All Comments on 'The Rose and Crown'

Maybe you should rewrite your other stories and give them similar endings such as this. Maybe you have had him confront her on a corner and offer her a couple of pounds to have him piss on her...

what is it about authors from the UK cannot seem to figure out the difference between a wimp and a moron?

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Terry's ahem "wife" seems to have been a well known WHORE in the sleazy part of town (and yes I have been to Leeds England)... which he never knew about.

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she wont introduce him all.

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she lies to EVERYONE that he is "her date".

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The wife appears to have a PIMP by the name of Karl.

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When another girl tries to talk to the whore wife... she ignores him again.

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and during this entire time he nevers says to anyone <i>HEY SHE IS MY WIFE. </i> I mean the premise is laughable...

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so then Terry decides to "charge" in to save his... when it is clear she yoesn't want him around.

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<b>WHY? was the risk and threat of severe beating worth it ??? What more could this wife do in 4 hours to show her utter contempt and hatred of Terry?</b>

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then after to makes it home she calls promsies tocome home but never shows up.

<b>Terry IS in fact a wimp and a Moron.</b>

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He is a Moron for not being able to process what he is seeing and a WIMP for not grasping what it means.

Too bad Terry didn't load a couple more shells and blown off their nuts for good measure.

Boyd

<p>Did you read the story?</p>

<p>He crippled both of them for life, dumped his former wife and moved on into the sunset. Curiosity about what happened isn't being a wimp and, if you even read the story, you might have noticed he didn't go running up to his former wife and to rekindle any kind of relationship,</p>

I do not advocate violence often. This story cries for it. If the husband ever loved his wife he would have killed Karl and not left his wife to be a prostitute. He is a wimp for not defending her even if he had to then divorce the slut. Britease you are hit and miss. Mostly miss and this one misses by a country mile. This story called for a slaughter of the clientele and all you have him do is check to see if she is happy. Pathetic

It's about time you didn't wimp out the man. It was questionable there for a bit with his passivity at first. She got exactly what she was telling him she wanted and what she acted like she wanted. She's an educated adult and she knew what she was doing. She just thought her husband would stand for it. The only downside is that he was left to remain unhappy. Only 75 for inconsistency, as you painted her as pretty much sexually repressed in the beginning of the story. That contrasts sharply with how you had him view her as sexually accomplished at the end when comparing her with his other bedmates.

i guess the scene in the pub where she ignores him and not

even bothers to introduce him to the clientele is a classic

rollercoaster of emotions; it is everything stories on cheating

wives are about. thanks.

but i guess it will never stop amazing me how knee-jerk like

the reactions are in here. he's a brit? must be a wimp. never mind how he

acts, he must be a wimp, cause he is a brit. she's a

lesbian? must have an agenda. never bother to think or even read the story:

the mind (?) is made up.

yes...i guess the most amazing thing is that people still take the trouble to

write these loving wife's stories.

No Harry, he's not a wimp or moron. Don't know if you are married, but I can imagine you to be shocked, to say the least, if all the sudden you were to be treated like she dtrated him, when (as per his own saying) she had told him that day him several times she loved him and they were thinking about children. As for Tearsofsorrow2, he did try to fight for her. But after the beating up, he realized that he was no game for this guy and did it otherwise. Why would he want to kill for somebody like her, you haved to be kidding, right? I believe that curiousity is just that, see for yourself (if you can) what happened later on. She made her choice then and there. Told him even so. Tried to push him even more into something she thought she could get away with, hence her repeated statements to make it up to him and everything would be OK as before. Must be the biggest joke of all. Just shows her deep disrespect for her husband. NO. I think this ending is just perfect. She got what she deserved, even wanted. She could have tried to start over somewhere else and tried to make a different living, gradually climing out of this sad situation. But apparently, she did not. I liked the story, so for me, Brtiease please continue your writing whichever way you like. G.Belgium.

