All Comments on 'The Stolen Dozen Ch. 01'

its a nice story but....

The DC8 was new, only x-rays for diagnostics but..........

They have also internet, laptops, dvd's and mobile phones.

And why start with Chapter 5?

Nice reading something from you again.

Great story!

5

This was confusing. Is there a back story missing? And I agree with one of the other comments about the timeline not being right. Lastly, if he is only 18 now, how did he have a marriage, get shot, and get rehabbed by the marines in just a year?

Great to see you back in the New Stories list. Hope your medical situation is a little more stable and you are feeling better. Enjoyed the story and looking forward to the next installment.

Who is writing this now it would be nice to know who picked up the Authors name, and all of his stories I kind of skipped to here to ask .I will go back read the full story now

How is this starting with Chapter 5?? It doesn't appear to be connected to any of your other series, despite using some similar names like Gemma.

Decide which CENTURY the story is set in, at the very least. The DC8 is new (1958)? The medical tech is 1970s? But 4K wireless cameras exist, too (bringing us at least to the 2010s)?

But the main reason I gave this story only three stars is you give us three completely SMUG and UNLIKEABLE characters, argumentative at almost all times and hypercompetitive. They don't care for each other's happiness, why should I care for theirs?

Glad to see this. What happened to the original chapters? Looking forward to more!!!! Well done...like your humor!!!

Has someone hijacked Bobs profile because this is not his writing style.

More of this on prolonged debut 10A

Ncpete Bob passed away that why we had no new stories. This is new ? Someone taking over ?

I know, I don't know what they did with chapters 1 through four, but I will ask them about it when I published chapter 6. I wrote the first four chapters and they publish them. Where they put them, I have no idea. Bob

Chapters 2-4 are published under the user Prolonged_Debut10A if that's any help

It looks like Lit only replaced the content of this chapter, rather than deleting it and creating a new one, as the previous comments and votes reflecting the incorrect content are still here. It did let me amend my vote, though.

That's not to say that the "correct" Chapter 1 is flawless, though. Notably, you switch between first-person and third-person narrative voice several times, which is jarring, and some of the dialog is missing quote marks and could use some more dialog tags so we know who's speaking. Having Carolyn's father also be a Robert added a little more confusion to the mix. As usual, your couples all seem to bicker in ways that really seem unnecessary.