The Last to Know

"Mr. Ames, it's good to see you again. Thank you for seeing us. I know it's an intrusion," she was obviously the spokesman for the two of them.

"Well, since you told me I wouldn't regret it, how could I refuse? Can I get you a coffee or something?"

"Sure, coffee would be good. James takes it black, I use a bit of whitener or cream, whichever you have."

I went and poured two additional mugs of coffee and brought them out on a tray with some cookies and the whitener. Once they got their coffee going, I got right down to it, "Okay, you say you have documents and photos. What have you got that brought you to Halifax?"

Jessica opened a briefcase that contained several file folders. The first documents were their birth certificates, showing their mother as Beverley Sharon Ames and their father as John Charles Ames. Well, so far the names were correct, but I wasn't buying until they pulled out a photo of a young Bev standing beside a young me at our wedding reception.

"Mom's had the original of this on a shelf with other photos for as long as I remember. It is you and her, isn't it? You look the same, older with less hair, but the same."

"Where did you get this photo?" I was only half listening to her. Until now I'd put all those horrible memories far behind me.

"Like I said, our Mom has the original on a shelf with other photos. I scanned it to bring a copy with us." She pulled more photos out of the folder and laid them on the table in front of me. "Most of these are us growing up, graduating, that kind of thing. There's a few of the 3 of us, Mom was always involved in what we were doing."

I was stunned. These two were actually my children. I hadn't known a thing about them until this very moment. Tears were welling in my eyes as I asked, "How is it I didn't know about you two? Your mother wasn't pregnant when I last saw her so many years ago."

"Well, Mr. Ames, I mean Dad, I mean Father. Can I, we, call you Dad?" In a fog, I nodded my assent. "Mom was waiting to surprise you when, well, when she left you. I can tell you a bit about it, but not too much since most of it happened before we were born," Jessica went on to relate what she know of what had happened after I left Vancouver.

"So, your mother never remarried?"

"No, she never even had any boyfriends. She was so absolutely devastated at what she had done that it took her a long, long time to come to terms with it. We were too young to appreciate it at the time, but she spent a lot of time in therapy, learning to live with her mistake."

My voice couldn't hide my bitterness, "Yeah, she left without a note or anything. To this day I don't know why she would do such a thing. It took a long, long time for me to move on. I'm not sure I ever want to go back to remembering what used to be. I don't know that I'd ever be able to forgive her for that."

I took a deep breath, "What you haven't told me is why you came looking. Like it's not that you needed me now, you grew up without a father and seem to be doing okay."

"It's not her or us, it's James. She doesn't know we're here, or at least that we came looking for you. She thinks the two of us are just here on vacation. James has a medical condition that will kill him unless he receives a transplant. The thing is, it should be from a male family member."

"And I'm it?"

"Yes. I know we don't have any right to ask that of you, but it's James' only hope."

"James, you haven't said anything. Does she usually do all the talking for you?"

"Yessir, ever since we both learned how to talk, she's never stopped," he gave a small grin. "I know, as Jess says, that we really have no right to ask, but you're our, my, last hope. No other treatments have worked, and we've tried everything since we didn't know who or where our father was until just recently."

"So just what is it you have? And why just you and not both of you if you're twins?"

"That's a fair enough question," he replied. "Apparently it's something that only males can develop, or predominantly males anyway. The actual word is about 10 syllables long, but it basically boils down to me needing a liver transplant since my liver is failing, and it should be from a male family member. So, Jessica managed to track you down. It took quite awhile, nobody expected you'd be on the East Coast, even that lady that used to work for you, the PA."

"You mean Patricia?"

"Yes, that's right. She goes by Pat. Anyway, she told us that you never did get in touch with her despite saying you would. I think she even called a lawyer you used to use, and even he didn't have any idea where you were."

"I don't really need to explain, but well, after that, that happened, I just wanted to leave that life and everything that happened behind. I'd succeeded fairly well, too, until yesterday when you two showed up." I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was, and had been all this time, a father. "So after all these years out of my life, you just show up hoping I'd donate an organ? Sorry, that's a bit blunt, but look at it from my point of view. Until a few minutes ago I never knew you existed."

