The Shared Drive

"Well she kind of comes as part of the package."

"I'm listening you know!"

"No, you're not, you're making noises with you mouth."

"Mum!"

"Seriously, I would love it if you agreed. I kind of like having Ezz's company and adding you in to the mix would make it perfect."

"Jim. That's really sweet of you, yes I'll come and stay. You must let me cook for you too."

"Mum's a really good cook,"

"I bet she is, OK let's do that." I gripped their hands and was rewarded by smiles all round. For some unknown reason Claire's smile gave me a real buzz. I stood and stretched my legs. We were interrupted by a nurse to say we would have to go in five minutes. I glanced at my watch and said I'd wait outside for Ezz. I leaned in and kissed Claire's cheek. Her hand came up and touched mine. I nodded slowly, touched Ezz's shoulder and said I'd wait outside. Ezz bounded out two minutes later and hugged me, before stepping back and asking if there was anything to eat at home.

The following day was pretty much the same, breakfast, chores, drive to the hospital, spend the morning with Claire, go home and do some more chores, although with Ezz around it was never dull. It was like have a mix of Louise and Robbie back in the house, serious talks with bursts of lunacy thrown in. Friday morning as Ezz and I were eating a lazy breakfast the phone rang. I answered and heard Claire, she was trying to say something but her voice was high and she was talking very fast.

I tried to interrupt when Ezz took the phone from me. She listened and offered Uh-Huh's several times before putting the phone down. She looked at me then leapt into my arms, "Mum's coming home, they're releasing her this afternoon, we can go collect her after four today. She held her head to my chest and wept. I put my arms around her and just held her, tears falling from my eyes.

The day dragged until at three fifteen we left for the hospital. The drab brick buildings we passed along the way, remnants of the towns glorious past, seemed to have a new colour a fresh vibrance. We parked and almost ran down the corridors to get to the ward. Ezz had a small carry all with her, containing fresh clothes for her mother. We buzzed together, our hands overlapping. Ezz positively sprinted into the ward, disappearing towards her mothers room. I ambled along seeing Dodge at the nurses station, signing forms and checking the time.

"What's up Doc?" I parodied Bugs Bunny, he turned and smiled.

"Jim, well here they are, Claire is officially discharged into your care, once you sign on the dotted line. He held the forms up and waggled them. Putting them back on the flat top of the desk he held a pen out. I grabbed it and signed willingly in the box underneath the one with Claire's signature. I had officially absolved the hospital of any further care and responsibility, unless or until she had to be re-admitted. I handed him the pen and he clicked it off symbolically finishing his involvement in her care at the hospital. He was however, her ongoing psychiatric doctor and she would have to attend weekly one to one's with him for the foreseeable future.

Although "would" was not "must" and it was not unusual for patients to believe themselves better before they were and to stop taking their medication in the mistaken belief that they were "cured". I watched as he carefully filed the forms in Claire's notes, then handed them to the nurse, who placed them on a trolley ready for collection. I heard a slight commotion behind me and turned to see Ezz leading Claire from her room. Struggling with her bags, as she beamed at me, I stood stunned. Claire was only wearing little makeup, just some lipstick and a little eyeliner. At her neck a simple twist of gold as a necklace.

She wore a form fitting white blouse and simple black skirt, which feel to her knees, on her feet were a pair of black court shoes, whilst over all this a simple white raincoat, belted but open. Her hair was washed and it had been blow dried into a spray of beautiful lustrous brunette hair which hung to her shoulders. She looked absolutely stunning, I realised that my mouth was hanging open and closed it with a snap. Claire smiled and the world lit up. Late on I noticed that she had to gold stud earrings, elegant and understated, it was perfection. Ezz walked her over to the nurses station, dropping the bags by my feet.

"Hello you!" I managed, before stepping forward and gently folding Claire into a gentle hug. Her arms immediately circled my back and pulled me tightly to her. We swayed slightly and held for what seemed like hours but was probably only a matter of seconds. During this time I could smell her shampoo, apple and something. Her shower gel, again apple and something and a hint of perfume. We stepped back, Ezz grinning from ear to ear just to the side of Claire. She reached for Claire's hand and they moved to each other.

