All Comments on 'The Rescue Pt. 06'

Thoroughly enjoyed this story.Any chance there may be a follow up saying what happens next.Does Grayson get home ? Do he and Michelle have a life together ? Does Trent come back to haunt them ?Just cries out for more.Please think about it !!

One of the best I've read..

Great characters too. Definitely would like to see more stories with these people. Thanks.

I have read stories on this site for years. This is one of , if not the, best story I have read on here. Outstanding work!

A VERY good story! and I hope that there will be more of these people included in the coming tales. Perhaps a Part 07?......

I agree with everything these posters have said!

And please don't wait to long.

Because in a few weeks time Michelle won't be feeling so good. Especially in the morning.

Great story well told. Keep it going.

You are a great writer, one of the best stories I have ever read on Literotica!

I look forward to a continuation and other stories you may write!

Echoing the other comments. Great story...nicely done etc. Can't wait to read what's next.

Talk about loose endings! I wanna read about what happens afterwards....not to mention the party when he gets back. I also want to hear more about what the gunnery sergeant is going to do.

BTW, you would have gotten 5* except for the way you left us in a cliffhanger ! 4* for you!

You chose a good way to end the outer story without closing out the inner stories. I'd definitely enjoy more with these characters... and there's potentially a lot of different stories in there. Grayson and his SEAL team - what made them tick? Alex no doubt has a lot of story mileage left. Even Michelle from "the mistake" kiss until she was rescued- her time in Australia until getting abandoned and captured in Africa. But you'd need a lot of comedy to write an Addison story - she's too clueless for it to not be comedy.

Five stars from me too. It's in the wrong category, though -- if this isn't romance, I don't know what is!

You may have wrapped your story up, however, I and, as I've seen here, others are left hungry for more.

There are still loose ends and the story keeps us glued to it every chance we get.

Please more 😌

This can't end until you wrap up the loose ends! Ken/Michelle...Alex/Addison...and how things turned out for that SOB Trent...one more Chapter!

Thanks for all the positive comments, for reading and voting.

I have more in store for this cast. At least 2 more stories (3 if you count the one that spawned this one) planned. I'm finishing up a different story at the moment then I'll dive back in

Good story, well rounded characters, and a lot of fun to read. The only critique I have is you really need some kind of break between the scenes. Just some Mark that lets us know that we're changing scenes. There were a few points where you lost your immersion with the story because you had to reread Parts due to the scene changing and not realizing it right away.

FBI employees are Agents. I think that means Agent Trent was misrepresenting his position at the embassy. CIA field employees are Officers.

Or at least take what they say with a grain of salt. There's a reason you are scoring

4.7+ stars. Thank you for your work. Looking forward to reading more of it in the future.

Yes I would like to see more of this cast.

I thoroughly enjoyed your tale. I give the story line a 5-minus.

Unfortunately, the mechanics of your writing are terrible, a 1-plus or 2-minus. There are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of errors and passages begging for improvement. I frequently had to stop and figure out what you intended to write, because what you actually wrote made no sense. It’s a crying shame — your ideas are so good and the volunteer editors here are free. It’s a no-brainer. Do it.

And keep writing.

Barry

Please ignore the posters who point out the mistakes you make in your writing. Time and practice will polish those out. The thing you've got that can't be taught is the ability to tell a compelling story that is impossible to put down populated by characters that absolutely come alive on the page. Thanks for a very enjoyable read and please keep writing.

Can this be re-categorized to Romance for more reviews?

And yes, please web a spin for the other characters and an epilogue for Ken and Michelle..

Keep writing about these characters. Yacine's story was left hanging. Let someone else take care of the grammar and spelling. There are too few writers on literotica that can spin a good yarn. You are one of them.

Well told tale. Had me enthralled from start to finish.

Keep writing thank you

I relay enjoyed this story. I love military/love stories and you delivered both. I stumbled across this one and I will keep an eye out for more of your works.

Thank You.....5*****

youve got good stuff.

all the pluses A+++

good stuff

see u again

soon i hope

Good story with action and romance.

Definitely needs to keep going.

An excellent cast of characters and equally great story.

You’re one of the handful of authors on this site I’d pay to read..

Great job!

Looking forward to more of these folks in future stories. Note that was plural stories. Many Bravos on this one.

Your stories need to go in Kindle. With a little editing and better proofing you could do well.

Keep writing!

disappointed where you ended it no epilog no home coming? But wow, I'm currently reading your other story and I can not say enough good things about either one of them. KEEP THEM COMING. IF TURN PRO LET US KNOW

Another awesome story, but don’t leave it hanging there!! PLEASE.....

This ending sucks it doesnt seem finished at all i loved this story and this ending killed it for me please add more

I most certainly would like to see this cast of characters again! Preferably with the complete stories for the flashbacks about Scott & more backstory on T.J. & their other team mate

I like your writing however I feel that at least more chapter to provide closure or a continuation of the plot back in the States. Just my humble opinion.