"Yes, I, I mean we, appreciate that. It's a lot to ask. Mom doesn't know why we've come here. She doesn't know we found you."

"Okay, as a working hypothesis, if, and I mean a big if, I agree to this, where is this transplant supposed to take place? And what makes you think I'll even qualify? Like, I've never been tested or treated for this stuff."

"Okay, first. We've been working with St. Paul's Hospital in Vancouver. If it goes ahead, and we really do understand your reluctance, we're hoping it would be there."

I interrupted, "No way, not in Vancouver. I'm never, ever setting foot back there again, and you can take that to the bank."

"We thought you might say that so we had them contact a hospital here in Halifax. As for testing and treatment, since you're a related male, the only tests required would be to confirm that, and that your liver function is adequate. Then it's just a matter of arranging hospital time and dates." Jessica had this all figured out except for one thing, I hadn't yet agreed to anything so radical. It's not like someone my age just gives up part of a liver, or any other organ, just because we're asked.

We sat in silence for quite a few minutes. Of course my mind was swirling in a hundred different directions. I wasn't all that sure that James and Jessica knew exactly what they were asking, or the implications as far as it related to my future well-being.

I broke the silence, "Look, this is a bit much to digest all at once. I'm going to need time to think this over."

"Of course, we understand Dad. It's sudden and it's a big, huge favour to ask from someone we've just met, and who doesn't know us. We'll leave you to sort it out. We'll be at the Bayview for a couple more days. Maybe do some sightseeing while we're here, since that's why Mom thinks we're here."

She picked up their birth certificates and a few other documents, but left the photos. Bev had been and still was a good looking woman. She'd aged well, better than I had. I assured James and Jessica that I'd be in touch in the next day or so. I needed to talk this over with someone, someone whose judgement I trusted, and wouldn't be tainted by emotion.

I found myself back at my favourite pub. Gail was working, as was another server, but it wasn't all that busy.

"Jack, you're here on a Saturday? Are you okay?" she joked.

"Well, sort of," I replied in a subdued tone. "Gail, I need to talk to someone, someone I can trust. When do you get your break?"

"You're not okay, are you? Why me?" she asked.

"'Cause I can trust you to be objective. You're a people person. I need someone I trust to listen and give me a pointer on how to handle this."

"Okay Jack. I'll let the boss know I'm taking my break early. Why don't you go sit in that booth over there," she pointed to a quiet booth in the far corner, "where we won't be interrupted. You've got me curious and worried now."

"Oh, it's nothing for you to worry about, honest. I just want, no need, your opinion."

"Okay, go sit down. I'll be there in a moment." She went in back to let the boss know her change of plans. Gail is one of the few people I really trust. Her husband is in the Navy, but she made it well known to anybody who tried anything that she was a one man woman. She wouldn't fool around on her husband during his long deployments. That was one of the reasons I valued her opinion. I had a respect for her that I had for very few people.

She joined me in the booth, bringing coffees instead of the usual beer. I related the story as I knew it to that point, including the fact that Bev didn't know the real reason the kids had travelled down here.

"...so there you have it. I just want your opinion on being a donor. I'm torn between saying no since I don't know them from a hole in the wall to yes because he's my own flesh and blood. I just don't know, Gail, I just don't."

"Well, I don't know that I can give you a totally objective opinion. Simply put, I think of you as a friend. In all the years you've come in here you've never put a move on me or tried to pick me up or anything. You're one of the few who treat me like a real person. But, looking at it from your son's point of view, I can see why they're here. You're his last hope for a fairly normal life."

"So you think I should agree?"

"I didn't say that, I just think that they've run out of choices."

"So, it's me or maybe a machine or even death, is that what you mean?"

"Exactly. What I think is that you should spend a few days with them before deciding. Go sightseeing; show them around as if they're just visitors to the city, which they are. That will give you a chance to get to know them, to see if you even want to consider going ahead. The worst that could happen is that you get to see parts of the city again that you probably haven't seen for awhile."

