to go to extreme measures to make your next story

better than this one. I'll be looking forward to it.

Keep writing.....

Great story

I'll agree with the other posters. very good story and if not a new idea it's unusual. .it's very well written and there's that twist. as to the time jumping, maybe it's me but it wasn't confusing and I actually liked what it brought to the story. I have ever since "Pulp Fiction." Anyway, good story and I'll look forward to more.

what a plot twist and totally unexpected and I dont get fooled too often.

wow

The time jumps could have been a tad smoother, but it made a very interesting story and very well done!

the Literotica luminaries who have commented before me--very good, very different, demanded our attention to track it carefully, and very rewarding! I look forward to more of your work.

Thanks, ohio

...he's correct - this is a clever and erotic story. Misdirection right out of Swordfish... Well done.

The time changing was handled well, but I can see where some might have some issues with trying to keep up with it. The storyline was excellent and I loved the twists and turns. Quite well done. Thank you for sharing your skills and intellect.

until the end. Wow, what a great story. While I don't agree with the cheating, even if it is too help a friend, I loved the idea that Andy and Tess hooked up at the bachlorette party. I liked your characters. thanks for writing.

I could not identify the characters relationship which slowed my reading and understandding. Liked the format, prose and plot.

Fun to read a story that keeps you guessing. Enough sordid ennui to gratify pervs like me, and a nice conclusion for the romantics.

but then it was fun.

A little tough to follow the "Pulp Fiction" style, but very nice.

to really get into the story or really give a shit about the characters . I realize this format is a difficult one to pull off . It didnt work for me .

It felt like flashes of the story were being presented at a frenetic pace. It did require some effort to follow but your timeline was clearly marked. Not something I would want as a steady diet but very interesting and effective. Nice ending twist also. I totally did not see that coming.<P>

Thanks for sharing.

Now THAT was a lovely story...very sexy, without treading on the overused cheating line. Nice. Very nice.

I was in my ah damn, another ruined marriage and then you hit us with the zinger. Very sharp and unexpected. Time line didn't bother me too much, it was fairly evident what you were doing.

Thanks for your hard work

well written too. loved it.

The time jumps were a little tricky but sections were clearly marked and after a little bit it wasn't so hard to figure out what fit where. The harder thing to put together was which characters to follow. The story starts with Jen and Derrick but they turn out to be not very important. The story turns out to be mostly about Tess and Andy but that isn't clear for a while. Between the characters and the time jumps the story was muddled for a while but I still enjoyed it in the end. I figured out the car liaison as soon as Andy's reaction was ho hum. Your wife was hooking up with someone and you aren't upset? That gave it away. Andy's hook up with Heather was OK. Again, I suspected that Tess had given permission since Andy's character wouldn't lead him to do it on his own. If he had it wouldn't have made sense. I usually don't like mixing extra people into a marriage. Just keeping two people straight is hard enough but this seemed to work out OK. Will Heather need more cheering up in a few weeks? Any other of Tess' friends feeling blue? Ah well, good story.

Loved the relationship between Andy and Tess. Loved this story

It would have helped to have dates. The story skipped forward and backward in time, a lot.

As others, I was waiting to see if Andy was headed to new pastures and throwing Tess aside. Several interesting plot twists in the ending. Good work.

Good story - well written. Loved the twist, you pulled that off nicely. I suppose my main quibble was the use of time chapters I found it frustrating - the last thing I want to HAVE to do is keep notes or make a timeline when I read a story. Otherwise I found it quite enjoyable.

It's a story that the reader has to read very carefully , or one would get lost, as I did the first time I read the story.

The second time around, I did pay attention to what was going on and appreciated the storyline a lot more.

Thanks

Why? Because it was way too complicated. I was lost with the back-and-forth of the time line. Sure there were "days" and "times," titling each section, but until you read into the section you didn't know if it was progressive or retrospective. So many characters and no real distinction of who was who without creating some score card... I love the writing and the description, but not the execution of this as a story.

I'm repeating what others have been saying, but yes, this was indeed very original. It actually makes you think about what you're reading. Well-done twist ending too.

Good job.

