All Comments on 'The Rules Violation Ch. 01'

I'm sure you will get a lot of flak for this one - cheating in an open marriage scenario will surely make some peoples juices boil. However, I found the characters believable, the dialogue crisp and the story refreshingly new. I am looking forward to further installments of this tale. Well done.

...will be a fun ride! Looking forward to future installments.

I think his wife wants him to leave her. Her behavior seems to be a thinly veiled attempt to push him away bit by bit. Neither one of them has a problem with the other having partners, heck she seems to be turned on by him having his pick. The problem is that they hardly have any real intimacy to themselves anymore. What did he say, they hadn't had sex in three months? and he can't be with her within a few days of her being with someone else. That suggests that she cant even go half a week without strange di*k and she gets it so often she doesn't recognize the absence of her husbands. It's true she may love him, but with his mental state and her appetites I don't really see the marriage really progressing.

I thought you did a fairly good job with a slightly unusual plot. However, you definitely need a good editor to sort out the numerous spelling, gender, punctuation & grammar errors. It's not a major, but it becomes frustrating having to go back over a sentence to get the correct meaning, it spoils the enjoyment. 4 ****

Your other story is so good and then you drop this cucky shitbomb on us. Makes me not want to read anything of yours again. Please kill this story.

And I didn't even notice "the numerous spelling, gender, punctuation & grammar errors". Hopefully he just knocked his new lover up and will leave his wife to have a family.

*****

So... basically he throws his self worth out the window,and he becomes a lying,promise breaking ,piece of shit...just like his wife. Really? He genuinely wants to stay married to a slut that can't even keep ONE promise....never mind 3 of them? Lame. Giving it 3 stars...could have had 5 stars.. with a better ending.-BGunns

Well written but what hollow creatures.

But where do you go from here? Hubby lost all moral high ground. It's all over but the shouting.

He can't trust her and she can't control herself. How is this fixable?

Just lots of sad coming up

Especially the bit about turning off all emotional attachments in order not to break the rules. This cleared the space for the deal breaker. Like any other average guy I would love to get some pussy but do not because I have a wife that I love. So I read literotica in order to look at other relationships through the eyes of others. Give that perspective I would think that an open marriage would only function for Adonis and Aphrodite. The rest of us know that a better one will come along.....

WAS working, but now, not so much.

I suppose even the biggest supporters of open marriage will say that IF there are rules, then DUH(!), breaking them is what is causing the problems. Also, this set up makes it very clear, that what is REALLY going on, is a fundamental lack of communication. She needs to keep secrets, and they are both in denial, seemingly unable to accept that, things are getting worse. And HE might be just as bad here, not being forthcoming with his disapointment and frustration, too afraid to rock the boat, and not being demanding enough to fight for their intimacy.

I suppose that what is making this interesting, is that despite the problems, it seems that for now, they probably could "fix" things and probably stay together. But just how much worse will it get before it gets any better? I like that this guy isn't just simply whining and pining away in enforced celebacy. For a rare change, the author presents him as a hubby who (as described) helps it be explainable as to why she still wants him; why she still wants to remain marriaed. The "castrated wimp cuck" angle that other stories take can NEVER accomplish that.

I think you focused a little too much (if possible) on the sex, and not QUITE enough on the internal dialogue. But there is more than enough room to expand that out in future chapters. Achieving balance is so crucial to character driven stories like this, but you HAVE accomplished what amounts to be a 'good start'.

I hope future chapters don't take too long to prduce, or you will lose readers interest. That said, the BIGGEST blunder you can make is rushing out a chapter before it is really 'ready', and/or rushing towards a sloppy ending JUST to get it "over and done". It is still better to take your time in the end. Some one would rather reread GOOD work to re-familiarize themselves with the plotline, then to have chapters slammed into publication that just don't have the quality to sustain reader retention.

I be looking for the next, and thanks!

and very good insights into the couples inner thoughts and emotions. Looking forward to how you develop this and finish it.

You will hear about editing, I noticed several errors in the first couple pages, but it got better as the story went along.

This can go in so many ways, hope you can keep it taut like this installment and continue to build the drama.

...you have nearly nowhere to go if you continue this one.

