All Comments on 'The Substitute Husband & The Cougar'

It's THROES, do you understand, damn it? THROES of passion!

The stories on LIT are full of homophones, and I've kept a list of those I find and also other "howlers." This particular story, has several other flaws that would be eliminated had the author or editor taken the time to proofread the text. The whole tone of this tale seems to be juvenile, even though the theme is serious.

I love stories in which a son makes his mother pregnant. Keep up the hot writing!

Enough erotic sex to make the story interesting along with the good taboo storyline.

Thanks for the good read.

It seems to come from a rather juvenile viewpoint. Was this your intention, author, or an attempt to just write anything in this genre?

It used to bother me when someone had grammatical errors in their work. But life is too short to keep correcting people. ART is ART. And art is subjective. Regardless of the visual representation. ANON, please be more gentle with people. Nobody is perfect. We all have to coexist on this planet.

You wrote a very good story about a son and mother getting together after the husband/father was killed. I like how the story was developed and how they got together and had a baby. I hope you write a second part to this story and describe what happens to them later.

Your story hit all the highlights for me, mother-son, respectful relationship, hot sex, loving pregnancy. A few quibbles though.

Does the son's cock always have to be several inches bigger than dad?

It's hot enough for the son to be into the mother as SHE is, so why can't she enjoy the fact son's alive and into her on an emotional level that nobody else will approach for her to be into HIM as he is?

As for the spelling gaffes, don't sweat it too much. Just proof your draft or submit it to any of number of volunteer editors on Lit and see what we have to say. I always write quick and need five times as much time to edit it into something tight and coherent. Frustrating, but that's the writing game for you.

Anyways, good story just needing a few tweaks to be great. Keep 'em cummin'!

A touching, sensative story and very well written. Here's hoping to read many more of this quality.

Thanks to all that have left a comment. I tried to proof the story a dozen times, and still had a few goofs get through. It is intimidating to throw out a story for consumption and review, but I have a couple of ideas that I am working on. I do want to write more, but am constrained by putting food on the table and a roof over the head of my family.

While the foundation and concept were good, the story would have been a better read with the proper punctuation. The use of quotation marks would have helped greatly in delineating the thoughts and words of the characters and made the dialogue more enjoyable as well as believable. Seems a bit juvenile without the proper grammar and usage, and a very difficult read..

To hell with all the nit-pickers, I for one roam around here looking for a pleasant story.

You gave me that with this yarn.

I can't help but look at minor spelling and wordisms as another form of accent, as long as I can get the gist of the story that is enough.

This story was GREAT !

In my opinion, the gifted author shouldn't have apologized for trivial errors to overly-fastidious readers who couldn't write a story like this is their life and their family's lives depended on it. Mike's in love with his mother Jackie with all his young heart and soul, he loves everything about her, especially that wonderful hairy hole between her legs, the same hole he came out of. Jackie loves everything about her big strong boy, most particularly what Mike's got jumping around in his pants. Mike's always hard around his mother, and don't think that mom doesn't notice. She sure does, and it makes her sopping wet "down there." Nothing else could suffice, so Mike sticks his big hard cock up his mother's warm wet cunt and gives them both the by far best fuck of their lives. The boy blows his young balls and shoots his mom a great big twatful of his creamy semen, and, lo and behold, he's fucked a baby up where he was once a baby. I'm so glad that Mike and Jackie move away, get married, and live happily together as man and wife, in a big house swarming with cute little incest kids. They deserve it.

I liked the story very much and gave it five stars. Personally I thought it would have been hotter if there had been more of a seduction on her part. The spelling/grammatical errors did bother me as well but not enough to mark it down. For future stories, I'd suggest using an editor. An author can proofread his work dozens of times and still miss mistakes that an editor would catch on the first read. Just a suggestion.

I know you are still an active reader here. I know what you said here and in your profile about familial constraints.

But you also said

"I have a couple of ideas that I am working on . . . "

Isn't it about time you let one of your ideas find it's way onto the page?

The theme won't surprise us. You have already braved the slings and arrows. How about another?

The story was ok could have been better but you killed it when you kept mentioning her dead husband all through out it and how no man could compare to him I get telling us about him I also get that she was in love with him but to keep mentioning him through out the whole story was over kill plus you pretty much said the only reason she was with him in that way was cause he was like his father and for the most part even looked like him stories written like this one can never be good it can only be ok people just don't want to read about a woman who compares every one she is with to her dead husband and keeps mentioning him all the time and definitely not a man especially while she seducing him that the big no no but like I said it was ok ill give 3 stars

the word 'bowels' is NOT sexy

hated it.

mexican man and white woman, eh? this is another example i've seen, example of how latino men are superior and attempting to breed out all white women. how pathetic and racist~

ah! story that supports mexican immigrants! i wonder how many mexicans enjoy this story, especially illegal immigrants! as immigrant myself, but not illegal, i will say this story sucks!

Loved it light hearted and wonderful eternal love story!!! 5/5

Thoroughly enjoyed the story. As one who has no problem with mutually consensual incest in real life, in this story, I wonder if the mother was really able to put her deceased husband in the proper place or was Mike always compared to his dead father. In real life, when things get rough or in anger, the ghost always wins. With the preceding stated, 5 star story.