All Comments on 'The Round Up . . . Is Over'

"Awwwwwwww, THAT'S the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it, uh huh uh huh"! You could have omitted the Scottish burr, but you still get a "5".

No Cucks here.

I liked it.

While it fed off of KK's story it took the whole thing in a different direction. It is fun to see people take something and create something interesting with it, especially when the original was excellent the follow up although very different is a well.

I look forward to more stories.

I am grateful for both the comments and to KK for giving me permission to carry his story further. I'm not sure that I would ever do it again. Should I do so, it will always be with the original author's permission and (probably) review. Writing here remains a learning experience.

Loved it, laughed out loud at the ending; young Mario is my kind of man. And I have to say, what a relief to find this in Literotica; I have just about given up finding a really funny, sexy, no "cuck" story here anymore. So you did realllyyyy good!

time since I enjoyed a story so much.I found my self cheering as the actions taken to deal with the "baddies" unfolded.Great story.

Actually, it's a very good example of why people shouldn't try to write endings to very good writers' original stories.

Enjoyable tale that made me chuckle more than once. Fine characters, good storyline. Thank you.

I dont usually like long stories. But I read this story from start to finish. The sex wasnt that important!!!

Loved this story!

RB

Well now you've done it - thankfully the playing field is more level tonight and not nearly as sullied as it was.<P>

Also worth noting is that the original writer has become an Author with piles of credibility as his talent now entertains instead of disrespecting characters and his readers.<P>

So author - nice work - you are appreciated for your talent and consequence.<P>

I / we hope for more from you in this vein - reality with arousal's is most entertaining for the largest audiences.<P>

With High Regard

I like it well done .

for leaving the link to K.K.'s original story. I was hoping your story would have taken the turn where his boss and Fed's were actually the Omega guys thus tricking him and his wife into a corner. But your story of vengence was ok too. The ending was kind of rushed. In any event, you weaved a good tail of intreague even if it was mostly a one directional feel good kind of thing.

<p>..........I about as far as page two in the story before I stopped. This could be the greatest story ever told, and it was just too unbelieve and out in left field for me to keep reading it.</p>

<p>Three things killed it for me. First the husband wife exchange:</p>

<p><i>Cindy: Mary said that there was this club that had contests every four years to see how many women each of them could seduce. They'd <b>tricked</b> her into <b>cheating on George</b> but he was such a sweet man and he'd loved her enough to forgive her little fling."</i></p>

<p><i>Mario: Honey, it wasn't a little fling," I swallowed, took a deep breath and continued, "She went to motels and had sex with six different men over the course of about nine months. It wasn't until she learned, from George, that she'd been videotaped each time and that each time she succumbed he got paid $1,000 that she stopped.</i>"</p>???

<p>First this exchange gave me such a negative feeling from their converation. It first felt like Cindy is trying to defending away Mary cheating by claiming she was somehow tricked into meeting a man at a hotel and by suggesting that she was some how tricked into having sex with a man not her husband, because lord knows she couldn't have ever made the decision to cheat on her own, she had to some how be deceived into. I guess, somehow, I've really not thought of most adults as having the mentality of children who can easily be tricked into adultry, because they just don't have any real concept of right and wrong. I tried to just re-read that section, but I just got the feeling that Cindy's character felt a "tiny bit" of cheating was really "no big deal" long as no one got hurt. Then Mario had to tell Cindy that her friend was "tricked" on no less than "6" seperate occasions, then it got worse when he continued and gave out this tiny blurb:</p>

<p><i>Mario: Mary got onto their list through no fault of hers and there was no way George could get her off. Paying George the thou' wasn't prostitution, it was more of like rent on her body. When he finally told her what he knew and how he knew it, when he showed her the tapes and the bank account, she was devastated.</i></p>

<p>Two things bother me on this point:</p>

<p><b>-One:</b> The explanation used that "It wasn't <i>prostitution</i> because they paid George and not her, because to them it was just a <i><b>renting</b></i> of her body" I can't believe the commentors just skipped over that to get to the erotic parts of the story. I guess all the street corner pimps may just have to start using that logic when ever they get arrested by the cops. Depending on who get paid isn't what determines what makes it prostitution. And the fact that "Good old George" sat back and knew about it each and ever time, waited while she did it, and when it was all said and done took the money and went off on a 2nd honey moon sure has heck make her a <b><i>prostitute</i></b> and the fact that good old George was accepting and spending the money made him her pimp. I guess good old dear George could be charitible and take his wife back now that she was done sleeping around and he was finish getting paid for it.</p>