Was very sorry to hear of the loss of your family member. I can only hope that you enjoy writing as much as your readers enjoy reading your work — and that it may provide some comfort.

While waiting for the next chapter of NGIT, thought I would ask a question on this story. In the text of The Rescue and in several of your comments, you allude to a previous story that introduces these characters. Would ask for some info in your bio section on what and where is that story? Again, thanks for the enjoyable read.

I would love to read a sequel to this story. Just sayin'! Definitely worth more than five stars!

Another chapter please. Take us to the beach wedding, Trent needs to rear his ugly ass and get put down permanently. Maybe the African village can get involved and help.. such possibilities for one more solid closing chapter.

Just sayin

We need more stars.

on page 5 you say Alex is in the group from the plane greeting Michele, that there are 5 of them. then a few paragraphs later when asked, you state he stayed behind back at the Voss's to meet others coming in to welcome Michele and Grayson back home, right?? is this simply a mistake or did I mis-read somewhere?

Yeah, i messed that up. He should have been stateside.

I tried answering the feedback you sent me but it got kicked back to me for some reason. I'm thinking of revisiting this with a rewrite sometime in the future to clean it up.

Just don't leave us hanging with the ending, Trent needs to be taken care of and there seems to be a wedding and some other "activities" that could take place. Love this story, not a lot of sex (just enough) and a good read. Keep up the good work just as you did with New Girl....

A follow on chapter would be great!

I love the story read all six chapters today and have read all of the stories that you have listed now I can't wait for more of the new girl in town but I feel this story needs just one more chapter for when he gets home and how things are going after with everyone

I have to follow up on earlier comments. There are far too many errors, amateurish errors, that would be caught by an editor. You simply must send work out for comments before publishing or posting it; you're better than this. Factually, letting Michelle call home before they were safely there is a mistake that wouldn't be made by anyone with experience in this field. As I mentioned in a previous comment, I say this because I've enjoyed previous writings of yours (although truthfully, and as others have pointed out, you could cut the dialogue by at least 50% and not lose anything) and want to be constructive; I don't comment on work that's not likely to improve.

Outstanding story! Absolutely would love to see one more chapter so Ken gets his due and he, Alex and Scott all end up with the girl they wanted.

I read this to the end,and it needs an ending!

Says it in the title ...

Granted I came to the party late, but I quickly realized this story was about a half chapter short. Ken was grilled for a week and then sent home where he soon finds that Michelle had gotten pregnant in Italy. They marry, move to Florida where he sets up a security equipment and body guard service, and gets rich. Michelle gets a plum job with Bush Gardens. They live happily ever after Or some such anyhow.

Obviously, your readers want more of the story and it’s characters. Can only endorse that fully. Bravos.

When Michelle runs to her family and friends at the plane it says that Alex is there. Then when they all walk over to Ken he asks where Alex is and is told that Alex stayed behind to meet up with Lissa and the rest of the team. And it's CHOKING not chocking!!!!!!

Great story but it needs a real ending not where it was left

Let’s me your work but please finish this one don’t leave it hanging like this

to quote that rapper that hangs with Dr. Dre. HELL YEA

Now that you've finished "Don't look like a Seal", I want Part III.

You can throw the epilogue to this story into Chapter 01 of the next one.

Beyond that, I do hope you continue with the characters for a long time to come.

I had to come back n re read this after the it doesnt look like a seal. It was even better the 2nd time around

Please make these characters on going stories. These 2 really were great looking for n hoping for part 3 . Great job.

I enjoy your stories and yes please do a third part of this story line.continuing with the week long interview between Grayson and Agent Jackson.

Really enjoy your stories!

Thanks for all of your great work. They are really enjoyable to read. You are an outstanding story teller.

Are your best characters . In my opinion. I like to be entertained and they are very entertaining. New girl , is good but these are great. Keep in mind I am a Very small sample size and I love all your work. I like a little over the top characters . A little fantasy, a little escape from the world most of us are surrounded by. If you keep writing I’ll keep reading, what ever comes across your mind.

We definitely need a bit of the debriefing, and DEFINITELY need the reunion in the states. And you still need to give us the details of what Yacine foresaw in her vision of the white dress on the beach.

Loved the adventure and can't wait to see whats next

You can add me to the list too! I would love to have more stories filled with the characters you've developed.

Great job... lots of work that will live on well into the future.

Some grammer errors. Really good story. Could have a few more chapters involving the outcome of Trent being sentence. In addition, joining forces for another mission involving his friends.

great story,what happen when they get home together.

How exactly is your brain working asking if I want this cast of characters continuing???? I sure do wan t this relationship between Ken and Michelle growing to a marriage and beyond. Just like the story "Girl in red" This story as well as the story "New Girl in Town" needs to continue. You are a great author and these are extremely interesting stories so please continue them.