"She'd do whatever it took to preserve things" Yeah, right, .everything exept staying faithful, even though it was clearly putting him down more and more, I very much like the way you are describing the conflict that has caught both of them and her vulnerability to Todds demands or even blackmails. Those rules needed to be obeyed without any exception. Otherwise the "open marriage" is definately doomed.

My wife and I have been active swingers for over 11 yrs. now and wittnessed many break-ups due to jealousy or covered deceit. Those whose relationships are firm and stable hold onto similar rules, kbowing that just one slip-up could (and would) most probably endanger everything. It is about trust, and trust cannot be compromized. We have known many "open marriages" - but not one has survived the trust-issue.

Seeing it realistically you have only one option left: Their marriage is over. But you can use it to play with the wide spectrum of emotions; a chance, possibly, to add drama and/or plausibility to this story. Thank you so far - 4*

I apologize, this story was an experiment by me to see if I could make an erotica work with throughly unlikeable characters. (Because my other story has so thoroughly likeable characters.)

It was an experiment, and not much more. This is an out of character story for me, and probably an experiment that once completed, won't be repeated :-)

This was four pages and a bit.

Yet you had something like 4 blow by blow sex scenes in this. Now, splendid. You are servicing the audience who wants to get prurient, which is not a bad thing.

But the word count comes at the expense of story. And frankly, one blow job is like another. Feels good. Someone comes. Wash, rinse repeat.

Unless you are wickedly good at erotic description, that becomes tedious. As a pacing issue, I would suggest this: new character interaction merits a sex scene description. So the first time Todd bangs what's her name sure. Second time? A couple of paragraphs will do. Wendy and what's his nuts? Sure. Second time? Nah

Unless it is a major plot point, like a reconciliation fuck, less is more. Look at JPB, one of the highest rated authors here. Very seldom does he have even one full blown sex scene...but he remains one of the most popular. Why? The human element is more important than the squishy element. And you are doing a good job with the emotional element, though you could write more tersely. This wasn't worth four and a bit pages. You could have done it in 3.

Keep "experimenting." Also remember LW readers can be more harsh, and score lower, than readers in most other categories. I agree, for the most part, with FD45. Another thing I noticed was repetition - mostly in the first half of the story. It often came 3-5 paragraphs later, but it was noticeable.

It is different. Cheating within an open marriage is not a topic often written about here. And your characters are not total cliches. I don't think they are "thoroughly" unlikeable, though. Unlikeable? Probably. But not thoroughly. We see their inner thoughts and - because they are not cliches - we see conflict. People who do things they know to be wrong, kid of want to stop, but are too weak or selfish to do so.

I like it and look forward to its conclusion and hope you write more like it.

Well, I agree that his wife doesn't respect him. The rules are simple and clear. She doesn't care, she blows them off. Why? Because she wants to. She could have slept with 1000 other guys anywhere outside her house and all would have well. Nope, she has to make choices that rip the rules apart. His rules. She is spitting in his face. SHE is not going to be bound by HIM. She certainly doesn't care enough for her husband to stop what she is doing.

It seems like Kyle would have been happy to NOT have an open marriage so this whole arrangement is a accommodation of Megan's lack of control. It is a contract that allows Megan to do just about anything she wants.

When people have a contract, if one party breaks the terms, the other party is released from the contract. I suspect this story is setting up a "moral equivalence" between Kyle and Megan. I don't think that is valid. If a supplier is not paid by a purchaser, the purchaser broke the contract. If the supplier then refuses to send more product to the purchaser, is the supplier the bad guy? No. The first to break the contract is the responsible party. There is no moral equivalence. Megan cheated and released Kyle from the contract.

Further, the marriage is in trouble. Megan is stepping out on Kyle. Kyle states that their sex sessions are physical not emotional. That is a serious problem. Maybe to accommodate the open marriage they have both reduced sex to a "physical need" so as not to feel guilty about it. The idea is the emotional needs will be met outside of sex. But sex is the powerful glue that binds the physical to the emotional. In this marriage, the glue has been deliberately dissolved.

For Megan and Kyle the open marriage has been subtly corrosive to their relationship.