But I would have left for the middle east the second the wife didn't introduce me. It was obvious that the wife was something more than just 'friends' to the people in the pub. Yes okay I might have burned down the pub, and yes I would have probably shot the men the the husband shot. But the fight was over the second they walked through that door, the wife might claim she loved the husband, but obviously deep down she was a prostitute and will always be so. The fact that she went back to her pimp is telling really. Sorry britease, as someone said you write well but sometimes you don't quite hit the mark. Don't worry I know how it feels.

Good story. Sad. How shooting two people makes the husband a wimp is totally beyond me.

But Harry has a special detector for wimps, I suppose.

implications, you didnt. He wife totally abandoned and disrespected her husband knowing she was going back into the whore trade. He stayed at the side and quiet to long. He didnt object and ask to talk to his wife and give her a decision to make. He wimped out, you dont have to fight everyone to not be a wimp, but you dont sit around and mope without being one. Waiting on the whore to come home was a mistake, I would have had her stuff packed and ready incase she did come home. I am totally surprised he aimed as low as the knees, a bit higher the groin and thighs would have done a good job. Of course the bitch needed to have been shot int he moneymaker also. I dont get this, why would you not divorce a whore? You like keeping her on your records, you like having her dip into your accounts, you like having her arrest records show your name each time? Two things are certain, death and taxes. Karl needed death, simply and plainly. The west Indian was doing his job he needed taxes for the earlier injuries and the knee shot was appropriate. The whore wife needed to "disappear" and be "gone".

Many here are missing MY point about the violence and in doing so missing the KEY issue about Terry's motiviation.

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Sure at First Terry is stunned by what he has seen and learned. Sure his mind cannot quite grasp what the hell is going on. Up to this point Britease has done this part of the story REALLY well...

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<b> After the first few hours... after the 1st beating... WHAT IS TERRY'S MINDSET? </b> why does he still love her?

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<b> The author never has Terry talking about what the Wife's massive deception MEANS.</b>

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Often in LW stories you have the Husband get all macho in the MIDDLE or at the END of the story when it is clear that it is way too late. Authors do this as a form of "cover' so no reader can lay the charge of wimp on the husband character and / or the author.

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Let me say this again for the Morons out there in TVland such as TheBullet. Terry using a shotgun to cripple Karl and others is a stupid senseless act.

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Terry should of been long gone by then!!. The only reason he shot them was because HE had gotten beaten up for trying a wife that did not want to be a wife anymore.

But Karl needed the shot in the middle. I don't understand why you have left the couple as they are and it needs a better closing.

You really have the touch for these tales and I really look forward to them. Don't worry about the critics who consider the husband a wimp unless he brings down death or pestilence. I find it pathetic that they continue to read the stories just so they can comment about "wimp husbands".

ending than the other stories of yours.One minor point, the football team is Leeds United not Leeds City.Keep up this kind of ending,but keep out of the Ch********n area.

She was out of the marraige the moment she decided to seek her old bordel. He never asked and she never told. It takes a while to register what is going on and really feel it and then to take action. I am amazed at the reaction of so many comentators. I get the feeling they would be happy if no one ever posted another story. I admit that shooting people is not a good idea but standing up to irresistible force is worse yet! His slow reaction was necessary to get the whole story out. What would the same critics say if the story had ended with his immediately walking out of the bordel?? They would complain that he did not know enough to act! I get the feeling that certain people feel that anyone who gets married is a moron.....

What woman in her right mind would want her husband to know that she was a hooker in her recent past, even if it was to pay her way through college? And even if she was honest enough to tell him why revisit the old neighborhood, so to speak. Either she is a complete moron or doesn't love her husband as she says she does. Anyway, the husband did the right thing and is better off without her. Too bad he didn't shoot her as well. How would she do as a prostitute walking with a limp?

Well done. A very well written story with a good plotline.

Nice character development, and well structured. It is difficult to introduce firearms into a story set in Britain and it was neatly done in this case. As a clay target shooter he is likely to have only ammunition for his own sport. Very few shooters keep anything heavier than seven and a halfs unless they do some wildfowling. To have deliberately inflicted lethal wounds, our hero would first have had to bring down his opposition as he did, reload, close with the fallen and deliberately put the gun to a vital point. This would be quite out of character for the vast majority of people. The scenario painted by Britease is much more realistic. Although I think that it is much more likely that Terry would have handed himself in to the police.