"Come on," I said eagerly, "Let's go home." Claire nodded and I saw her grip Ezz's hand tightly. I picked up her bags and hefted them to my shoulder. Dodge reminded Claire about her Tuesday appointment and handed her a card with the details on it. Claire tucked it into her pocket and shook Dodges hand, he placed his other hand over hers and patted it. Stepping back he motioned towards the ward door and so we walked towards it, Ezz, Claire and I.

Ezz was talking non-stop and holding Claire's hand in a death grip, but it didn't seem to bother either of them. We made our way to the car and I placed the bags in the boot. Claire went to sit in the back, and I noticed Ezz pause. "Sit with your Mum," I said gently, she nodded and walked to the other side. As they belted up, I started the car and also slid my seat belt on. Going down to the barrier we slowly exited the car park.

"Guys," I said, "do you want to celebrate and go Italian? We need to eat and I must admit, I feel quite hungry."

"Me too!" Said Ezz and looked at Claire.

"What are we celebrating?"

"Claire we're celebrating you coming home, we're celebrating being alive, being with friends and family."

"Gosh, now you mention it, I do feel peckish, OK, let's do it, where do you suggest?"

"Jim, you know where; I want meatballs."

"OK Kid, buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy ride."

"Bette Davis, Now Voyager, I love that film."

"You like classic films?"

"Love them; African Queen, Casablanca, Maltese Falcon, All about Eve, Lost Horizon, King Kong..."

"39 Steps, It Happened One Night, Philadelphia Story, Bringing up Baby, Double Indemnity..."

"Whoah, whoah, what are you guys talking about.?'

"Films Ezz, classic Hollywood films."

"Oh Boy! This is terrible, you two liking the same films."

"We'll always have...."

"Meatballs?"

"Ezz!" We said together and laughed and suddenly I realised how much I loved the sound of laughter. In shockwave of instant reality I realised I liked Claire's laughter. No, I loved Claire's laughter, so like her daughters but so much more exciting.

It alarmed me, this was sudden and unplanned, whatever else I was a sane rational man and I usually had every part of my existence planned. I had my sequences, my pattern, my shape, this was random and not part of a pattern. My love for Molly was a pattern, a sequence. We went from sweethearts to a couple, to Mr and Mrs, to Mum and Dad, to In-Laws it was all planned. I was looking forward to Nanny and Grandad, then it had all been ripped away, taken from me, unplanned. I hated unplanned... usually. But, there it was that beautiful sweet musical cadence, I wanted to hear it again and again.

What the hell was happening to me? Was this a new sequence, one that had crept up and caught me unawares? I tried to concentrate on driving, listening to the pair of them nattering and enjoying each others company. I lost track of time and realised I had driven on auto pilot again, this time to the restaurant. Ezz and Claire got out and I saw Claire's eyes taking in the place. Her eyes were wide and sparkling. I locked the car and led the way in. At the door I stopped and opened it, letting the women in first.

A waiter came over and asked if we had reservations I said no and he looked a bit startled, but by happenstance a waiter we had seen several times at lunchtime came over and spoke to our greeter. After a few seconds he nodded and picked up menu's stretching his arm out to point the way. The waiter we knew smiled and offered us a good evening, winking at Ezz, she blushed and smiled.

We followed the waiter to a small table by the window, set for four, he swept the menu's onto the place settings and carefully removed the additional cutlery and coasters. I sat opposite Claire and Ezz. They went to sit but Claire wanted to take her coat off, a passing waiter offered to hang it up for her, swishing it away and to a coat rack in the corner. She sat and I looked at her deep blue eyes, imagining falling head first into those deep pools.

"What?"

"Uhh! Nothing, just you both look so beautiful sitting there. I just can't stop staring, I'm so sorry."

"It's been a while since anyone, let alone a handsome man, looked at with anything but contempt. I'm happy you want to look, look away Jim, it's very pleasant."

"Thank you; you know you could be sisters," I joked.

"You big old softy,"

"Thank you Esme, bring me down to earth with a bump, why don't you." I giggled.

Claire looked around and seemed to like the place, this was good as Ezz and I loved it. It felt strange because I was familiar with the place and so was her daughter, but having Claire here made it new and unique. She looked at me looking at her and her hand came across the table, I took it and held it, just our fingers touching.

"Thank you Jim, this is gorgeous, do you come here often?" She lifted her eyebrow and smiled.

"Jim and I have been a couple of times, the meatballs are brilliant."

"Oh! So you bring my daughter here regularly do you?"

"We like it, we like it a lot, but, with you here is just got a whole lot more interesting."

