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All Comments on 'The Ice Queen'

by Bakeboss

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  • 3 Comments
JustForPostingJustForPostingover 13 years ago
Once again, a sketch

This is a layout for a story, not an actual story. It needs lots of exposition, background, interaction, whatever.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Cute

Cute, if however short. And edit your work- latter vs later.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Slow down

Breathe . . . slow down . . . punctuate occasionally.

Good premise, nice story outline, but it needs much more refinement.

Take a day or two, revisit it,and rewrite.

Anonymous
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