The story is Ok, but as other commentator stated I have trouble understanding the motivations of the wife. It would be nice if you could write a second chapter from her point of view.

I rather enjoyed the story. I am left to wonder what happened with his/her families. In the middle of the story, it was her parents that invited him around to be reunited. I am also not sure as to why no divorce. That certainly could have happend while he was in the Middle East. Please keep writing. I have enjoyed all of your stories. Rick in Reading

husbands. The husband here had balls. He did the only thing he could have done to gain back his self respect. Hope to more of the same marriedwithballs@yahoo.com

have nailed it once again. Call me a dumb American, but if my Wife/long time girlfriend/casual date is showing me her old "stompin' grounds", I don't give a flying fig who she meets from her past but I better be introduced (correctlty and proudly) within a half minute. It's just manners and a modicum of respect to do so.

Don't let the jerks stop you, Harry. I really think that most times that you, Risq and Sleeplessin MD are the only who reads these tales w/o projecting.

Although I would love to know just what in the hell she was thinking when she took her husband to the brothel she used to work in and then treated him like dirt.<P>

The marriage was, of course, over then. He got very lucky after the shotgunning. Curious, though, why didn't he get a divorce and move on with his life. It appears he regrets not having children.<P>

Hey, have you happened to notice your stories usually get a LOT of comments - good and bad? <P>

Thanks for sharing.

The story was kind of weak. It could have been saved at the end if the reader could have gotten some idea about what the wife was thinking. All we know is that the wife is a retired whore. For some reason she decides to be a whore again while she is married. She is bad, the husband is good, and he gets to shoot the place up and then he gets away from the wife and is happy. Keep writing though!

An interestingly different version of an old theme. I rather liked it.

-- KK in Texas

but he did find out and he got rid of the whore ...the pimp is still a pimp ...to bad he didnt shoot their cocks off .....as for carrie maybe she is happy when shes getting fucked .....id sure hope so anyway otherwise maybe she should just finish karl off along with his nigger friend then jump off a tall building....sure shows she wasnt upper crust though dont it ....more like bottom of the barrel pond scum to me....why would a woman go back to that when she had everything nice waiting ....lose a good job with no way of ever getting a decent job again with a prostitution charge hanging there ....now he has a good life with a nice piece of pussy neither married but hey he can still have kids ....and her probably with aids

go figure maybe she just had a death wish and wanted to go out slow and bad ...good story

Well-enough written, and Terry's humiliating experience in the bar obviously stirs up readers (see all the comments). But the wife's behavior is so obviously nonsensical that the story loses all credibility. She either wants to go back to her life as a whore--in which case she'll leave Terry without regret--or she wants to keep him, in which case she would never drag him into the Rose and Crown to watch her cavort with her former pimp! If she has more intelligence than a zucchini, her behavior makes no sense whatsoever--rendering the story impossible to take seriously.

The writing is okay but the characters are a bit too fantastic for me. The wife's behavior simply does not make sense. After her escapade as a child, why would she decide to become a prostitute in college? It's not impossible, I suppose, but certainly not a path I'd expect.

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Her behavior on their visit to the pub is beyond discourteous. It's so outrageous that I expected her hubby to dump her on the spot and file for an immediate divorce. That he did not made me wonder what his major malfunction was. With characters like these, the story is quite unbelievable.

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Equally unbelievable are the patrons of the pub. The author wants us to believe that every one of them who saw the shootings absolutely refused to say one word to the police. Humans are not that similar. Someone would've talked, and that blows the remaining storyline and the conclusion. Finally, with Karl and his bad-ass buddy now crippled, who's gonna protect their whores at the end of the tale? No one which means their prostitution gig no longer works.