Maybe it was me, but I was as frustated as Heather, trying to unravel the plot. I hated it, because I'm a puzzle freak, I both love and hate puzzle. That means I had no choice but to finish the story, I'd like the author to warn his readers before they get stuck into reading the next one. In the end I like this one, but only because I was able to work out the puzzling story line. 3 for originality, 2 for well written, -1 for mind boggling confusing and -1 for not warning me before hand. That's a total 3 keep writing, but not like this one....ever...please.

Great work. Loved the confusion. Would have liked help with moving forward or backward in time. I figured it out, but a date would have helped. I guess that was part of the fun.

Thank you for all you contributions to this community.

...great job, Harry right. I guess I missed this last week. Now some fun with Miriam???

At first I was a little confussed about the timeline, but then caught on. And while I am sure Heather needed to get laid I think loaning out your husband (to whom Heather has had a crush on for years) is a recipe for disaster.

On a side note who has a bachelorette party on a Wednesday? Not

Hard to follow and I was hard pressed to stay interested. I couldn't enjoy this story all that much.

and how does roscovich type while constrained in a straight jacket? Story lacked continuity but had a good idea, just got confusing in the execution.

in relationships and vows, TK U MLJ LV NV

(difficult to introduce so many characters without space to define them) but a decent enough story. The only question being, since she initiated his affair, would he be able to deny her if she decided to do the same?

This is no different than the wife fucking a friend for some stupid reason and I hate those stories, it would change my marriage and not for the better.

I was so hard to comprehend it was stupid. Didn't like it.

A welcome change for this category (which I usually avoid - reading about cheating and ruined or damaged relationships isn't my cup of tea). The time jumps were a bit awkward to start with, but worked in the end.

The possibility of this screwing up their marriage is there. No good deed goes unpunished.

I think I liked the storyline. But I kept getting lost. In your attempt to be clever (I think that's what you were trying to do) the story was simply too hard to follow. That ruined it for me.

Holy fuck is that the truth betrayed, a wannabe cuck who spends 24/7 reading and babbling on a sex story site, hard to comprehend indeed.

I really like the story when I finally figured it out - but the 3 timelines going on simultaneously were almost more than my poor old brain could decipher. Liked the twist at the end where the "mysterious parking lot hookup" turned out to be her husband.

Yeow - the story, once it was teased out of the horrid mess of failed creativity and insipid narcissism that the writer purposefully dumped on us, was pretty cool. EVERYTHING ELSE SUCKED!

Here's another one I missed. What an interesting story; beautiful little tale, actually quite touching, and well conceived.

An Interesting story...When the Mono-Van episode showed, I knew the only way the story end well was the unknown man be her husband...

what was really going on, what is wrong with actual explaining what happened. T

A very interesting story. Well conceived and written. How I didn't see it earlier is a good question...

no, there it was

uh oh now where is it

damned if I know

1 star

Personally, I think a lot of people have the comprehension capability and attention span of gnats, but I didn't see a problem in following this, although I have to say I was looking for your twist from the moment Miriam sweated through telling Andy. As it read, it seemed like it wasn't just Heather who was harbouring thoughts about the man.

Jumping from scene to scene added tension and kept the pace tight. Had this been told in a linear fashion, the multiple viewpoints would have been more difficult to justify, but the structure suits the need to see everyone's feelings and thoughts, and you showed them well. My only criticism of the piece was that it would have been nice to delve into the characters a little more deeply. The premise showed a really nice slice of suburban reality, the characters muted archetypes of 'everyperson' and an exploration of that, on top of the erotic aspects, I think would have made this riveting. Just my opinion :) I gave 5 stars for thoughtfulness and originality in the delivery and really enjoyed this! Thank you for writing!

Very sexy. "Some guys have all the luck". Me I'm not going to complain, no such offer will cum my way. I took a minute for the timeline, butt it explained its self. God I loved our mini van why they get a bad rap.........

Time jumping very interesting. Loved going back and forth to understand what was going on. Excellent work.

Enjoyable read.

no place to go no one to see, TK U MLJ LV NV

I soon realized it wasn't going to be necessary to absolutely understand the day/time headers. So I just let the story unfold. And unfold it you did; in five star manner.

I think the "slut wife" tag is misapplied. But we can't have everything, can we?

Enjoyed this one. A little different, but good.

Really had me going there. Loved the twists and turns. 5*

Very good kept me going everywhere but right way

4 stars

Why not 5

Just very very picky since I can't go higher

4.5

I will definitely put you in my writers to read list

I had to read the first 5 or 6 paragraphs several times before I could get all the names straight and recognize the time sequences. At times during dialog it was not clear who was the speaker.