The writing is good but Megan's rambling are tedious. She is a slut that probably should never have gotten married or married a guy who was willing to let her screw around as she wished. Such a marriage would probably have lacked the depth of connection she seems to want. She wants the freedom of singleness and the connectedness of marriage. It doesn't work that way because the concepts of freedom and connectedness are contradictory. Mature people understand that but Megan doesn't want to grow up.

in this case certainly not to build relationship. The writing is good, as always, but the characters are totally unsympathetic and soulless. Why get married? I guess to file jointly.

This needs a followup chapter or story. Somehow it seems inevitable that the two who have been cheated on, will actually fall in love because the sex means more to them than it does to their respective partners. There is also the potential pregnancy issue and children, which is probably an attraction. You have planted the seeds in the last few paragraphs, so go ahead and grow the story.

OK - I see now that this is chapter one - DOH!

I would give it more but the writing feels cold and distant. Almost like detached observers rather than the actual participants. The plot is quite good however.

When husband realized what had been missing in sex with wife your score went from four to five. That point had not entered my mind before.

For love of his wife he ate the plate of shit she presented him. All he asked was a little, tiny little respect for his boundaries. So sad that she is so damaged as to risk love for a little inconvenience and have sex away from home.

Enjoyed the read. Thanks

You've done a very good job of setting the stage with this couple. It seems that their marriage was doomed from the very beginning, and they both seem to realize that. I think the story would have been better served if you had elaborated a bit more on why they married each other in the first place.

Lack of communication is the death of any marriage, whether it's open or not. This couple not only doesn't communicate, but they even established rules to prevent communication. Not good.

FD45's comment was spot-on, and excellent advice for all Lit authors.

FD45 was spot on with a good critique. As a personal note, what are some substitute reactions to a smirk? It seemed to be a reaction that came up frequently.

With respect to the characters, like most stories, this is another that shows what happens when the players are emotionally holding back and there is no true, open, dialog and communication. Kyle comes up with ways to deal with, and accommodate, Megan (the rules and not sleeping with her when she has recently slept with someone else) while becoming more and more interpersonally withdrawn to protect himself from the emotional train wreck he subconsciously knows is coming. Megan will never be happy, her character lives for the thrill. When new men don't do it for her she ratchets it up a notch to break the rules by first sleeping with someone they know, then doing it in her home, and then starting to fall for him. She knows it will end in disaster, but that's the point. Having Kyle and Juliette join the wrecking crew so soon limited the options but I still look forward to seeing how it plays out.

Overall, I liked the premise of cheating in an open marriage. Thanks for giving us something to think about.

Well written, but the plot is too weak...As soon as she broke the rules, the marriage was finished...Now he and the lover's wife have found out about it and have cheated too...Soon the shit will get the fan...That's the part that will allow the story to be good or just 2*, like in this part...The confrontation part, the consequences part that will define the story...

very well written. i like it, thank you.

FD45 wrote one of the best critiques I have read. I agree with his discussion about the sex scenes. After one, and I like this!, it is just wash, rinse , repeat. They add nothing to character development or the story.

So, where do we go from here? The rules are shot to hell on both sides. So, where is the conflict? Without conflict there is no story just serial fuck scenes and we already discussed that.

Yeah, I know that there are people who are going to disagree with what I am about to say, but, in general, open marriages don't last. Yeah, a few do. But even Masters and Johnson, the gurus of sex when I was coming up admitted that open marriages lack the intimacy to endure. If they did, there would be far less divorces. Fucking someone else outside of your marriage is greatly frowned upon.

And right now, that is what these people have. Yeah, Kyle can get all nose bent about his precious wife but he hasn't a leg to stand on. Megan can't say shit because she was slutty going into the marriage.

The point is, by having the other two fuck, unless they are going to divorce and marry, a pretty trite story point, you have no where to go!

Waiting for Chapter 2, Welcome to Divorce Court.

This was part 1, I suppose. Please not another story with this rubbish..

It's odd to listen to Megan. She wants Kyle after she has been with Todd, she said she didn't like breaking the rules but continues to do what she wants. She even said it was Kyle who started the whole thing, of course that was after she had already cheated. BUT THE WORST WAS, SHE NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT NOT HAVING SEX WITH HER HUSBAND FOR THREE MONTHS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yawn.....is the first thing that happened while trying to read it all. stupid dumb characters is the first that came to my mind. not interested in a single one of those little kid minds. I want, I want I want. possible development ? none ! no feelings towards nobody existing. so what should develop. I guess I go back to reading my telephone book. you see every page has a new number. 1, 2, 3 something new. and new names with starting with a and then b. hey a new letter wow. that's a development and how far will it go ? really exciting

Ignore the brotherhood of misery! They get off putting other people down. I could identify with the characters and totally understand Kyle. I stepped into your world for a bit and that is what a story is supposed to accomplish.

