All Comments on 'The Harem of Arrakis'

Can you write a porn story incest family Johnny Cage and Sonya Blade and Cassie Cage naked from Mortal kombat? only fuck Father and wife and daughter, can you write?

Wordy, but interesting: not sure that F H would approve.

This story is a masterpiece.

This is a really great story. Not sure why it has such a low score right now. I noticed this is your first story I really wish to encourage you to keep writing.

As someone very acquainted with Frank Herberts' works I can't finish the first page. If you had placed this in the Dune universe and said it had happened hundreds of years earlier and used different names, then I would have read this and give you stars based on your work. Saying you are using the Atreides movie to Dune, giving Paul sisters (OMG it's a totally different story here), and not even giving Paul the right hair color. Pauls' description and his mother and fathers' descriptions leave no details out in the books. You just needed to use a different time and names. It's just lazy writing imo. Sorry if this is harsh I believe you can do better. If you have the courage to put yourself out there like this don't get lazy. If you rewrite this a move it to another time with a different family, let me know. I will read it, I was excited for the story until your description of Paul. His hair is black like his father's and grandfather's. I hope you make the changes.

@Newt0351, it must have really thrown you when Daniel Craig took over as James Bond! =)

Anyway, the change is intentional. This story is a retelling by design, in a tradition as old as Shakespeare (who famously stole all his plots and characters), to animated Disney movies (which retold the Brothers Grimm, who themselves retold ancient folklore, and which Disney itself is now retelling *again* with live action). Changing hair color was intended to signal that -- "be warned: this story is familiar, but also different." Sorry it didn't work for you, but this story (which it sounds like you didn't read) is built on two central ideas: the sacredness of water to the Fremen, and Paul as the Fremen chosen one. I disagree that I could retell this story in another place and time.

This was a fun litte twist on Dune, erotic too. Thank you

Purple prose.