Please continue this cast of characters! I anxiously await your continuation of these stories if Kenneth and Michelle. Thankyou.

I need you to continue this story

How is there not at least another page of story getting Kenny through the testimony and back to Michelle? Ending with them separating again is just horrible.

My third read

Thoroughly enjoyed story again

Please continue writing

Thankyou for sharing your writing

CRW

It would be nice to see how Kenny and Michelle end up

I certainly like this story very much. I hope you continue this story and also New Girl in Town. You are a great author.

you need to and a follow up for when they get together back in the USA

Much appreciate you giving us the beginning of this fine epic with “Don’t Look Like a Seal” here. Following that, the reread of “The Rescue” was even better. But, please keep in mind that you have left Michelle and Kenneth apart again. Look forward to the next story of these two that will remedy that. Bravos.

Other than some issues with homonyms and nearly same spellings... Very good story.

Just remember, You're is a contraction of you are. Your is the possessive ("...your car, not mine.")

You can wreak havoc, but a bad driver causes a wreck.

I liked the premise of the being to rescue the girl, but so many times you left the tracks with too many side and dialogue that really didn't have anything to do with the rescue. I think at one point you had over 4 pages of the making love and having sex and talking about the past. Just my opinion of course. Like I said before check out some of the other top rated authors and stories. Keep writing though. If you decide to contact me please identify yourself and the story other authors have emailed and thanked me but failed to identify who they were and what story. Thanks again for a good story

Love Everything you write. Hoping for more stories about Grayson and Michelle. Thanks

Potentially a good story that while if it would have been half as long, it would still be to long for its own good. To much fluff and not enough substance.

I really enjoyed this sorry, thanks! I really hope you write more about Kenny and Michelle because you left them apart again and that isn't how I feel you should leave their story.

I really enjoyed the story, it was well written and fun, even if the ending was a bit abrupt and highly unsatisfying. I would of preferred a happier, firm ending for sure. The breaks between the thoughts of different people/switching views within the story was miserable, there was no notice it just happened. It may be a formatting issue reading this on the phone but even a "***" before the thought/point of view switched would help greatly

Well done! Finn

Awesome. More stories

Just. Like this. So so good the sex isnt needed.

Respectfully

SORRY! I do Not have any suggestions nor negative comments. Some people stand at a tree and stare at it. OTHERS step back and look at the forest. Bottomline, I was / am enthralled with what you've done, it was hard to pause my reading, of your writings. You juggled many different things and managed to do an Excellent job in pulling them all together. THANK YOU !

I liked this story very much, but it was not finished.

Yeah I can use my imagination but I would rather read it.

It's a shame so many stories on this site just end not taken to completion

Stories like this aren't realistic, I know, but the ending really bothered me. CIA agents have no power of arrest, especially on the territory of a NATO ally.

I would very much like for you to continue this story """"PLEASE{"""". If you have other stories some place else or if you sell books, please inform me. Dennis Hoeye at bell@gorge.net

I am NOT asking you to continue!!!

I am Instructing you to do so!!

This story is NOT complete and requires resolution!!

Great plot but I question how the CIA can cuff an American civilian using marines in a foreign land. and force him to undergo debriefing and interrogation. What authurity gave them that right? Kenny was too reluctant to open up tothe woman which caused the story to drag a bit. scenes were interrupted by irrelevant scenees and took away interest from the protagonists action........but it was still a 5 star story.

It'd be great to get 1 more chapter at least w/ an epilogue w/ the wedding etc... story feels 80-90% done. Still would love more of ken and his friends post seal team adventures

I sure do hope you finish this story SOMEWHERE!!! If you have finish elsewhere please post it.

Please continue storys with these characters. I want to know how the romatical relation between the shown persons develops. I'd love to read more...

Clearly lot's of options for the next stories. Please continue the saga

A great story, kept me reading and reading, thank you for your creative mind and story writing skill and the cost of your time and hassle, appreciate it.

Bob... 5/26/23

I really liked the story, was getting frustrated and almost quit it when they (Ken & Michelle) took forever to admit to each other they loved each other but I kept on. To only give them one night together and end the story really sucked! Really hated the ending. You could have done better. Still like your stories but was disappointed ☹️.

Whats with this author and making his MC's being pussy-whipped by whores? Had to skim to the end if he finally grew the bells to tell her to fuck off but sadly not.

Lovin' it! Thank you!

Again, YES! When? Sooner, soonest... thank you!

Loved it. Both parts. Could not put it down.

Didn’t expect to find such a great story on what amounts to a smut site.

Let me know if you write an actual book. I will buy it!

Excellent storyline and very good writing.

Will be there a 7th part, there are some questions still open, Will be Grayson back in Myrtle Beach, where will be agent Trend or Yuri, What is with Jasmin. Must somebody travel to London to help Karly.. Could you please continue...

Absolutely great, Can't wait for the sequel to be published. Hope you post it here or at least provide a link.