<p><b>-Two:</b> I can't see anyone's wife actually <i>buying</i> that from their husband. I could see my wife trying to see if she could slap me hard enough to let me see what my back looked like. I could never see a wife not giving a husband second thoughts, who suggest that a woman who cheats, and her husband who lets her but get paid for it, aren't pimp and whore, but renters who are renting out a commidity to someone who intrested in a time share. Prositution is defined as "anyone" who gets paid for sex, not aways's the one performing the act.</p>

<p>But the icing on the cake that made me stop reading was this part:</p>

<p><i>Cindy: They paid him for her body. They paid him for her body! Mario, that isn't whoring or slut-wifery, that's slavery! Poor little Mary! No wonder she seems afraid to leave George's side.</i></p>

<p>Say what? Poor Mary? The willing adultress who thought she wasn't going to get caught? She cheated. Got filmed while cheating. Her husband got paid each time she cheated and he sat by with his mouth closed taking every payment. They went off on a 2nd honeymoon with the money and later tried (and succeeded) to start a famliy. And Cindy's character calls this "slavery". Slave's never got paid, and lord knows they never got any benifit, direct (or in Mary's case) indirect, from being slaves. This was a horrible analogy to be used by Cindy's character. And all because Mary didn't know the guys weren't helping her cheat with good intentions? What made it wrong, the adultry that the wife knew going into it with both of her eyes open at least 6 times, or the less than wholesome reasons the willing other guy(s) may have had who wanted to sleep with her? Somehow the story suggest to me that their less than wholesome reasoning is far more hurtful and devistating than her willing and <b><i>repeated</i></b> adultry with <b><i>different</i></b> men. Poor Mary, because she was embrassed. I guess Cindy's character felt Mary could have held her head up high long as no one but her and the 6 other men knew about her cheating.</p>

<p>The rest of the story might be the next "War and Peace", but the reasoning of these two and their faulty logic killed the story for me. I didn't have it in me to read about to less believable people and their reasoning about how a willing adultress and her pimp were really the victims, plain and simple, of someone elses plans. And how her pure and innocent <b><i>adultry</i></b> was made into something <b><i>tawdry and dirty</i></b> by these guy who were only out for themselves</p>

-Risq

Good stroke story but now that he is shagging other woman how long before the wife says it's my turn to have sex with other men. All that time and effort saving the marriage and for what?

some reasons of which are different from those he specific stated. <p>

the one big thing I whole-heartedly agree with Risq on was that this COULD HAVE BEEN a really interesting story, in fact, a "great" story. <p>

unfortunately, it was not handled well, here, even though the initial conceptualization of it, by KK, was interesting. the current author could have, should have, put more thinking in to it before churning out this sequel. <p>

it's actually NOT bad; but as Risq noted, it could really have been a really great story, if more cleverly done. <p>

unfortunately, as it is, the whole thing is more like a comedy act, one of those silent Charlie Chaplin episodes, where, at the end, the hero walks out, whistling, clicking his heels against each other, in a sideway jump... <p>

the CURRENT AUTHOR could have built so much more tension into the story, this sequel, and told a story, a clever and subtle story, where DESPITE all the warnings, despite the US Attorney's office, the FBI and computer geniuses they employed, despite Smith-Jefferson/McCallister and their power and prestige and resources ----- the reader still has NO WAY of knowing, for sure, whether there is some double deals going on. <p>

but, alas, as it was told here, we KNOW from the second Mr. Smith-Jefferson started putting down "Andrew Lee", that the game was OVER before it got started. in real life, members who are that affluent, well-connected, well organized would not, could not, have been taken down so easily.... <p>

the fact of the matter is, if the organization was THAT potent, all these years, it could have gotten so polished, idiots like Andrew Lee would NOT have been the "mouthpiece."

they would have talked about their plans and sent someone who would truly lay everything out, on the table, by even telling the NAMES of the participating MEN (as well as the "eligible" women on the said list).... but with the intention of total intimidation: <p>

a short, "mission impossible" monologue, by "Mr. Smith" simply showing our hero post-cards, with NO VERBAL communication......:

"As you can see. You "know" all participating members; you know me; and you know all the potential targets. but the fact of the matter is, as you also know, all of us --- whether we are "judges", committee members, or participants --- have connections, credible jobs, are members of respected professions,,, we do NOT keep records.... and YOUR recordings of our conversation here, or YOUR ATTEMPT as well as your pictures of my car.... you ought to know, ARE ILLEGAL. But I am cool with such things; because NONE OF THIS HAS TAKEN PLACE! <p>

"When I leave here, I will go straight to the bathroom, burn these slips of papers into the toilet and flush them, and there won't be any records of any meeting, other than you and me simply seemingly meeting silently to go over a few statistical charts of somekind, to some observers....