"Ignore the brotherhood of misery! They get off putting other people down."

<P>

And calling them the brotherhood of misery is nothing but putting them down. At least they concentrate on the story while the first words of your comments are slamming them for daring to have a different opinion. You’re a fucking hypocrite. If ANYONE should be ignored, it’s you.

but this one caught my interest. Swingers with rules. One breaks them, now the other breaks them too. What's the outcome? That's going to be the interesting part of this story. You got me hooked on this one, damn somebody should flog me for breaking my own rules of not reading swinging stories. This author does know how to put words into sentences, a plus for this site. (ML)

The rules of an open marriage are just like marriage vows: a mutual agreement or contract. Once one partner violates them, the agreement is broken and the other is morally, if not legally, released from it.

Good story but I'm sorry I read it.

Don't usually like 'open marriage' stories, since it is difficult to generate much tension or drama. This tale, however, starts with high tension and it escalates. Masterful authorship.

Quibble: Editing is less than masterful. A healthy bunch of small goofs. The authorship is WAY too good to be let down (even a little) by the writing (mechanics!)

5* (despite quibble.)

I am unsure what to expect and I don't even have an idea of what I want to happen in this story. I'll just ride it till it drops. He can have children. The wife's best friend can have them. That has been mentioned, so it seems like it will be a major part of the plot. The flawed relationship and characters make this fascinating. There's no need to insult the characters. They aren't real, but their thoughts and troubles seem real. I like this story and I'm not even sure why!

This was hot and I look forward to more and I hate lying cheating sneaky people. Hopefully he will fall in love with her and they will divorce so they can marry each other and have kids. Why his wife needs to break the rules when he allows her to fuck other, that should be enough to at least keep all the rule . She knows he is not really into her style but goes along with it but had to betray his rules and her best friend. It's not enough that he allows her to act like a pig but she has to let one of his friends have something over him . That's totally humiliating. He must confront her and put all the cards on the table

Wish I could buy you a Beer or a cup of coffee and listen to you tell stories

All the good, relevant comments have been made. Looking forward to the rest of the story.

I hope you are writing another part to this. 5 stars.

The characters were quite realistic, but skewed. I assume in most open marriages, outsiders are occasionally used, but here the whole marriage has collapsed. Kyle's not had sex with his wife tor three months? Jesus! She's having a full blown affair, and he's oblivious to it all. Yeah he's had suspicions, but really doesn't seem to care. You make a very good point that if you separate love and affection from sex, then sex with your spouse instead of bringing them together, might be nothing more than just more sex, independent of love and affection. New thought to me.

As to where to go next, I'd vote for the tables to turn, he has a full blown affair with Juliette, and knockes her up. His wife realizes she's gone overboard and trys to get her marriage on track, but it's too late. Lots of opportunity for drama.

Keep it up

Chilley

They confront the spouses and switch permanently and then push out four or five rug rats to raise up. Cheaters continue on with their open marriage.

No, no, no. He should separate from Megan first, then woo, fuck, marry Todd's wife, not necessarily in that order. Sorry Megan, but you are damaged goods. The whole god damned relationships are so fucked up that they just need to sit down and decide who wants what. Megan wants variety, Kyle should let her have it, with some other partner. Todd wants Megan, fine, take her; you already have been! Megan wants her cake and eat it too? Souls in hell want ice water.

Wow, what disturbing writing. Hate the story, but love the writing. More!

I really really liked this. Nice writing, you've got a great style! Thanks, and I'm eager to read chapter 2.

This is pretty good. Setting out to write a story with unlikeable characters sounds a lot like masochism to me. Can you enjoy writing like that? Actually, you failed a little. Kyle has promise if you give him a set in chapter two. I agree the sex scenes dominated too much. The reader is led through long description to get through to continued story. Still, good stuff.

a star (only 4 of 5) because of the many "he/she" issues and other matters that caused me to have to re-read to figure out what was intended. I haven't read any of your other work, but this one definitely needed an editor. Otherwise, I enjoyed it because of the sex, which is the reason I come to (and occasionally "cum at") Literotica.

