All Comments on 'The Neighborhood Ch. 02'

To be continued?...ummm, hopefully not. What the hell happened? You skipped EVERYTHING. Mark's first sex with Vivian, Mark's first sex with Kay, Mark and Spencer's first time DP'ing Kay, and if I read the phrase "Spencer was ok" right, then you also skipped Spencer's first sex with Vivian. Oh, and speaking of sex with Vivian, the first and only detailed scene of vaginal sex between Mark and Vivian happens on the last page, where Vivian is referred to as Monica right when after her son plunges his dick inside - a nice touch. Oh, and what was up with Monica and Naureen? Talk about random. Finally, the ending with the nice, naked, black man showing up at Vivian's house, and in her bedroom was just hilarious. This story started out great, but all of that potential was completely wasted. The story would have been much better had you just picked up where you left off as Vivian was lowering herself onto Mark for the first time. Also, the changes in point of view of the first chapter didn't bother me that much, and I prefer the 1st person over the 3rd person anyways; it makes things more personal. Sorry for ranting, but the story could have been so much better and made alot more sense than it did.

once again..a so-called family fun post.. but omitting dad/hubby..same-old..same-old..nothing more sex charged than mom/dad/son together...in hottttt family fun..with dad/jock stud son tag teaming mom...and yes..at mom's urging for her major turn-on..dad/son getting into hot family bi...that's what women/moms like my myself..and bi couples...want to read and turn-on to...not the same-old same old..

In the last part Monica was called Mark's mom. I didn't like the idea of an officer of the law that would allow two under 21 years of age girls to give them blow jobs at the road side. I think it was just the idea of those little naive sluts being used by strangers, and then drag one of them back to the family was beyond good smut. The same with the mother fucking the delivery driver. That took all of her simple love for her son and made her a slut whore.

It was a good story up until that part. Mark has a slut and most likely crack whore for a sister,if she keeps hanging around with her new friend, and a whore for a mom. At least that is what the story made them to be.

That was some turn of events. It was good till the cop part and the girls bringing their (new) big dick home without asking...Well I hate to be like this but I won't be back to finish the story, because of that.....

Dont stop its going good

Does a nice second chapter with Mark having sex with his mother, sister, Nancy, Monica and the next-door neighbor. I can hardly wait to see which you do with the next chapter.

At the beginning of this chapter, you have it set just a week after the events of the first chapter yet Vivian has gone from 36 to 38 years old and Mark from 18 to 19 years old. Now maybe the twins had A birthday during that time but their mother couldn't have had two. For a reposting that's supposed to correct things, this is pretty sloppy to make errors like this and this is just the beginning!

You apparently didn't bother to reread your first chapter before you reposted this drek. How else do 18 year old twins in the summer before their senior year of high school go to Mark being 19 and Kim now being his 18 year old kid sister who's now graduated and looking to go to college all in the span of a week in the stories settings. Quite a lot of time bending going on or more truthfully just piss poor proofreading and storytelling for a piece that's supposed to be a corrected repost. I'd hate to see what an uncorrected version was.

I'm getting of every white guy big dick story adding a bigger dick black guy I mean come on it's hot that you got this white guy with big and all the girls are going nuts over him because of it but then you through in a black with a 12 inch cock and Mark becomes the cuckold its just stupid

are the girl going to crave 10 inchs or 12 get real only a stupid person would think a pussy could be satisfied by a smaller dick after that Mark is no longer the hero in the story after that .

I may have given you a 5/5 score for this, but I am a little bit annoyed with in added the 12" black cock I'd rather the 10" brother's cock as the main hero here, also on the last page you were writing about mark and mom and then put Monica in the middle of this bit of fucking then back to mom I suggest you should proof read your writing before publication or the proof readers who do the proof reading if so employed other than that no worries mate!!!.

I agree with the other commenters re the inclusion of the black cop. I didn't think it was necessary to bring in to the bedroom with the mom and Mark. This category is for those whose interest is incest. Bringing a 12" black cock to the story should move it over to the inter-racial category. Just saying.

That is what you get with going directly from anal to vaginal without cleaning first. You would think a grown woman with experience would know this and insist he clean his dick off or clean it herself(that would be hot). Just saying.

bringing in an outsider like the big policeman.

At one point in the last act, Vivian disappeared and it was Monica in her place. Then just as quickly, it was Vivian again. I think you'd better go back and fix that. As for the rest, it is very entertaining.

Bob and Spencer ruined chapter one now the cop and delivery man. Lame. Way to wreck a decent tale wi th a bunch of unnecessary cocks.

I know this is an old story and U had a great story going on between the 2 families then u bring in a bigger dick then the son to make him a second place citizen--Mom wanted to keep the family situation quiet and it was a great story between the 2 families then u bring the outsider in basically saying u dont need the son no more because u got the cop swinging his tool around.

that doesn't mean he knows one fucking thing about medicine. In fact, a pre-med student will spend their entire four years of undergraduate studies studying everything BUT medicine. The closest thing to anything remotely medical would be anatomy, but that's like studying geography as an undergrad, as preparation for graduate work in geology!

Pre-med course work is heavy in chemistry, human biology/physiology, psychology, etc.

Attributing any sort of medical knowledge to a first year pre-med student gives your otherwise decent story a high stupidity factor. It's about as dumb as having a black character who doesn't eat pussy. Oh, no, excuse me, THAT isn't dumb, THAT is a racist stereotype.

Mark having medical knowledge because he's pre-med, would be like making all the cars be flying cars. It adds nothing to the story, is a distraction because your readers are asking themselves, 'flying cars? why?'.

You could add some character depth to the story by relating something a pre-med might learn in anatomy, like some statistic about boob size, or something about cum volume, or the female orgasm, which might be learned in physiology.

Fifteen minutes of research would have fixed the 'pre-meds don't study medicine, they prepare to study medicine' problem and another 15-20 minutes Googlin' would provide something interesting which could be actually learned as a pre-med, and would improve the depth of your story, as well.

Not a bad return for 30 minutes of time.

GeoD

Your just adding characters in the mix making it boring as fuck. Add a Dick add a cunt, the story has become boring.

And it just gets worse. Another one star. :(

Vivian and Kim should have only been with Mark. Also didn't need to add the cops

Didn't like adding the cop

FFS, fuck the scene with the cop. And then they bring him home!?!? I’m done. Started out so strong. Damn shame, but you have fucked this up.

The delivery man & the cop destroy the story! Either one is enough to ruin the story in my opinion! Both is terrible! Far as I'm concerned the cop ought to be shot! I've always been a "back the the blue" guy until recent years. There's absolutely nothing that pisses me off worse than a bully in a position of authority! I've been pulled over 5 times in the last 5 years in traffic stops, where the cop blatantly lied to me, and my tolerance for this kind of shit is nonexistent!