"Again, Mr. Vicchi, we do NOT individually or collective keep records of any kind. the CLUB has thrived for a few decades by trusting its MOST SELECTIVE and reliable members! the "evidence" we go by are likely useless to you or any court of law. <p>

"As you have seen, by the list of names: we have some very top notch laywers as member: they are NOT stupid, simply because they want to fuck some women or kill some endangered animles like the black rhinos, etc. <p>

"Anyway, good luck to all of us..."

Now, THAT would have scared the shit out of me, too! If they are that seemingly transparent, you know they have thought deep, far, and long....

I found it funny as hell. Thanks for the good laugh.

I actually went back and read The Round Up by K.K. again and I understand your desire to balance that extreme story. Just to recap the first story, good old George allowed his wife Mary to be whored out 6 times before informing his wife that she was "live on Candid Camera!" Remember the husband gets the $1000 and videotape two weeks after the cheating occurs. What I do not undersand is why Mario did not ask his good friend George how he could let it go on for 9 months? Mary's only defense was that she was flattered by being selected to be a cheating wife. Contrary to your story at the end of K.K.'s story George was a happy cuckold and Mary was going to keep meeting the club members until the end of the contest (another 6 weeks). George jacked off to the videos of his wife's cheating. They were no victims! The natural extension of K.K.'s story would be that Mary and George enter some sort of "open marriage" arrangement.>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now your story had the exact opposite outcome than K.K. Mario ends up with a harem and being a hero exposing the bad guys. Both stories were fantasies and extreme stories. The score I gave is my way of encouraging you on this first story. I would suggest that you label stories as a fantasy so it can be treated as such.

I almost didn't read this, but am sure glad I did. It took a while to figure out where VM was going, but once I caught on, this story put a BIG smile on my face! Well done.

Loved the story but it was a little hard to to take seriously. I did like the happy ending and it was my type of revenge, non-violent.

I also almost didn't read this story.I liked the way this story unfolded-positive action,a thread of humor,and not knowing if the "good guys"were real. Risq has a different plot in his head-Write it Risq - I find no stories posted by you-use all the space you used trashing this story to write your own.Afraid of getting trashed yourself? I disliked the other story-this one rinsed that bad taste out that the other one left. Ps it's legal to tape in many states-what law says you can't take a car foto? Ever hear of red light cameras? TXJoey

Other than that I think sleepless said it all most eloquently for me (thanks).

for a change by someone who knows how to write. I can imagine how KK story infuriated you to write yours. Thank God. We don't need anymore wimps like KK would have us believe that most men are. I wonder who won all the wars this country has been in if we all are a bunch of perverted little leaky pricked tongue biters who jerk off if their wives get hit on by another man. Most men , even those who love to suck cocks aren't wimps but I feel that KK must be or he wouldn't understand it so much. MARRIEDWITHBALLS@YAHOO.COM

At first I thought this one was just a continuation of the first one. Wrong and a good thing, I liked it. Good job, great laugh and all that. The ending was a little bigger stretch then the story, but good. The only thing missing was a little help or therapy for George & Mary the founders of the feast.

My only concern is the same as expressed by GW66. It seems to me that he is doing exactly what he did not want his wife to do, namely, fucking other partners besides his spouse. Isn't there some hypocrisy in his actions at the end?

V_M

Thanks for a great story. A little tongue in cheek maybe, but a really well told tale. For those who think that the group could not have been penetrated or taken down so easily, after 35 years in law enforcement I have realized that there are none so stupid as those who think they are impervious to the rules of society, especially the rich ones. How do you think that fraudsters like Bernie Madoff are able to function, andyone with a modicum of sense that was not outweighed by greed could have seen through his scheme.

Anyway, great story

How loud can you say HAREM???

