All Comments on 'The Hunter'

A few typos but otherwise a good start. Long in some spots about the business but otherwise very engaging. Looking forward to the next part and perhaps some physical action

Good story and well done. Thank you

Good start look forward to seeing what comes next

A member of the USMC Uncle Sam's Misguided Children, cannot become a SEAL

Petty Officer Second Class is a Navy rank, not a Marine

You have written in this genre before. Very nice story, thanks. 5/5

Ready for more!!!

Did he ever open her car door and help her getting in and out of the vehicle, and if so, did she smile back at him each time? I can't remember, as it was all a blur after the eighth time it was described. Five pages to describe a job interview and screening felt excessive and I was starting to skim to get to parts where something happened. The author is a good storyteller, but he is definitely not a minimalist.

I like like your storyline and characters, and scored accordingly. These are offered as assistance, not criticism, as others offered me after my first effort.

Editing is critical - bad grammar and punctuation, and extraneous words are confusing.

Long paragraphs are difficult to read on a phone, which most of your readers are probably using.

Again, not criticism. Just ways to improve your story. Hope it goes several more chapters!

Enjoyed the story but confused how he joined the Marines and became a SEAL (Navy). Also, SEAL's routinely advance in rating (rank) relatively quickly. It seems unlikely that after multiple enlistments A SEAL would leave as only a PO2. Looking forward to next installment.

I think your story will be a good one however feel that you should seriously seek out a proof reader; there are many words that are spelled correctly but used in the wrong places: (i.e. “it” instead of “is”). Nomally I would down-score but as this is your first, it’s ok. (Possibly you are using audible-to-text software?). Please, at least reread and correct the glaring errors before submitting to lit. Now looking forward to reading the next couple of chapters and any subsequent ones.

Very enjoyable read and it looks like it is only going to get better.

Wow, how much time and effort can you put into eating,? Unless that is what the storyline is really about, with the sex thrown in as a it of a distraction.

Very good start, looking forward to more chapters. Five stars.

Too much repetition

Too many clichés

12 years and an E-5 is not even close to being realistic.

Ill give up now. Too many military discrepancies. I find it difficult to read stories with military references when the author probably never served.

Petty officer in the Marines? That’s Navy not Marines.

You made it clear he was a Marine by using Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children.

Too much pointless minutiae, commentary that sounded like an episode of Dragnet and the writing desperately needs an editor.

Couldn't even finish page 2.

Re the military stuff...you need to do better research.

Great beginning1

5