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I cannot give this story high marks because the characters don't make sense, and the plot is full of holes. Thank you for your effort.

there's no point or credulity to this so-called story. if you're going to spend serious hours thinking and writing, pretend you're writing for diverse but intelligent readers. <p>

people can be whores, pimps, criminals, retards,,, but if you give them credibility, the story sounds true. <p>

do some serious CHARACTER STUDY before you write, so whatever characters you write, they come off believable --- whether, again, they are simpletons like George and Lennie in OF MICE AND MEN or perplexed and evil doers like Kurt and Marlow, HEART OF DARKNESS, or FORREST GUMP, or that Madame who killed herself last year, knowing she's going back to jail, again, knowing --- at 50 --- she would never come out to run another prostituting ring.... <p>

even though she was a prostitute and a madame, even at 50, she had an elderly mother who loved her to the end,,, and why not? if we have to see our child growing to be a prostitute who had to come back hang herself in our home, the home she grew up in... that'd break all our hearts, whatever we think of her profession...

Somehow this story seemed tongue-in-cheek to me. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood, but I thought the shotgun scene was hilarious. BOOM! Pimp in a wheel chair the rest of his life. Too bad he didn't aim a little higher.

and drooling on herself. Actually, the slut wife got off easy [again] from this author. As usual, Harry VA nails it with his commentary & analysis - at least someone has the guts to state the obvious. In reality, Harry's comments usually make more sense than the story. Author - keep trying, one of these days you will craft a story with "respectable consequences" befitting the behavior of these elegant slut wives.

The writing was fair, the plot was inconsistent, and the action our hero took was beyond belief. Are women so mysterious and flighty that we are to believe they simply become irrational out of the blue? Carrie just zones out and goes back to becoming a whore? At least in other stories, we have drugs, old girlfriends, or the standard excuse, "I thought if you did not know, you would not be hurt." Terry is nuts in my view. The idea he would not say to Karl's henchman (as others pointed out), "Hey wait, she's my wife!" The idea that he would persist in trying to force his way past a bar mob arrayed against him, when it was clear his wife was doing her thing on purpose and wanted to pretend she was not married to him, well, it's a bit like a British line of soldiers marching straight into a gatling gun as it mows them down. How can Terry keep making rationalizations and not face reality? "My marriage may be over . . . " It was over the minute he realized what the fuck was happening. Now for the shotgun part. If you go seeking revenge, then dig two graves (an old saying). I can only see one purpose to going back to the bar with a gun -- If one feels life's not worth living after the humiliation and beating and loss of one's wife, then fuck the world, it's time to get off the merry-go-round and take out as many bad guys as possible. But Terry somehow thought if he just shot to wound Karl et al, then he could get off? Within the past 2 years there was a case in UK where a homeowner struggled with a burglar (who was armed) and the burglar ended up getting shot. That was as good a case of self-defense as I've heard yet the homeowner went to jail! In Terry's case, he would probably get charged with 2 counts of attempted murder and most likely would receive 10+ years. In jail, Karl's friends would not only kneecap him, they would turn his anus into the Dark Hole of Calcutta! It's one thing to risk your life for a loved one, it's another to simply throw it away because you've lost your loved one.

I just do not get this one. I understand that there is a very powerful dynamic between a whore and her pimp - almost primal but this does not explain Carrie's behavior. If Karl had this control over her how did she get away from him the first time? Why the whole scene where she passes Terry off as a John? Why didn't she argue for the Middle Eastern job if it would be hard to be in Leeds? Why the regret that fills Terry since it would have not worked out? Do he really think that as quick as Carrie fell back into that life that she was going to be okay in any other place? What made me dislike this story was the silly recriminations Terry expressed in the beginning? It made him seem totally foolish - how did he get away with it?; should he have done it?; was it her fault? Spare me! Carrie played him for a chump first by lying to him about her past and by not being honest when him about what she wanted in the future. Did she expect her hero to stand by while she whored herself out to Karl? The scene at The Rose and Crown was somewhat anticlimatic (pardon the pun) since there is no nice way to introduce your husband to your pimp! Your story "The Bank Statement" made more sense.

u could have at least said hi to her in the end. i guess terry wasn't her hero after all. more erotic was the original story by ? quinn rogan (if i remember accurately). his word ing was the most stimulating of any writer ever, as far as i can determine. its been years since i read his rendition and i had to calm down and get a stiff drink when i realized where this was headed. i actually didn't know if i could handle the rest of this story. thanks, rc

Why do some people take it all so seriously?