The Rise and Fall of the Omega Club...would make a great movie...minus MOST ...of the sex....Great Story.

"It seems to me that he is doing exactly what he did not want his wife to do, namely, fucking other partners besides his spouse. Isn't there some hypocrisy in his actions at the end?"

Hyprocisy is a pet peeve of mine, and although you could say that taking on the wives at the end; technically speaking could be seen as hyprocitical, I disagree. While he was against his wife being persued by these lechers, his wife actually encouraged his participation in getting together with the other wives.

On the other hand if she was against it and he persued the matter, then I would agree with Vulcun, but since she was more or less the instigtor, then I see no hyprocisy what-so-ever. I have no problem with open relationships where both parties agree with the format.

Good read VM

Cheers

Amanda

A good 'moral' read, thanks

Great action story with a healthy dose of sex! A real man fights his for wife, though the ending certainly has a funny twist!

But I read to enjoy and I did. As to the golf problem, do what I did. I convinced two or three beautiful women that the best way to watch over me was to learn golf! Now other men step on their tongues when we go play golf.

Thank you.

People of that type and intelligence would have too many layers for the events to possible. However, it was very well written and on that basis I gave it a 3. Had it been even a little realistic I would have given it a 5.

she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of her basement window

I agree it was a good read. Characters were better developed than in the original story. Very good job.

What could be better? I would have preferred more detailed and graphic sex but it was great as is. Thank you for writing.

just finished that one by k.k. and it is just a sleezy whore of a wife and her cuck husband who did not have the balls to knock the shit out of the man who told him his wife had been selected to be fucked by members of his club. instead of beating the shit out of the guy and turning his balls into mush he just goes off and elts his wife become a whore and he becomes her pimp by colelcting money for her fucking other men and then he gets off on it. i sure hope this one is better than garbage was.

you wrote a man with balls who fought for his woman instead of pimping her out. 555555 shit there is only one 5 star. ok you get my point!

Finally a story where the guy wins!!! However.. To be fair to the wife (wives?) they should get some occasional extra cock... At the Gathering... ? Swinging with mutual consent is ok, cheating not at all.

Okay I can see needing closure on KK's story (which was good but the plot made me mad as a hornet). What I don't understand is turning this into a polyamorous relationship in the end. Why? Written well enough, although writing out the Scottish Brough was unnecessary, I really began to lose interest at the end. Nothing against the current trend of polyamorous stories but just do not see the reason for it this time.

Wonderful plot, very well-written and with a curiously satisfactory ending.

Thanks

HP

It seems that 'droit de seigneur' is no longer operative in these environs! Pity!

Out fuckin' standing!

5 HUGE Stars for the little guy fighting back and keeping the "above the law" Assholes from using him and his wife.

Fun fractious fairytale, very enoyable read.

Oh, if real life was only this righteous. If only there was justice available for those of us who actually have to work for a living.

The 'right' has degenerated into dixicrat subversion and cracked teapotty nut cases.

The Bush leaguers are bumboys for their Saudi dungeon masters.

And the onepercenter's rule supreme. "Born Booted and Spurred" to ride humanity as the domesticated animals they consider us to be. While we obediently line up in the Reaganomics stockyard for a boltgun to our heads.

Great stuff! Wifey stays faithful, and they get some serious revenge on the assholes who think that hunting another man's wife for sex is nothing more than a hobby.

Gotta love the arrogance of the mega fuckin' filthy rich. K.K.'s tale was a 1 star shit pile. This one is STILL worth more than 5.

Seriously, if I could give it more than 5 stars, I would! If you've stopped writing, please come back. LW needs more tales like this one.

What the fuck did I just read? First, reading the original from K.K. was disgusting. So the author took the original couple, George and Mary, and changed them from a wimp cuck and a cheating whore to a pleasant couple with a minor infidelity issue. That I could deal with. However, after treating the Omega organization to the punishment they deserve, this breaks down to a polyamorous free-for-all where fidelity has no presence. This is a total contradictory tale which became meaningless considering what was fought against. I've read other comments saying how great this tale is but I have to disagree. However there is one more sequel to read. We'll see where that goes...

Three Stars........barely

I liked it especially after the disturbing original but thought the mulipartner conclusion destroyed the whole message of the story. Your wet dream maybe but highly unlickely and out of context

...is a dish best served with pancakes, but I've got to say, I found the story entertaining.

you stumbled at the finish. Even a Warrior can only keep up with one Cindy as you've described her. A little Italian bravado must have crept in. His or yours?