"Stop flirting with my mum you!"

"Why? She's a very beautiful woman, although to be honest, her daughter can be a pain in the..."

"OI! I represent that, I'm not, I'm, headstrong, impetuous, outspoken and simply fun to have around."

"You're all that Ezz and a whole lot more. Truthfully I think you are amazing, so full of life and energy, oops here comes the waiter."

We hadn't even looked at the menu's, but again as I was driving I knew it would be low or no alcohol beer for me. Claire asked for a spritzer, as we were celebrating, junior had the inevitable cola. The waiter nodded and disappeared, then returned with the usual platter of bread, olives, oil and vinegar. Ezz reached for the bread and I slapped her hand away, once, twice, on the third attempt I let her take a piece. She tore a chunk off and fed her face.

Claire took a piece and dipped it in the oil then vinegar. Placing it to her parting lips. That lipstick was such a delicate shade of red. Her mouth opened to accept it and I felt my mouth close as she closed hers. I blinked and reached for a piece for myself. "Wapp!" I felt a stinging blow and moved my hand back, A grin over her face Ezz raised her eyebrows as she nodded.

"Goose, Gander." She winked and sat back, I felt it in my belly and as my back arched I bellowed with laughter, Claire looked round as if to check for others, her face blushing. Ezz had tears in her eyes, her laughter rocking her small frame. I saw Claire loosening up and she finally joined in, as though it felt good to release. The waiter a grin on his face came to deposit the drinks on the table. As he left, I picked up my glass.

"To life, and good times ahead,"

"Life and good times." We clinked glasses over the table and I supped on my drink. No alcohol, or low alcohol, just doesn't quite make it, but needs must and a clear head on the drive home was a necessity and the law. We looked down and studied the menu. It was different from the lunchtime menu. I was relieved to spot the dish with meatballs and knew at least someone would be happy. Finally I took a piece of bread and tore off a portion, following Claire's example and dipping it in oil and vinegar. Decisions, decisions I thought.

"Gotta be meatballs."

Do you not want to try something else?"

"No, not really, I love the meatballs,"

"Fair enough, but the whole list looks delicious."

"Hmm, yes it does, what would you recommend, apart from meatballs that it?"

" The sea bream is fantastic, I remember that from last year, I liked it. The Osso Bucco is really good. If you're looking for pasta the pasta alla Funghi is good, as is Frutti di Mare, that's seafood. Or what about a Calzone, kind of a pizza rolled over into a semi circle."

"Seafood sounds perfect, that's two of us decided, so Jim, what'll you have?"

"Well the Carbonara looks good, yes that's me decided. Do you want any other nibbles, or are you both saving yourselves for dessert?"

"What do you think Ezz?"

"Dessert!" We all said together and dissolved into laughter.

As we settled Claire raised her glass and I found myself looking at her lips as they sparkled slightly in the lights in the restaurant. She swallowed and I watched her throat move as she accepted the liquid into herself. A foot bounced against mine. I looked across the table at Ezz, her eyes were sparkling, she made a bow of her lips and indicated her mum, I grinned and winked. Her face lit up and her eyes widened, she mouthed "Really!", I nodded.

"OK you two what's going on?"

"Nothing, other than I am enjoying the company of you both."

"Flattery will get you everywhere buster."

"I sure hope so."

"Yuk!"

"Says the voice of reason and insanity."

The waiter arrived back and we gave our orders, I asked for a side of green salad, Claire asked for the same. Cheekily Ezz asked for extra meatballs and we all laughed.

We settled back and I asked what they wanted to do over the weekend. Claire said she needed to get home and check everything out, do the washing and look at her accounts and bills. Ezz lowered her face and I detected a sea of worries flood across her brows. I nodded.

"Look Claire, this is none of my business, but Ezz has let me know you have a few financial..."

"Stop right there Jim. Do not go where you were heading, OK? Just leave it." It was said with conviction, firmly, but with no anger or malice.

"I understand but I'm here for advice and help, just so you know, no pressure, no interference. Jus being neighborly ma'am." The last part I delivered in a terrible American Deep Southern drawl. We British don't do accents well, do we? Claire smiled, but it wasn't more than mouth deep, her eyes were flint.

"I appreciate that Jim, I really do, but part of my road to recovery is taking on the running of the house and facing up to the reality of owning my own home. That includes the good parts, getting on with the neighbours; and the bad, unclogging the toilet. Just so you know."