It's supposed to be a bit of fun isn't it?

At least one of you recognised that it's all a bit tongue in cheek.

I'm not a proffessional writer, I do it for fun in my spare time, and I haven't got a lot of that, after I've been running my golf course.

Thanks anyway for the comments, good and bad (but especially the good, of course)

I'll keep writing, please keep commenting _ It means more than the votes.

Britease

As with your other stories, this one also shows the pain of your loved one passing a sword through your heart, and splitting it into pieces forever, in an incurable way.

I did not mind the theatrics of the shooting and beating at the bar scene - but it felt like you were going after the effect, more than it being an out growth of the plot. The numerous unanswered questions raised by the wifes strange behavior (not only at the bar scene) as Sleepless Vulcan GenghisKhan and others have listed should give you more than a clue. <P> Its not so much that people necessarily take a non professional (if talented) author too seriously. I guess the common message could be work on the character a bit more perhaps start with understanding the character on a basic level, and if it means trimming the theatrics (mostly of her behavior) a bit - I bet most would better appreciate your talent. <P> BTW, I hope youll count mine as a good comment.

I LOVED it! I wish at the end, he would've gone up to her, said "Hi" and flicked a quarter at her face and said "Here. Two bits, for a two bit, loser whore." And then walked away over to Karl and the other loser and said, "Hey! I'll race you 10 feet from here! Why are you in the wheelchair, Gimp?" And then he should've pee'ed on them reminding them that they were just losers. Then he should've asked them,"Have you ever looked down the barrel of a shotgun?" And then he should've laughed right in their faces, again reminding them that they were half-witted retards.

Thanks for the GREAT story!

<p>I liked the ending but the beginning of the story was confusing. Was he talking to someone? On the phone? That didn't make any sense. I would also suggest that you set your finished story aside for at least a day, preferably two, and do something else then reread it. I find that I catch a lot of grammar errors that way (though I haven't written a story, or at least I've never finished one, yet). If you aren't a native English speaker that would explain things like "I think if she'd known, then she wouldn't have left out flat." which obviously should be "... left our flat.". I don't claim to be a perfect writer, I know I'm not, I make mistakes too. (In fact there are probably several in this comment.)</p>

<p>I thought that the ending was very well written. Some of the characters might not do things that we would, but <b>its FICTION STUPID!</b> The best part was his shooting out the windows. It got everyones attention, without risking another beating, and even if they had been repaired his wife would have remembered what he did every time that she walked into the bar. That would be a reminder that he wasn't as stupid, or weak, as she obviously thought he was (her expression that told him she was trying figuring out how much more she could get away with tells us that). That along with seeing her pimp in a wheel chair would be a constant reminder of what she did and how she deserved what she was suffering. I would have had him divorce her, and tell her parents why, but that is me and I didn't write this.</p>

He almost wimped out, must be an English thing.

As usual a great story! What is it with these readers? Do they want life or their juvenile fantasies? I loved the story for its believabilty. The bitter, sweet ending in my mind was its strength.

Love your work,

Max

Well there could have been dozens!!! But one question that is most important why did she go back there at all??? Doesn't add up man...

Tooo weak story

A cheater is a cheater because some mental defect makes them cheat, it doesnt go away, they dont change. They are like alcoholics they have to face it everyday. Prostitutes are basically the same. Easy money for doing what most women do for free. A cheater is a cheater and always will be a cheater even if they never cheat again. A whore is a whore, it is also a mentality, and they will always be a whore and when the opportunity strikes they will answer the call just as a cheater will.

My heart breaks for you, man. Your story, however fictional, really got to me. I know the pain well. It eats at you if you let it. Hope you feel better.

