All Comments on 'The Perfect Crime Pt. 02: The Payback'

Entirely too complicated, convoluted and beyond believable. Stop while you're behind.

Thanks for fixing the posting error, this reminds me of another prostitute wife story I read recently,

She says that "he doesn't own me" and you are ok with it? From what I know and discovered I would have just left and let them pay the bill.

lets burn the bitch and her buddy Marcus real bad and end up with all the money

You have an interesting, if a little far fletched, plot here, but you don’t really give us enough to get really hooked on with these short segments.

Seems to be dragging on.

It's not believable this currency trader woman would be doing semi public gang bangs for cash.

Just send in the cops. It's not like they are trying to hide it.

He just found out his wife is the champion of sluts and he's going to the laundry?

She got three STD's and he got nothing?

Spelling:

Dumb not dumd. Sue not suite.

Why would Americans have Argentinian passports? Were they assuming false Argentinian identities or are you under the impression an American would need an Argentinian passport to go to Argentina? Same question for all the other passports and what would be the point in all the passports? Might keep the CIA from finding them but it's overkill to hide from a spouse.

25 million? Maybe if she's an embezzler.

Why involve Pete? Just move the 25 mil, don't touch the cash in the house, wipe his prints etc off her secret stash, disappear, move to the paradise of his choice and live like a king. Last thing he needs is someone who can testify he had caught his wife.

How many $800 ass fuckings does it take to save up $25 Million? How much proof of infidelity does he need? This whole exercise is so stupid it makes my head hurt.

Interesting story, but part 2 of 7 is one page! I know you were in the hospital, but please combine separate chapters into 1 or big chapters

For the read. Looking forward to Pt. 03.

Why can't you upload it all at once?? Right pain in the arse just getting little tasters. Spoiling what is otherwise a very good story.

This is more non erotic or something else. Doesn't read like LW yet except for him being married and knows she had some side business as a whore.

Something inside me died. I took $10000 out of her box, placed the rest of everything back in the box, and put the box back in the linen closet. There was a small chance of her missing it, as there was more than $175000 in the box. I put the t/p back, and the towels and cleaning supplies. I got up and went downstairs and called Pete. "I got a job for you, but it's personal." "No problem, boss. Where and when do you want to meet?" Denny's, in a half-hour." "O.K., see you then." I hung up and picked up a t-shirt to wear. Out the door, and me and my Bronco were cruising to Denny's.

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If you intend to drag this story out, try to avoid having dialog from two separate characters contained within the same paragraph. Even if you don't intend to drag the story out, avoid this juvenile practice.

I am good with the length, given the illness.

Actually, the first part was difficult to read, but this was fine.

5*

Looking forward to the next chapters and see how this tale unfolds.

Sorry about the illness - wishing you well and thanks for writing!

Stupid, shy plan on revenge - she is going to dump him in the equivalent of a third world county penniless

Wait for her to leave and steal all her cash so they are both stranded there

Way too Inconsistent! He photographed her ledgers and money but didn't photograph her fucking multiple men in the club? He caught his wife coming out of a motel room with another man then gets distracted by a case and forgets to put his private detective on her?

As edited so poorly. This chapter fails to satisfy as it is too cucky-this woman needs to burn hard and your just not getting there

Hubby could not manage a lemonade stand. After five years, he is the senior partner in a law firm? The other two partners must be Curly and Moe!

3* and dropping.

Either this is a parody of an LW story or the Bear has jumped the shark. Too far over the top for me to care what happens anyone.

Why wait to take all her cash, and ledgers? She can’t complain to police without explaining why she had $175K hidden in the house. Plus, the ledgers in her handwriting is evidence of her prostitution.

So take the cash and ledgers, then run the Seal Team, then transfer the money out of the Swiss account to his own offshore account. Then divorce her.

Really this is way out their in fantasy world.

Ok, the plot basically is believable, wife cheats on husband. When he finds her hidden accounts worth $25 million, with no explanation other than she fucks working stiffs in a dive bar every Friday night, well! The round the world flights and acquiring 6 or 7 sets of fake passports accomplishes what? Stick to the facts she's a whore, she's a cheat, and he found her secret stash of $800 under the toilet paper.

Enjoying it. Yes, parts are a bit far out, so what, it's fiction. On to the next part.

one must endure the ramifications to the bitter end. TK U MLJ LV NV

Intriguing enough to continue

BTB another 5

hey, ignor the critics, Im pushing 80 got Ds in english but you right good stories, oh and I'm lousy on punctuation to so listen to me I know what I'm talking about, its a good story. 5

It has the makingof a good story.

It would have helped a lot if you'd had it proof read.; leaving out conjunctions. Also you have run paragraphs. Reverse words such as, "went he" which should be "he went".

Please don't pull the age card as an excuse.

Really, just have a friend proof if for you. It would read cleaner and be a better story for it.

I know it’s a story but it’s just so little boy,s time reading, just to silly

Maybe two dozen camel spiders.

This is a great story. The author decides how long or short a part should be. Good description of the angst felt by MC. Waiting for the crime now

Confused. Why do so many of these male writers provide such a detailed description of the cheaters attire? I'd bet that the vast majority could not care less about what she is wearing.

The Radisson reveal would have been enough to file but porn job would have. Should have, put paid to her. Serve her and be done. Having her ledgers content would have brought in the IRS and FBI for income tax evasion. In the divorce she gets zip because she admits to criminal conspiracy to defraud before the marriage.