"God, I'm glad I came and talked to you. I hadn't thought of that at all, and they did mention doing some sightseeing. Thank you Gail, you are a true friend."

"You're more than welcome Jack. Happy to help. Now, I've got to get back to work."

"Oh no, I'm sorry. I talked all through your dinner break."

"Not really. I usually just grab a coffee and put my feet up. I eat when I get home. Jack, I'm glad I could help, really. Now, go sightseeing."

"I'll call them in the morning. Thanks Gail. Goodnight." I left the pub feeling better than I had for quite a few hours. As Gail had said, if nothing else I'd get to visit my city again.

Chapter 4

I called the hotel early the next morning, hoping that Jessica and James hadn't already left on their adventures. I offered to show them around the various sights, and maybe visit a few places that most tourists didn't get to see. I called my boss at home saying it was a family emergency. He said he'd arrange for a substitute for a few days. Well, it might be only a few right now, but maybe more later; I'd know within those few days.

It was fun being a tour guide. I'd forgotten, or at least taken for granted, how much the city had to offer visitors. For 3 days we were on the go from almost dawn to well after dusk. I found that James tired easily, and our pace was more or less dictated by his ability to keep up. I know that in a few places, he was happy to have the wheelchair provided so Jessica or I could push him around.

I found myself warming to these two young, genuine people. There were no airs, no pretensions; just two young, funny genuine people who were happy to have me as a tour guide through this wonderful city. Despite my initial misgivings, I found myself thoroughly enjoying being with them and showing the sites. They frankly admitted that they knew virtually nothing about the East Coast of Canada, other than the little information passed on in history and geography classes. True to my word, I got them into some places that the usual tourist would never see, and avoided some of the worst tourist traps.

Finally, it had to end. Their time was up, and I had to go back to classes for another month. I had decided, even before the last day, that if I qualified, I would be a donor for James. However, I didn't tell them until our last night together at dinner. When I made my surprise announcement, it was met with a stunned silence. They truly hadn't expected me to make a decision so soon.

"Okay. Now here's how it is. I'm quite willing to be a donor for James if all the tests are okay and the powers that be, whoever they are, decide it can be done. However, there are a couple of stipulations. Agreed?" I would donate, but it would be on my terms.

They nodded, so I continued, "First, it's between the 3 of us, nobody else, including your mother. She is not to know where I am or what I'm doing. You'll probably have to tell her that I'm the donor, but that's all she needs to know. Second, it must take place in early July. That will give me most of the summer to recover. I don't have any idea what the timeframe is, so you'll have to get the clinic to clue me in. Third, the first two conditions are non-negotiable. This is between the 3 of us and the hospital. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, else. Do we understand each other?"

Seven kinds of emotions danced across their faces before Jessica came to my side of the table and gave me a huge hug. James reached across and took my hand in both of his. They were too overcome to speak for a couple of minutes.

Finally Jessica said, "Well, you know how to make a memorable evening. I, we, can't even begin to thank you. We know you've thought a lot about it, so I won't ask if you really mean what you say. As for the rest, well, we'll work it out somehow. I'll call the clinic in Vancouver tomorrow so they can get the ball rolling here. Can I give them your work number as well as home?"

"Sure, and I'll make sure you have my cell too. They can always get hold of me on it."

We finished dinner and, since they had an early flight, we made an early night of it. I was both glad and sad to see them go, but knew I'd be talking to them often over the next few weeks. If everything went according to plan, I'd see them again in early July, about 6 weeks from now.

I returned to my home and prepared for classes the next day. My students would be taking their certification exams over the next weeks and I was certain there would be a lot of last minute questions. At noon the next day I was just starting my lunch break when my cell warbled an incoming call. It was the transplant clinic; would I be available for initial screening on Friday? I set up a time and arranged for a substitute instructor to take my class for a couple of hours.

Other than taking a lot of time, like hurry up and wait, the initial testing didn't amount to much; mostly taking numerous vials of blood and pissing in the bottle. If these were good, the next batch would be more thorough. I was able to arrange that any further testing would be done in late afternoon so as not to be too disruptive for my students. I was also able to emphasise to the nurse, very young, very pretty and very officious, that my students took precedence, especially since it was nearing year end.