To those who are bothered by the plot or the dialogue etc. in this piece, I suspect that you are missing the point. From my reading, the story appears to be a metaphor for the pain and humiliation that many people have suffered at the hands of their spouses. It is therefore not to be taken as a literal description of actual events. Many people have gone through similar roller coasters of thoughts and feelings that the narrator experiences in this story. It's a tough knock, but you can survive it.

That's the question one reader asked here. I often wonder the same thing. Yes, what is it with you readers? Can't read a story for what it is? The same old critics always analyzing and looking to re-write an authors story. When are these guys going to write their own. My guess, never.<p>What's that saying? Those that can, write, those that can't criticize.

i think being paralyzed would have been better for karl and ted both ...then they would have needed motorized wheel chairs to get around in...might be a tad harder also to be apimp when you cant control your bladder alas for the wife she got what she deserved a slow death with no hope of any kind of life except as a whore...and to eventually die as one...or aids

Your stories are all wonderfully written, but a little confusing in terms of what they aim to prove. Keep it up though. They are very clever even if in some ways they are sad and depressing.

60 year old George

The punishment Terry gave Karl and Ted was just, but if Terry had any humanity, he would have taken Carrie out of that place by force. Obviously, she cannot take care of herself. Once she is safe, then divorce her cheating loathing self. But you do not leave somone you love, even if they betray you, in a place like that!!!!

But, you are an excellent author. You held my attention and this story has been on my mind all night and day. Only a well crafted tale can accomplish that...

Sorry but I think a hand grenade would have worked better, tossed inside with the lot of them including carrie..........good effort tho Brit, keep up the good work.

as always very good indeed.......I am impressed........keep it up....John

That is the pity with Britease's stories: there is never a hint about the cheating wife's motivations. That would be more interesting than the husband's agony.

4 / 5

THE NEXT CHAPTER HAS SEVERAL PLOTS AND LINES TO FOLLOW UP WITH AND MOST OF THEM CAN BE STEREOTYPICAL. WITH HER EDUCATION AND REVERTING BACK AND STAYING IN A STAGNANT ENVIRONMENT. THIS WOULD MAKE A REVENGE OR HUMILATING OR CONSEQUENCES ARE A BITCH. PLEASE TRY TO COME UP WITH A PLAUSIBLE SEQUEL. TK U MLJ LV NV

hey BT, you owe it to yourself to finish what you started, it was a great story and now you can expound on it, TK U MLJ LV NV

and it seems to me that most of the comments are from people who haven't. Or from people who can't appreciate the English language. It was pretty well spot on for me.

I can just about imagine the incredulity with which a man might watch his wife descend into such behaviour. How would a normal man act? Probably differently in each of our cases. This story is a little over the top to represent real life - but it isn't real life is it? It's a story.

The ending fits well. Revenge is total, as the life of a back street prostitute in Leeds, (a city I know well) is pretty rough. So; two crippled men and a wife with the rest of her life a ruin and he's a wimp? He's a believable character, who didn't express any joy at the condition of those who wronged him.

I think it's great.

To seal the final stamp of approval, Harry, the perennial idiot hates it. It must be good.

rh's explanation of the British way of life will help other readers in the enjoyment of this story. TK U MLJ LV NV

I can't get this story out of my head. I've read and written many stories,but this one is haunting me. I keep wondering about the emotional and psychological trauma the husband must have gone through after finding out that the woman he loved was and is a whore. I just can't get over how stupid she was to completely fuck up her life.

The husband should have let his stupid whore wife see him when he returned to the brothel for the last time. The shame and sense of loss would have stayed with her forever.

not a 5 but good. who the fuck cares about that whore. let her die of aids.

You got me thinking about this one. My only question is why did she want to return to her whore ways having been happily married (or so we thought). I'm going to work on this one. Thanks Brit.

I would have told the men in the bar a lot sooner that I was the husband. And I think I would have aimed a tad higher with the shotgun. And maybe been more discreet about the shooting. And he just spent his life shacked up with the American and never divorced Carrie? That seems a bit unsatisfying.