"Fair enough, point taken; I am here, you know you just have to yell, although not so loud if I'm sitting next to you."

Claire's hand came back across the table, her delicate fingers sitting over mine. She nodded and patted my hand. "You're a good man Jim."

"You're a real lioness Claire, you have guts and tenacity. I admire you for confronting this head on. As you know I lost Molly and I went to pieces, it's taken a long time for me to recover. I understand and I appreciate what you're doing."

"I nearly lost everything Jim. But now, with David Dodge's help and your support, I'm really going to have a shot at this adulting thing." She smiled and this time her whole face lit up, her eyes included, sparkling in the light. My God I could drown in those deep blue pools that were her eyes. Then I realised, this woman was a good fifteen years younger than me, what was I thinking. My face must have slipped and Claire picked up on it immediately.

"Penny Jim..."

"Huh!, Oh, nothing, nothing important."

"You sure? you look lost."

"Just remembering, you know, other happy times."

Her hand came over mine again, but this time she picked it up and laced her fingers through mine, gently squeezing. "They'll be others Jim, I'm sure of that."

She held my hand until the meals arrived, then she unlaced her hand and rubbed her palms together. "This is going to be so much better than hospital food," she said as her eyes and nose took in the look and smell of her meal. The waiter popped a salad bowl by Claire and I, then another water arrived with a small silver dish and placed it by Ezz. She gasped as in the dish, in the thick tomato sauce, were six additional meatballs. She smiled and rubbed her flat tummy, Claire shook her head laughing and I sat open mouthed.

We started to tackle our meals, enjoying the aroma of everyones choice. I teased a piece of mine onto a spare spoon and offered it to Ezz, she smelled it and then slowly inched forward, her lips opening and closing over the morsel. She sat back and savoured it. "Hmm not bad, but the meatballs are better," she used a dessert spoon and sliced a quarter of a meatball off, then offered it to me. I inched in and slowly engulfed it. "Not bad, but the Carbonara's a better choice for me. Ezz speared another piece of meatball and offered it to Claire, she too slowly moved to take the portion.

"Mmm, that's lovely, but mine"s better", taking a small piece of calamari she offered it to Ezz, who pulled it off and chewed. "Nah! Meatballs every time." She happily returned to hoovering up the meatballs and sauce. Claire turned to me and using her dessert spoon containing another piece of calamari, offered it to me. I accepted and slipped the morsel into my mouth, it was very good. "Mmm, may be I made the wrong choice, that's very good." We continued on and eventually Ezz poured the additional meatballs onto her place and proceeded to demolish them as well. Patting how now slightly swollen stomach, she placed a hand over her mouth and belched quietly.

Claire looked up and grinned, "Well that was almost ladylike." Ezz smiled and unwisely took a large swig of cola, then sat back a look of contentment on her face. I waited, and paused in my eating, I needed a clear mouth. Sure enough, shortly after this Ezz had a look of fear about her, she looked round desperately, I knew the room was barely peopled. Probably less than five seconds later a real foghorn of a belch traveled from somewhere near Ezz's boots, moving up her body and erupting from her open mouth before she could stifle it. Claire looked up in alarm, I started to giggle and Ezz blushed crimson. "Esme Alice Collins, what an earth do you think you're doing?" She stage whispered.

I turned away from them and placed my napkin in my mouth. I saw a waiter smile and his colleague said something and they both turned towards the bar, I could see their shoulders moving up and down, however, but it was a nice gesture. Finally in control, I turned back to my meal; as I did so, Claire slapped my hand, "You're not helping," she said curtly then proceeded to giggle. I nodded sagely but was unable to look at Ezz.

When we had all finished and sat back surveying the empty plates and bowls, I finally had the strength to look over at Ezz. She laughed as our eyes met and I snorted and turned away. "Why can't you two behave?" Claire hissed, I reached for her hand and held it lightly. "I am so sorry, I..." I gave up and laughed, Claire removed her hand but laughed with me. The waiter came over trying not to laugh, and nearly succeeding. He asked if we wanted the Dessert Menu and we said we'd look but no guarantees we'd order.

He returned a few minutes later with a small blackboard with a flat foot which sat on the table. Chalked on this were the options. I had spotted and decided on the Crème Brûlée. Ezz decided on sorbet and Claire hesitated, but went for sorbet too. The waiter nodded and departed with the board.