Over the next few weeks I gave more blood than a vampire, pissed in more bottles than I knew existed and had more interviews than I thought necessary. In the end, I was deemed suitable and now it was up to the hospital to schedule the surgeries. As I told Jessica and James, it had to be early July so I would have the whole summer to recover. During all this time I was getting constant phone calls, text messages and emails from James and Jessica, filling me in on what was happening on the West Coast. Finally I got word that the surgeries, since both James and I had to be done at the same time, were scheduled for July 4. They actually arranged for his surgeon to fly to Halifax to do the actual transplant.

The next thing was accommodation. James would be in hospital for at least a month, probably more and me anywhere up to a month, depending on how well and how fast I healed. I decided to offer my home to Jessica since she would be coming in daily to support James, and for that matter, me, post surgery. She readily accepted, stating that she really hadn't looked forward to living in a hotel for that length of time, especially at the height of tourist season. I had the room, so why not?

They arrived late on the afternoon of July 2nd and were on their way to the hospital early the next afternoon. With some trepidation I entered the hospital in the early evening. James and Jessica were already there and waiting for me since his preparations took longer. They had told me early evening, so early evening it was when I showed up.

They must have an express lane for organ donors since as soon as I told the admitting desk why I was there they couldn't do enough for me. I had my own personal escort to take me to my ward where she sat with me until one of the nurses came in and told her they, meaning the medical staff, would take it from there. I wasn't allowed anything to eat or drink, however I was allowed to suck on ice cubes for my dry throat. Eventually I fell into a restless sleep. A nurse woke me up at some ungodly hour to prep me for surgery, then the gas passer came in to tell me what to expect. The last person I saw before going into surgery was the actual surgeon. He explained, again, exactly what was going to happen, and asked if I had any questions. When I asked why this stuff always takes place at the crack of dawn, he and the nurses laughed and I relaxed a bit. I would be fine.

* * * *

I have no idea what time it was when I regained consciousness. My side hurt abominably and my throat felt dry and raw. It took a few moments to realize where I was, and why I was there. A nurse must have been either sitting with me, or very nearby since she was there almost as soon as I awoke.

"Mr. Ames, welcome back. The surgery went well and you're both recovering. James isn't awake yet. Can I get you anything?"

I'm paraphrasing since I have no idea exactly what she said, only the 'went well' part took hold in my conscience. I must have gone back to sleep. The next time I awoke it was dark. The same nurse must have been waiting for me to regain consciousness again since she was there as soon as I opened my eyes. Now I realized why my throat felt dry and raw; there was a tube stuck down it. That sort of inhibited talking so my responses were limited to nods or shakes of my head. She made some notes on the ubiquitous chart, adjusted something on the IV attached to my arm, and I was asleep again.

The next time I awoke, it was still dark, but that damned tube had been removed from my throat. A different nurse was there now, and she made similar comments as to welcome back, etc. I was able to get her to give me a sip of cold water. It felt like heaven going down my sore throat. Of course, my side and back hurt from where they had removed a piece of my liver; I was just beginning to appreciate why exactly I was in a hospital. The nurse assured me that rest was the best thing for my recovery. The surgeon would be in some time in the morning to see me, and the staff would be happy to give me any help I needed. It would be a few hours before I knew exactly what that would entail. I had no experience with bedpans and the like, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

It was about the 4th day since the operation when Jessica came to see me. Oh, she'd been there before, quite a few times, but I wasn't aware enough to realize it. She again expressed her and James' gratitude for donating a piece of my liver. We talked of many mundane things over the ensuing days. She had given my home a thorough cleaning, sort of as therapy to take her mind off of what was going on in the hospital. She had met my partners and told them what was going on and why she was in the house. In all the confusion, I hadn't mentioned it to them for the simple reason I hadn't seen them for what seemed like months. They would make a point of coming to visit before I was sent home. I could tell Jessica was holding something back, but I wasn't in any shape to press the issue. Anyway, whatever it was, there was nothing I could do about it.