...was called for, me thinks. And most definately groin shots were called for.

For the read,

This is probably the most disturbing story I have read on Literotica, and not particularly believable. However, if believability were a requirement for a good story no one would ever watch a James Bond movie, would they. This story was well written and certainly original so it was one of the easiest 5s I've ever given despite its disquieting nature.

Or shot gun shell, perhaps, would be more apt.

A great, but very disturbing, story.

... gets a five! Same pattern from the wife in not acknowledging the husband but at least he gave what was owing and she got what was coming.

Well anything that can hit my emotions like this just did has to be a 5++ and left me looking at myself in a new light, not that I am a Carrie at all but I see that in some ways we are all bit selfish and self centredthat hurts others we care for. Some life lessons here I think. Thanks for some great words all in the right order. Jean

The rest of the story is just strange. Terry's vacillating and Carrie's behavior make are hard to fathom.

Loved it. 5*

The Wild, Wild West is alive in Leeds! And here I thought it was only Texans that all packed heat. A big change for one of your husbands to grow a pair, as most of them seem to huff and puff and get blind sided. Well I guess he did get blind sided as she turned out to be a prostitute. But a shotgun? Pretty messy stuff. Indiscriminate too. I finally figured out why you're mad. Arsenal hasn't done ANYTHING in years. Enough to make someone want to pop on down to the Pub and tie one on - permanently. My condolences.

Arsenal are currently 5 points ahead in the premiership! Critisize my stories by all means, but Arsenal --- That's sacrilige!

the quest for higher education and knowledge leaves no stones unturned, TK U MLJ LV NV

The story is a terribly unhappy tale. You seem to be an excellent writer but you write such terrible and unhappy stories. Such a shame what you are doing with your talent. And shame on the individuals that read the story and thought it was good! Shame on the lot of you!

bill

This shit does not have that. Any woman who is happily married would have avoided her past like plague.

So Britease, stop shiting in Lit and go to your toilet instead...

some people wouldn't recognize a good story if it came up and bit them on the arse.

I hate it when stories end without some closure.

I really want to know more about Carrie and her thinking. Did she go thru life always thinking she would be rescued and protected? Did Carl simply replace hubby as her protector? Did she really walk into that bar simply thinking she would reminisce with old friends for a few hours, and leave? Was her original intention to go there to fuck with Karl for a few days and then go back to normal married life? As someone who is used to being protected did she think her escapade would be forgiven by her husband? Did she think hubby would gladly put along with being "just a date" that she could dump? Did she really want to go back to her original profession?

I wish hubby had gone back home as she requested. He would probably have waited a few days for her to return. Then he could have found out what she had expected that day, and then divorce her, telling her never cross his path again.

no one that I would like to know. no one that I want to know more about.

I can't believe he just sat and watched without at least telling the bartender he was her husband as he left.

Then she got to have them for longer than expected and deserved every negative thing she got.

considering the humiliation that karl put him through, I was surprised he didn't take at least one shot at his groin, his henchman too. maybe take a little video of her handing over money to karl, so he could send it to all her college friends and family. crush her like she crushed him.

Really tight, not many wasted words, if any.

the bloodstream still remembers. TK U MLJ LV NV

Would have liked to have seen a little more in the denouement at the end. No big scenes or drama, but maybe just a little eye contact and recognition to put a bow on the story.

anti - British/English comments are just funny when you see how much American cuckold stuff there is on this site.. I agree with Angiequesophie on that score.

er using a shotgun and maiming his two tormentors isn't the usual wimp style one sees here in stories about American cuckolds either.. I agree that the wife's behaviour seems very inconsistent, but who knows with these white girls who go black and work for black pimps. Perhaps she really did expect him to sit there and wait his turn or when she got home.

The story is quite gripping though; the way she begged him to be allowed back to him after the incident the weirdest thing. Would she really have done that?

Not sure what's up with all those underscores in the story, like this: "___", but it look weird.