The Plot device is difficult to accomplish effectively but in the end it became clear.

It might have made more sense if there were two activities occurring simultaneously but why the writer felt the need to cycle between an event on Wednesday and one on Saturday isn't obvious to me. It didn't help the flow nor clarify the dialog.

Overall I'm glad I read it and would recommend it.

When she sobers up, will Heather, thinking she's betrayed a friend, dodge Tess, or will she go after Andy for more? Good husband Andy should tell Tess to sit down with Heather and really share with one another: both of them need help or does Tess want to experience Heather's life first hand?

Is this supposed to be okay for a woman to ask of her husband, a sacrifice of the wedding vows to bolster a lonely friend's spirit? This, turned around, would be objectionable, a cuck-like thing for husband to ask of wife. She's offering this taste of him for her divorced friend! Has she lost her damn mind? They can share driving to their counseling appointments but no sharing him.

I enjoyed the writing style: natural flowing dialogue; good imagery & description.

Time shifts in plot development showed creativity and originality and drew most of us into your story.

Thank you for your efforts : )

Reading again. Still a different, but very good story.

Sorry but the story needed more effort to get the story on track. Obviously you knew in your mind who the characters were but I was confused from the start. Who were the characters and what were their relationships? An intro paragraph could have cleared it up and made for an easier understanding of the activities and relationships. Just saying!

It was well written, but I need them a little simpler. I lost the characters and the story at times. I only have it 4 stars, I am sure lots will give it 5

This story rates a well deserved 5 stars, but it is not quite good enough to be added to my favourite story list. The plot and the structure are very creative, and the ending is completely unexpected, which is all good. The downside is that the structure is difficult to follow, and I had to keep referring back to earlier sections to refresh my memory on characters and the timeline. Despite this, I enjoyed this short story, and it kept me hooked to the end, which is always a good sign. Well done!

I think your timeline could be a very creative way to Unfold a story. Unfortunately, the time line needed at least the numerical part of the date, e.g. 10th to provide the clarity essential for moving forward. After reading all the way I can see that the fact only 3 days are involved might make that not as crucial. After getting through 2.5 segments I pulled out pen and paper to capture salient points of each time period to aid my understanding. Still a little fuzzy but worked. I think this was a good idea that needs a little tweak. Super plot line and somewhat unexpected twist at the end. I know he is the good husband but really asking him to cheat/break their vows is a little much. I am sure the quilt was immense in that bedroom as noted. I rated a 4 based on my concern with the above two points. Writing was good and I obviously was vested in storyline as I read to the end. Overall very good job just a lil bit shy of great.

One other thought - the dialogue seems to have Tess advising Jen to get variety in the form of cheating. I hope not intended.

John

A well written and interesting story. The timeline could have been a little clearer (headings rather than just time and date) but much better than the usual LW fare.

LA

A good story, a little difficult to follow at times but well written and a bite different.

This is your first story I didn't like. The writing was great and I didn't have a problem with the timeline plot device. I didn't like the wife pimping out her husband, I can't get past that. This story shows a small window of time, the next chapter would be their marriage is in tatters.

This is one of the unique stories out there on lit. Hope you continue this. I especially like the connectivity between time jumps and the range of emotions the reader has to go through while navigating the assumptions.

3 stars - just your average pimping out the husband for a divorced girlfriend.

To me that is playing with fire and someone is going to get burnt.

Instead of enjoying the storyline, I had to treat it as a puzzle.

Loved it just loved it, well worth the read, loved all the characters and the plot was really good all the way through.

I loved everything about it, the twist at the end was just brilliant, I favourited it and gave a well deserved 5*

Muy buena historia, aunque dificilmente creible de que una esposa ceda por unas horas a su esposo a su amiga. Y que el esposo acepte sin mas. pero en fin estuvo bien escrita.

life is good,, an understanding wife and a horny divorcee,,,every mans dream,,

OK, I am commenting on a very old story.... What bugs me about these stories is when the husband doesn't act real. I mean if your wife suggests this wouldn't your mind jump to why? Not why the friends needs it but why me? Did my wife cheat and this is her way of letting me get even? If I do this does she then a chance in return with one of my friends? Is she just testing me?