Excellent story. At this stage, reminds me a little of the set ups from some of Ohio's stories. Can't give it a 5 because there were too many obvious editing errors, but I really like the story itself.

Too many mistakes which detract from this otherwise very fine story. That being said, it was exceptionally well written in form and style, and I gave it five stars. Keep up the good work!

I just read, in one day, your full I am jacks life in ebook on Amazon. Damned was it good. Smart, funny, sad, insightful, sexy and crisp. You are a talented dude. Stick with us on LW. This 1st story is good. It explores a different area with characters that a flawed , but not one dimensional. That, in and of itself, is an accomplishment here.

Loved reading your stuff and it was an honor to pay a couple of bucks to get it in ebook and hopefully get a few pesos heading your way.

This situation was doomed from the start - I get the feeling that he never really wanted an open marriage, an d only agreed to it because the alternative was the probable eventual end to their marriage.

Now his aversion to sloppy seconds has essentially ruined their sex life, and she has been violating the rules, so they have basically gone from an open marriage to plain old cheating without actually acknowledging it.

And he has compounded things by violating the rules himself, and he doesn't even know yet the full extent of her violations.

I can only see three possible outcomes:

1) A COMPLETELY open marriage, forget "rules". I don't see him accepting this.

2) Monogamy - I don't believe that she can do this.

3) Divorce.

...ended this story with 3-4 more paragraphs.

He and Juliette just discovered something...neither one is up for an open marriage, she knows she would want a permanent relationship with him and he...he has just begun to realize that Juliette is probably the best future on the horizon. A paragraph to work out saving her money and investments and it is over!

This story is just silly.

As you can see most of us like this story and are looking for an ending. Does he leave his wife? Does he find love elseware ,the only conclusion I can come up with is ,he has to leave his wife and have a normal marriage and maybe some children to complete the Union. So please do part 2 . This story is different than most and you have done an excellent job with it so far. Do not be detoured by your critics .look at the rating and most loved it. Thank you.

There's a stew here of existentialism, self interest, despair and rampant passion. I have deep reservations about all the characters, but there's no question of their ability to be of interest. To me, the story scenes are toploaded in locale of bedroom to be a hall of fame quality as mentioned before in previous comments.

I simultaneously thank Finis and implore him to mix up the backdrops beyond boudoir and shower cubicles. Full marks are given in the expectation that this author's obvious talent transmutes regardless of immediate locus and turf. *****

I loved this story! Thank you!

I really liked this. Want to read more!!

Can't wait 'til the next chapter.

Come on. He hasn't had sex with his wife in three months because she's too busy fucking around breaking their own rules and you think there's a moral highground to lose? Is there an award he'll get from the Chamber of Commerce maybe? A medal saying "I kept the moral highground." He can be proud pinning that to his chest.

No. The only thing to lose is his wife and she's already left.

And I don't know why. This guy is a 40 year old college professor who uses his position to bang vulnerable and impressionable young women. If you don't think girls at that age a vulnerable you never raised a daughter. He is currently banging a much younger subordinate who happens to be in what sounds like a serious if not committed relationship. Someone said by fucking Todd's wife he lost the moral high ground. Someone like Kyle has no moral high ground to lose.

Sure his wife is a selfish cunt who has no respect for him. Or the other hand he bangs kids and cast them aside and fucks his subordinates. They're assholes who deserve one another.

Oh yea my initial comment was my visceral reaction to the story it took me a minute to sort out why I thought the story was so sad. It's because every character save Juliette is a POS. Other than her there is no one to root for. And it looks like she will end up with a hypocrite like Kyle.

... lousy editing. e.g. "he slid the first third of his shift inside of her"

Excellent point. These characters are ALL bad. Finis as much as said so when he said he wanted to experiment with a story where everybody was thoroughly unlikeable. Megan's a cheater; Kyle's a predator; Todd is a cheater (and breaker of the bro code); and Juliette is all about the money (she doesn't want a divorce because of financial reasons).

