All Comments on 'The Office Team-Building Day'

Really good story, but it really took me out of it when the narrator describes what seems to be 2-3 minutes of ejaculation, apparently with increasing volume as he goes. That's way over the top and completely unrealistic.

By going overboard on the cumshot (cum-smorgasbord?), you kinda ruin what should be the climax of the sex scene. Not to mention the climax of the reader. ;)

I'm guessing Carmen decided to join him in the sauna after all, watched the two others get royally fucked and is now working out how best to use this information to her own advantage.

A very hot story please continue this as a series.

I really, really enjoyed this story. Enough plot but with enough details to be interesting to read while still extremely hot. The only thing I would say is an agreement with a previous commenter - the cum shot was excessive. I love a good cum shot as much as the next person, in fact, I love an exaggerated cum shot but this was just way over the top. While getting off I found myself laughing which isn't always a bad thing but in this case it was just incredulous laughter. On the whole fantastic story but maybe limit the climax in future.

Thanks for the feedback and constructive criticism, everyone. In retrospect, the exaggerated cumshot is over the top and comical (found myself laughing upon re-reading)--not to mention unnecessary. I'll tone it down on future stories.

More stories on the way...

shutting off the flow?! the amount of come. belongs in sci fiction.

Semen DOES NOT COME FROM THE TESTICLES!! 98% comes from the PROSTATE!! Your nuts contribute 1%.

This was more of one of the porn flicks.. the realism went out fully somewhere mid way itself.

you are an excellent writer...

....when you include the lines...

"I love my husband with all my heart," said Nat. "But look at that magnificent cock!"

""I love my husband with all my heart...", and yet is willing to place that relationship at risk, just to experience that monster member.

I'm all for writing about open marriages or explicit agreements between spouses that make allowances for extra-marital flings like this, but you might want to include some mention of that spousal agreement, just to make the story of the fling a little more enjoyable.

Just a thought.

to know a little bit about the characters.

loving the build up to a hot series

Taught is the past tense of teach. You meant taut every time. I started to tire of the whole story about then too.

First, work on spelling, grammar and proof read. I'm far from a spelling nazi but there are so many errors as to be very distracting.

Sci-Fi porn, agree with the other critical comments. People who can't write something unique use the "Big-Cock" crutch to make it erotic. But this one is even worse as this magic cock can cum for minutes and control it's flow?? OMFG. And the comments about the infidelity are spot on. I'm fine with open marriages but just fucking around because is a huge turn off. The amount of destruction these decisions cause on a daily basis is staggering. This is a piece of crap.

the sex scenes are exciting but the whole plot is unrealistic eg taking out spurting cock and continue to fuck another pussy, hope you will improve

perhaps not realistic-how many stories on here are?-but still very very hot-likable characters...Sarah and Nat seem to glide into their 1st g/g easily, and curious about the shadow he saw just before falling asleep-Carmen wanting to get into the fun...? H did say she was very hot and 'older', at 35. I did notice/think that every chapter in this lengthy story got an H, and that there's a lengthy follow-up.

Awesomeness. Great read

10 Big Blazing Stars, Very Hot Hot Hot Story. Describing these two Hot Busty beauties makes me long for my Busty GFs of the past. Oh, man, nothing can compare to a short Busty woman as being sexy to me. Regardless, this was a very hot story. It also increases the "angst" of hubbies that read it whose wives go to these things! LOL Excellent read, pretty good writing and Great Effort on the writers part. thks, Buster2U

PS ignore the hateful remarks and delete them. I love deleting ones hateful to me!