Is it a formatting error, or is the author just feeling 'creative'?

Either way, I would suggest changing it.

He should have gotten a last shot in and told her that it was a waste saving her at 14, she ended up spreading legs for random people quite willingly later on, and maybe she would had even like it back then.

Still a shame really, I almost feel sorry for her that she ended up as yet another aging prostitute, he really should have inquired a bit more about her previous experience, when her virginity was given to someone else and she apparently was so good in bed.

I don't understand what there was to maybe work out? I would've had the whores things packed and dropped off at her new home the brothel bar. I'm not begging a whore to get off her pimps lap and come home to me.. No ma'am. I would've left when she ignored me and didn't even bother to introduce me to her friends. Why did she bring him there knowing what it was and what was going to happen? She wanted to humiliate him. I didn't like this story. It had zero emotions. The reaction to finding out he unknowingly married a whore was lacking, "if she comes home now, maybe we can work it out" are you serious? Lol... There's a reason she brought him there. There's nothing to wok out. I don't give a fuck if he knew her since she was 2, she's not 2 anymore she's a whore. Obviously knowing her since she was 14 didn't earn him any loyalty and respect..

Very funy if you like wimp tales, bot this character is a fucking moron.

In his 1980(?) hit, "Carrie", she turned out to be a prostitute. I see some parallels in this story.

Oh and I agree with Danger09 - I'd have been out of there and the marriage, as soon as she started ignoring me the first time we were there!

I'm not a Cliff Richard fan and have never seen a fit called Carrie (or don't remember it maybe?) Of all my stories this one is the one that most people have asked for a sequel to. I've tried, I really have, but it's just not there. Where's FTDS when you need him?

I've been rolling one or two possible scenarios around in my mind all afternoon - one of which allows Carrie to redeem herself, if somewhat violently. Someone suggested a sequel, written from her point of view - which appeals - and was another possible scenario. Of course, I'm not a writer, but....

i don't think it needs a sequel, my interpretation of the story was she got bored of marriage and being a "loving wife", i assumed she planned the whole visit to her old haunt the rose and crown, with her old friends in on the plan to intimidate ignore and humiliate her husband to force him to accept being her cuckold. her betrayal was designed to keep hubby in line so she could "step out" of the marriage at any time she chose and continue with, (to her) her exciting fuck sessions with her pimp and his cronies. the skanky whore longed for her old life, hope she enjoys it. great betrayal and well written.

i googled "faggoty cuck" and everything it came up with was merkan, mostly interracial.

chin up old chap toodle pip.

I loved the story. It doesn't match up to reality, as far as I know. Most prostitutes would gladly give up their profession for a loving husband and home life, not all but most. Could it have been her age, I don't know.

Personally I would not have been anywhere near satisfied if I hadn't blown Karl's dick off with that shot gun. It was him that took it that personally humiliated hubby, so it has to be him to pays. Fair is fair. He should be pissing and shitting in a bag the rest of his life.

Top notch story.

Once a whore, always a whore.

She went back voluntarily, hungrily, desperately - and never even tried to leave. Even after having been arrested for prostitution.

With all women, it's never a question of "if" but only of "when".

caught a break, dodged a bullet etc. Got out with no permanent damage and no kids. Got his revenge on the perps and she lives a life of misery so that satisfies the btb crowd. I think I'd have been done with her when she broke up/drifted away the first time. I'm no tough guy ex navy seal but I've never let any female turn me down more than once. Except my wife and that after she married me. lol

Finally!! A story with a guy of substance. He's the protagonist and he's not a victim. The sex scenes are awesome. There's violence. And it seemed real!!! Not too long, said all that need be said in 3 pages.

Kudos, it's perfect!!

I generally like your work, but this one I loved.

She gets pulled back that easily. Not believable. If she loved it that much she would have never left.

Very enjoyable read- I would have liked a few more details (like

Maybe knowing if he shot their balls off). I also prefer hearing the whore wife begging for forgiveness- but then again that's pretty routine. I liked that this guy took of business! Thanks!