Kyle is NOT a good guy. In addition -or worse- than then coeds is the 18 year old. Remember when Megan mused "She knew about Jessie, the eighteen year old that lived down the block two years ago." Let me tell you, as the father of a 16 year old daughter and a 19 year old daughter, that if a 40 year old down the block was having sex with them, that said 40 year old would not see 41.

And Megan's such a prize. When she thought about the 18 year old, she mused further that she's "honestly worried about that one. Not for the girl, but for what the girl might tell her parents if she got scared." Lovely.

There is nobody to root for here.

"Everyone seems to be on team Kyle

And I don't know why. This guy is a 40 year old college professor who uses his position to bang vulnerable and impressionable young women."

They aren't kids. They are adults. Vulnerable as they may be they are responsible for their actions and are basically sluts. Unless you beleive they have no free will and cant utter the word no. I don't recall Kyle forcing himself on anyone.

" Someone said by fucking Todd's wife he lost the moral high ground. Someone like Kyle has no moral high ground to lose."

Kyle really didn't want an open marriage, he'd be happy with just his wife but gave in realizing she'd cheat or leave him. That's what sluts do. She broke the rules so he didn't need to follow them either. Maybe they could all live happily as a foursome. Or not... So Finis what happens when the proverbial excerment hits the fan? No Kyle didn't loose the moral high ground. It's just like self defense. Someone takes a swing at you you are more than justified to swing back. And just what kind of love is it in their open marriage?

I hipe you finish it.

Whatever you or I think about his sexual activities is moot in regards to this situation.

The question is, did he abide by the rules THEY set up as to sexual relations outside their marriage, and IMHO HE did, but SHE didn't!

THAT is what gives him the "moral high ground".

You are right that, vi-a-vis the wife, Kyle has followed the rules and she hasn't. No question.

But, I think the point of morality was that these are both very immoral characters. Sure, even a thief can get robbed and the person who robs him is wrong on that case, but it's hard to feel bad for him or her. That's how I feel about Kyle. He has been wronged by his wife. No doubt. But he is not a good guy and so his being wronged bothers me less then others being wronged.

While I agree with your basic point, this particular discussion was in relation to FD45's comment that he lost the moral high ground IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP by fucking Todd's wife.

FD45 wasn't talking about whether Kyle was particularly moral, and neither was I!

It covers emotions, sexuality, (in)fidelity, loyalty, even love. While the choice of how to live and love may not be one in which some of us would willingly participate, the "Rules" as defined by the author formulate the foundation upon which all discussion by us, the readers, must be based.

Yes, Kyle took his pleasures among the young and vulnerable coeds he mentors. Yes, he knew Megan was spending more time with other(s) than with him. No he did not begrudge her the pleasure she found elsewhere. But, he still worked within the framework of the Rules.

Todd did not live in an open marriage. He was not granted the freedom to play with others outside his relationship with his wife. He also knew the limitations (Rules) by which Megan was supposedly bound. And yet, he deliberately and frequently broke his personal vows and pushed Megan to ignore the commitment she had made to Kyle.

Megan was cheating and Todd was cheating.

What is cheating in an open marriage? Knowing what has been agreed by the participants and not keeping within those boundaries. Same as it would be in any situation.

Todd did not honor the agreement he had with his wife, Juliette. Megan, knowingly and willingly failed to keep her agreement with Kyle.

Did Kyle and Juliette find a way to resolve their broken homes? Yes. Was it the only way it could or should have been done? No. But once again the author has defined the circumstances by which Kyle and Juliette are constrained. They no longer wanted to sit on the outside and watch what Megan and Todd were doing. Juliette, upon considerable consideration, did not feel it was in her best interests to divorce. Finally knowing the extent to which Megan had shattered "like so many shards of glass" each and everyone of the Rules, Kyle succumbed to the seduction on offer by Juliette.

It would be interesting to know what happened next. I would be especially curious to see the reaction Todd has to learning what Juliette has learned and done as a result of his betrayal. Megan, I suspect, will have a moment of introspection, and remorse once she discovers the self inflicted ruination of her safe and secure home life.

...love coming real and engaging as we come to understand them from their thoughts (POV), their dialogs, your narratives as they all weave us into your story.

Thank you.

I found some of the reading rising to the level of annoying, because you were careless about your mixing gender in both narrative and POV "thoughts". Things like, "Megan held her breasts from below, reaching 'his' fingers around to her nipples, pinching them." This is not a quote from the story, but an example of gender-mixing in the narrative. You missed that probably a dozen times.

