All Comments on 'The Great Game Ch. 01'

love this! looking forward to more

This is different. Loved it. Hope to see more soon. Thanks for the long chapter.

I really enjoyed this. You have a great way of keeping the story moiving and drawing the reader in.

I rarely leave comments - but I just wanted to say that the writing (as in, the actual sentence construction/word choice etc) of this story is a cut above most of the stuff on Literotica.

Not to say that every story has to be really well-written, sometimes you can ignore bad grammar or simplistic writing, as long as it's a turn on, but it's nice to read something written by someone with a really good grasp of language, and a love of prose.

My very, very minor criticism is that some of the word choices in the sex scene were a bit strange. I'm rarely turned on by 'vulva', and I thought 'throbbing hearth' was a bit of a strange choice as well. The sex scene in general was great - just those two things took me out of it a bit.

Otherwise, really great work!

All the props to you, dear author! That was one helluva opening chapter! I have a good grasp on the plot, world, characters, and I can see we're gonna be in for some kind of ride with this one!!! So well written, and though I have a major squick with "sharing" the heroine, I think Gunner's going to put up a good fight to keep Ariel. I am also loving Ariel as a heroine. She has a quiet, graceful, strength to her that is really beautiful. Not to mention, they have steamy, super duper hot, chemistry together. I found your sex scene delicious, and I want them together, forever already. Sap that I am. Lol. I am dying to learn more about our leads, and see how they grow, as well as learn some more about the white/black coats, the other "game players," David, Elle, and the mysterious Kate. All the 5* kisses to you, for sharing what is perhaps the most original and captivating story I've read on here in a LOOONG while! Truly, this is already up in my top 5 favorites. Please don't make us wait too long to continue in this terrifying, yet intriguing, world you've so masterfully crafted. I cannot WAIT to read more!!!

All The Best!

rose/randy ariel/emily

Great sci-fi story and setting! Sort of like an R rated Hunger Games meets the Maze. Can't wait for more. :)

Beautifully done! This one goes to the top of the stack.

Agree with the other great comments. Very nice, looking forward to more!

I've been waiting for chapter 7 of born to be bred for a while (I still am) but this story has me interested, as well, to see wht happens in the next chapter I do hope u add fairly quickly:)

Excellent writing, however this seems to be another case of magic dick syndrome. It is fantasy, yes, but no woman (healthy, well adjusted woman ) is going to quietly accept being spanked then lose all will, pride, and independence just because some guy had sex with her. Not even if his dick was chocolate flavored. Most women would hand him his junk in a paper sack.

The next chapter is coming along well, and I'm aiming to submit it by tomorrow evening. Approval will likely take a few days.

Thanks so much for all your comments! I'm doing my best to keep the plot fun, somewhat fast-moving, and believable. That last one is a bit challenging, given the very odd situation I've launched my poor characters into, but it's good practice! Right now, I'm focusing on differentiating all the key players. Doms, submissives, by-any-means-necessary survivalists, and diehard rebels all have their place in this story. Enjoy!

So many questions! Can't wait to read more!

So well written. Thank you!

Excellent writing. Very interesting setting. Can't wait to read more.

Did you submit the second chapter yet?? I'm dying to read more!

don't leave us hanging... this is a truly great written story, one that could even end up in the toplist IF and only IF you give it your time to write. We're still waiting for the next chapter

I guess there isn't gonna be a chapter 2? I was really looking forward to this one, amazing idea.

This is one of the few great stories that has an interesting plotline and sexual appeal for me and I was so excited to see you said you had already submitted chapter two what happened? Will there ever be a chapter two?

Please write a chapter two!

Best most original story I've come across in a very long time. What's not new or original is another writer disappearance. If you've decided to turn it into a book, started your ascent to Mt Everest or are begging for your life from kidnappers... I really don't care! Just let all of us that truly believed you had intended to post another chapter what the hells going on. Believe me. We've heard it all before and all that matters is whether or not to realistically expect anything more so that we might move all of our hopes and expectations onto another flakey fly by night writer here on Literotica.

Good story please continue the originality!!

I think that this is a very good story.

I hope that it cuntinues.

I cannot wait to read what you have

Waiting for Ariel.

Please continue this story! It is really good! I would love to know what happens next. Does this "game" ever end? Or will she have to live the rest of her life there? Please continue!!

Dumb, Dumb, and You...