All Comments on 'The Magical Labyrinth'

This story is so thought provoking that it's going to take more than a few reads to really comprehend the immensity it portrays. It's both hard science presented very well and an amazing fantasy as well. Though I should be cautious with the fantasy label since most advanced science really appears magical to those that aren't yet at that level of scientific thought.

I really liked the characters down to earth interactions, and their personalities really are complimentary.

All in all, this story deserves my top story rating!

Kydreamer

Fascinating story. It took two nights to read, but I had no idea where it was heading until it got there. Your imagination and story development was - well it was intriguing. I'm not sure where you obtained all the technical knowledge you explore in the story, but it is definitely thought provoking. Good job!

- Ron -

Took me a while to completely read the story, but I thought it was great - particularily the intellectual aspects - alot of interesting stuff in there.

Any consideration to continuing on this story?

You still have a few things to work out, but you are very close to the truth here.

the only part i didn't care for was giving them super powers.

it would be much more interesting if they had less control, than they have.

well written!

On page six when she gets him to explore her insides you apear to not understand the inside of femal anatomy. it is only posible to get to the felopian tubes by first geting through the cirvix. the vagina is just a chanel to the cervix this acts as a entrance to the womb, and then the felopian tubes... further more the chanel is 6 or more inches deep before reaching the cirvix so he wouldnt have been able to get further enough in...

still inacuracies aside great story

Just amazing, I am in awe of your writing ability. You must get published!

I have read each of your offerings. I admire both your expression of your ideas and the cleverness of you plots and the tie in to the exponential scope of the human spirit. I look forward to your further efforts.

loved it!

Your description of the manipulation of the Internet in Chapter 9 almost ruined the story for me. Data transmission uses phase and time modulation. Your description of the alien changes to the transmission or routing (routing of individual packets info is lost at the latest network router) would be interpreted as errored bits and lost at the next retransmission node. A better approach would be to have the aliens make subtle changes to critical files stored on the root level name servers. The way Robert would detect the changes is to compare supposedly identical files between the servers. And there being 13 name servers, a prime number, fits with a theme of your stories.

Loved it!!!! It's so hard to find sexy fiction that is respectful of God and basic human dignity! Bravo!!

What is your original culture? You use some unique phrasing, that is absolutely understandable, but yet not of US linguistic style

Eg: pet: that is usually what teenagers do before serious sexual activity, It includes kissing, feeling legs arms, breasts, You use fur to refer to pubic hair; that's not US either.

I do love your stories and novellas. Please continue. I am no physicist, nor math major, but your explanations have made it easy for me to follow the story line. Thank you for another enjoyable evening.

Look forward to more of your stories..

Please continue writing..

You are a genius! I love your creativity!

... *dead* ...

I didn't realize that Dr. Sheldon Cooper wrote erotica. Not bad though...

Been reading your stories and I think they're really fascinating. The stop here is abrupt, with no indication of ending, either temporary or final. I'm not sure about the ideal of love spanning different cultures/times, considering it's a very subjective concept based on personal experiences and societal norms, but I appreciate the kindness implied in the underlying drives of your key characters. Please continue this story with a sequel, even if only to wrap it up. I like the preacher storyline and backscatter the most so far.

let me begin with saying: great story.

I myself am no writer however to me it seems you wrote yourself in to a corner by making them more or less omnipotent. I suggest that if you ever decide to continue or re-edit this story that you change the ending a bit.

If instead of being transported to a actual place it was some kind of digital alien mainframe (which they can now control using their minds). They will still be able to speak with their minds and go to their "happy place" but without their reality changing demi god status. That way there is more room for a different ending or maybe a sequel where the aliens find out what happened and come to investigate or something.

I know by reading Kinetic that you do the whole omnipotent thing quite well but i think in this story it is a bit overpowered. If someone would die the one of them could just will him/her/them back to life. this would take all the tension out of the story and by leaving them mortal you don't have this issue.

greetings, Bonvoisin

Couldn't have read if I wanted to. Try googling how NOT to start a story--anything that starts with "ring ring" is an automatic fail. And the dialogue is trite and repetitive. I clicked on this by accident, and legit thought is was a joke story--like it was bad on purpose. Do yourself a favor and take a course in creative writing, composition, ANYTHING.