You also misspelled far too many things to ignore. BTW, "too" is used a dozen times or more in place of "to", in so,e places it changes the meaning, in others, it just irritates.

Please, PLEASE, either put some real work into editing, or ask one of the volunteer editors in this space to assist you.

You tell such intriguing stories....please make them represent you and your talent with better integrity. It is the high ground, where you belong, but must do some additional work to refine and polish to get it where it should be.

And to anyone that poo-poos my comment, just remember, if the pros do it, it must be important.

If you don't care, then you really aren't the writer I think you are.

Thanks, and looking for a cleaner chapter 2.

I agree with you. I had read OP's statement about moral high ground more broadly than he wrote it. You are right.

Very good writing! I will be wanting the next chapter soon! This was good stuff.

This is at JohnnyM and KarenE.

If my wife decides to steal a candy bar, she becomes a criminal. If I also steal a candy bar, I become a criminal.

Now, I can see how you see it as less an absolute morality thing and more of a broken contract: if she fucks aroud, she has no kick if he does too.

I am looking at it more from an absolute moral standpoint. Violations exist on both sides now. It is certainly a gray area and I don't begrudge you your opinions.

but hey, she brought the incoming shitstorm on herself.

Gonna suck real bad to be her I'll wager

Really liked it can't wait for more

I suspect that both original marriages will end up in the scrap heap. Lot's of failure to communicate and generally just some bad ideas.

Had lots of potential but already ruined for me because its too long between chapters. The first chapter gets forgotten before the next one is available, it happens time and time again.

this tale really hit home as my ex and i had an open relationship,,,but she broke rule 3,,on purpose, her agenda was to find someone more financially fixed,, oh well!,,enjoyed this tale, want more,,well written and well paced,,good job!

I only have a few problems with the story, the writing however is great. I've been in an open marriage for 15 years, its not for everyone but it can last and be great. Rules are great, but you never break 'em. That being said, I wouldn't have agreed to these rules. You can't take love out of the equation. It is not a finate resource. Anyway, 4 *'s (only because it is rather long).

Really enjoyed the story but it certainly needs another chapter or two to develop the new pairing.

Five pages????? WTF

More please.

An honest to goodness great effort. I'd love to have a second chapter and see where the violations get rectified. You've painted a nice panorama to develop from.

As one who have been married for 45 years I believe that a husband or a wife can stray and indulge in the occasional fling to keep the marriage alive and interesting. That's provided no one is the wiser and nobody got hurt. 

But I'm not sure about an open marriage with "rules." The fact that a married couple agrees to have frequent liaisons with other partners, with or without rules, but without guilt, is something unnatural and any rules to be complied with in this respect only mocks the marriage vows. I'm not a prude but I do not subscribe to such acts in a civilised society.

I particularly admire the descriptions of smells and tastes, an important element of intimacy which most authors ignore. Great job! Please continue the story.

I enjoy your story, but find it deeply frustrating to find sentences like this:

" he pulled her self up and brushed his lips across his slowly" (Page 4 Ch. 1)

Besides that, there are far, far too many silly typos

A nice start for a hot series.

but then again what is fantasy for?

The marriage that never was.

a 5 for your effort and content

Great story.

You posted this almost a year ago. Please continue it,

another asshole who stops at cp1

There is PLENTY of sperm "leaking" out before orgasm.

Pulling out does NOT prevent pregnancy!

Open or not, a marriage is complicated. That's its nature.

The only difference is that an open marriage tends to be more eventful.

Having been in an open marriage for 25+ years the only rule we ever had was save your deepest love for your spouse. You can care about your lovers because it makes the sex better. It can be with anyone, anytime and anywhere. Just make sure you don't keep secrets..

Megan broke ALL the rules. Kyle should divorce Megan and marry Juliette. They just fit together better. No pun intended.

Two of a kind

A shame this wasn't continued, but I'm imagining him realising that he married the wrong woman, and in time getting a divorce, and finding someone capable of being faithful.

wimpy cuck shit.

Finish the damn story, well written good beginning; you just need to wrap it up;or let someone else do it - we can't depend on FTDS anymore. Thanks.