All Comments on 'The Swagman'

A horrid and despicable man. A story for international woman’s day? Downtrodden married woman stands up to her tormentor. Interspersed among a predictable story was some peircing observations. What do you call the bond holding a long term relationship together? Love? Or Obligation? And you saved the best little gem till the end, “the door, works like a .....” I laughed so hard I almost shit lol. 5*

Just an excellent piece of writing. Our narrator is arrogant, selfish and deeply unpleasant but superbly drawn. How did this happen to him? He will never know because it would require him to look outside himself and that's beyond him.

Real craftsmanship.

You managed to create a main character who is a world class asshole. I was rooting for his wife to leave him. All of your stories are very well written and give me a real feel of the landscape in Australia. Thanks.

Your shit the bed here

Saul the narrator is unpleasant, harbors politically incorrect thoughts, and is pathetically weak before his wife Caro and the squatter Riley, whom he underestimates, all true. And Caro wears her heart on her sleeve and feels compassion for the downtrodden, perhaps to the point of recklessness, also true. If Riley had looted and set fire to Saul's house he would be put in prison, but somehow our laws allow this homeless squatter to steal Saul's foolish wife and half of his stuff. Here, I believe, lies the basis for much of the anger we see in the comments.

The writing is of high quality in concept and execution. I liked the allegory of allowing this squatter to invade the wife's "garden". I also liked how a seed was planted in wifey's head when she heard the squatter giving his own beautiful young wife three loud orgasms. I didn't like how hubby was portrayed as weak and stupid. So wifey goes on a drunken date in a small town? Hubby does nothing. She spends 4 hours (!) with the squatter in his hovel? Hubby does nothing. At every turn the squatter is portrayed as strong and smart while hubby as weak and ineffectivel. No wonder the farm hands hold hubby in such contempt; they all know. Oh, and of course the squatter has an outsized penis.

I expect in the the real world such a hubby would lawyer up and fight like hell. And I wonder, will darling daughter defend her mother's infidelity when she realizes Riley is stealing her inheritance, too? And will Caro soon tire of Riley's big dick and his mean estate? Seems likely. Finding wifey and winning her back would make an interesting next chapter. Too bad the author has stopped writing, but we can hope. Or perhaps this is her preferred ending. Either way, five stars.

A horrible, weak and pathetic man watches as his equally sad and idiotic femist cheerleader wife gets played, fucked and then by implication robbed of the proceeds of her thoroughly earned divorce. Not one likeable character in this mess. Crap.

Page after page of solid build-up to....immediate surrender?!? Why take him on a journey, if the ending was telegraphed from page one and you had no intention of giving him initiative enough to change it?

You treat your woman like sh_t, expect fallout. He should have secured and protected his rightful part of the assets in the relationship all along.

With that immature attitude, derogatory remarks, actions and disrespect, he could not have expected less than to be cleaned out. Yea, some a_sholes learn the hard way, but married to a she-dog is also a challenge, same true for vain she-dogs and caring a_sholes and/or wimps.

Something just come to mind, the classic "She/he is so beautiful/handsome, how could he/she treat her/him like that?" ANSWER "Well, somewhere out there someone is tired of all her/his bullsh_t!"

All in all, this is the tragic way things go when there is a lack of respect from either partner. Not my kettle of fish though.

I really didn't like a single character in this story. The ending revealed a pathetic man who could not possibly be as smart as he was supposed to be if that was the best he could do to locate the wife stealing swagman. Not that I felt sorry for him, he was an arrogant ass, but Riley was not much better.

What a prick, Saul. Fascinating being told in the first person by Saul. I know a couple Sauls. Completely unaware. I like the little dick/big dick metaphor for what a coward/bully Saul is. Beautiful tale of comeuppance for Saul, and of Caro finding happiness again. It reminds me of a couple of the tales from Bocaccio's The Decameron, wherein a wife finds happiness away from her pious self-righteous husband. You are a fabulous writer. Very well done. By the way, I'm still working on Wingnut! Many thanks *****

A well told tale. I love that you managed to make Saul so unlikable throughout and yet still kept my attention.

The husband was sharp. alert. on the mark! Pity you tried to portray him as abusive and unfeeling.

His emotions were real.

His actions could have been more direct

His perceptive nature was 100%

This is a disturbing story that should unsettle any man with dickish proclivities. That’s probably why it has received such poor scores, all the dickheads suddenly feel at risk for something similar. But a powerful story none the less. First rate authorship.

Deserves higher rating.

Complex, perceptive, insightful, and beautifully written. Saul (the narrator) may be just a LITTLE over-the-top in his smugness, reactionary views, and absence of self-awareness. Or maybe not: maybe men like him are more common than I want to believe. (Certainly the Literotica community seems to have a few.) Sometimes my own personality and behavior are uncomfortably close to Saul's, especially in interactions with my spouse. Ouch.

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The character Caroline is a wonderful creation. Although very far from a standard porn heroine, she entirely captures our (or at least my) sympathies. The destroyed garden works well both as realistic action and as symbolism. Clever. In sum, this is a fine piece of writing. 5*.

Don't call Saul! Lol Riley may get to fuck Caroline for a while, but I think she's shown herself to be her own woman. She'll replace Mackenzie for a while, but she'll be no more permanent. She'll find Riley a fine revenge-fuck but no more permanent than any other revenge-fuck. I think Saul and Caroline are doomed to reunite. Both will have learned some lessons, but both are only ultimately fit to be with each other. No one else will ever be able to abide either of them. They need each other and will live out their lives making each other miserable. These are the Bickersons' mid-life crises - Saul with Ellen and Caro with Riley. The professor rated it five stars. He is a better judge than I am, so it's 5 stars from me too.