You ruined a great story with the whole sharing the wives thing. Went from a 5 to a 2.

A little over the top with the desert storm stuff. Hell, an Army JAG Officer with no combat who graduated from Command & General Staff College (me) would have told you the same thing.

Hell, a brand new Second Lieutenant fresh from the Infantry Officers' Basic Course will tell you the same thing. So he doesn't need to be a snake eater to understand Sun Tzu, Von Clausewitz, or Machiavelli.

(But this is what seems to be par for the course in Loving Wives now, so I didn't down rate it for that.)

But two monogamous people who suddenly drop all their principles and rut like Linda Ann & John Holmes on speed? Makes no sense! Too, too, too much disbelief to suspend.

I love how the tables were turned. Would have been better or a little more believable if it didn't hinge on the victims husband knowing the first perpetrator to try., other than that, pretty damn good.

hope this version is much better. Told KK it was the dumbest cuck story ever. Hire a PI and kick the shit out of one of the participants or just take the video and use it to divorce the wife after taking care of your finances. If someone wants to be a cuck, it's a free country. An unwilling cuck with a lying wife? Ahhh HELLLLL NO! Apparently it's not only the right wife they pick out, it's pussy men they pick out. KK must be a woman or a wimp.

it is MUCH better. You cleaned up the rancid cesspool that was the original. Sure the poly part at the end is over the top but I guess it IS Literotica.

Thank you.

just thought about this. Got it from a Kurt Russell story told, I think, on Carson one night and a story on Lit about a slut wife whose unwilling cuckold had a friend give his wife an STD which she then shared with her "master" and all his friends. Can't write this story on KK's site because he, wisely, did not enable comments so I'm sharing it here. As soon as husband one gets the first video, he goes out and find himself a whore with a curable STD. Gives it to his wife and then lets her pass it along to the "Sportsmen" who then pass it along to their wives and the other contest whores they bed. Then about the time it all blows up, he sends a compilation of all the videos to everyone on wifey's address list and leaves her along with the assets he's been hiding for months.

In any case, no way in hell I take her back after one much less six.

Good, but fuck, that dude's dialect was harder than hell to follow. Combine that with the Harem ending, you get 4* sir

is a pussy and didn't allow comments, I'll post this here. The obvious flaw in K.K.'s cuck story from a clearly cuck author is, collect the videos, wait till it's over and post all of them to every porn site he can find. Let the club member's faces be seen worldwide along with the story about the wives and the hunts for endangered animals. Then cut his bitch wife loose burning her as much as possible.

maybe then crowd fund an award for publicly humiliating any of the men.

Nice story. A different variation of the round up. Would like to read more about " the gathering ". sounds like an intrresting feed into maybe a female variation of the round up. ??

Had a decent beginning, and was interesting to the end. Polygamy isn't something I can understand or believe can happen.

THAT killed the story. 1 star

3 stars - there was just too much fantasy in this story.

So much that my Scots ancestors were rolling over in their graves.

However, it was great to see the assholes get their well deserved comeuppance.

Totally disagree with the multiple wives ending - it was waaaay over the top.

Wow. One actuary who was smarter than the entire FBI and the US justice department. Amazing.

The entire premise of the Omega club is hilarious.

1 they tell the husband, husband tells wife the story, wife tells the husband that a rich arsehole is hitting on her. Husband and family beat the fuck out of arsehole.

2 Husband tells wife, wife doesn’t tell husband rich arsehole is hitting on her. Plays the horizontal mambo, Husband gets $1000 (or more) instant divorce.

Original premise is/was utterly ridiculous, thats not on you. That ending though, was. While the story had plenty of weak points, your Letters to PlayBoy ending just drove this over the literary cliff.

The sissy was most eager to be made a cuck!

I thought this was a great alternative until the threesomes and polygamy. The Round Up disregards fidelity, and this couple took them down for that very crime; so how could they quickly become swingers and polygamists?

like the idea of the Omega Club and its downfall. most of this is crazy.

Too silly for me.

Terrible.

I enjoyed that. Yeah it was a little out there, but it's always nice to see justice being done and all those slimy predators put in their place. Hey he even got a few extra wives out of it at the end. Not too shabby. Yeah the poly thing was a bit weird perhaps, but hey if they're all for it, then by all means.