All Comments on 'The Hot List Ch. 03'

I am enjoying reading your story but getting so frustrated waiting :)

Please keep it going.

You jumped back and forth from first person to third person POV a few times and that was confusing. I had to wonder if the term "tea time" was a joke or if you simply misspelled it. Regardless, I think you really need to keep posting. Your opening monologue was really funny. With such a good sense of humor, you need to use it in your stories. The chapters should be longer, but this is a learning process and you are picking it up quickly.

At least post this off in non-erotic where it belongs.

It is a little confusing at times figuring out who is saying what, but overall I like the story and the way you have written it. I am guessing there is more to come, so will be looking forward to the next chapter.

For some reason the rating system is not working for me. Gave it four stars in text form.

what will explode. TK U MLJ LV NV

non-erotic would be better. Very non-erotic, if possible.

I've loved all 3 chapters of this story, but this was the best so far. I love the way you write. Your brevity is amazing. You say with one or two words things that take me a fucking paragraph. I can't wait to see where you're going with this. Great job

This chapter, happily, seemed totally disconnected from the silliness of the first two.

Like what you did in this chapter, starting to get an idea who these people are and how they think - keep going.

I said "what the hell are you doing?" and she replied "sending voicemal."

I said "what the hell are you doing?" and she replied "sending voicemail."

Starting to get some interesting character development. Keep it up you have got my attention for sure

to become a "HOT LIST JUDGE". TK U MLJ LV NV

The characters are interesting and the world view different from mine!

But then again you read a good writer's story and you think you know him. Thanks for sharing.

Very well told.

5******

Good story -

Still ascared for the next few steps LOL

I still don't know why so short.

All four parts could have been combined into one.

Just how did Pam wind up behind the banana trees with Tony in the first place all alone? If he was so boring to her and was bothering her how did they both wind up in a relatively isolated area alone?

Just a thought. Just saying.

Morgan DeWolfe

Tony probably 'herded' her there by lining up so that direction was away from him and walking toward her.

A method that works on people as well as it works on cows.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

The best chapter yet. Love the soap to Tony.

Good so far. LP

Oh, goody a confrontation, always good to ad a little spice and action..................

AND?